Requesting a Deposit Refund

[+ KensingtonHomo]

So, I was setting up a meeting with a provider in Atlanta for next week. He's really attractive, and we seemed to be a good match. 

Then, he asked me to share what I wanted out of the experience. Two of the things I enjoy (which he listed on his profile as things he's into), he said he doesn't care for one and never does the other. I have never had an issue sending a deposit before, but I pointed out that he lists those activities on his profile, and there was no response. 

Given all this, I don't feel it's a good fit. So I messaged him and said, "I'm sensing this isn't the right fit for me. So please refund my deposit." That was 10:30 last night, and it's been radio silence. He has a day job, so I'm trying to give him some time, but I'm curious what others think I should do if he remains silent, particularly other providers. 

Thanks! 

(And please don't use this thread to yell about how people shouldn't make deposits. 6 years into this hobby, this is the first issue I've run into.) 

[pubic_assistance]

Say goodbye to your money

[soloyo215]

I have to agree with pubic_assistance. Doesn't look like you will get your money back.

Without giving you a lecture about deposits or no deposits, what I wonder is why that conversation happened after the deposit was made? If you are ok with the deposit, it should be used to ensure the appointment, and the appointment should be locked only after you have that discussion, when you have a higher degree of certainty of what to expect.

It's not about the deposit, it's about the timing. Why giving a deposit before having that conversation?

[+ Jamie21]

I agree with @soloyo215, why pay the deposit before all the details are agreed? I guess that because he advertises as offering the activities you wanted you probably assumed he’d be willing to do them, which seems reasonable. My guess is he’s willing to include those activities but selectively depending on the client. If that’s the case then you probably saved yourself a bad meet. The money sounds like it’s gone. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

24 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

why pay the deposit before all the details are agreed? I guess that because he advertises as offering the activities you wanted you probably assumed he’d be willing to do them, which seems reasonable. My guess is he’s willing to include those activities but selectively depending on the client. If that’s the case then you probably saved yourself a bad meet.

This is exactly what happened. We had a very nice chat going (no red flags). He sent me face pics (which he doesn't have on his profile). I requested a specific time. He requested the deposit to secure the meeting. It's not a lot of money; it's more that it feels like false advertising. If he doesn't return it, I'll post on the thread about him here so people know. 

[Simon Suraci]

I feel it’s only right for him to return the deposit.

At the same time, it’s best to confirm any particular items that are important to you before you book and send a deposit.

And yet, you shouldn’t have to confirm everything he lists on his profile either. Bad on him for throwing in the kitchen sink on his profile and then not delivering.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

57 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

I feel it’s only right for him to return the deposit.

At the same time, it’s best to confirm any particular items that are important to you before you book and send a deposit.

And yet, you shouldn’t have to confirm everything he lists on his profile either. Bad on him for throwing in the kitchen sink on his profile and then not delivering.

Thanks, Simon. I always appreciate your (and other providers') insights. I won't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. I already have another meeting set up. 

Me and my husband (since we usually hire together) really do our best to treat every provider with respect, empathy, and kindness. I'm an SA survivor so I never want someone to do something they're not comfortable with. I just feel like, in this instance, his profile is falsely advertising. 

[rvwnsd]

Given his ad stated he engaged in the two things you requested, he requested and you sent a deposit, and then stated he doesn't engage in the two things his ad said he does, I think you deserve a refund of the deposit. It's the right thing for him to do.

That being said, I doubt you will receive a refund. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Ditto. Don't expect a refund. Flag him in the Deli or the Spa so we know to stay away.

[LookingAround]

Any update?

[+ nycman]

[Cretus]

If you don’t get your deposit back after he has seen your messages, or just after 2 more days,  flag him on here for sure - (with updates about the deposit- if he refunds you, then make it clear in the flag thread).  I would find it malicious if he didn’t pay it back.
 

 

[Cretus]

Just now, Lolito said:

If you don’t get your deposit back after he has seen your messages, or just after 2 more days,  flag him on here for sure - (with updates about the deposit- if he refunds you, then make it clear in the flag thread).  I would find it malicious if he didn’t pay it back.
 

 

Definitely don’t send deposits until you ascertain the details of the encounter.

[BuffaloKyle]

I have found out the hard way to always confirm they will partake in what you are looking for. I hired a provider expecting him to be into kissing as he had it on his intos but was shocked when he said he didn't do kissing in person. Always confirm!

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I sent him a message requesting the refund which he has ignored. 24 hours later I said “it’s been 24 hours and you’re ignoring me so I guess you’re not refunding the deposit which is fucked up.” 

He wanted to use Zelle, which meant he gave me his real phone number. So now I know his full name, address and where he works. I’ve been debating just sending him his address to see if that concerns him. 

But he could find out the same about me. So it’s like mutually assured destruction. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Cretus]

21 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I sent him a message requesting the refund which he has ignored. 24 hours later I said “it’s been 24 hours and you’re ignoring me so I guess you’re not refunding the deposit which is fucked up.” 

He wanted to use Zelle, which meant he gave me his real phone number. So now I know his full name, address and where he works. I’ve been debating just sending him his address to see if that concerns him. 

But he could find out the same about me. So it’s like mutually assured destruction. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Honestly, some escorts are dangerous individuals. Not all, but some. I would let him know that you would soon out him on this site- a very influential website, and word would get around quickly that he is a fraudulent provider.

 

Sending his address could be seen as too great a provocation- and he might react in a way you may not expect.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 minutes ago, Lolito said:

Sending his address could be seen as too great a provocation- and he might react in a way you may not expect.

I’m not worried. He has a day job that’s pretty nerdy. We live in different cities. And I’m pretty dangerous myself. 

[Archangel]

On 7/19/2024 at 2:13 PM, Jamie21 said:

I agree with @soloyo215, why pay the deposit before all the details are agreed? 

I’ve run into potential new hires who don’t want to discuss details before a deposit is made because “time is money.” In those cases, I just move on. It’s going to be a bad fit simply because of the attitude toward the experience. Business? Yes. Pleasure? Hmmm… 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Since it's been almost three days with no refund, here is the provider: 

Leaky_pole - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in Atlanta, GA | RentMen

RENTMEN.EU

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Pornstar Performer & Rentboy in Atlanta, GA - Leaky_pole: bi guy, leaking (precum) often

I also wrote the details of what happened on a thread about him here.