Providers also on Hookup Apps

[Jack Vernon]

What's y'alls opinions on providers who are on the hookup apps while also actively seeking masseur appointments? 

I contacted a provider today to make an appointment who was prompt and professional in his response.  I was close to booking him when I noticed he had a scruff profile with exactly the same photos as his masseur profile.  But his Scruff profile followed the whole no fats/femmes/etc pattern that I find kinda gross.   Now that I've seen that Scruff profile I'd never hire him.  

Curious about others reactions to similar situations. 

 

[56harrisond]

Related discussions 

 

[Mark_fl]

I see both sides of this.  Providers have every right to have preferences in the personal interactions. 

However, posting as he did ruins the illusion that he doesn't find some of his clients repulsive to him. I'm with you in that if he posted "no hairy guys" I would never hire him, knowing it wouldn't be something he was really into, even if his Rm ad said otherwise.

It's his risk to take though. If he loses some business,  so be it.

[acks0104]

I don't agree with people being assholes in the way they describe their "preferences" in dating or hookup profiles, but having a profile itself is fine. Escorting is a job. Dating and hooking up are different than seeing clients via RM. 

[+ Jamie21]

It’s all part of your due diligence. Sensible to do that before deciding to hire. It’s his problem given that it’s caused him to lose business but perhaps he’s not bothered about that risk. Some masseurs actively or passively deter clients who they’re not especially attracted to. Those masseurs aren’t really proper masseurs; they’re just monetising their hookups. You’re best to avoid that type of masseur. The good guys don’t care what you look like (as long as you have no contra indications for massage).  
 

[soloyo215]

14 hours ago, Jack Vernon said:

What's y'alls opinions on providers who are on the hookup apps while also actively seeking masseur appointments? 

I contacted a provider today to make an appointment who was prompt and professional in his response.  I was close to booking him when I noticed he had a scruff profile with exactly the same photos as his masseur profile.  But his Scruff profile followed the whole no fats/femmes/etc pattern that I find kinda gross.   Now that I've seen that Scruff profile I'd never hire him.  

Curious about others reactions to similar situations. 

 

I'd just move on to another provider.

Some people don't seem to realize how they come across when they make those stupid lists about " no this, no that". There are definitely better ways of stating your preferences. That tells more about what to expect of them, especially when socializing. I don't see that changing any time soon, so I don;t waste my time with that kind of people.

[theplayerking]

On 4/17/2026 at 7:23 PM, Jack Vernon said:

What's y'alls opinions on providers who are on the hookup apps while also actively seeking masseur appointments? 

I contacted a provider today to make an appointment who was prompt and professional in his response.  I was close to booking him when I noticed he had a scruff profile with exactly the same photos as his masseur profile.  But his Scruff profile followed the whole no fats/femmes/etc pattern that I find kinda gross.   Now that I've seen that Scruff profile I'd never hire him.  

Curious about others reactions to similar situations. 

 

On the other hand, all providers engage in transactions with clients that they wouldn’t hook up with for free. He’s crass and obnoxious by being exclusionary on an app (and probably turning off guys that he would want to hookup with for free with his attitude), but not unusual. 

[+ JamesB]

On 4/17/2026 at 6:23 PM, Jack Vernon said:

What's y'alls opinions on providers who are on the hookup apps while also actively seeking masseur appointments? 

I contacted a provider today to make an appointment who was prompt and professional in his response.  I was close to booking him when I noticed he had a scruff profile with exactly the same photos as his masseur profile.  But his Scruff profile followed the whole no fats/femmes/etc pattern that I find kinda gross.   Now that I've seen that Scruff profile I'd never hire him.  

Curious about others reactions to similar situations. 

 

Why does it matter? Providers have personal lives and are entitled to their own preferences when it comes to who they spend time with outside of paid work. Whether that’s a smart business decision is up to them. From a client’s perspective, what really matters is how they perform when you hire them.

