Do people regret escorting?

[socurious]

It's the business traumatizing? I feel like it's not really for everyone...

[CuriousByNature]

46 minutes ago, socurious said:

It's the business traumatizing? I feel like it's not really for everyone...

I think you may need to define 'traumatizing'.  For what it's worth, I don't believe such a career is for everyone - just like being a teacher, a lawyer, a janitor, a surgeon, or a student is not for everyone.  And perhaps even more important, not everyone is the type for such a career.

[+ jessmapex]

I think it depends on how one gets into the biz. In the west (and by that i mean the US mostly), when it comes to guys, i believe they have a choice. Escorting is less work for more $$. Some get into this to support their drug habit, others truly enjoy this, some like older men and the attention they get, and a few others simply monetize their regular sex life that involves many sexual partners. Also, in the gay/bi/MSM community the attitude toward m4m sex is more casual. So, i do not think it is particularly traumatizing compared to, say, a woman who is trafficked from Eastern Europe or Asia and is forced into this.

Edited July 11, 2023 by jessmapex

[+ DynamicUno]

2 hours ago, socurious said:

It's the business traumatizing? I feel like it's not really for everyone...

It depends on the person and how they get themselves involved in the business.  Obviously some get into sex working under less than ideal circumstances, where they are coerced or feel they do not have other options.  Others do it as part of a party lifestyle that can be self-destructive over time.

The internet has allowed for guys doing sex work to engage more independently and on more favorable terms, so many can do so without negative consequences to their private lives or careers.  

Obviously you've been on this site long enough to see where guys have done well and others who have had problems.  A lot of the providers interacting here know how keep their business life sustainable without being traumatized.

[+ Coolwave35]

I don’t regret doing it. I made quite a bit of money web camming during college in 2001-2004. I agreed to meet up with a few viewers for escort services. Only 3. I’ll never forget them. One was a traveling French businessman. I came in his eye and he was so mad, proceeding to mutter to himself and complain in French profusely. The second was an attorney who was warm in my apartment so I turned the fan on. During the climax, my normally explosive load got picked up by the fan wind and oscillated cum alllllllll over his suit.  He was mad he had to go back to trial with a lot of jizz marks on his clothes. The last one was my age. He was so awkward and uncomfortable. He fumbled through asking to blow me and proceeded with one of the worst blow jobs I ever had. When I offered a blow job back his face lit up in disbelief. I think I was his first and he came in under a minute. 

I quickly realized it wasn’t for me and went back to video sessions.  After college I had my very hot roommate make appearances in my cam shows and then we’d sell his underwear and socks. All in, over two years I think we banked $17k which was amazing money to us at the time. 

I don’t think I was in it long enough to have regrets  

 

[+ Coolwave35]

Ohhhhhhh!   During the pandemic I participated in the Adonis sex shows via zoom as a panelist / co-host. One of the viewers sent me screenshots of the cam scenes I had done 20 years before. It was wild to me that A) this person had been in those yahoo chat room / video lobbies and B) found me attractive enough to save an image for 20 years and C) recognized me enough to put the two together despite not looking like a 20 year old anymore and D) knew exactly where those images were saved 20 years later to be able to share it with me 

My first reaction was damnnnnnnn I looked good when I was young. Second was God, I hope this isn’t the guy sending me anonymous hate letters threatening to expose me as a sexual deviant and sex trafficker. All in a day. 

Edited July 11, 2023 by Coolwave35

[Jamie21]

No regrets. I love doing it. It can be challenging though, and impacts your sex life. I think you need to be mentally strong, and keep a sense of perspective. It’s not a ‘normal’ job. 

[maninsoma]

Lots of people regret taking all sorts of jobs.  I've had a couple of traumatizing jobs in my life that had nothing to do with sex work.  Hopefully anyone who decides to escort who realizes it isn't for him simply stops and does something else.

[+ Ace]

No regrets AT ALL!

It's definitely NOT for everyone and having a good head on your shoulders certainly helps balance work/private life.

This business has offered me opportunities & experiences (as well as relationships/friendships), that I don't think happen in most other fields.

[mike carey]

24 minutes ago, Ace said:

No regrets AT ALL!

It's definitely NOT for everyone and having a good head on your shoulders certainly helps balance work/private life.

This business has offered me opportunities & experiences (as well as relationships/friendships), that I don't think happen in most other fields.

But you're a dead set legend, Ace. That doesn't mean you couldn't have regrets, but I'm not surprised you don't!

[+ José Soplanucas]

3 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

One was a traveling French businessman. I came in his eye and he was so mad, proceeding to mutter to himself and complain in French profusely. The second was an attorney who was warm in my apartment so I turned the fan on. During the climax, my normally explosive load got picked up by the fan wind and oscillated cum alllllllll over his suit.  He was mad he had to go back to trial with a lot of jizz marks on his clothes. The last one was my age. He was so awkward and uncomfortable. He fumbled through asking to blow me and proceeded with one of the worst blow jobs I ever had. When I offered a blow job back his face lit up in disbelief. I think I was his first and he came in under a minute. 

[+ Ace]

17 minutes ago, mike carey said:

But you're a dead set legend, Ace. That doesn't mean you couldn't have regrets, but I'm not surprised you don't!

Don't get me wrong.....there's been some "less than pleasant" experiences along the way (including an arrest), but even still...

Appreciate the compliment!

