Asking a provider’s political affiliation?

[Wings246]

1 hour ago, ApexNomad said:

I think there’s a meaningful difference between standing up for your beliefs and shutting someone out for who you think they are.

Totally agree.  Unfortunately, in today's world, decisions are often made based on impulsive feelings rather than rational analyses.  Isn't this largely the foundation of cancel culture (on both extremes of the spectrum)?  Like many have already mentioned above, an unfavorable political view may effectively cockblock (all puns intended) someone's fantasy.  It is understandable that people may not choose to engage in a business where the desirability of the total package is compromised.  Maybe political affiliation is an essential selection criterion for some, especially for those who value emotional interactions (instead of pure physical/sexual contacts).

[d.anders]

17 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

We are not permitted to discuss politics

I wonder what Larry Kramer would have thought about this.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, d.anders said:

I wonder what Larry Kramer would have thought about this.

Thats funny. Larry often flirted with me on Fire Island when I was young.. One day he just walked up and started talking to me. About politics ! 🤣

[+ nycman]

An escort’s ability to take a dick up his ass has nothing to do with his political affiliation. Since I hire for the former, I could give a rats ass about the latter. And while political "discussions" (of any variety or persuasion) during a hire will quickly lead to an escort getting my cock shoved down their throat for prolonged periods of time, angry throat fucking is not really a kink I enjoy.

Hope that answers the questions.

Edited May 5 by nycman

[+ Jamie21]

I know that at least two of my clients are politicians. Discretion prevents me from revealing their party or anything. However, I don’t mind what party they’re from. They don’t discuss politics with me and I don’t raise it with them. They come to escape all of that! 

[Luv2play]

29 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I know that at least two of my clients are politicians. Discretion prevents me from revealing their party or anything. However, I don’t mind what party they’re from. They don’t discuss politics with me and I don’t raise it with them. They come to escape all of that! 

Are they bottoms or tops? Just curious. Lol

[jeezifonly]

The provider agrees to pretend to find me attractive during the duration of our appointment, and if we’re already at that outrageous level of pretense, I see nothing to be gained from the unnecessary introduction of reality into the transaction. 

[PecLuvr]

I had a masseur say to me in the middle of giving me a massage, "So, I suppose you're gonna vote for Trump."  We had not been speaking politics at all. The masseur was a person of color, I'm white. So maybe he "assumed" something he shouldn't have....??? But I was thinking to myself that I have NO desire to think about or discuss political issues during a session. Why introduce a topic that could generate such tension during a session meant to be relaxing? Did not tip, and would not repeat. Because of the awkwardness. And also because the provider had put on around 20 pounds since his profile pics, and I'm not talking about 20 pounds of muscle. Just an overall kind of weird experience. 

[+ Jamie21]

9 hours ago, Luv2play said:

Are they bottoms or tops? Just curious. Lol

One is total bottom. The other I’m not sure about, I think he’s on an exploration. 

[+ Italiano]

Unfortunately we are now living a very particular divisive moment in our history. I have never had problems in the past in dealing with people (acquaintances, coworkers, relatives) who have a political "affiliation" different from mine, even if my closer friends of course always shared my views, but now it is a different story, the line is too thick and dense to ignore. To me agreeing with one particular Party today means too many things I am allergic to, and I am not able to just forget the affiliation. My choice.

There is a latino masseur in Tampa whom I saw in the past decade a few times and enjoyed him a lot, but I stopped seeing him when in 2020 he started sending me messages with scary conspiracy theories.

Another masseur in Tampa with glowing reviews and whom I wanted to see erased my interest when I read his posts on X.

I just can't.

 

I will never ask for the political affiliation of a potential provider, but if I find out it is opposite to mine I prefer t go somewhere else.

Edited May 5 by Italiano

[ICTJOCK]

So while I'm a very political person,  I do my best to keep any politics out of it.   Professionally it doesn't make sense to discuss politics and that extends to my escort work  on the side.    I don't need to know the political views of a client.     There are exceptions.    I have 2 regular clients that do talk politics and while I may join in,  the conversation is limited.    We have other things to discuss ..... and to do.

[Archangel]

We live in a world today where politics infuses everything (one of the reasons I don’t like that it’s a verboten topic here). If it seems appropriate to the course of the conversation, I see no reason not to ask. The fact that we think we shouldn’t is part of the political radicalization that infects our society. It’s not on my list of items to address when selecting a provider, but if I get a vibe that puts me off, I could see me asking.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I honestly have no idea why a provider would talk politics.

"Opinions are bad for business."