If anything, it might be worth asking why it feels important to you. Does it affect your ego to know they wouldn’t choose you to hook up for free?

Edited Tuesday at 02:25 AM by JamesB

[+ ApexNomad]

15 hours ago, JamesB said:

Why does it matter? Providers have personal lives and are entitled to their own preferences when it comes to who they spend time with outside of paid work. Whether that’s a smart business decision is up to them. From a client’s perspective, what really matters is how they perform when you hire them.

If anything, it might be worth asking why it feels important to you. Does it affect your ego to know they wouldn’t choose you to hook up for free?

I agree that providers are entitled to their own preferences. But I don’t think this is about ego. For a lot of people, part of what they’re paying for is the feeling of being genuinely wanted, even if that’s part of the job for the provider. If something breaks that illusion, I think it’s reasonable for clients to factor that into their decision.

[DMonDude]

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

I agree that providers are entitled to their own preferences. But I don’t think this is about ego. For a lot of people, part of what they’re paying for is the feeling of being genuinely wanted, even if that’s part of the job for the provider. If something breaks that illusion, I think it’s reasonable for clients to factor that into their decision.

They aren't saying it shouldn't factor into the hiring decision (it does and should and OP was totally fine to not be interested in hiring after seeing that and i'd have done the same). They're saying why does OP feel anything about it beyond that? OP was bothered/offended enough by it that they felt the need to make a post here about it instead of just deciding not to hire and moving on. That's where OPs ego/hurt feelings come in and it's something OP definitely should internally reflect on. It's about OPs ability to handle the illusion being shattered and that lingering with them beyond deciding to not hire that provider anymore. If OP actually has a healthy relationship with engaging with the fantasy and illusion, seeing behind the curtain shouldn't still stick with them this much after the initial "oh ok i'm no longer interested".

Edited Tuesday at 08:07 PM by DMonDude

[+ ApexNomad]

21 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

They aren't saying it shouldn't factor into the hiring decision (it does and should and OP was totally fine to not be interested in hiring after seeing that and i'd have done the same). They're saying why does OP feel anything about it beyond that? OP was bothered/offended enough by it that they felt the need to make a post here about it instead of just deciding not to hire and moving on. That's where OPs ego/hurt feelings come in and it's something OP definitely should internally reflect on. It's about OPs ability to handle the illusion being shattered and that lingering with them beyond deciding to not hire that provider anymore. If OP actually has a healthy relationship with engaging with the fantasy and illusion, seeing behind the curtain shouldn't still stick with them this much after the initial "oh ok i'm no longer interested".

I think that’s reading too much into it. Noticing something and wanting to hear others’ opinions, in a forum, doesn’t automatically mean someone’s ego is bruised, that’s just discussion.

In this case, the OP saw something that didn’t sit right with them and it changed how they felt about hiring. As I mentioned, part of what people are paying for is an experience that feels at least somewhat genuine. If something breaks that illusion or highlights a disconnect in how someone presents themselves, it’s completely reasonable for that to affect your interest.

The OP noticed it, chose not to book, and made one post about it asking for other opinions. I don’t see anything here that suggests he’s rocking himself to sleep crying in a corner in the fetal position. 

[DMonDude]

40 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

I think that’s reading too much into it. Noticing something and wanting to hear others’ opinions, in a forum, doesn’t automatically mean someone’s ego is bruised, that’s just discussion.

In this case, the OP saw something that didn’t sit right with them and it changed how they felt about hiring. As I mentioned, part of what people are paying for is an experience that feels at least somewhat genuine. If something breaks that illusion or highlights a disconnect in how someone presents themselves, it’s completely reasonable for that to affect your interest.

The OP noticed it, chose not to book, and made one post about it asking for other opinions. I don’t see anything here that suggests he’s rocking himself to sleep crying in a corner in the fetal position. 