[+ Charlie]

When I was an impecunious graduate student, I decided to try hustling. It was before the Internet (actually, it was before the invention of the personal computer) or cell phones, so I went downtown in Philly and tried to do it on the street. A couple of guys showed interest but had nowhere to go, and then a guy offered to take me to his apartment. The experience quickly taught me that I was not cut out to perform with someone to whom I would not have been sexually attracted anyway. I pocketed the only money I have ever received for having sex with someone, but never tried it again. I developed a lot of respect for those who can perform on demand.

[+ sniper]

I don't think I ever could have done it myself, but when I was young and in shape I was watching performers at the Gaiety when one older patron walked past me and said "you should be up there!" In retrospect, I wonder if that was an opening to a negotiation that I failed to pick up on...by the time I was uninhibited enough to consider it, alas, the body was no longer suitable for that marketspace.

I got to know a fair number of male escorts over the years and a college buddy got to know a number of femal escorts and we would talk. In general the observation was that males were (generally, NOT always) much better able to wall it off from the rest of their lives as they were more likely doing it for extra money than for pure survival. Basically, just as women are more stigmatized for being sexually active, more of them seemed to have problems stemming from being sex workers. 

[cany10011]

8 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

Ohhhhhhh!   During the pandemic I participated in the Adonis sex shows via zoom as a panelist / co-host. One of the viewers sent me screenshots of the cam scenes I had done 20 years before. It was wild to me that A) this person had been in those yahoo chat room / video lobbies and B) found me attractive enough to save an image for 20 years and C) recognized me enough to put the two together despite not looking like a 20 year old anymore and D) knew exactly where those images were saved 20 years later to be able to share it with me 

My first reaction was damnnnnnnn I looked good when I was young. Second was God, I hope this isn’t the guy sending me anonymous hate letters threatening to expose me as a sexual deviant and sex trafficker. All in a day. 

I guess you cannot run for politics now  Or, then again you might get a lot of votes with your provocative videos

Edited July 11, 2023 by cany10011

[+ DrownedBoy]

6 hours ago, Charlie said:

When I was an impecunious graduate student, I decided to try hustling. It was before the Internet (actually, it was before the invention of the personal computer) or cell phones, so I went downtown in Philly and tried to do it on the street. A couple of guys showed interest but had nowhere to go, and then a guy offered to take me to his apartment. The experience quickly taught me that I was not cut out to perform with someone to whom I would not have been sexually attracted anyway. I pocketed the only money I have ever received for having sex with someone, but never tried it again. I developed a lot of respect for those who can perform on demand.

I guess I had it easy. I managed to get my baccalaureate with some help from an older boyfriend.

It's the stupid things I regret. I had a tech internship at a good company in college, and they had an internship-to-hire program. I blew one of my managers. I never did get that internship-to-hire offer. He said he pushed my name, but I don't think so.

[+ The Big Guy]

On 7/11/2023 at 6:15 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I guess I had it easy. I managed to get my baccalaureate with some help from an older boyfriend.

It's the stupid things I regret. I had a tech internship at a good company in college, and they had an internship-to-hire program. I blew one of my managers. I never did get that internship-to-hire offer. He said he pushed my name, but I don't think so.

In todays world, it is more likely the manager pushed against you out of a future fear he could lose his job over the incident. 

[Jamie21]

2 minutes ago, The Big Guy said:

In todays world, it is more likely the manager pushed against you out of a future fear he could lose his job over the incident. 

Or you lost out to someone who was more proficient at blowing. Always important to practice those skills, and swallow of course. 

[+ nycman]

On 7/11/2023 at 7:37 AM, Coolwave35 said:

I quickly realized it wasn’t for me

I mean, I knew you were a whore. I just never thought you’d be "bad" at it.

On 7/11/2023 at 12:25 PM, Charlie said:

It was before the Internet

Let’s be honest, there’s a 50-50 chance it was "before the telephone".

On 7/11/2023 at 12:25 PM, Charlie said:

I went downtown in Philly and tried to do it on the street.

You sold your ass on the Philly "Mary Go Round"?!?!
I knew we had more in common than just living in Philly. 

On 7/11/2023 at 7:15 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I blew one of my managers. I never did get that internship-to-hire offer.

Remind me not to ask you for a blow job at the next Palm Springs gathering. 
Every time I put out for a promotion/grade, I got the god damn promotion/grade. 

Without confirming or denying anything.
I have zero regrets. A boys gotta do what boys gotta do. 

[+ Coolwave35]

^^^^ this is the most hilarious post to wake up to. You pegged alllllllll of us hahahaha 

[IamAdamRose]

It was a means to an end….. got 3 men who take care of me & i dont have to work anymore for the mean while

[mike carey]

8 hours ago, nycman said:

I mean, I knew you were a whore. I just never thought you’d be "bad" at it.

Let’s be honest, there’s a 50-50 chance it was "before the telephone".

You sold your ass on the Philly "Mary Go Round"?!?!
I knew we had more in common than just living in Philly. 

Remind me not to ask you for a blow job at the next Palm Springs gathering. 
Every time I put out for a promotion/grade, I got the god damn promotion/grade. 

Without confirming or denying anything.
I have zero regrets. A boys gotta do what boys gotta do. 

Good grief, tell us what you really think!

[+ DrownedBoy]

6 hours ago, IamAdamRose said:

It was a means to an end

That sums it up. When you're young and men with money drool after you, take their money. Use that to get an education, start making good money yourself, and pass it down. Generational cycle.

[+ nycman]

On 7/15/2023 at 8:34 AM, arnemgreeves said:

I’d imagine a lot do regret it in some form. 

Only the ones who are bad at it.

[edinbrooklyn]

I know many people who regret bartending and waiting tables. You encounter many more assholes for far less reward.