Providers requesting a pic - safety precaution or otherwise?

[viewing ownly]

Perhaps it depends on whether it's a masseur or an escort that's doing the asking. I feel that ghosting someone is rude, but it's so fucking commonplace with communication, perhaps I need to start excommunicating someone when I'm asked to send a picture, instead of complying, then getting rejected.

I'm not at all attractive, which is why I'm doing the donating! I'm not implying that every single solitary time I send a picture, a meet-up doesn't transpire, but it is getting more and more common for me to send a photo of myself when I'm asked, and not get a reply back at all, which is what happened to me today. I saw a guy advertising who rocked my world, and had similar sexual interests. Communication was fine, up until I sent a photo, and then, nothing. I reached out a couple of hours later, and now I must chalk it up that he has a visual scale that I fail, so better to be rejected ahead of time then on the day of. 

[+ ApexNomad]

33 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

Perhaps it depends on whether it's a masseur or an escort that's doing the asking. I feel that ghosting someone is rude, but it's so fucking commonplace with communication, perhaps I need to start excommunicating someone when I'm asked to send a picture, instead of complying, then getting rejected.

I'm not at all attractive, which is why I'm doing the donating! I'm not implying that every single solitary time I send a picture, a meet-up doesn't transpire, but it is getting more and more common for me to send a photo of myself when I'm asked, and not get a reply back at all, which is what happened to me today. I saw a guy advertising who rocked my world, and had similar sexual interests. Communication was fine, up until I sent a photo, and then, nothing. I reached out a couple of hours later, and now I must chalk it up that he has a visual scale that I fail, so better to be rejected ahead of time then on the day of. 

I’m really sorry you were ghosted — that’s a shitty, disheartening feeling, no matter how common it’s become. But you’re right: better to know now than to show up and either be turned away or go through with something where the provider’s clearly not present or engaged. That kind of disconnection isn’t worth anyone’s time — especially not yours, or your money. 

[pubic_assistance]

41 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

I'm not at all attractive, which is why I'm doing the donating!

Maybe you need better photos.

Most escorts arent expecting George Clooney to be texting them. 

 

[viewing ownly]

38 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Maybe you need better photos.

Most escorts arent expecting George Clooney to be texting them. 

 

My photos are accurate and suit the request. I don't need a touch-up artist unless someone is looking for me to seek their time. I'm not going to alter my very lazy eye - it looks as though it's trying to escape my face entirely, or airbrush out my lengthy earlobe hair. A severe turn-off for a great many? Clearly!

Plenty of people don't find George Clooney to be their attractive cup of tea, but he runs endless circles around me, even on a bad day for him (which hasn't happened, ha ha)!

[pubic_assistance]

31 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

airbrush out my lengthy earlobe hair. A severe turn-off for a great many? Clearly!

Well....even as we age, personal grooming is still something that helps take the edge off the 'ick' factor. The lazy eye can be fabulous if you make it your own. I Loved Marty Feldman.

[ShortCutie7]

Today was the first time I have ever been rejected by a provider in person due to my appearance (at least I assume that was the reason)… it was frankly quite humiliating and I would have rather been screened out in advance.

[Nightowl]

I’ve read the original post several times, left CoM for a bit, then come back to read it again, all the while trying to figure out how to express how I am feeling about it. I’ve settled on “infuriating.” It infuriates me. It infuriates me that a provider can inflict hurt and humiliation on someone by rejecting them based on a photo. I hope guys who are rejected or ghosted based on appearance will identify these shalllow providers here on CoM so the rest of us can avoid them if we choose. 

 

 

[nate_sf]

14 minutes ago, Nightowl said:

I’ve read the original post several times, left CoM for a bit, then come back to read it again, all the while trying to figure out how to express how I am feeling about it. I’ve settled on “infuriating.” It infuriates me. It infuriates me that a provider can inflict hurt and humiliation on someone by rejecting them based on a photo. I hope guys who are rejected or ghosted based on appearance will identify these shalllow providers here on CoM so the rest of us can avoid them if we choose. 

 

 

I’m with you on this. What kind of asshole provider asks a client for a picture in the first place? I guess it’s more common than I’d thought, but seems really unprofessional. 

@viewing ownly I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve met you socially and you’re a nice looking guy. The ghosting says more about the provider than it does anything about you. 

[pubic_assistance]

10 minutes ago, nate_sf said:

What kind of asshole provider asks a client for a picture in the first place? 

Some people seem to have this strange assumption that every person who goes into the business has some sort of "code of ethics" that they must subscribe to.

There are plenty of young hot guys who think they can make a fast buck as an escort but they lack the most essential quality....and that is the ability to stay hard while performing sexual favors for someone you think is gross and unattractive. 

So they ask for photos to make sure the 'ick' factor is low enough that they can hold their nose and fuck your old fat ass.

There's more than a few of these...so I am surprised by the righteous indignation. Fucking people who you find otherwise unappealing is a true art. You should all think about that when tipping your next handsome young companion when he makes you feel dssirable.

[+ JamesB]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. That said, try to see it this way, you definitely dodged a bullet. It’s clear this was an unprofessional provider, so while it's completely valid to feel hurt or disappointed, you ultimately saved yourself time, money, and a potentially terrible in person experience.

[Boaxxx]

This is very unfortunate and as others have said I would rather know in advance then at the time of the appointment. I've never been asked to send a pic but in my opinion the provider is asking more out of compatibility rather than a safety precaution. And those that ghost clients or potential clients after receiving a photo should not be in the business. 

I usually do sent a pic or two after arrangements are made to meet and I provide my stats earlier on in the communication. As I have mention in other threads I send a pic or two more as a courtesy to the provided under the guise of "I know what you look like so it only seems fair that you know what I look like". Not saying right or wrong, it's just what I do. 

