Pay in advance

[jackdallas]

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

[JamesB]

6 hours ago, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

I don't think this is a right or wrong type of situation. While the provider may request payment in advance, it's ultimately your decision whether to agree or decline. Personally, I choose not to pay deposits or prepay for services. I've had experiences in the past that taught me this lesson.

[maninsoma]

6 hours ago, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

You joined earlier today and this is your first post?  I suggest searching the forum for previous threads on this topic as this question has been discussed so much that I'm not sure what else there is to say.  You'll find some who think it's entirely reasonable to pay in advance (or pay a deposit in advance), and others who don't.

As to what to do when you pay in advance and then the escort fails to deliver as promised, unless the guy offers a full or partial refund you are out your money. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

10 hours ago, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

Hi, I'm the site's search function. 

You can use me to find the endless threads about this very subject.

I'm in the upper-right corner.  

[56harrisond]

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

18 minutes ago, 56harrisond said:

As always, you're doing the lord's work.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

13 hours ago, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

Since some people on here think everything I say rubs them the wrong way, I’m just going to quote reference what other providers have to say:

An Escort Explains Deposits

GOODCLIENTGUIDE.COM

---

Flaky behavior, no-call no-shows, and last minute cancellations have become so common that providers seek to...

“The costs of hotels and other overhead expenses have also risen. Rents have spiked; it’s now extremely expensive, often prohibitively so, for many providers to rent a separate apartment for incalls, for example. 

Online advertising is now much more expensive. We also incur other expenses to see you: fuel and transportation, childcare, turning down other paid work and other appointments, and so on. Again, these costs are often tied to a singular appointment, so we need you to show up or to be financially compensated if you flake. 

Many factors, too, have led to the apparent rise in overall shenanigans. We may get a lot of inquiries, but a high percentage aren’t serious. Chalk it up to whatever you like – the overall erosion of trust and the social fabric amid a global pandemic, climate change, war, economic jitters, an overall culture of ghosting, etc, etc. But the vibes have shifted. Serious clients differentiate themselves by putting down a deposit”

 

And I think specifically: @JamesB, @Trick, @BostonDadType, and some others need to read this because: y’all are taking it a bit too far making statements that aren’t true. Educate yourself, before you accuse someone of something ✋🏾 🛑 

I refuse to pay a deposit. What should I do?

Only contact providers that don’t require them; then show up for the appointment 100% of the time. If all clients did this, providers would not have to ask for deposits.

Edited March 12 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Trick]

Name a statement I said that isn’t true

[JamesB]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And I think specifically: @JamesB, @Trick, @BostonDadType, and some others need to read this because: y’all are taking it a bit too far making statements that aren’t true. Educate yourself, before you accuse someone of something ✋🏾 🛑 

I simply expressed that "I personally do not pay deposits nor services in advance." I'm puzzled and unsure why you find this statement to be “taking it a bit too far” and untrue.

I have my own approach to conducting business, and whether you agree or disagree with it is entirely acceptable and it's natural for opinions to differ.

It's unrealistic to anticipate all potential clients to adhere to your regulations, or for the entire industry to adjust to your preferences. When inevitable discrepancies arise from this misalignment, it can understandably lead to frustration and anger.

With that said, I bid you farewell. I wish you the best of luck, and I won't be engaging with any more of your posts.

[Monarchy79]

14 hours ago, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

It’s not right or wrong. It’s their discretion, just like with any service. 
1.) many attorneys require retainers

2.) home contractors for renovations may negotiate a deposit 

3.) Many physicians want your co-pay up front. 

The provider of any service has the right to determine their payment standards. You as the customer have the right to either accept those terms, or decline service and find services from a provider who has payment standards that are in accordance with your standards of business. 
 

Life is very simple. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

I simply expressed that "I personally do not pay deposits nor services in advance." I'm puzzled and unsure why you find this statement to be “taking it a bit too far” and untrue.

I have my own approach to conducting business, and whether you agree or disagree with it is entirely acceptable and it's natural for opinions to differ.

It's unrealistic to anticipate all potential clients to adhere to your regulations, or for the entire industry to adjust to your preferences. When inevitable discrepancies arise from this misalignment, it can understandably lead to frustration and anger.

With that said, I bid you farewell. I wish you the best of luck, and I won't be engaging with any more of your posts.

Thankyou, I never asked you to in the first place. I don’t know why you felt the need to to make that sly comment on the other thread.
 