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I never ask a man's political affiliation.  Usually, he will expose it on his own through the course of conversation.  Party registration doesn't matter to me.  I can find things in common with a person of another party, provided he is intelligent.  If he begins spouting extreme left/right-wing dogma, then I suggest we stop talking and get right to fucking instead.

Edited July 17 by Vegas_Millennial
Grammar

[+ Italiano]

9 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I never ask a man's political affiliation.  Usually, he will expose it on his own through the course of conversation.  Party registration doesn't matter to me.  I can find things in common with a person of another party, provided he is intelligent.  If he begins spouting extreme left/right-wing dogma, then I suggest we stop talking and get right to fucking instead.

Unfortunately in these past 10 years even if we could have things in common I have not find one single person of another party who is intelligent.

[Whippoorwill]

Mother taught me never to discuss politics or religion with “acquaintances.” You don’t know where they are coming from; you will never change their mind anyway; it only causes upset all the way around. What’s the point ? Why would I want to know?

[caliguy]

Politics only matter to me if it's crammed down my throat. 

[caliguy]

On 7/17/2025 at 3:06 PM, Whippoorwill said:

Mother taught me never to discuss politics or religion with “acquaintances.” You don’t know where they are coming from; you will never change their mind anyway; it only causes upset all the way around. What’s the point ? Why would I want to know?

I agree with your mother but I kind of like to know who the assholes are.

[+ Jamie21]

Many of my clients are American and occasionally the conversation touches on politics. I’m ok to discuss it with them because as a Brit I don’t have a dog in the fight and I can comment from a position of ignorance in part. I’m socially very liberal and economically conservative and such views tend to align with Americans who hire anyway. In my experience the conversation soon moves from politics to the Royal Family about which most American clients are obsessed. Sometimes I think they wish they’d stuck with King George III…

[Himposium]

On 5/3/2025 at 6:46 PM, Simon Suraci said:

So today someone asked me this via PM. Someone I have never chatted with before.
The member will remain anonymous.

We are not permitted to discuss politics, so please refrain from discussing any of your personal affiliations or opinions about any political party or public figures. Stick to your opinion about whether you think it is ok to ask a member or a provider the question in the first place.

The question put me in a tough place. I don’t think I am particularly opaque in my views (which I will not discuss here), so I was puzzled someone would even ask. So I asked why they want to know. I also quoted community guideline 16 which states that the rest of the guidelines apply to private messages, one of which is we can’t discuss politics or religion on this platform.

This member proceeded to tell me that they had left a positive comment about a provider and later learned the political affiliation of that provider. That affiliation was different from the member’s affiliation and so he wished to remove the positive comment based solely on that affiliation. Why he thought I could help him with that task, or that I would be interested in doing so, I don’t know.

I told him that he should hire based on other things like professionalism, skill, and good communication, and not political affiliation. I didn’t know what his affiliation was by the way. I would say the same if he aligns with my affiliation or differs from it. 

He then told me that I was attacking him. I’m baffled.

Do you consider political affiliation at all in your hiring decisions? Assume the provider does not discuss politics in his sessions, and he does not push any ideological agenda in the course of performing his work. Would you choose not to hire someone because their political affiliation differs from yours?

From my perspective, it’s not uncommon for people to experience discomfort when encountering beliefs or affiliations that differ from their own—especially in today’s polarized climate. However, what stands out in this interaction is a phenomenon called cognitive rigidity—a reduced ability to tolerate ambiguity or opposing views without perceiving them as a threat.

The individual may also be experiencing a form of black-and-white thinking, a cognitive distortion where people or actions are viewed as entirely good or entirely bad, depending on a single characteristic like political alignment. This makes it difficult to appreciate nuance—such as a provider’s professionalism or kindness, independent of their beliefs.

Additionally, their accusation that you were ‘attacking’ them after calmly quoting a guideline and offering a neutral perspective could reflect projection—displacing their own discomfort or inner conflict onto you. When someone’s worldview is challenged, even gently, it can feel threatening if they haven’t developed internal tools for navigating differing opinions.

This situation also touches on identity fusion, where a person’s political identity becomes so central to their sense of self that it bleeds into unrelated decisions, like hiring a massage therapist or leaving a positive review. That level of entanglement can inhibit personal growth and reduce openness to beneficial, non-political experiences.

Your response modeled emotional maturity and boundary-setting: you stayed within the community guidelines, responded without judgment, and affirmed values like professionalism and open-mindedness. That the person responded with a sense of being 'attacked' is more telling about their emotional landscape than your words.

In short, this isn't just about politics—it's about anxiety, perceived threat, and an inability to tolerate difference. And that, more than any affiliation, is what needs compassionate understanding and, sometimes, therapeutic exploration.