Consider yourself fortunate that you dodged a bullet.

[+ Jamie21]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Most escorts arent expecting George Clooney to be texting them. 

That’s a shame. I was kind of hoping…

[+ Jamie21]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

There are plenty of young hot guys who think they can make a fast buck as an escort but they lack the most essential quality....and that is the ability to stay hard while performing sexual favors for someone you think is gross and unattractive. 

Yep, loads of them. They’re not really escorts though if they can’t see anyone and make that person feel good. The ability to find something attractive in anyone is an essential requirement for the job. Those guys who select clients based on looks are just guys who are trying to monetise their sex life. Clients might as well go on Grindr and save their money. 

[+ Just Chuck]

I imagine there’s a percentage of barely-semi-pro escorts who just do it as a paying hobby and are pickier about seeing clients. 

[d.anders]

14 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

I'm not at all attractive

If I truly saw myself this way, I would not respond to guys who asked for a photo.

14 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

better to be rejected ahead of time then on the day of

Absolutely.

13 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

I'm not going to alter my very lazy eye - it looks as though it's trying to escape my face entirely, or airbrush out my lengthy earlobe hair.

A good photo doesn't have to mean a fake photo. Facial grooming left unattended can be like encountering foreskin dripping in cheese. These are simple things to fix, if someone cares enough.

[soloyo215]

On 6/6/2025 at 7:08 PM, viewing ownly said:

Perhaps it depends on whether it's a masseur or an escort that's doing the asking. I feel that ghosting someone is rude, but it's so fucking commonplace with communication, perhaps I need to start excommunicating someone when I'm asked to send a picture, instead of complying, then getting rejected.

I'm not at all attractive, which is why I'm doing the donating! I'm not implying that every single solitary time I send a picture, a meet-up doesn't transpire, but it is getting more and more common for me to send a photo of myself when I'm asked, and not get a reply back at all, which is what happened to me today. I saw a guy advertising who rocked my world, and had similar sexual interests. Communication was fine, up until I sent a photo, and then, nothing. I reached out a couple of hours later, and now I must chalk it up that he has a visual scale that I fail, so better to be rejected ahead of time then on the day of. 

Out of curiosity, do those people who ghost you are of certain age range, on the younger side? I'm inquiring because I work close to people who do HR things (hiring, posting jobs, etc.) and it seems like ghosting people have become common by company HR people after conducting interviews with candidates, sometimes at the time when they are about to or promise that they will make an offer. I'm not an expert in that area, but what I hear is that the newer generation of hiring managers are incurring in similar practice that they do in social media.

And by the way, I've heard about that ghosting thing in hookup sites, in social media and even in private forums like this one. I have been ghosted, but I don't take it on me or my looks or anything about me. Some people are just jerks.

Regarding sending pictures, I have a couple of times, but normally I don't. Didn't get ghosted when I sent my pictures, and got ghosted in communication where I was never asked for one.

[+ PhileasFogg]

Maybe schedule a video call you the strength of your personality will win the day?

[SirBillybob]

I’d be more than eager to embrace the following tradeoff: an increased number of escorts that screen out based on client looks for an equivalent increased quantity of escorts I would screen in based on looks. 

[viewing ownly]

I don't find the ghosting after sending a picture to be a generational thing, although I tend to find the men who ask for a picture who DO go forward to see me are always older. The first instance I experienced this was with a guy my age at that time, early fifties, who was fucking me over by "testing the waters", and not even in the city he claimed to be in, so it wasn't surprising he is now out of the biz.

I've had people ask me to identify the guy I had this happen with which I felt compelled to share about. He's now making a very bad debut here (unless he's one of the infamous frequent name changers).

SmooothOP - Male Massage & Bodywork in Raleigh, NC | RentMasseur

WWW.RENTMASSEUR.COM

---

Gay Masseur SmooothOP in Raleigh, NC offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue.

 

 

[Moke]

I a good looking guy and I never send a photo when requested by providers.   I can’t remember it ever being a deal breaker for anyone?   If there was 1 or 2 I’d say good riddance.  But I’m pretty sure everyone has met me regardless. 

[Monarchy79]

On 6/6/2025 at 8:35 PM, viewing ownly said:

 or airbrush out my lengthy earlobe hair. A severe turn-off for a great many? Clearly!

 

Why not remove the long earlobe hair altogether? 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

I don't find the ghosting after sending a picture to be a generational thing, although I tend to find the men who ask for a picture who DO go forward to see me are always older. The first instance I experienced this was with a guy my age at that time, early fifties, who was fucking me over by "testing the waters", and not even in the city he claimed to be in, so it wasn't surprising he is now out of the biz.

I've had people ask me to identify the guy I had this happen with which I felt compelled to share about. He's now making a very bad debut here (unless he's one of the infamous frequent name changers).

SmooothOP - Male Massage & Bodywork in Raleigh, NC | RentMasseur

WWW.RENTMASSEUR.COM

---

Gay Masseur SmooothOP in Raleigh, NC offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue.

 

 

This dude’s entire ad is a turn-off.

Rejection may have been your blessing…. 

[SirBillybob]

8 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

Why not remove the long earlobe hair altogether? 

Trapped in a tower? 

[viewing ownly]

1 hour ago, SirBillybob said:

Trapped in a tower? 

"Trapped in earlobe hair tower" does look like a great chapter for my autobiography. 

[SirBillybob]

53 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

"Trapped in earlobe hair tower" does look like a great chapter for my autobiography. 

Rapunzelo, Rapunzelo, let down your earlobe hair.