Fact is, I did not assume everyone has to “align” to my preferences anymore than you stated: “Personally, I choose not to pay deposits or prepay for services. I've had experiences in the past that taught me this lesson.” 
 

That right there gives the impression that you had bad experiences paying deposits (likely because you didn’t do you due research) and are trying to allude to others not to do so. 

That said, if you don’t want me to address you: don’t address me. Farewell to yourself, I never invited you to respond to my posts, especially if you going to come with an attitude trying to call me out ✌️

Edited March 12 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

And I’ll say one more thing:

lot of these “non deposit” guys, they often are more afraid of what they want, it’s less to do with a deposit. It’s their insecurity and ignorance towards sex workers. As if we can’t be responsible enough to be trusted with payment ahead. That’s why stuff like “fuck first, pay after” is used so commonly around here. But what they don’t tell you is, the times people have done just that, and either didn’t receive payment or only gotten partial payment.

 

Edited March 12 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

Oh no! The deposit question 😱…

Here’s the answer: the provider decides his business model and the hirer decides whether or not to play it. You do you. The end. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

12 hours ago, Trick said:

Name a statement I said that isn’t true

 

[Simon Suraci]

On 3/11/2024 at 6:45 AM, jackdallas said:

Is it right for escorts to ask for payment before and what do you do when they cannot perform?

Welcome to the forum @jackdallas. In this little corner of cyberspace, the deposits topic is akin to religion and politics. We don’t talk about it unless you want an endless, divisive pointless argument. Each side will die on hill. Nobody is changing their mind from what they already think. At best, we agree to disagree and have pizza. At worst, personal attacks prompt moderators to close the topic.

Others have pointed you in the right direction. Look there. If @56harrisond had a nickel for every time he graciously took time to search for and post relevant links…he could hire to his heart’s content for decades. Thank you!

Start or participate in deposits debates (battles? martyr spectacles? shit shows?) at your own risk!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

23 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Oh no! The deposit question 😱…

Here’s the answer: the provider decides his business model and the hirer decides whether or not to play it. You do you. The end. 

I’m still propositioning to websites: We need to move towards a Uber/Lyft model where clients are expected to pay SOMETHING upfront to book us. Mind you, when you book an Uber or Lyft, it’s no “I only do cash”. The entire amount is charged upfront. I only ask for $50/$100 deposit and some guys scared to even do that…but they expect me to pull out my credit card and book a hotel because they don’t want to book a room to host either.
 

It’s like come on, it can’t be one sided. After awhile, you don’t want to keep playing the fool for a “potential” to earn money. I would do better gambling $100 on lottery tickets, than on a hotel where I have no appointments pre-booked that day.

If we can pay for ads with our card, clients can book an appointment with theirs. You can go to dollar general, or dollar tree and buy a prepaid visa/master card. It doesn’t have to be tied to your main account.

And I wouldn’t mind deposits to go towards ad costs and platinum boosts. Or some other way of outsourcing the funds to make it accessible to us. I know it can be done, the pressure just needs to happen. I know it probably can’t be as refined and play by play like Uber is (obviously when you contact Uber, you have multiple people ready at that moment and the point of contact requires less time than an actual client/escort encounter). But having dozens of RentMen messenger replies that don’t lead to an appointment? This isn’t Grindr. We pay to advertise and sometimes pay just to provide accommodations. Guys on Grindr don’t go book a hotel to host. I see it all the time around town, “I CAN’T HOST” even though there’s dozens of hotels in the area.

 

Clients should be putting down nominal fees to request a booking with us. This culture of expecting the escort to spend, spend, spend their own money before making a dime, and the client being stubborn and unwilling to provide a deposit, let alone a picture of themselves…needs to stop. One can only be played for a fool for so long.

The only way that model can work, is if you’re a single gay guy in the city with your own place. And majority of your clients are only within a few miles away. In San Francisco and New York perhaps. But not every escort lives alone in the Big city. Some can’t host or need notice to host, others like myself travel to different cities for business because their home market is dead or dried up. I can’t afford to work without deposits because that would be too much gambling.

I stopped booking in-calls without a deposit, because many will cancel last minute on hosting escorts (I got called into work is a favorite line).

Edited March 13 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ APPLE1]

Paying a deposit through a 3rd party (i.e. the website), what a helter-skelter concept!

