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Greetings folks... As you might have noticed, this site has been offline since around mid-day Tuesday. Our prior hosting provider decided that they are unable to continue hosting our website and had ended service to us. Unfortunately they did not provide any notification to me about this decision and I was forced to move the site to a new server without any sort of heads up. This includes arranging for the new hosting company, configuring the new server to meet the technical requirements, getting a copy of our current data, restoring that data (over 300GB of files), recovering the database (over 18.5 million records in that database taking up 11GB of space for the DB alone), and reconfiguring the software itself to run in the new environment. While migrating there was also some technical issues that I ran into that required me to coordinate with Invision's technical support team. So that back and forth added additional time to the mix as well. And to pile on further… all of this occurred while I'm traveling for my day job. So I've been doing this while in a hotel in between doing my day job on the road. There are most likely several other things that will need to be fixed still and I'm working through them. For example, email may only be partially working. I still need to setup things like SPF and DKIM for the new server so our emails don't flag as spam. There are other settings that might need to be redone to work in the new server as well that I'm not thinking about yet. (As you might have imagined, I've not had much sleep during this whole process.) But anyway... you get the idea. No... we're not going anywhere! This was a minor setback but we'll continue to move forward. Thank you all for your understanding and support! Rob

Gentlemen, The moderators could use your help. Many of the reports we receive deal with merging threads, usually about providers, and moving threads to the correct forum. Before posting a message or starting a new thread, please check to see if the topic is in the correct forum or thread. If it’s regarding a provider check that the topic is not already being discussed in a previous thread. Everyday we are merging threads and moving them from the Deli to the Spa or to Questions. Remember, each forum has a brief description of what topics it covers. If you are reporting a thread that needs to be merged, always include a link to the other thread. Also, always include a reason for submitting your report. Thanks to all members who follow these guidelines and contact us when action is required.

From missionary position to missionary work in under 30 seconds.

I recently retired and soon after my move to Palm Springs, I started going to the gym each day. My intention was just to improve my level of fitness and, as the gym is one which caters to a very high percentage of gay middle aged men, to ogle those men who have not been remiss in going to the gym. The gym has many very muscular men and lots of fit men of all ages. Going to the gym has been much easier as I know that there will be all kinds of eye candy there. The people have been extraordinarily supportive of a fat old man doing walking laps. I have receieved unsolicited encouragement from dozens of people at the gym and it has made this transition to a healthier lifestyle much easier. On the first day, I walked a mile and when I was done, one of the trainers came to speak to me and encourage me to keep at it. Several days later, I saw him again and I asked to speak to him about an eventual training session. He asked me what my goals were at the gym and I told him that my immediate goal was to be able to get up off the floor unassisted. He said that he likes people with realistic goals and there should be no trouble reaching this milestone. He left, I sat for a bit taking in the view and then went to rise from the chair only to have the leg twist and buckle and I landed on the floor. After the inital shock of being on the floor wore off, I looked around and no one was coming to give me assistance and so I need to get myself up. I eventually succeeded just as some men noticed me and came to assist. They were fairly hot looking and I was tempted to throw myself down to the floor just so they would help me up. Instead, I thought, well my first goal was accomplished so time to set a new one. My follow up goal had to do with activities at the gyn and my personal appearance. As a fat men over 60, it had been awhile since I had seen my penis without the use of a mirror and some belly shuffling. So my goal became to see my penis. Only two methods came to mind, lose substantial gut or get a bigger penis. I would have preferred the getter a bigger penis option, but that did not seem viable, so I opted for the lose some of the gut al.ternative. Two month later, my walking sessions have stretched to almost an hour and I have increased my distance by 2.5 times the original. Clothes are looser and energy is higher and yesterday was the day the second goal was accomplished. There, while looking down at my feet, was an old friend I had not seen for years. He looked good but a bit less robust than I remembered him. Still, I was happy to see him and soon afterward he appeared to be happy to see me. So now that I have reached my second plateau, do any of you have any suggestions as to what the third goal should be? I intend to continue going to the gym, even through the summer inferno of Palm Springs but a fun and achievable goal makes the whole process easier. I will be adding some light weight training to my regimen. I have considered that a pec bounce might be the next goal but I am open to suggestions.