I think you're maybe overlooking it. Again, i didn't say OP was wrong to not hire the guy. I wouldn't have either, their interest in hiring being affected is indeed reasonable, but that's not what the person you replied to or myself are talking about. What i am saying is that after choosing not to hire the provider, i would have immediately moved on after that and not thought about it anymore and i wouldn't have made a post about it. It's not important enough to require any other thought, consideration, nor need any other opinion/validation from others here unless one is taking it somewhat personally and they want validation in that. There's not much other opinion to have on what OP saw and their decision not to hire because of it other than "yeah i wouldn't have either". So that's why some are then asking the question what is it OP is hoping to hear from us about this, if they aren't ruminating on it more than they should be? The question of why did this stick with OP enough to need to post about it is also reasonable. If you don't see that, i think you're only seeing this on the most very surface level.

Edited Tuesday at 09:11 PM by DMonDude

[+ ApexNomad]

16 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

I think you're maybe overlooking it. Again, i didn't say OP was wrong to not hire the guy. I wouldn't have either, their interest in hiring being affected is indeed reasonable, but that's not what the person you replied to or myself are talking about. What i am saying is that after choosing not to hire the provider, i would have immediately moved on after that and not thought about it anymore and i wouldn't have made a post about it. It's not important enough to require any other thought, consideration, nor need any other opinion/validation from others here unless one is taking it somewhat personally and they want validation in that. There's not much other opinion to have on what OP saw and their decision not to hire because of it other than "yeah i wouldn't have either". So that's why some are then asking the question what is it OP is hoping to hear from us about this, if they aren't ruminating on it more than they should be? The question of why did this stick with OP enough to need to post about it is also reasonable. If you don't see that, i think you're only seeing this on the most very surface level.

I get what you’re saying, I just don’t agree with the premise. Not everything that sticks in someone’s mind long enough to post about has to come from ego or hurt feelings. 

Sometimes people just find something interesting, nuanced, or worth discussing and want to hear other perspectives. 

To me, this isn’t just a binary “would you hire or not,” it’s about the disconnect between how someone presents professionally versus personally, and how that affects perception and the overall experience. That’s a more layered question than just “yeah I wouldn’t have either.”

Making ONE post about it doesn’t strike me as rumination or hurt feelings or bruised ego. It reads to me like someone who noticed something, made a decision, and was curious how others interpret the same situation.

[DMonDude]

10 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

I get what you’re saying, I just don’t agree with the premise. Not everything that sticks in someone’s mind long enough to post about has to come from ego or hurt feelings. 

Sometimes people just find something interesting, nuanced, or worth discussing and want to hear other perspectives. 

To me, this isn’t just a binary “would you hire or not,” it’s about the disconnect between how someone presents professionally versus personally, and how that affects perception and the overall experience. That’s a more layered question than just “yeah I wouldn’t have either.”

Making ONE post about it doesn’t strike me as rumination or hurt feelings or bruised ego. It reads to me like someone who noticed something, made a decision, and was curious how others interpret the same situation.

Yeah, so you agree, this is nuanced and layered which means there is stuff to read into and process (which you said there isn't in your prior reply). And that includes why is it affecting OP and why did seeing what they saw stick with them. Not sure why you somehow see all this nuance and layers but don't see that specific one. Part of how people interpret the situation has to do with how affected they are by confronting the fact that the performance a provider puts on is just that, a character and performance. And how they handle seeing the provider out of character. There have been many posts here on this forum about people who struggle with that and get emotionally attached to providers specifically because not everyone can easily keep their feelings separated from the reality. Which is why people are bringing it up. It really shouldn't be difficult for you to acknowledge that that may be part of what's at play here. We're bringing it up as a point of concern for the OP, ignoring that doesn't help them.