1) Can you imagine the logistics of refunds??? And for the sake of brevity, let's just stick to a few NON SUBJECTIVES :

He didn't show 'til 7:07/I was there at 7:05.

He was 6'1"/I am 6'2".

Who do you believe, and what if reality is 7:06 and 6'1.5"?

2) If providers think this is a good idea, my thought is, careful what you wish for! There's a reason you can pretty much return anything at any time to Costco, and Ebay has reputation for siding with buyers. Both have recognized that keeping a favorable reputation with shoppers is a much larger business advantage than keeping their sellers happy.

Edited March 13 by APPLE1

[Jarrod_Uncut]

25 minutes ago, APPLE1 said:

Paying a deposit through a 3rd party (i.e. the website), what a helter-skelter concept!

1) Can you imagine the logistics of refunds??? And for the sake of brevity, let's just stick to a few NON SUBJECTIVES :

He didn't show 'til 7:07/I was there at 7:05.

He was 6'1"/I am 6'2".

Who do you believe, and what if reality is 7:06 and 6'1.5"?

2) If providers think this is a good idea, my thought is, careful what you wish for! There's a reason you can pretty much return anything at any time to Costco, and Ebay has reputation for siding with buyers. Both have recognized that keeping a favorable reputation with shoppers is a much larger business advantage than keeping their sellers happy.

In the case I refer to, I am more implying like a very nominal amount to schedule. Like a $10/20 booking fee to reach the provider. That would cover the initial setup and access to the provider. And like the ads we pay for, it would likely be non refundable.

From there, the client and provider could discuss whether additional deposit for travel or hosting is needed. The point is, to not be a sitting duck 🦆 for millions of texts and messengers that go nowhere day in, day out.

But of course, leave it to some sites: they rather earn money from us than the “buyer”. I feel not setting a precedent for clients to pay us from the get go, is the reason why the deposit discussion keeps coming up in the first place. RentMen and A4A doesn’t allow rates posting. Lot of these guys talk to us about everything else, except the money. They want to know where we are at, if we’re in town, are we available…but nothing at all payment. Can’t put the 🛒 before the 🐎 
 

Someone here mentioned I bring up the business part too quickly: I say it’s not brung up quick enough. No point in going over a bunch of details, only to get to the rate and/or deposit and they aren’t able to do it. And some here have said they get annoyed if the escort waits until the day of the booking to ask for a deposit.
 

After dealing with someone last month who messaged me twice on messenger, had contacted my profile in the past, and then texted me only to say, “Sorry I only do cash”: I made sure for now on, to include it right next to my number in my auto reply. So now there’s 0 excuse going forward.

[jmichaeliii]

3 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’m still propositioning to websites: We need to move towards a Uber/Lyft model where clients are expected to pay SOMETHING upfront to book us. Mind you, when you book an Uber or Lyft, it’s no “I only do cash”. The entire amount is charged upfront. I only ask for $50/$100 deposit and some guys scared to even do that…but they expect me to pull out my credit card and book a hotel because they don’t want to book a room to host either.
 

It’s like come on, it can’t be one sided. After awhile, you don’t want to keep playing the fool for a “potential” to earn money. I would do better gambling $100 on lottery tickets, than on a hotel where I have no appointments pre-booked that day.

If we can pay for ads with our card, clients can book an appointment with theirs. You can go to dollar general, or dollar tree and buy a prepaid visa/master card. It doesn’t have to be tied to your main account.

And I wouldn’t mind deposits to go towards ad costs and platinum boosts. Or some other way of outsourcing the funds to make it accessible to us. I know it can be done, the pressure just needs to happen. I know it probably can’t be as refined and play by play like Uber is (obviously when you contact Uber, you have multiple people ready at that moment and the point of contact requires less time than an actual client/escort encounter). But having dozens of RentMen messenger replies that don’t lead to an appointment? This isn’t Grindr. We pay to advertise and sometimes pay just to provide accommodations. Guys on Grindr don’t go book a hotel to host. I see it all the time around town, “I CAN’T HOST” even though there’s dozens of hotels in the area.

 

Clients should be putting down nominal fees to request a booking with us. This culture of expecting the escort to spend, spend, spend their own money before making a dime, and the client being stubborn and unwilling to provide a deposit, let alone a picture of themselves…needs to stop. One can only be played for a fool for so long.