I only pay escorts to talk about things like NY vs Chicago pizza, conspiracy theories and geology. They insist on having sex with me afterwards for free. Who am I to turn them down? 🤷‍♂️

We’ve all seen it happen: A benign thread on this site that gets derailed by haughty and venomous users who seemingly delight in belittling and bullying others. Sometimes their comments reflect an inability, or maybe an unwillingness, to accept that others simply disagree with them. Perhaps more disturbing are the times when their spite and snark emerge with no clear provocation, leaving the rest of us to wonder whether participating on this site is worth the hassle. Either way, this mean girl dynamic — the bullying of fellow users into submission and silence — is difficult to avoid on Company of Men, and it undermines this site as a space where all of us can convene and connect. Outside of reporting such behavior to site administrators — an imperfect response that raises its own set of challenges — I see no clear path toward curbing this dynamic on CoM. (If others have suggestions, feel free to share.) I am naming it here for the benefit of others who, like me, are troubled by the mean-spiritedness of some of our fellow site members. You are not crazy; some of our peers on CoM are terribly unkind, and their petty and spiteful communication styles can make it difficult to spend time here. And sure, this is not unique to CoM. Aggressive and malicious comments from others pervade practically every online domain imaginable. But I find the mean girl dynamic on CoM particularly disheartening because of the purpose of this site. As a gay man of a certain age who is often invisible in bars and clubs catering to the gym-bodied under-40 crowd, and who engages in the type of encounters discussed on this site, I don’t have many people that I can talk to about my specific “extracurricular activities.” (I imagine this is the case for some — not all, but some — of you as well.) I was so relieved when I finally discovered this site after years of wasting time and money on unskilled providers just looking to make a quick buck. I was also incredibly grateful for the outlet (and on some days, the lifeline) this site provided during the COVID lockdown. CoM has the potential to nurture a spirit-lifting camaraderie for those of us who struggle to find it elsewhere. I wish some of us weren’t so seemingly hellbent on tearing others down. Note: I have not named any specific users in this post, as the issue at hand extends beyond any single user. I implore anyone who chooses to comment on this thread to follow suit.

It’s just good manners.

Never confuse Grindr and RM. They usually serve two very different purposes. If someone makes the mistake of calling me out as an escort on Grindr, they are usually ignored. My profile makes zero mention of that side of my life. It's strange that some guys can't read between the lines. Don't judge an escort for having his own personal likes and needs.

Glad you’re back. Thanks for your hard work in keeping this valuable forum alive!

Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism. So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary. But if you travel far...tip accordingly. All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen.

Whether we providers genuinely enjoy the experience is irrelevant. The question is: did YOU enjoy the experience? If so, pay the guy and see him often. He’s providing a high level of value to you. Reciprocate that value to him. A client hired me for an overnight recently. Given, this was not for massage although he does like some massage time, but that’s beside the point. We have a good long time rapports going and it works because we both understand the transactional nature of the relationship, respect the boundaries, and yet have a great time together anyway. It’s possible to be genuine and still provide a professional service. For example, while he was fucking me, he hit just the right spot and we stayed in that position for a while me riding him, and it gave me a non-ejaculatory orgasm lasting for a solid few minutes. I didn’t hold back at all. My voice, breath, expression, and demeanor matched the intensity of my feelings. It was amazing! I usually am the one fucking him for most or all of the session, and it was refreshing to switch roles for a bit. I wasn’t acting at all while I enjoyed myself in that moment. He told me later that it’s important to him that I am genuinely enjoying myself too and that he appreciated me sharing moments like that with him. For some clients, an important element of value we provide is to actually enjoy the experience, which in turn gratifies the client. You can’t buy that on a hookup app. Acting is part of the job. Once in a while, I truly have to ‘act’ and I don’t like it, but I do it. I can’t genuinely be in ecstasy at every moment with every client. That’s unrealistic. I may not even enjoy the experience at all, but who’s to say? Fortunately I have very few clients where that is 100% true. I like to play up the moments I am enjoying and play down the moments I don’t enjoy as much. That way, it’s more an augmentation of reality rather than a false reality. With most clients I find something about them and/or what we are doing together that I like and I focus on that. It’s often multiple things. In that way, it’s not acting as much as it is focusing. It takes an experienced savvy provider to walk this line well. A while ago a client gave me one of the best blowjobs. Top 10, easy. And you don’t want to know how many BJs I’ve had from how many different men over my life. It would make us both blush. It’s difficult to find men who give truly excellent head. Plenty of so-so, decently proficient, and lots of really bad head out there. So when I come across a rare encounter with a truly skilled man, I relish the experience. I thought to myself in the moment, “I should be paying him!” And then I snapped out of it and remembered that everything about the experience is on his terms, for his benefit. We meet when he wants, do the things he likes, the way he wants, for as long as he wants, and I am not dictating any of it for my own pleasure. I’m doing everything for his ultimate gratification. My reward is monetary. Any pleasure I get out of it is incidental. So whether your provider enjoys the session or not - and whether you CARE if he enjoys the session or not - he is giving you what you want. Passive or active, he is delivering value to you on your terms. And at the end of the day, if he genuinely likes it, wouldn’t this be a nice bonus for you both? And if he’s acting, wouldn’t you rather not know? Pay your professional providers. Tip them. Hire them frequently. And please ….clients…. stop overthinking his level of enjoyment or lack thereof. Focus on YOURS!

