Unprofessionalism

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 3/26/2023 at 7:45 PM, BtmBearDad said:

I think that makes a huge difference, as it’s coming from the provider vs a query from a “potential client”. In the latter, it does across as one is looking for full service on the cheap. 
 

Clearly. In my 20 plus years engaged in this hobby, and having engaged gents in multiple states, multiple countries, multiple continents I’ve never engaged one who advertised 30 minute rates - nor would I want to. 

I actually started offering 30 minute sessions: but it’s simply a menu item on my website. With there being so many sites not showing rates, or enough options for rates: I like to be creative. I offer 30 minutes all the way up to multi-hours and overnights.

30 minute sessions are popular in Europe and in female and trans providers. 
 

I get very few requests for half hours because most like the hour or 90 minute sessions. But I offer them as an incentive to get a start. I did one few weeks ago and it worked out as intended: he only had a short work break and I was needing to check out of my room soon. 
 

30 minute bookings come in handy during morning hotel visits when I’m busy, or for clients who just wish to s**k c**k only to finish, which usually doesn’t take more than 15-20 minutes of our time.

On 3/26/2023 at 7:43 PM, ttm269 said:

I think you are missing a point too. I’m not upset by the fact he doesn’t offer a 30 min rate. Like I said, I have had some providers say they don’t offer 30 mins. Totally fine. My issue was with the way he responded (with the whole $60…10 mins comment). He could’ve ignored or responded in a more decent way. Nothing wrong with being kind and professional in the way you communicate with people. It’s common human decency. Seems to me like you all are excusing his toxicity by chastising me for asking an innocent question. 

I think what set him off was the word: sorry. I once heard a judge say: “Don’t say sorry, you’re admitting to guilt”. In your case, you made the assumption of being guilty of a timewaster, even if that wasn’t your intent. 
 

I think you should have countered your offer then, versus leave the conversation hanging.

I will admit though: I don’t side with that particular escort’s response because volunteering $60 is putting words in your mouth, which just isn’t mature. I think he lost his cool (which many of us do at times)…but I disagree that you were at fault. The escort should have had a better way of dealing with the question, it’s not like you said, “I only have $60” in which case, he could have said he doesn’t have sessions for $60. 

However, I don’t think scolding and talking smack back and forth did any Justice either. I dislike when clients try to argue with me. No need to get offended and sassy. Proper thing would have been to say, “oh no of course I wouldn’t lowball you for $60, lol. I was moreso thinking like $250 for 30 minutes”. 
 

But I wouldn’t even do that because it’s like kissing up to someone who’s already accuse you of being cheap…which idk, don’t feel is good etiquette.
 

On 3/27/2023 at 1:27 AM, APPLE1 said:

I think the provider could have responded more appropriately by saying something like "I don't do less than an hour meeting." However, just because someone throws the bitchy ball, it doesn't require that you catch it and throw it back. Personally, I always find that dodging it keeps internal strife down.

On that note, I would have respond with something like "I am busy at work and only have 30 mins. I was hoping for a 30 min, $250 session. If that doesn't work for you, I understand."

Perfect…

And yes, the bitchy ball is thrown around far too much. This is another reason I ask for deposits on my site. Few clients argue much about that. It’s either do or don’t. Saves a lot of time bickering back and forth with people over rates. 
 

One guy 100 miles away in Orange County California said lmao 🤣 and blocked me when I asked him to send a $15 Consultation fee because: he asked for a session in 2 days, but couldn’t host nor had a specific time in mind on the day he asked for…And didn’t send deposit either. So why the heck would I even put any thought into that? So just to test him further, I asked and sure enough: he scurried away. If $15 offends him, certainly my full hour session is way out of his reach.

I got a good laugh too because I booked someone that day who did send a deposit, and I hosted. 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

19 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Don't ask for less than an hour.

It sounds cheap and tacky.

 

Because it IS cheap and tacky.

Were I the provider who received this message I would have simply deleted and not even bothered responding.

The fact that he did respond was an expression of his warranted disgust.

I don't view his response as unprofessional. I view the request to be rude and disrespectful.

Edited March 28, 2023 by pubic_assistance
punctuation

[+ sync]

In my view it's all on the provider.  A professional response on the order of "no, I do not offer 30-minute sessions" would have been a better option.

