Jaroslav

I always have it off. Not because I care who knows I’ve looked per se, but more because I think it’s creeperish.

Why is this disposition such a common theme? Do people enjoy thinking of themselves in some category above others who “can’t afford?” I know quite a few extremely wealthy folks who would travel miles and miles to save pennies on the dollar…Not because they can’t afford the same thing closer, but because they won’t pay for something when they can get it cheaper elsewhere (irrespective of the fact they end up likely spending more overall to avoid a higher sticker price). Some people just don’t want to throw away their money even if they could. I don’t find lording ability to pay over those who aren’t in the same financial situation especially endearing; in fact, it’s off-putting.

This. I’ve seen providers on their personal websites list “patronage” rates though. I find this very useful. It eliminates a lot of headache about discussing rates. You know going in what they’ll want for a weekend before you even text. 👍🏻

Race (age, wealth, education, weight, etc) should be immaterial since rate is allegedly strictly for time.

Working in a service profession, I actually have come to value highly my interactions with those who are deemed “undesirable” by wider society. Often those who popular wisdom would have want to emulate and adulate really aren’t worthy of it. It’s a trope, to be sure, but their beauty is only skin deep…and their values confined to their wallet.

And there are nonetheless such guys who advertise precisely this in their profiles! It makes me wonder about the guys who do hire them.

I might venture to go even further and say part of being a professional escort is providing physical/sexual intimacy to precisely those who can’t get it easily without paying for it. The service is for the “less than desirable” to some degree. Not exclusively, of course, but to a degree.

@DWnyc, when I first started doing all of this years ago, I was stupid enough to send pictures of myself. I don’t know what the mathematical breakdown is, but of those providers who requested a picture of me, I would say that my estimate is that more than half of them simply stop communicating with me after they got the picture. Now, I’m not what you might call your stereo typically attractive, gay man. So that probably played into the immediate cessation of communication at this stage, it’s me who says it’s not going work out if a picture of me is required in order to book. But I also don’t just simply stop texting. I say that I don’t do that and thank him for his time and move on. I think that a lot of the time asking for a picture is a providers way of determining whether he wants to provide. A way of gauging attractiveness.

@Jamie21, but you’re also a masseur, primarily, yes? That’s going to take more than 30 minutes. At 30 minutes into a massage, erotic or otherwise, I’m just unwinding. Massages are different than hooking up. You can hookup, if you’re so minded, in less than 10 minutes. Now – quality is another issue, but quantity isn’t really. You can blow a guy in 30 seconds for $50 behind the bar if you’re so minded.

I’m not a fan of it myself either. I’m saying it happens. N-U-A-N-C-E and reading comprehension are helpful tools. I’d be all for all Rentmen ads including rates for hourly sessions, BFEs, weekends, vacations, etc. But it’s not always there. So we have to ask. And if the escort says, “What are you offering,” that’s on the escort for starting the negotiation/haggling.

@SirBillybob, I understand your prose just fine and enjoy it. It’s nice to read something written by someone who clearly possesses a vocabulary larger than your quotidian troglodyte.

Or you should accept reality and not impose some fantasy of your own concoction. If you insist on continuing in that fantasy, that, my friend, we call deluuuuuusional.

It was levity. I don’t go there. So no. I can’t. Nor would I. But…Show me the store where escorts sit in a booth with prices hanging off their dicks for me go browse and I’ll accept the one-for-one comparison between escorts and US big box stores…

I may not be an escort. But I am a client. An experienced client. And I’ve had escorts set up interactions that will lead to negotiations (test my limits) by asking what I’m offering in response to a simple inquiry about rate. That sets the table for negotiation. Likewise I’ve had escorts undercut me. Multiple escorts, so it’s not one off. Don’t shit on a plate and tell me it’s chocolate. Don’t insult my intelligence and gaslight by saying, “Well, that’s not really negotiating” or “The provider has a set price.” It’s simply not always true.

If said escort is late, I expect a cut rate without question. Or extended time. If that’s off the table for you, shut your sanctimonious mouth. I’ve had escorts take my money, expect my money for the full time and be hours late. It’s not about fairness and ethics here as you seem to naively and stupidly insist. I as the client don’t have any obligation to pay for time promised but not spent with me. You’re making me angry by myopically insisting that only clients seek to undercut here. You’re also imposing British expectations on an American market. Also annoyingly blind to nuance and circumstances.

I don’t have it anymore figured out than anyone else who’s not an escort. But just because you say it’s so doesn’t make it so. The whole point of this thread is honesty and clarity of communication. But clarity removes the leverage providers have over clients (in escorting and in business in general) so of course there’s a desire to maintain ambiguity.

Sounds like snark.

@SirBillybob, fascinating perspective, and one definitely worth considering more deeply. I definitely love my job but I am also definitely underappreciated by those I work with. That’s the reality for many. I couldn’t imagine doing something else because in part, I’m not in it for the money. Although money is obviously important. decency goes along way. Particularly in industries that want to style themselves “service.“ If you’re truly serving, then you’re going to come out on the short end of the stick. The nature of servanthood and service is to be diminutive. Anybody who works in any type of service needs to accept that going in. Does it mean that at times I don’t get cynical or even resentful? By no means. But it’s important to ground yourself in the choice that you made. Is escorting a service profession? A service job? Is it closer to therapist or waiter? We sometimes compare it to dentistry. Sometimes to airlines. Which is it? Am I approaching a guy who does this largely for the pleasure of his clients or am I approaching a guy who sees clients as a sad-but-necessary burden? A Facebook friend posted this, given his work around the Easter holiday as a musician: It seems that some work we’re A-okay saying, “You do XYZ uncompensated,” while others we say, “To expect any one minute dedicated to work without pay is unethical!” I call hypocrisy! I’ve found to be effective at my job I do a helluva lot more work than I’m fairly compensated for. Hey! Maybe I should become an escort 🤣

Only absent negotiation! Love the numerical classification. It may seem crass but the anal retentiveness some here have about being comped for every second or it’s a waste of time leads to such crass reductionism! I get a salary. A salary way under the salaries of many in other fields with similar levels of education but a salary nonetheless. I also work 70-80 hours a week and am on call 24/7. My only real me time is if I declare to my workplace I’m incommunicado. So to hear that you need to be compensated for every second you dedicate to work does ruffle my feathers. So, the question really comes down to if escorting is paying for an experience or paying for time. If it’s a rate per event or a rate per hour. Of course, we are going to say it’s both because sometimes it’s advantageous to negotiate an experiential price and sometimes it’s advantageous to negotiate a timely price. We – client and provider – want to maximize gain and minimize cost. Unless of course you like throwing money around. Some do. I find gaudy shows of exorbitant profligacy tacky.

While we’re talking about huge corporations that have set public prices: cruise lines. They advertise deals all the time. Upgrade packages, etc. When are escorts going to give clients a limited time discount? Where’s my upgrade offer? Come on! This is what businesses do! If you want me to think you’re a business like any other, I want my promotional junk mail in the USPS and my email inbox! Where’s my buy-one-get-the-second-free offer like Norwegian Cruises offers?! 😂

But seriously…who still goes to Best Buy?

@dwnyc

A coworker told me I should write off the cost of escorts on my taxes as business-related expenses because it’s “self care retreat time” necessitated by our work. Imagine that! If that were allowable, even conceivably possible, I’d consider escorts a regulated commodity. As such, it’s neither.