The only way that model can work, is if you’re a single gay guy in the city with your own place. And majority of your clients are only within a few miles away. In San Francisco and New York perhaps. But not every escort lives alone in the Big city. Some can’t host or need notice to host, others like myself travel to different cities for business because their home market is dead or dried up. I can’t afford to work without deposits because that would be too much gambling.

I stopped booking in-calls without a deposit, because many will cancel last minute on hosting escorts (I got called into work is a favorite line).

Interesting on one part of this.  Unless the provider insists on booking, I always arrange and pay for the hotel, so I am putting a deposit down.  I haven't been flaked on by anyone to this point, but I also veer toward providers that are local and have been around awhile and reviewed.

[pubic_assistance]

On 3/12/2024 at 1:23 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And I’ll say one more thing:

Only one ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Trick]

On 3/12/2024 at 4:18 AM, Jamie21 said:

Oh no! The deposit question 😱…

Here’s the answer: the provider decides his business model and the hirer decides whether or not to play it. You do you. The end. 

Thank you.

[Jay DC]

I agree that there is no right or wrong answer. If you object to deposits, don’t do them. I have done a few over the years-maybe five out of a few hundred. And I have offered the deposit. I’m less inclined to consider one if it’s demanded. Never say never but I’d rather tip a little more rather than submit a deposit. I usually do one so the person can arrange Uber or other transportation to come see me. I offer to send a car but some people feel better making their own arrangements. I never had an issue or regretted doing the few deposits I’ve done. I also am in the minority because if I’m  doing an electronic payment, I like to do it as soon as they arrive. Most providers are aghast and try to assure me that we can settle up at the end. I’m always concerned I’m going to mess it up so I feel better doing it upfront. And a couple of times I have messed it up (usually by not realizing my bank sent a fraud alert and I didn’t respond in time). The bank locked my card and I had to walk with the provider to an ATM  to get old fashioned cash.  Since I’ve retired, I no longer worry so much about a paper trail and I’ve never been one to carry cash so I like electronic payments. Plus it’s easier to tip or pay to extend our time. And I was the one who was aghast when I learned some electronic apps withhold hefty fees from the payment for using their service. If paying electronically, always add the fee payment on top of the agreed rate. The provider shouldn’t get short changed because I’m too lazy to go to the bank. I’ve never had an issue with prepaying. I understand there’s some risk, but it’s right for me. I get it if it’s not right for others and I’d never judge them just like I shouldn’t be judged for usually refusing deposits and paying my providers upfront. I’m sure when I get burned by my habit of prepaying, I’ll be singing a different tune but life is full of risks. Choose the ones you can live with and let me choose mine. 

[Simon Suraci]

6 hours ago, Jay DC said:

If paying electronically, always add the fee payment on top of the agreed rate.

Thanks for bringing this up. Many of you clients don’t consider transaction fees in your daily lives. Not just with providers but with all small businesses. Depending on the method, it costs the merchant between 2.5-3.0% of your total transaction. Sometimes slightly less than that, sometimes slightly more. For a larger transaction of, say, $1,450 that’s over $40 out of the provider’s pocket. Consider this cost when you tip.

Maybe you want to tip 20% (or fill in the blank %). Effectively, your tip is actually about 17%. Consider tipping 3-5 percentage points more to make up for the processing fees, which serve as a convenience to you, the consumer, for using digital payments. Especially if you’re getting credit card rewards benefits on top of that. Those benefits are a tax on your merchants.

Zelle costs nothing. If your bank offers Zelle (all major US banks do), consider that over Venmo, CashApp, credit cards, and other digitals.

Many transactions are smaller, perhaps only a few hundred dollars, but over the course of a year, digital transaction fees add up to thousands of dollars of lost revenue. I can’t complain when the client is tipping, of course, but if they aren’t tipping at all, it incentivizes me to increase rates to make up for this cost. Or perhaps charge a premium for certain digital payments. 

Fortunately half my business or more is in cash, so digital payment processing fees aren’t driving my pricing decisions. In my opinion, it’s bad business to nickel and dime my clients in such a way. I’m better off getting more business overall and eating the fees than I am getting less business due to the psychological deterrent of charging more in fees.

In an increasingly cashless world, however, these digital transaction fees contribute to the rising costs of everything from bread to massages. Meanwhile, digital payment processors and credit card companies make tens of billions of dollars on these fees every year in the US, and even more globally.

Cash, at least in this biz, is still king…for privacy reasons more than anything. Please tip your providers when you use a digital payment method.