Are you into Exploration or Regularity?

[DMonDude]

Definitely has always been a mix of the two since the start for me. One of my regulars likes group play, so we try new guys together a lot. Two birds one stone. But at my peak hiring era; i had local regulars i'd see a lot, traveling regulars i would see every time they were in town, and then also would try new guys.

[soloyo215]

On 4/24/2026 at 7:12 AM, PhileasFogg said:

This is a point of curiosity with no right or wrong answer.

But, given the choice, would you choose visiting with a small number of providers frequently or a large number of providers just once and move on to the next?

As I started exploring my sexuality with men over the last two to three years, I found that I preferred the exploration always looking for a new provider in town.  But now I prefer the familiarity of a small number of guys I see often and I hardly ever look at RM anymore.  

My experience is that the "exploration" has never ceased, but it's not that I am necessarily looking for anything new, but rather respecting what my body and my psyche needs at a given moment. There are a number of things that I know I don't like or care for without trying them, but that aside, I like exploring, and sometimes, the exploring involves a new provider, sometimes it involves a different practice, setup, approach or place.

At the same time, I do have my regular providers who I trust and like seeing for different reasons, from a simple, guaranteed high-quality massage, to whatever that is not a massage. As I grow older, I also notice that certain things that used to fascinate me no longer do, as some become repetitive, and some, I just lost interest in.

I see this as not a straight line, but as part of experiencing life. One of the principles that I learned to establish is to really listen to my body and to think with the upper head first.

The familiarity of the guys I see regularly sometimes takes the back seat, especially when I travel to new places. It's not an "either/or" thing for me.

[Wings246]

I'd like to turn this dichotomous question into a multiple choice one, and my answer is: both of the above.  I love to try new restaurants but also keep my comfort food within reach.   😜

[Rudynate]

I used to like a lot of variety. But I have moved toward having a circle of guys I know and like.  My relationship with each of them is easy and friendly and just really pleasurable.

[harlow]

I definitely prefer a small regular pool as I think each encounter gets better with each meeting.  However, I may try someone new if I'm interested.  I travel a lot so I usually like to see the same provider whenever I'm in a particular city.  I even keep up with the travel schedules of the guys I see regularly and sometimes we just happen to be in the same city.

[+ RyanDean]

For a long time, I was most interested in sampling the broad array of pleasures and almost made a point of never hiring the same gent twice. Coming out of the pandemic, that began to shift as I discovered one gent who I couldn't get enough of... In the last couple years, I keep trying to sample, but haven't had much luck (lots of ghosting/roads-to-nowhere and some mixed results). Perhaps as a result am more inclined to hire gents with whom I have some fondness/chemistry and with whom I know the pieces fit nicely...

[Wings246]

On 5/16/2026 at 4:58 AM, RyanDean said:

For a long time, I was most interested in sampling the broad array of pleasures and almost made a point of never hiring the same gent twice. Coming out of the pandemic, that began to shift as I discovered one gent who I couldn't get enough of... In the last couple years, I keep trying to sample, but haven't had much luck (lots of ghosting/roads-to-nowhere and some mixed results). Perhaps as a result am more inclined to hire gents with whom I have some fondness/chemistry and with whom I know the pieces fit nicely...

This reminds me of the strategy of dining in a buffet.  You initially have taste tests of the items that look appetizing during your first few rounds.  Once you zero in on your favorites, you'll keep going back for a second, third, fourth, and nth round.

[+ nycman]

Both.

But given the availability of both in the same city, I will usually pick a regular.

After all, a bird in the hand……

[dbar123]

Lately I’ve been giving some of my regulars an expiration date. I’ve had instances where after about 5+ encounters they start taking me for granted and the experiences are kind of ordinary. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

6 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Lately I’ve been giving some of my regulars an expiration date. I’ve had instances where after about 5+ encounters they start taking me for granted and the experiences are kind of ordinary. 

That’s unfortunate.  I’m on a trip right now with three guys - each of whom I’ve had 5+ trips with (sometimes with two of them together - but this is the first with all three) and I’ve felt just the opposite - knowing each other’s preferences, we all seem to be trying harder to find and capitalize on the “sweet spots” - intellectually and physically.

[nomad]

It really depends on you and where the thrill is for you.  Some find the thrill in the hunt.  Others find the thrill of the known and removing the chance of a meh meeting.  First time meeting can be awkward as each party is trying to figure things out and what works or doesn't.  I find subsequent meetings to be more enjoyable because we are more more comfortable with each other.  When the connection is strong, it is a great feeling.  

[JayeMichigan]

I'm very new to hiring, so right now I'm in the sampling phase. But finding regulars and sticking with them sounds amazing, The exploration phase has far more misses than hits - and thats just for securing a hire.