Do you pay before or after?

[Guest]

Especially if you are booking for several hours or overnight with a new provider from rent.men or whatever.

 

Generally, I've always paid after and I always do outcalls. It is a form of self-preservation/safety precaution. Some providers insist on payment upfront and I find that this is a problem. I know myself that I would never cheat another of their earnings, but I've been had before. 

One incident involved a provider who cum earlier than me and left before the hour was up (15-20 mins before).

I usually follow this policy with younger or newbie providers and not professionals/well known.

Am the I asshole here? What do you normally do if you are suspicious?

[+ Jamie21]

No you’re not. Don’t pay up front. Decent guys won’t expect payment up front. It starts the session off on an awkward footing. I much prefer to have the client pay afterwards. Occasionally a client will give me an envelope beforehand or put the cash ‘on the side’ visibly before we start. I try and disregard it because I want to make it seem as less like a transaction as possible. Only twice have I had a problem where they ‘didn’t have the money’🙄.

First one was because his card didn’t work (I have a card reader) and I guess that could be understandable. There was no other alternative so I rather foolishly left without payment but with a promise he’d send via PayPal when he was back home (the guy was from China). To my surprise, and let’s be honest to my shame because I’d 90% written it off, he sent the money a couple of weeks later! Absolutely restored my faith in human nature that did. 
The other time I walked the client to the cash point….very closely. No one has ever wanted a post session discount. 

I am careful about the kind of clients I’ll accept so maybe that reduces the chance of someone refusing to pay. If he insists on payment up front it’s more likely he’s seeing the kind of client who tries things on with him. Do you want to risk hiring that kind of guy? 
 

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Felange said:

Especially if you are booking for several hours or overnight with a new provider from rent.men or whatever.

 

 

Some escorts might require a booking fee to free up so much space for an overnight or a long appointment. 

 

1 hour ago, Felange said:

One incident involved a provider who cum earlier than me and left before the hour was up (15-20 mins before).

 

Very unprofessional of him. He should have cuddled with you until the hour was up. 

Back to subject:

Always after!

There are some escorts that late at night or if there's evidence of PNP might understandably ask payment upfront.  Obviously, those circumstances wouldn't apply to anyone dealing with you. 

 

[jmichaeliii]

After.  I just met a newer provider recently and he asked for payment when we met in the hotel room.

I politely explained that was a no for me and he should have mentioned it upfront.  He relented and we had a good time and I paid him with a tip.  I explained to him that requesting that is a turn off right away, but it turned out Ok because he accepted the advice and was nice about it.  I also explained if I pay up front... you are not getting a tip as I don't do two transactions.  Just my thing.

I have seen him two more times since and we have had fun times and all is good.  I actually think he appreciated the insight and advice.

[+ JamesB]

Never pay up front. Never pay a deposit.

[jmichaeliii]

7 minutes ago, JamesB said:

Never pay up front. Never pay a deposit.

I admit I have broken the deposit rule a few times.  When I travel to CA for work, anyone I want to hire has to drive at least an hour to me and they typically ask for $50-$75 upfront to cover gas.  If the interaction is professional I am Ok and have done it without issue to this point.  But I do hear your point.

[+ Pensant]

Of the hundreds I’ve met over the years, maybe one asked for the money upfront and thus missed out on becoming a frequent visitor. He mustn’t have been that hot since I can barely remember 20 years ago! I always leave the cash visible on a table, as others do. Regulars are paid online.

[Decatur Guy]

I make an exchange after but I show them envelop at the start. I mostly meet with regulars, so it's no issue. 

[56harrisond]

I'll give the agreed upon rate before. And give a tip after. I do notice if the provider counts the cash when I give it to him or if he leaves it alone.

Once a provider miscounted the cash when I gave it him, and recounted three times until he counted it correctly.

[soloyo215]

13 hours ago, Felange said:

Especially if you are booking for several hours or overnight with a new provider from rent.men or whatever.

 

Generally, I've always paid after and I always do outcalls. It is a form of self-preservation/safety precaution. Some providers insist on payment upfront and I find that this is a problem. I know myself that I would never cheat another of their earnings, but I've been had before. 

One incident involved a provider who cum earlier than me and left before the hour was up (15-20 mins before).

I usually follow this policy with younger or newbie providers and not professionals/well known.

Am the I asshole here? What do you normally do if you are suspicious?

