Age and attitudes on nudity

[+ PhileasFogg]

An interesting conversation yesterday with a much younger friend (mid 20’s)…a former top porn star before he quit the business.  He’s A very very attractive Twink.  He said older men are much more into nudity than younger men.  I sleep nude, he doesn’t.  I’m comfortable at a nude beach, he isn’t.  I don’t have a problem skinny dipping (public or private), he does.  (To be fair, we were at Hanlan’s and many people obviously recognized him and gawked and not just at his impressive nudity)

He doesn’t feel unusual in his beliefs relative to peers and suggests that the difference is more age or generational.

while many of us here are middle aged (if that means some of us are planning on living to 120 or 150 😂), I’d be interested in opinions on this - hoping to hear from younger guys too.  

[+ Act25]

Very noticeable in my gym's locker room.  Older guys walking around sans towel (which I used to do until I became self-conscious about covid weight) and younger guys changing under a towel. 

At 12 years old I had to start taking showers for PE (1968) which I believe was the societal norm then.  Thinking about it was mortifying, but when it came time to strip down and get in the shower it felt totally natural and has not been an issue since.  I read somewhere that the only ones taking showers now were student wrestlers and that was required due to risk of infection.  

[56harrisond]

A related discussion:

 

[jeezifonly]

The United States of Prudery 

We are so fucked up about nudity. 

[soloyo215]

I see the same in the younger generation. It's a sad thing that they seem to think that ones own body is something that should be hidden, or that nudity means sex.

[pubic_assistance]

22 hours ago, Act25 said:

Very noticeable in my gym's locker room.  Older guys walking around sans towel (which I used to do until I became self-conscious about covid weight) and younger guys changing under a towel. 

Same here. In high school we never wrapped ourselves in a towel. We'd undress, and head to the showers which were a single big tiled room with dozens of shower heads. No privacy at all....so was rather pointless to wrap yourself in a towel only to show up in a room where you're naked with everyone else.

Over the last several years, at my fitness center, I've noticed all the young guys in the locker room go through all kinds of gymnastics to keep themselves covered up while undressing, as if they would be raped, if a glimpse of flesh were to be exposed.  Even the GIRLS in my High School were not SO demure about changing. When we'd travel to another town for football games, we'd go in our street clothes and change into our uniforms on the bus together as we neared our destination. The girls and boys would strip down to our underwear and have a giggle but nobody acted like they'd be raped over a quick view of some flesh. I personally find this new extreme-modesty very strange. But then I also attended many sex parties in the 90s where everyone was naked and fucking...so yeah..I, personally have ZERO hang-ups about nudity. 

I find these younger guys to be WAY uptight about it. I wouldn't be surprised if they went under their sheets to get naked during a hook up ! ha

Edited October 26, 2024 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[+ Just Chuck]

At the gym, I see men in their seventies and eighties standing around nude having conversations about lawn care or college football.  I'm in my fifties and I'll get naked to change, but have the next thing I'm putting on laying out and ready so it's clothes-off-clothes-on in a matter of less than a minute.  Guys in their mid-thirties and younger seem to almost always just show up in gym clothes, work out and not change before leaving.

[+ ApexNomad]

I think the younger generation, because they grew up with the internet, they are so inundated with all these unrealistic body standards. They’re constantly bombarded with hyper-edited images that make anyone feel self-conscious. And the kind of porn that’s available to them now is so different from what we had growing up—it’s everywhere, and it sets this crazy standard that can make people feel they need to look a certain way.

I also think a lot of straight guys—though definitely not all—seem to feel like they have to appear ‘masculine’ 24/7. If they even glance at another man’s body, they’re suddenly ‘gay’ or something, and that’s a big deal to them. Sad.

[Lotus-eater]

I agree that the internet may play a role but instead think that younger generations may be more concerned about being captured on video and having it shared or posted on social media and being mocked.

Edited October 25, 2024 by Lotus-eater

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 10/24/2024 at 8:46 PM, PhileasFogg said:

An interesting conversation yesterday with a much younger friend (mid 20’s)…a former top porn star before he quit the business.  He’s A very very attractive Twink.  He said older men are much more into nudity than younger men.  I sleep nude, he doesn’t.  I’m comfortable at a nude beach, he isn’t.  I don’t have a problem skinny dipping (public or private), he does.  (To be fair, we were at Hanlan’s and many people obviously recognized him and gawked and not just at his impressive nudity)

He doesn’t feel unusual in his beliefs relative to peers and suggests that the difference is more age or generational.

while many of us here are middle aged (if that means some of us are planning on living to 120 or 150 😂), I’d be interested in opinions on this - hoping to hear from younger guys too.  