Listen I love this group, you guys are amazing, but please do not share my PRIVATE MESSAGES with masseurs you meet. A few months ago, I met a regular client who said to me "did you post something on this forum that was negative?" I said what are you talking about. He said he met a client who SHOWED HIM MY RESPONSE to a message about his work. I was shocked. I said " don't have clue and if it was negative then why am I here?" Please be careful with what is shared here. Private messages should remain so. No mad just concerned. Terp

As long as his rod and staff comfort you. 🤷🏼

This kind of thing never ceases to amaze me. As gay men in the dating world, we all stress about our insecurities.. Is he into me? Am I hot enough for him? Am I doing it right? Do I live up to his other sex partners? Hiring a provider is the one scenario where you can - at long last - unburden yourself of all that bullshit. And if you're hiring the right provider, and he cares about your experience, he knows it's his job to create a safe space and to facilitate that unburdening. The lengths that we'll go to to sabotage that unburdening really speak to how deep these insecurities cut. Give yourself a break from worrying about the bullshit! Let yourself enjoy the purity of the actual situation you have available to you. Let your provider be the one to worry if you like him. Let him be the one to worry if you'll hire him again. And let him have the freedom to compartmentalize his private sex life the way he pleases.

There’s no accounting for taste. I disagree with a lot of people’s opinions on this site as I’m sure they would disagree with mine.

Let sleeping dogs lie. If the guy wants to bring a third in and it's his relationship, he needs to man up and do the asking. Not you. If this goes South, you could end up losing D) All of the above.

It’s really helpful if the provider’s city, as well as his name, is posted in the title. “Dick in Des Moines” “Boner Boy in Berlin” Thanks all!

YES! Most of them, from the ones I've seen around Lowes and Home Depot speak minimal English. It's taking advantage of desperate men in the worst way. It's a type of sex trafficking. Don't even think about it.

I’ve used Day Laborers, for painting, landscaping work, and general contracting. They are great. They are not street hustlers for sex, and I recommend not propositioning them for such activities.