[MassageAdam]

Just to play devil's advocate, I have had several providers (only in Europe) who I hired (and paid) for an hour and they finished in 30 minutes.  When I confronted them about it, they say "Oh, my rate is up to an hour, if I finish in 30 minutes then, you get 30 min".  I mean I would never ask for a 30 min session, but people here saying that a provider can't be done in 30, well... it can be done.

[RadioRob]

50 minutes ago, MassageAdam said:

Just to play devil's advocate, I have had several providers (only in Europe) who I hired (and paid) for an hour and they finished in 30 minutes.  When I confronted them about it, they say "Oh, my rate is up to an hour, if I finish in 30 minutes then, you get 30 min".  I mean I would never ask for a 30 min session, but people here saying that a provider can't be done in 30, well... it can be done.

My general concept is that I'm not paying for an "activity".  I'm paying for time.  There's other things we can be doing outside of one activity... even if it's laying in bed cuddling and chit chatting for a bit once finished.

Regarding "can't be done" in 30 minutes...  over the years I've learned to never say never when discussing what's possible.  With that said, personally I don't typically walk into a room and get to the main act within the first couple of minutes.  There is typically a little time for pleasantries, the "warm up", the main act, and finally the cool down/wrap up.  While it's possible to cut a few corners, it lessens the overall experience for me.  Trying to do that all within 30 minutes would not be much of an experience at all.  

[Guest]

3 hours ago, sync said:

In my view it's all on the provider.  A professional response on the order of "no, I do not offer 30-minute sessions" would have been a better option.

Well, as I said previously, I do agree that the provider initially should have been a little more polite and answered the simple yes/no question with a simple no and an explanation. However, the potential customer really ramped up the rudeness, adding some BS story about being too busy at work to add to the insult. As Miss Manners has pointed out in her column over the years, it's not a good idea to counter rudeness with more rudeness. Nor is it polite to correct someone's etiquette unless specifically asked to do so. 

I can remember once entering a building while I was texting someone. I hadn't noticed that someone was holding the door open for me, and he or she (I can't remember) loudly said "YOU'RE WELCOME!". It occurred to me that this sarcastic "You're welcome!" was ruder than my failing to notice/thank the door holder. But I was not about to turn to the door holder and tell him that his intentional rudeness was worse than my unintentional behavior. I suppose most of us have probably given into the temptation to counter rudeness with more rudeness on occasion. But it's wisest to try to stay polite oneself. 

I therefore think it's an exaggeration to say it's all on the provider, though perhaps the seed was started in the first reply. 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Unicorn

[+ nycman]

Question: do you have a rate for 30 min

Answer: 300.

Question asked and answered.

After that….you asked for a cunty tirade and got one. 

Case closed. 

[+ sync]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

However, the potential customer really ramped up the rudeness, adding some BS story about being too busy at work to add to the insult.

You've lost me, what was the insult?

[BuffaloKyle]

The moral here from reading this thread is almost all Canadian/American rentmen providers don't offer 30 min rates. The minimum time they book is gonna be an hour. Now depending on what you wanna do is how you can get a lesser rate. I'm a top and when I hit up another top provider for example on rentmen and inquire about a body worship and oral service session with no anal they usually more often than not will lower their normal one hour rate down by either $50 or $100.

Edited March 28, 2023 by BuffaloKyle

[Jaroslav]

On 3/27/2023 at 4:42 AM, Jamie21 said:

I’d say you’re both at fault. He was rude and you haggled over price. 
His rate is 300. That’s it, the starting rate. Looks like from the exchange that he expects to bottom. So he has to prep etc whether you book 30 mins or 3 hours. 
I don’t take bookings for less than an hour. It’s just not worth it and it seems that’s his view too, it’s not unusual. Often clients looking for half hour sessions are the same ones who haggle over price. Most guys I know will take a very dim view of haggling. It’s like saying to the provider “you have valued yourself at X per hour but I don’t think you’re worth that so I’m offering Y per hour”. That’s a poor start to what you hope will be a good session. For this reason, as soon as a client questions my rate I know for sure that they won’t book because I’m not reducing it nor am I going to do anything to facilitate the booking. That’s what he did….his response was that of someone who has already decided you’re not the type of client he needs. He could have been a little less blunt: “Sorry, I don’t do anything for less than $300”. 