Nudity isn't generational.  It's about confidence and some maturity.

Ever seen a 20-something in a bathhouse?  They have zero game.

As we get older, we learn who we are and we get comfortable with ourselves.

Sadly, we can't all be old souls.

[moonlight]

My gym locker room is full of guys taking posing selfies despite the signs prohibiting photography. So I don't blame anyone not wanting to get caught in their photos.

[+ PhileasFogg]

8 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Nudity isn't generational.  It's about confidence and some maturity.

Ever seen a 20-something in a bathhouse?  They have zero game.

As we get older, we learn who we are and we get comfortable with ourselves.

Sadly, we can't all be old souls.

You know, that’s a very good point.  In my younger days, due to body image concerns,  was modest to a point of prudishness.  But I did get over it in my 20’s when I came to understand that my endowment was at least above average.     Today, I’m not tall and my hair is thinning, but no one would doubt my self confidence. 

[+ Pensant]

16 hours ago, Just Chuck said:

Guys in their mid-thirties and younger seem to almost always just show up in gym clothes, work out and not change before leaving.

They’re the ones who are heading over to my place for a sweaty session. I love when they don’t shower and come right from the gym!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

You know, that’s a very good point.  In my younger days, due to body image concerns,  was modest to a point of prudishness.  But I did get over it in my 20’s when I came to understand that my endowment was at least above average.     Today, I’m not tall and my hair is thinning, but no one would doubt my self confidence. 

If you're lucky, you get to a point in life where you just accept who you are.  You stop doubting, picking apart and finding fault with what you see. 

It's what I call the 'fuck all' moment.

[Rod Hagen]

Apart from runners, men in Gay Neighborhoods are shirtless publicly much less often than in the past.  20 years ago we used to work out shirtless inside the West Hollywood Athletic Club.  Men at the climbing gyms never used to wear a shirt, now they nearly all do.

Edited October 26, 2024 by Rod Hagen

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

19 minutes ago, Rod Hagen said:

Apart from runners, men in Gay Neighborhoods are shirtless publicly much less often than in the past.  20 years ago we used to work out shirtless inside the West Hollywood Athletic Club.  Men at the climbing gyms never used to wear a shirt, now they nearly all do.

100% spot on.

I work out at shirtless gyms, but still see a ton of guys stay covered up on the weight floor. 

It's their prerogative, but it's the same strange feeling I get from guys who come into steam/sauna in clothing (fucking gross) or shower in their underwear.  

It just seems like so much work to avoid being seen naked.

[misterhumphries]

2 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I work out at shirtless gyms, but still see a ton of guys stay covered up on the weight floor. ....

 

Shirtless gyms? That is so unsanitary. I do not look forward to laying down for a bench press where some shirtless knucklehead has sweated and left a dose of his dead skin cells and bacteria. No!

As to the original question, I believe attitudes and practices around male nudity are generational. Older men 50+ may be more comfortable with their nudity and sexual agency; they be more accepting of the effects of gravity and the aging process taking its toll on an average body. In contrast, young men are self-conscious of being the firm young flesh on the floor, the presumed objects of all desire, so they are in a panic to remain covered lest some horny old devil perv on them. 

But wearing underwear in the sauna or jacuzzi? How sad.

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

If you're lucky, you get to a point in life where you just accept who you are.  You stop doubting, picking apart and finding fault with what you see. 

It's what I call the 'fuck all' moment.

I certainly identify with this. At 77 I have a less than ideal body but still make efforts to maintain what I have as fit as possible.
 

This, and also having “passed the “fuck all” moment some years ago, I now find I can enter a hotel room with a complete stranger except for some text messages prior to the meeting, strip off my clothes in broad daylight or evening lamplight, and get up close and personal without any inhibition on my part. 
 

I find that the providers I hire return my ardour enthusiastically or at least act that they are aroused and the evidence is soon forthcoming in their sporting a hard dick. And the rest is just an enjoyable romp where we enjoy each others’ bodies with what each has to offer. 
 

At least that is how I see things. 

[Luv2play]

11 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

Shirtless gyms? That is so unsanitary. I do not look forward to laying down for a bench press where some shirtless knucklehead has sweated and left a dose of his dead skin cells and bacteria. No!