I'm back in Ohio, it's Spring, and I have a new great-grandson!!!🎉😄😍

Dear comrades, I am the OP, but I have changed my username from lostlonelysoul. Details below. Thanks for all your recommendations. I eventually booked a 2-hour session with @Simon Suraci. I have been eyeing for him on both RM platforms for weeks even before I made my post. But his home base (SD) is way too far from me. So I gave up until I saw his travel location coincided with my business trip. It was meant to be. Let me start by saying that his ad/profile pics definitely do not do him justice. He is 100X hotter in person. You need to see him for yourself. Per your suggestions, I originally made a massage appointment, but as soon as I told him what I truly desired, he did not hesitate to switch gear and led me to the bedroom. Needless to say, I was consumed by stress and anxiety initially. He had a magical way to put me at ease. Aside from being handsome & sexy as hell, he’s intelligent, funny, and kind. Before I knew it, I had my first kiss, my first embrace with a man, my first time touching another man’s naked body all over, and…… I’ll let your imagination run wild to fill in the blanks (many, many, many other blanks indeed). I was (and kind of still is) in a euphoric state for days afterwards. Luckily, I have no important deadlines or projects on hand; otherwise, I’ll be doomed, for that session was the only thing I could think of ever since. @Simon Suraci exceeded every expectation I have for my first rendezvous and I am so glad I made the right choice for my many, many firsts. I bet he will forget about me very soon, but I am 100% certain I will remember him for the rest of my life. Frankly, that was one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had. I'll surely pay close attention to his traveling schedule from now on. Thank you all once again. No longer lost; No longer lonely (even though still alone); My soul has been salvaged; The gate of heaven has been unlocked; Let the wild ride begin + continue

The framing of your question is interesting. You ask 'How could they still provide a great service', but then you said that you didn't like it when they revealed they had a partner. So your summary question, 'How could you adjust your guilty feeling to enjoy the experience?' captures what you are actually asking. It's not how they can do it but how can you manage your feelings about it. My answer to the whole question is that if a provider has a partner, they are already dealing with how to manage it. They may still be coming to terms with it and their relationship, or they may have a settled routine and a partner who understands and accepts (at least to a point) their work commitments. Clients probably should not fret about how the provider manages it, and allow them the space to manage their lives as they wish. Providers perhaps need to be judicious in whom they tell as they cannot be sure whether it would be an issue for a client. Whether a client can deal with the idea that their provider is 'cheating' on a partner is something for the client to deal with (and it's really none of their business whether the provider and their partner think they are cheating). If the client can't deal with any feelings they have about a partnered provider, that's an issue for them to resolve, not the provider. But in the end, if a client can't come to terms with the idea they can walk away.

I always tip my regulars. I aways tip providers who go above and beyond in ways that genuinely surprise and touch me. I suffer from migraines. One night, rather than cancel, all I wanted was to nap, close my eyes and be held in the provider’s arms for two hours with the lights dimmed. I asked him to wake me up when the two hours were up and he needed to leave. About six hours later, I woke up—and he was still there lying in bed next to me. When I asked why he hadn’t woken me, he simply said, “You were sleeping.” He became a regular. And then later a genuine friend.

One’s an order at a fine dining restaurant, the other’s you yelling into the drive-thru speaker at 2 a.m.

Personally, I think you’re going about this line of work for the wrong reasons. Monetizing your sex life, for one. This phrase neatly summarizes the sentiment discussed in so many other threads on these forums. It just doesn’t work. A much larger number of men would do it if that’s all it took. For another, your primary interest is in the income, not meeting needs you personally are well suited to fulfill. Nothing wrong taking a fair income for delivering high value services to a willing clientele; however, it takes a lot to provide m4m services effectively and be successful. More than looks, and certainly you need experience and talent either on the massage table, in the bedroom, or both. Plus marketing and business savvy, patience, emotional maturity, boundaries, people skills, and many other soft skills. You’re going about it quite casually. This is serious work. To do it well IMHO, you need to do it for the right reasons (beyond a quick buck). This is about meeting very real human needs, not Grindr with the slight caveat of money changing hands. It takes empathy, compassion, and a selfless, service oriented mindset to do a good job. Missing these big picture items, you will likely burn out, and not succeed. Then you’re just another mediocre provider of many, the likes of which the men here pick apart mercilessly and publicly for both shallow and legitimate reasons. Then you inevitably fade into the background and quit 6-24 months after starting. Don’t be that guy. To succeed and sustain, you need to keep on your best game and continue to grow and get better. A short sighted, half ass effort in this biz is immediately apparent to everyone, from the ads you post to the first impression you impart to every new client in person. Lastly, I personally feel you are already in a much too vulnerable position being in the US on any visa, student or otherwise. It’s one thing being a US citizen and kicked out of your apartment lease because your landlord knows or suspects you are a masseur or sex worker. That sucks, but it’s quite another scale of consequence to be kicked out of the country for the same. I wouldn’t jeopardize your life. I need to refrain from saying anything further to expand this point, because it wouldn’t conform to the forum guidelines. Be careful, is all. You already have an excellent opportunity studying here doing something you presumably have a long term goal to fulfill. I would hate to see something bad happen to you or to miss out on your dreams over a quick buck side hustle your heart was never truly into in the first place. Just my take. Do what you will. If you want to do it anyway, some of the others here have already made some good points about not showing your face, not using your real name, taking steps for plausible deniability, shifting some risk onto others by tagging along on 4-hand gigs, etc. There’s more to it than all that, for instance how to properly declare your income and pay taxes, and how to set up a business entity to do so legally. In the end, it’s not always about what you are actually doing, but what Uncle Sam discovers about his missing slice of your pie that catches up to you and ruins you, but that’s a whole other subject. My advice is don’t go there. Be safe. Enjoy the incredible opportunities you already have. I too was a dirt poor college student many moons ago. I was disciplined. I budgeted. I made it work. Money won’t always be so tight.