Ensuring that you're not getting ripped off is not being an asshole. That said, I've found no specific best rule or best practice. Any action around how payment goes always carry a risk, IMO. So far it's been only one person who asked for cash upfront that turned out to be a terrible experience. I was new to this whole hiring thing and didn't know better. Asking for cash upfront was not the red flag, or at least not the biggest. The subject of cash upfront has rarely come up, in my experience. When it does I've stated that I prefer to pay after and the provider had agreed. Can't comment on overnight or weekend-long services.

[SirBillybob]

Yes.

[liubit]

I pay after the deed, but I always place the cash on a visible spot (table, desk, nightstand) for him to see when entering the room. 

[+ Just Chuck]

30 minutes ago, liubit said:

I pay after the deed, but I always place the cash on a visible spot (table, desk, nightstand) for him to see when entering the room. 

I usually do the same.  I'll have the cash out and visible but deep into the room and not near an exit door.  I'll point out that it's there, but ask them not to touch it until the end.  One provider wanted to count it up front and I agreed so long as they took off their shoes first.

[Nightowl]

After.  No one has yet asked for the money up front so I haven’t had to deal with that but I would be suspicious if they had.  Depending on the provider, I either hand it to them or leave it on a table after we get dressed.

[PileDriver]

the assignations where I pay after are usually the better assignations...money up front usually means they are a time watcher or are about to just go through the motions like a robot or didn't show up horned for sex..etc. There have been some exceptions. The best are so easy that money is treated as an aftermath...my massage therapists come to mind...

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

The only times I pay "before" are at a vending machine, ticket booth, or travel agent.

[BrooklynIrish]

Generally I pay after and do it electronically. I paid someone at the start in Greece recently, thinking maybe that was the norm. He was fine but not great and kind of pricey. The other guy I hired who did not ask for money upfront was amazing. Lesson learned. 

[sky]

I always pay after.  Additionally I require that the escort is the first to be nude.  When they arrive we may talk a little and then I start helping undress them.  First I want to make sure they are what I hired and second once they are undressed and their clothing is to the side it's harder for them to leave at that point.  It's also nice to have a nude boy sucking me while I stand there almost fully dressed and to be able to play with their body.  I want the escort to know if they are going to be paid they need to provide me with what I want.

[Constantine]

I like to pay after but the Brazilians always ask for payment up front. I don't mind.

[Muscleking]

Generally I pay after but I’ve had a few times I’ve hired guys and they asked to be paid upfront and I have no issue with it as I understand mutual trust needs to be on both sides.
 

I only give deposits for guys that are heavily reviewed and or if I get a good vibe from the initial communication. 

[mtaabq]

When the provider comes to me I was instructed, years ago, to ensure that the fee was in plain sight when the provider entered the room. This has been successful for me; I’ve never had a provider take his fee until he was on his way out the door. (I suppose in that regard I’ve been lucky.) Recently, a provider entered my hotel room, kissed me, and said, “We need to take care of business first.” At that point I gestured towards the fee, and shortly thereafter the provider was naked. In my roughly 15 years of hiring he was the first to broach payment at the beginning of the session. With massage or other incall I place the fee in plain sight before I get undressed. Again, it’s been my experience that the provider does not touch the fee until the session is over. I have sent modest deposits to men I have met previously, usually for gas money. I will not send a deposit to someone I’ve never met; I did that once and, predictably, got burned. 

[+ JamesB]

40 minutes ago, Quincy_7 said:

I like to pay after but the Brazilians always ask for payment up front. I don't mind.

Maybe this is a location specific issue, because that hasn’t been my experience with Brazilians. The only time I was asked to pay in advance was by a provider from Colombia. Since that wasn’t mentioned during the appointment setup, I simply turned around and left.

[Constantine]

1 minute ago, JamesB said:

Maybe this is a location specific issue, because that hasn’t been my experience with Brazilians. The only time I was asked to pay in advance was by a provider from Colombia. Since that wasn’t mentioned during the appointment setup, I simply turned around and left.

I haven't been to Brazil. I've just met a lot of them on my trips to London.

[+ JamesB]

7 minutes ago, Quincy_7 said:

I haven't been to Brazil. I've just met a lot of them on my trips to London.

Ohh got it, thanks for clarifying. I’ve never hired in London, so maybe that’s just how things work there. Thank you for the heads-up; I’ll need to keep it in mind if I ever look to hire in London, especially since Brazilians are among my top choices.

[Muscleking]

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

Maybe this is a location specific issue, because that hasn’t been my experience with Brazilians. The only time I was asked to pay in advance was by a provider from Colombia. Since that wasn’t mentioned during the appointment setup, I simply turned around and left.

Out of curiosity, if you were already there and intended to pay no matter what, then what is difference to have to pay up front or after ?