As to the original question, I believe attitudes and practices around male nudity are generational. Older men 50+ may be more comfortable with their nudity and sexual agency; they be more accepting of the effects of gravity and the aging process taking its toll on an average body. In contrast, young men are self-conscious of being the firm young flesh on the floor, the presumed objects of all desire, so they are in a panic to remain covered lest some horny old devil perv on them. 

But wearing underwear in the sauna or jacuzzi? How sad.

The gyms I have belonged to require members using the benches or seats to wipe them off after each use. The better gyms supply the sanitary wipes to do this. I would never leave a machine or bench leaving sweaty tracks on it. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

53 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

Shirtless gyms? That is so unsanitary. I do not look forward to laying down for a bench press where some shirtless knucklehead has sweated and left a dose of his dead skin cells and bacteria. No!

That's an incorrect assumption.

At a serious lifting gym, most members wipe up after themselves.  It's just expected.

[+ ApexNomad]

8 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

You know, that’s a very good point.  In my younger days, due to body image concerns,  was modest to a point of prudishness.  But I did get over it in my 20’s when I came to understand that my endowment was at least above average.     Today, I’m not tall and my hair is thinning, but no one would doubt my self confidence. 

For men, especially in gay culture, it’s often the endowment that becomes the hang-up. But you reach an age where you stop giving a shit about any of your insecurities—and that’s where real confidence begins.

[+ PhileasFogg]

It occurred to me - after reading these comments - that when I was assisting with a Capital Campaign for my college fraternity, the active chapter was begging to do away with the gang shower setup wanting private stalls instead.

The 50 years old shower was sufficient in my day.  With 20/20 hindsight, we now know that 20% of the members were gay, but no one walked around with “Big John” at attention and nothing inappropriate happened (at least in the public showers)

So while guys today are more tolerant, I still wonder if there’s an inherent homophobia or fear of homophobia embedded in their modesty.  

[+ ApexNomad]

32 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

It occurred to me - after reading these comments - that when I was assisting with a Capital Campaign for my college fraternity, the active chapter was begging to do away with the gang shower setup wanting private stalls instead.

The 50 years old shower was sufficient in my day.  With 20/20 hindsight, we now know that 20% of the members were gay, but no one walked around with “Big John” at attention and nothing inappropriate happened (at least in the public showers)

So while guys today are more tolerant, I still wonder if there’s an inherent homophobia or fear of homophobia embedded in their modesty.  

In our society, masculinity is often tied to physical attributes, particularly the size of a man’s penis. This fixation can lead to feelings of inadequacy among men who believe they don’t measure up. It’s an unfortunate narrative that equates worth with size—whether it’s a big house, a big job, big money, or a big dick.

The famous gay porn film “The Bigger the Better,” featuring Matt Ramsey and Rick Donovan, says it all in its title.

These ideals are especially prevalent in traditionally conservative areas, where rigid norms overshadow diverse expressions of male identity. This creates challenges for those who are gay or don’t conform, as acceptance tends to be limited.

In contrast, urban settings offer greater acceptance and a wider array of identities, allowing individuals to embrace their authentic selves. This raises the question: how can we redefine masculinity to celebrate diversity rather than conforming to narrow standards? We need to foster a culture where every individual feels valued, regardless of their physical attributes. Hopefully, I will see more of this change in my lifetime.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

It occurred to me - after reading these comments - that when I was assisting with a Capital Campaign for my college fraternity, the active chapter was begging to do away with the gang shower setup wanting private stalls instead.

The 50 years old shower was sufficient in my day.  With 20/20 hindsight, we now know that 20% of the members were gay, but no one walked around with “Big John” at attention and nothing inappropriate happened (at least in the public showers)

So while guys today are more tolerant, I still wonder if there’s an inherent homophobia or fear of homophobia embedded in their modesty.  

I will add, it's a very American behavior to be afraid and/or intimidated by public nudity.

[pubic_assistance]

46 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I will add, it's a very American behavior to be afraid and/or intimidated by public nudity.

I have to disagree. Maybe in certain parts of America.  When I was a kid, and you went to the public swimming pool...you would go to the locker room after /undress/ walk naked into the shower ( with my father ) and rinse off. When I was in High School, we undressed in front of one another/ showered in front of one another. Never even held up a towel. Same in college (Syracuse University) but at University you'd encounter students from other cultures who WERE more modest. None of the Americans I encountered had any issues until the 2000s.