Only thing getting burned out is my bank account!

Age should not be a barrier to having a fulfilling sexual experience, especially with an escort. If it feels like it is, you haven’t found the right escort. They are out there.

I think you’re over thinking it. It’s all about finding the right partner and finding a fulfilling experience. Once you find that person, invest in something recurring.

I use the low cost airline pricing strategy for up selling: I’ve got a rate marker tottood on my cock. First inch inside is £50. Want the next inch? That’s another £40. Next is a further £40…Balls deep the total comes to £330 (those who paid attention in maths class will be working out my size)…. Once it’s in then I ask how many thrusts the client wants. They can buy the Platinum service (£100 for unlimited thrusts) or package of 20 thrusts for £5. The final pull out is free. If they want to change position then that’s like buying a new ticket: they need to pay by the inch again. If I’m bottoming I don’t charge by the inch (it wouldn’t maximise income from less well endowed clients…and if I find someone with 12 inches then he’s welcome to use them all for a flat rate tbh).

You've hit the jackpot. Pay that guy / tip him well / call him often.

I never upsell. I think it’s bad practice to do so, especially during the massage. I think you agree the content and the rate beforehand and stick to it. Offering an upsell mid massage is taking advantage of someone when they probably aren’t able or willing to decline it. If someone asks for more services mid massage (and it’s something I’d usually charge extra for, such as to bottom) then I usually suggest they book that for next visit.

Hello, I'm a newbie who has spent more time than I care to admit browsing and searching this forum over the past several months. First of all, let me say that the advices, reviews and experiences shared by everyone here were a huge help in taking the leap with my first hire. I'm a closeted bisexual man who tends to read obsessively on topics I'm anxious about, so thank you all for maintaining this open and supportive community. A few weeks ago I hired someone from RentMen and I figured I'd share this first experience now that I've had some time to process it. Who knows, maybe it will help someone down the line, just as previous posters have unknowingly helped me. So, here we go. I hired a different provider than I had originally in mind, someone of a similar age and with good reviews on this forum. The booking process went quite smoothly thanks to the numerous threads about first-contact etiquette. When I contacted him I stated that I saw his profile on RentMen, I was looking for a 3-hour outcall in a hotel in my city, offered a few options of dates and times, and sent him basic informations about myself. I also mentioned that this would be my very first experience with a man, which made me quite nervous, and I wanted to make sure he was OK with it. He was very reassuring, we discussed what I wanted to try, my goal for the session, my limits, etc. We confirmed the rate and time, and it was all set in less than two hours. I was so nervous the day of the appointment, I felt like a teenager on his first date. I had put his rate in an unmarked envelope very visibly on a table, I offered him something to drink and we talked for a while. The conversation was easy, he asked questions about me and my expectations, told me about himself, his life, how happy he was to help me go through with this, etc. Mutual oral was the only specific thing I requested when we texted initially, since I knew that I'd feel comfortable trying, so it felt natural to start there. He took the lead, asked me to help him get undressed, he guided me to touch him and he taught me how to blow him (never realized a dick would feels so smooth in my mouth when it was like a steel rod in his boxers 😅). It was absolutely awesome and I was ecstatic when he came in my mouth. We continued fooling around and having some fun, talked for a bit and then he was on his way. Was it everything I was hoping for? Probably not. While I thoroughly enjoyed going to town on this stud and I'm glad I got to explore this side of myself, there were moments where I felt somewhat self-conscious and out of place. It still felt like a hookup, which I guess it was, but at the time it made me wonder if this hobby was really meant for me. Not at all the provider's fault however, he was lovely, patient and kind. I usually enjoy sex the most when I have developed some trust/intimacy with the person I'm with, so I'm guessing having a regular provider is probably what I'm looking for. I think I was trying to get it to live up to years of built-up expectations, which was unrealistic. Instead, I'm now trying to focus on the positive aspects of the experience, since I still loved it. Recently, I was thinking about which country to visit this fall, and I realized that I was also looking up the providers available in those countries. I usually travel to explore food and culture, but I guess Men can be another form of cultural exploration. It confirmed what many of you have said — this hobby can indeed be quite addictive. 😉

Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage, but sometimes the horse wants to be unharnessed and frolic with a mare that catches his eye. My partner and I were happily married, but I was nevertheless sexually attracted to a variety of men, though not interested in a romantic relationship with them. We agreed from the start that ours would be an "open" marriage, so both of us had occasional sex with other men when circumstances were suitable. Back then, the commercial open marketplace for gay sex didn't exist, except for street hustlers, who usually were not my type. As we aged, opportunities for sex with attractive men became very limited. Then one day, I happened to be alone in NYC, and in the Advocate I saw an ad for a sex service. Curious, I went to the address, told the man at the desk what I was in the mood for at that moment, and he directed me to a room to which he would send someone. I waited in the room for about ten minutes, and in walked a guy whom I could never have picked up cruising on my own. We had great sex, then I dressed and went back to the desk out front, and paid. Soon I learned about finding freelance providers on the Internet (I had just bought my first desktop computer), and from then on my only sex outside marriage was with the professionals, because it was quick and easy, with no danger of becoming emotionally involved with someone just because we had sex.

I'm going to write you guys a story here that's very applicable to these forums that I have refrained from telling. Mostly because you don't want to give everyone hope and my situation is probably pretty unique and rare. Backstory: I'm a 47 year old gay guy who had never hired before or considered it up until about four years ago. I am very masculine and cool and comfortable. For reference, a bigger guy (5'11, 255#) but carry it well. Handsome face and usually attracted both women and men. I'm not fucking paying for sex is what I always thought. Spent my life in IT and rode the crypto wave a decade ago. I founded my own company and built it with my then partner at the time. It was crazy successful but tore us apart emotionally. We separated and I moved out. When the company was crashing down and almost bankrupt, I was drinking every single day and didn't leave my house for a week. Didn't shower and shave. I was a mess. For many reasons, I lost all my friends. I had lawsuits against me and couldn't go hang out at the bars. My lawyers said I couldn't talk about everything and my entire social world was with my partner. If I walked into a bar, people would be like "how's work? how's your partner?" and I just had nothing. So I stayed home. After a month or so of this, I wanted a person. Someone to just hold me and tell me life would be okay and to just have raw sex with and unload everything in my balls as much as possible, because at least that would feel good for the moment, right? Escort: So I jump on Rent Men. $300 per hour. Had a guy come over. It was decent, I got off, and he went away. Not great not bad. Tried it a second time, same thing. At least I had someone with a pulse. Third time, I was in New York city which is amazing for escorts and I decided okay, let's do this the right way. I have a list of 20 requirements I want. Handsome as fuck, masculine, square jaw, deep voice, a body like you just walked off a stage. Just raw dripping testosterone... and that's a little hard to find right. But that's when Trevor walked into my life. Paid for an hour. We met up and guess what? Didn't even have sex or get off. Just talked and I was too nervous and shy because I had never been around someone like him before. A day after we met up, he texts me and says "You know I do overnights, right?" and so I paid $2,400 for an overnight and it kind of changed my life. I had been a top my entire life and never got fucked, but this dude railed my lights out and I LOVED it. I didn't understand why or how guys bottom until him. So I go back to NYC and we do it again. Then again. After a few meetings, he basically looks at me and is like "What are you doing with your life?" -- I think he could see the depression and me not taking care of myself. My gut reaction was "I'm not paying you to question me like this!" but it sat with me. I kept thinking about the