This is the most reasonable response here.

From my perspective, both sides clearly are forgetting it’s people, not things. There’s little respect here from either direction.

[Jaroslav]

5 hours ago, RadioRob said:

My general concept is that I'm not paying for an "activity".  I'm paying for time.  There's other things we can be doing outside of one activity... even if it's laying in bed cuddling and chit chatting for a bit once finished.

Regarding "can't be done" in 30 minutes...  over the years I've learned to never say never when discussing what's possible.  With that said, personally I don't typically walk into a room and get to the main act within the first couple of minutes.  There is typically a little time for pleasantries, the "warm up", the main act, and finally the cool down/wrap up.  While it's possible to cut a few corners, it lessens the overall experience for me.  Trying to do that all within 30 minutes would not be much of an experience at all.  

I’ve heard (not experienced) of guys cumming and going. Some clients are okay with that. Others want what they pay for, especially if it’s sold as time.

 I find the picking and choosing about if we’re paying for an activity or if we’re paying for time ingenuine. It can’t be time if you’re unhappy about the experience and it can’t be the experience if you’re unhappy about the time. Either we’re paying for time or we’re paying for experience, but you can’t pick and choose. And frankly, we all know it’s the experience. Call the sky green if you want, but we all know it’s blue no matter what you say (and maybe even believe).

[pubic_assistance]

25 minutes ago, Jaroslav said:

Either we’re paying for time or we’re paying for experience, but you can’t pick and choose.

I would think I'm paying for both.

Personally I find it really rude if I get a happy ending at the 30 minute mark and the masseur assumes he's done his job and he's packing up.  I paid for an hour I expect an hour.

I would equally find it rude if I got very turned on, 20 minutes in to an escort session, dropped my load and the session was declared finished. Some of us can cum more than ONCE in an hour 😉 . So don't assume the game is over after the first inning.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, sync said:

You've lost me, what was the insult?

The insult was the lie about being "too busy at work" to book a 60-minute session. The lie is so obvious and ridiculous that it insults the escort's intelligence. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, BuffaloKyle said:

The moral here from reading this thread is almost all Canadian/American rentmen providers don't offer 30 min rates. The minimum time they book is gonna be an hour. Now depending on what you wanna do is how you can get a lesser rate. I'm a top and when I hit up another top provider for example on rentmen and inquire about a body worship and oral service session with no anal they usually more often than not will lower their normal one hour rate down by either $50 or $100.

Since I'm also only into oral, I have the occasional escort voluntarily say "If that's all you want, I'll lower the fee" (since he won't have to worry about either prepping for the session or maintaining an erection). I also try to communicate what I want before I hear a price. That being said, I've never asked the escort to lower his fee just because the job might be easier than his average job. I only top in order to please someone who'll really enjoy it, or for trans men who haven't had bottom surgery. And I haven't bottomed in years. 

[Jamie21]

19 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Personally I find it really rude if I get a happy ending at the 30 minute mark and the masseur assumes he's done his job and he's packing up.  I paid for an hour I expect an hour.

Everyone is different. Some clients cum after say 40 minutes…and not by me being unskilled and failing to keep them bubbling away….they just get over excited and cum. Last summer I had a client laying on his front, half hour into a 90m massage shoot his load just because my cock was next to his face. “Jamie…I just cum” he said, and he called time. I asked if he wanted to continue, maybe cum again etc but for him he was satisfied and asked to use the shower. He paid me the full rate.

Another client who I first saw a couple of years ago did same after 15 minutes. Despite me trying to slow him down he didn’t want to relax so things rapidly developed and he shot his load. After that he was happy to lay down and receive a proper massage for the full time (with a second cum). He’s done the same thing every visit since that first time so now I just know that he likes to start like that. Everyone is different. 

[pubic_assistance]

30 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Everyone is different. 

Agreed.

But the assumption is that the client has the hour, so better to ask, than assume.

I would be the guy cumming after 20 minute and then again 15 minutes later.

Even if I were "finished' that way....I appreciate a bit of yoga stretching, foot massage or cranial to finish up the remaining minutes. Which most of the fellows I've used professionally have automatically offered.

It's really only been the rub n tug "spas" that try to get me off and out the door in half the time I paid for.

[Jamie21]

9 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Agreed.