Edited Tuesday at 09:45 PM by DMonDude

[+ ApexNomad]

50 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

Yeah, so you agree, this is nuanced and layered which means there is stuff to read into and process (which you said there isn't in your prior reply). And that includes why is it affecting OP and why did seeing what they saw stick with them. Not sure why you somehow see all this nuance and layers but don't see that specific one. Part of how people interpret the situation has to do with how affected they are by confronting the fact that the performance a provider puts on is just that, a character and performance. And how they handle seeing the provider out of character. There have been many posts here on this forum about people who struggle with that and get emotionally attached to providers specifically because not everyone can easily keep their feelings separated from the reality. Which is why people are bringing it up. It really shouldn't be difficult for you to acknowledge that that may be part of what's at play here. We're bringing it up as a point of concern for the OP, ignoring that doesn't help them.

Are you actually raising this as a point of concern on behalf of the OP? Because if that’s the concern…wow. That feels like a lot of faux psychoanalyzing based on something the OP never even said.

You’re projecting a specific emotional explanation onto a pretty straightforward situation. I’m not saying that dynamic never exists. I’m saying there’s nothing here that points to it. He made one post. One! Asked others if they encountered something similar. He never said he was hurt. Never said this brought up painful memories from the past. Nothing! He said it was gross. And decided therefore not to hire. 

What’s nuanced to me is how a provider presents one image personally and another professionally, and how that contrast can influence a client’s decision to hire. And also how a provider can carry that out despite the difference. That to me is interesting. What’s not interesting is assuming from ONE post with no evidence that the OP has a fragile and bruised ego and should look inward. That’s not concern.

At this point, I’ll let the OP speak for himself. There’s no need to assign motives that aren’t there.

[LookingAround]

On 4/17/2026 at 7:23 PM, Jack Vernon said:

What's y'alls opinions on providers who are on the hookup apps while also actively seeking masseur appointments? 

I contacted a provider today to make an appointment who was prompt and professional in his response.  I was close to booking him when I noticed he had a scruff profile with exactly the same photos as his masseur profile.  But his Scruff profile followed the whole no fats/femmes/etc pattern that I find kinda gross.   Now that I've seen that Scruff profile I'd never hire him.  

Curious about others reactions to similar situations. 

 

The naïveté and narcissism in this post is all consuming. Providers aren't supposed to have personal preferences? They aren't entitled to their own likes and dislikes in their personal life. Give me a break. The magical thinking and entitlement in this post is astounding and frankly nauseating. 

[+ FrankR]

17 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

The naïveté and narcissism in this post is all consuming. Providers aren't supposed to have personal preferences? They aren't entitled to their own likes and dislikes in their personal life. Give me a break. The magical thinking and entitlement in this post is astounding and frankly nauseating. 

Okay buddy - get off your high horse before you fall off and hurt yourself.  The OP provided his opinion and asked for other opinions. The OP did not suggest we set the provider on fire nor that we tar and feather him. Tone down the drama - no need for “astounded and frankly nauseating” here.  

[LookingAround]

13 minutes ago, FrankR said:

Okay buddy - get off your high horse before you fall off and hurt yourself.  The OP provided his opinion and asked for other opinions. The OP did not suggest we set the provider on fire nor that we tar and feather him. Tone down the drama - no need for “astounded and frankly nauseating” here.  

Because the guy has preferences on Scruff he's decided not to hire him? That's a deal breaker? Please. I call that narcissism and entitled. And delusional. 

[+ Jamie21]

Clients: providers are allowed to have preferences that they want to keep for their non work encounters. They can use hookup apps and express those preferences in any way they like on the app (fully aware that potential clients might see that and make decisions on hiring). This should be non controversial. I’m on apps and I selectively respond to certain guys that I like and I state my preferences. It’s not my work and shouldn’t be conflated with that.

But I’m ALSO able to see any client (well…almost any client!) and make them feel like  I really want to be there even if it wasn’t a financial transaction.

If you think that me stating preferences for non work meetings impacts my ability to see any client in a work transaction setting then you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of doing this kind of work. I guess that’s understandable because most clients simply couldn’t do the work and they view the issue from that perspective. But…that’s what makes a provider a provider: the ability to see anyone. Guys who know how that ability works (other providers) will know that physical characteristics aren’t the relevant factors.