question. I wound up hiring him for a trip out of the USA as a 4th person for a group of three of us. It was a lot of money but worth it. Fast forward a year and he actually made me a better person. I woke up in the morning and thought "What would Trev do?" so I hauled myself out of bed and showered and shaved and hit the gym. Then did it again. I realized that I am not just paying Trev for sex, but the value is flowing both ways. I'm getting more out of this then I am paying. Jose: So I am back in Boston and lonely. But I am doing better. I have more energy, I look better, and I see the sun and the good things and natural energy takes over in all my interactions during the day. I don't want or need a boyfriend or a relationship and that's why I was hiring, because they go home afterwards. But I am horny and bored on a Friday night. There's a new escort in town I haven't seen so I get him over for an hour for $300. He leaves but there was a real connection. I text him after and ask if he has plans the following night, and he said he can come back. I offer $2000 for the night. .... and he doesn't leave. We sit on the beach watching the sun come up together. He lives in Miami and says "Come to Miami and stay with me." Well wouldn't you know I had a conference in Miami that Wednesday, already had an Airbnb booked with work people, and flights planned. I say what the hell and take him up on the offer. I walk in the door to his apartment and it's clean, and comfortable, and feels like home. We spend the next week together each night. No payment. Nothing. Passionate sex. But more than that, an actual connection. I go home and tell him to come back to Boston and go to Ptown with me in two weeks. One year later, I asked him how many people he invited to his house before. He said nobody. His house is his temple and he doesn't bring clients back. Fast forward almost two years and I am now living in Miami at his place. My company went bankrupt and I lost everything, and he's here paying the bills supporting us. He said "I don't care how much money you have, I would be happy eating a sandwich with you in the room with nothing" We are getting married soon. Lesson: I'm writing this to show people that escorts are also humans. Will this happen to others? Probably not. But beyond the business transaction, they are also people with their own problems, their own life, and their own desires. I happened to find someone who was single, available, open, and fell in love with me (although I didn't know it at the time). But at the end of the day, what really matters is will they be there for you when you have nothing and the money runs out? In my case, yes. He was there to pay some of the bills and give me a place to live. That's how you know it's genuine and authentic. As far as Trevor goes -- those types of escorts are just magic. You can pay for sex, sure. But sometimes you can get so much more if you open yourself up and let it in. It isn't always about sex. He and I still keep in touch. He doesn't escort anymore and is back in Canada living his fulfilling live off of Rent.men. He will be back at some point and if you have the chance to hire him (he is easily searchable on here), don't walk, but run at the chance. He's fucking awesome. So that's my story. It feels good writing it. Not looking for any validation, just something to share. Be good guys.

I just wanted to come on here and express my gratitude for this site and all of you posters! I never thought I’d find community on a message board primarily devoted to male SWs, but here we are. Thank you all for discussing topics most of us don’t have the opportunity to talk about in person or on social media… I truly appreciate the (mostly) respectful banter!

How many times do you answer the phone in your real life when someone who calls isn't already in your contact list? For me: ZERO

🥳 G’day @mike carey and Happy Birthday to one of the hardest working moderators we have. Thank you for volunteering your time to keep this site a most enjoyable and informative place to visit. Your hard and dedicated work is most appreciated. Enjoy your special day! Cheers! 🥂

Yes.

This is not complicated, many people (including me) do not want any record that the transaction occurred, for legal (and confidentiality) reasons.