But the assumption is that the client has the hour, so better to ask, than assume.

I would be the guy cumming after 20 minute and then again 15 minutes later.

Even if I were "finished' that way....I appreciate a bit of yoga stretching, foot massage or cranial to finish up the remaining minutes. Which most of the fellows I've used professionally have automatically offered.

It's really only been the rub n tug "spas" that try to get me off and out the door in half the time I paid for.

Yep always great to end with head massage. Some clients are asleep after 5 minutes of head massage 🙂

[+ sync]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

The insult was the lie about being "too busy at work" to book a 60-minute session. The lie is so obvious and ridiculous that it insults the escort's intelligence. 

Wow!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, nycman said:

Cunty Tirade

My new favorite drag name.

[+ DrownedBoy]

3 hours ago, Unicorn said:

Since I'm also only into oral, I have the occasional escort voluntarily say "If that's all you want, I'll lower the fee"

Ha! Got that too (I won't receive oral, only perform it). In some ways, RM can be just like Grindr.

I recall one Chicago provider who, years ago, offered a 30 minute "quickie." I thought that was a bit tacky. (I later tried to hire the guy for an hour, but he wasn't into my stuff)

[DWnyc]

As with many such provocateur questions here I think there really isn’t a right or wrong answer.

I would assume some providers would jump at the chance to make extra $ by offering this option.

Some would say it’s not worth the effort of preparing, risk of flaking etc.

Some would be insulted.

Some would interpret as naivety on how the business seems to work.

So in the absence of clearly defined guidelines, throw it all out there and see what sticks! 

 

[Jaroslav]

On 3/28/2023 at 5:00 PM, Jamie21 said:

Everyone is different. Some clients cum after say 40 minutes…and not by me being unskilled and failing to keep them bubbling away….they just get over excited and cum. Last summer I had a client laying on his front, half hour into a 90m massage shoot his load just because my cock was next to his face. “Jamie…I just cum” he said, and he called time. I asked if he wanted to continue, maybe cum again etc but for him he was satisfied and asked to use the shower. He paid me the full rate.

Another client who I first saw a couple of years ago did same after 15 minutes. Despite me trying to slow him down he didn’t want to relax so things rapidly developed and he shot his load. After that he was happy to lay down and receive a proper massage for the full time (with a second cum). He’s done the same thing every visit since that first time so now I just know that he likes to start like that. Everyone is different. 

But that was mutually respectful. Mutually. Therein lies the difference.

I’m giving the OP or the escort a pass here. Both were clearly in effective communicators, or at least lacking standard decorum.

I also don’t know that I’d say too busy for an hour is a lie. If it is, I’m pretty sure escorts have lied about their scheduling to me too. Not because I want 30 minutes but because their reasons for canceling last minute suggest they lost interest, got a more exciting offer, or even an offer that was willing to pay more than me. An escort who agrees and then when it’s time for me to come to him or him to be backs out, or doesn’t communicate anymore, is one who’s lied by the logic that the OP lied about being busy with work.

[+ APPLE1]

So... I typically see members in these discussions remind folks to look at the issue from both the client and provider sides. At least twice, by travelling/visiting providers, I have been offered 30 min sessions when I requested an hour. I was a first time client reaching out them. Should I be assuming there is something wrong with these providers and throw up red flags? Are we going to add disparaging comments about @Jarrod_Uncut or other providers because they have offered 30 mins sessions? (@Jarrod_Uncut - "NO, we shouldn't" would be my answer, in case it wasn't obvious). 

My favorite line in here comes from @DWnyc - "... in the absence of clearly defined guidelines, throw it all out there and see what sticks," and as many have said here, obviously, the WAY you throw it all out there, can have significant effect on the direction the interaction takes

[Becket]

IMHO a session is a "professional" hour. Whether it lasts 10 minutes or 60, I get done what I need to get done then get my ass home. I can't remember ever looking at a clock, or getting bent out of shape about time spent. Just cum and go, man. 

[Jaroslav]

4 minutes ago, Becket said:

IMHO a session is a "professional" hour. Whether it lasts 10 minutes or 60, I get done what I need to get done then get my ass home. I can't remember ever looking at a clock, or getting bent out of shape about time spent. Just cum and go, man. 

What if it takes 70 minutes?