Are you into Exploration or Regularity?

[DMonDude]

Definitely has always been a mix of the two since the start for me. One of my regulars likes group play, so we try new guys together a lot. Two birds one stone. But at my peak hiring era; i had local regulars i'd see a lot, traveling regulars i would see every time they were in town, and then also would try new guys.

[soloyo215]

On 4/24/2026 at 7:12 AM, PhileasFogg said:

This is a point of curiosity with no right or wrong answer.

But, given the choice, would you choose visiting with a small number of providers frequently or a large number of providers just once and move on to the next?

As I started exploring my sexuality with men over the last two to three years, I found that I preferred the exploration always looking for a new provider in town.  But now I prefer the familiarity of a small number of guys I see often and I hardly ever look at RM anymore.  

My experience is that the "exploration" has never ceased, but it's not that I am necessarily looking for anything new, but rather respecting what my body and my psyche needs at a given moment. There are a number of things that I know I don't like or care for without trying them, but that aside, I like exploring, and sometimes, the exploring involves a new provider, sometimes it involves a different practice, setup, approach or place.

At the same time, I do have my regular providers who I trust and like seeing for different reasons, from a simple, guaranteed high-quality massage, to whatever that is not a massage. As I grow older, I also notice that certain things that used to fascinate me no longer do, as some become repetitive, and some, I just lost interest in.

I see this as not a straight line, but as part of experiencing life. One of the principles that I learned to establish is to really listen to my body and to think with the upper head first.

The familiarity of the guys I see regularly sometimes takes the back seat, especially when I travel to new places. It's not an "either/or" thing for me.

[Wings246]

I'd like to turn this dichotomous question into a multiple choice one, and my answer is: both of the above.  I love to try new restaurants but also keep my comfort food within reach.   😜

[Rudynate]

I used to like a lot of variety. But I have moved toward having a circle of guys I know and like.  My relationship with each of them is easy and friendly and just really pleasurable.

[harlow]

I definitely prefer a small regular pool as I think each encounter gets better with each meeting.  However, I may try someone new if I'm interested.  I travel a lot so I usually like to see the same provider whenever I'm in a particular city.  I even keep up with the travel schedules of the guys I see regularly and sometimes we just happen to be in the same city.

[+ RyanDean]

For a long time, I was most interested in sampling the broad array of pleasures and almost made a point of never hiring the same gent twice. Coming out of the pandemic, that began to shift as I discovered one gent who I couldn't get enough of... In the last couple years, I keep trying to sample, but haven't had much luck (lots of ghosting/roads-to-nowhere and some mixed results). Perhaps as a result am more inclined to hire gents with whom I have some fondness/chemistry and with whom I know the pieces fit nicely...

[Wings246]

On 5/16/2026 at 4:58 AM, RyanDean said:

For a long time, I was most interested in sampling the broad array of pleasures and almost made a point of never hiring the same gent twice. Coming out of the pandemic, that began to shift as I discovered one gent who I couldn't get enough of... In the last couple years, I keep trying to sample, but haven't had much luck (lots of ghosting/roads-to-nowhere and some mixed results). Perhaps as a result am more inclined to hire gents with whom I have some fondness/chemistry and with whom I know the pieces fit nicely...

This reminds me of the strategy of dining in a buffet.  You initially have taste tests of the items that look appetizing during your first few rounds.  Once you zero in on your favorites, you'll keep going back for a second, third, fourth, and nth round.

[+ nycman]

Both.

But given the availability of both in the same city, I will usually pick a regular.

After all, a bird in the hand……

[dbar123]

Lately I’ve been giving some of my regulars an expiration date. I’ve had instances where after about 5+ encounters they start taking me for granted and the experiences are kind of ordinary. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

6 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Lately I’ve been giving some of my regulars an expiration date. I’ve had instances where after about 5+ encounters they start taking me for granted and the experiences are kind of ordinary. 

That’s unfortunate.  I’m on a trip right now with three guys - each of whom I’ve had 5+ trips with (sometimes with two of them together - but this is the first with all three) and I’ve felt just the opposite - knowing each other’s preferences, we all seem to be trying harder to find and capitalize on the “sweet spots” - intellectually and physically.

[nomad]

It really depends on you and where the thrill is for you.  Some find the thrill in the hunt.  Others find the thrill of the known and removing the chance of a meh meeting.  First time meeting can be awkward as each party is trying to figure things out and what works or doesn't.  I find subsequent meetings to be more enjoyable because we are more more comfortable with each other.  When the connection is strong, it is a great feeling.  

[JayeMichigan]

I'm very new to hiring, so right now I'm in the sampling phase. But finding regulars and sticking with them sounds amazing, The exploration phase has far more misses than hits - and thats just for securing a hire.

[nomad]

This is not an inexpensive endeavor.  In time, you may find more satisfaction from known solid hires and the occasional dice roll on an unknown sampler.  Everyone rolls slightly differently depending on what else they have going on.  

[Johnnyroad]

I’m into regularity, for privacy reasons as well as avoidance of scams / entrapment/ legal problems.

If I do see a new guy, he’s unfortunately going to need to have at least 10 reviews on RM 😂. Just so I know I’m not walking into a legal trap .

[simongayx]

Exploration all the way.   I have never visited the same provider more than three times.   I love the thrill of the new guy and the new experience, particularly when he opens the door and you see that he is indeed "way better than the pictures."   

[MscleLovr]

This topic has brought back good memories. Regularity is key for me.

When I hired, I was all about finding very handsome muscleboys. They had to be affectionate and versatile in bed, and willing to bottom for me regularly. I preferred the familiar ease of a regular companion and sex got better - sometimes wilder, often more varied - with each date.

Generally, I saw one guy….but as both Mae West and Sophie Tucker advised, I always kept another man in reserve.
Sometimes a relationship would peter out or a guy might retire or move away. I would then recruit a replacement. In all, I was fortunate to date 8 such nice guys over the years. 

Years ago, I dated a remarkably handsome model who had a great body and was ready to do everything in bed. He was also very well educated and cultured.
He gave me an insight on this topic.
We’d gone on vacation to Barcelona together, after first having several passionate overnight dates). Over dinner one night, he expressed how happy he was to have me as a regular client. I was a little surprised (I was then aged 50 and fit) and said I’d assumed many men would desire him.
He agreed and said he’d started out hoping to have a few regular clients…but I was his only one. He told me he’d seen many men but they only hired him once, no matter how good his performance was. His conclusion was that most clients want novelty and to explore. 

On returning home, while the model was abroad for work, I saw my reserve guy. He too had a superb physique and I related to him the conversation I’d had in Barcelona.
It really resonated with him - he had exactly the same experience; he told me I was 1 of his 2 regulars while every other client was ‘one time only’.