I hire day laborers through neighbor referrals and from the Home Depot crowd. It’s very common for homeowners and contractors to hire them in California. For sex though, I feel like it’s predatory to solicit these guys. They are very hard working and honest people, in my experience. If they wanted to make some quick money turning tricks, they certainly would find a way. A lot of them really do need the money badly. Some live multiple families to one housing unit and struggle to pay for living expenses. One of my guys actually just quit because he is moving to another state to reduce his expenses. Like much of the population, most of the migrant workers are not cut out to be good escorts. It takes a lot of concurrent qualities, skills, interests, and willingness to take on sex work. Like most of us in the US, a lot of them wouldn’t consider sex work based on religious or moral reasons. Machismo culture in Mexico and elsewhere in Latin America is certainly a deterring factor. To sleep with men for money is demoralizing and humiliating. Plus they might not be good at it. Besides looks and cultural influences, it takes a lot to be a good male sex worker.

Nope if someone is hiring me a man to have sex with them they are not straight. Are some of them married with kids sure. But they are bi. Or at the very least heteroflexible. Class repeat after me… if you have sex with a man and you are a man you are not straight.

Greetings! I implemented a change this morning to require new accounts (less than 30 days old) to require moderator approval for new posts in an effort to mitigate some of the recent increased spam attacks. Once a new account has 5 unique pieces of content approved (new topics, replies, etc), they’ll automatically be updated to no longer require moderator approval. Again, this is only being done as a spam mitigation mechanism. I’m not looking to censor new users or prevent discussion. Posts that are not spam and that don’t violate the community guidelines will be approved as quickly as possible. I would just ask that folks remember we have a small team of volunteers who moderate the site and this is a side gig for all of us. So if it takes a little bit of time for us to see/approve a topic, it’s not personal! Thanks! Rob

Yes 🚩! My second hour is 15% less than the first hour. I don’t publish rates longer than 2 hours but the % reduction would be about the same. It really depends on the set up and my willingness to do a longer session. I generally am not keen to do multiple hours so I’d price it accordingly. I had one guy ask me for my rate for a 4 hour booking. I gave him a number. He divided that by 4, came up with an hourly rate….and then asked to book just an hour. Smart. Of course I said ‘sorry it doesn’t work like that, the first hour is more expensive’ so he said ‘ok I’ll book just the 4th hour then please’ 😳

Please trust that we are already doing our best to make our spa better. We pay attention to every positive and negative review from our customers, and we make improvements based on the feedback. However, we have our own standards for deciding whether or not to terminate an employee. You mentioned your issue was not resolved and asked me to fire Adem. My answer is: I will not fire Adem, because many other customers appreciate and enjoy his service. Another reason is that the complaint you provided about your experience with him was vague and unclear. If you are very dissatisfied with that particular session, we are willing to offer you a refund. If you don’t feel comfortable seeing him again, you are welcome to choose another therapist or visit a different spa. Most of our staff here are young people in their early 20s, and it’s natural for young people to make mistakes. I hope everyone can be more understanding and patient with them. Especially during this difficult time, they truly need this job. As you may have noticed, there have been changes in our schedule, and for those employees who have seriously crossed the line, we have taken termination measures as well.

I am ready, willing and able to pay top dollar for top escorts. But I am very picky. The way I afford this hobby is by picking only guys who flake on me, change travel plans abruptly, or, my favorite, don't respond to me at all. I haven't closed a deal in years. I save a lot of money that way. 🙂

Hi guys, I'm Alex_Twink. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I should write this or not because I didn't know whether to give this more attention or just let it go. This man has been insisting a lot about whether l'll be able to cum during our session together. He kept asking me about it several times, even going as far as asking when the last time I would cum before seeing him would be. I don't like feeling pressured, and that's why the night before we were supposed to meet, when he wrote to me again and asked about the same thing (whether | would finish), I told him it was better not to meet at all. I explained that I felt pressured and uncomfortable. I also didn't want to risk not meeting his expectations or having him feel like he was wasting his money if I didn't finish. So yes, 1 told him it was best to cancel our date for both of our sake.

How is it I nearly missed a chance to post a bunch of ass shots?? I must be slowing down. Keeping these PG13. I guess…

I’ve been helping a guy like this the past year. He basically couch surfs. I got him hooked up with some social services, some dental work, he’s currently sober. Not a project I would take on again…

Your synopsis suggests you already know your best option is to engage a more compatible provider.