Jaroslav

I didn’t. And those who would be out to get us don’t either. Because…obviously we all know what’s going on. If an officer pulls you over and says you’re going 15 mph over the speed limit, you might say you’re not speeding, you’re going with the flow of traffic, but the fact is we all know you’re over the limit no matter what you say.

No.

That sounds like a deflection. I don’t pay people to be my friends. Friends spend time together. My friends and I do things for each. Favors. Sometimes things with no reciprocity. Sometimes in our professional wheelhouse as well. We don’t “transact” such favors. That’s what friends do. My barber is a friend. He never charges me for my haircut. Just an example. If you’d maintain the same relationship ceteris paribus without a financial transaction with these providers, then you’re friends as I see it. Otherwise it’s a client-provider relationship that’s friendly. Which is good, but not a friendship. IMHO

@Rod Hagen– Would you consider circumstances where you spend time and have physical intimacy with these friends if money weren’t coming your way?

He had the audacity to follow up with me for a cam show. I didn’t dignify it wirh a response.

@TruHart1, that’s why I want to have a telephone call before booking. And if the escort wants to book a hiring date before we’ve each sent three texts, he’s likely uninterested in providing anything more than cumming and going. Some guys want that. I do not. Like escorts can sense a time waster, I can sense someone out to use me.

I have a friend I text first thing every morning. If he didn’t hear from me by noon, he’d be coming over to my place.

I’m surprised to hear RM is only $30/month. The way some providers on here have talked about the cost of having a profile on there I would have thought it was a lot more. It seems to me some time back when I sponsored a guy on RM I paid more than $30 to do it. But that was so long ago I honestly forget.

With inflation, people are looking to maximize their buck either way – clients don’t have the same spending power and escorts need more spending power. In order to secure any business, I can see some escorts dropping the price. Luxury goods (of which escorts technically are) often see their prices *fall* during times of inflation.

He’s the reason I don’t pay deposits. I paid him a deposit to come to me and his Uber but he never showed up for the Uber and ghosted.

I posed the question because, well, it’s not about the time! Except when it is. My experience has been it’s not about the time with escorts that care about the service. Again – it goes back to mutual respect.

Finally! Someone who’s honest!

What if it takes 70 minutes?

But that was mutually respectful. Mutually. Therein lies the difference. I’m giving the OP or the escort a pass here. Both were clearly in effective communicators, or at least lacking standard decorum. I also don’t know that I’d say too busy for an hour is a lie. If it is, I’m pretty sure escorts have lied about their scheduling to me too. Not because I want 30 minutes but because their reasons for canceling last minute suggest they lost interest, got a more exciting offer, or even an offer that was willing to pay more than me. An escort who agrees and then when it’s time for me to come to him or him to be backs out, or doesn’t communicate anymore, is one who’s lied by the logic that the OP lied about being busy with work.

I prefer the German hesitancy to label people Freund. They stick with Kollege, Kommilitone, or Bekannte. Freunde are those who are especially close, maybe even physically so. I’d say escorts are Bekannte in most instances. Nonetheless, Bekannte can be friendly (freundlich) and it’s rude, in my opinion, to ghost even as a Bekannte. The whole ghosting phenomenon in our world today is really a lack of respect and failure to appreciate someone else’s dignity. Would it *really* kill someone to say “I’m done” – even if said rudely? I suppose if you don’t give a fuck, it doesn’t matter.

Eh. There I disagree. A friendship is different. Friendships don’t depend on “business doing well.” In fact, friendships will overcome difficulties quicker than transitional relationships. A friend doesn’t just disappear when the going gets tough. Again, not a problem as long as it’s kept in perspective. As you say, you can be friendly with your doctor, but you’re not friends.

@DWnyc, he didn’t say we’re done. That’s partly why I asked about ghosting. No such message ever was received. He always complained about people not being decent enough to communicate even if it was unpleasant, but then he seemingly does the same thing. I need to take my own wisdom and remember that escorts aren’t friends and you can’t expect them to act that way.

Ask. The very fact that you're asking here about a change in dynamic suggests that you care more about the relationship you have with him than he does with you, which is in some ways a problem. Escorts, while they may be friendly, aren't our friends as long as they're taking our money. If you offer more money for what you want above and beyond what you've been doing with him, and he doesn't accept, then that's just the way it is. He's more than likely not going to think differently of you because your'e a client and he has other clients. Be careful of thinking the escort feels any kind of loyalty to you because of a historic past good relationship. Your loyalty and concern for him is probably, likely greater than his is to yours. That isn't to say that escorts are bad people or aren't friendly. They're just in this for the work component of it – otherwise they wouldn't be looking to get paid. As long as money is transacted every single time you get together, it's not a business relationship, not a friendship no matter how friendly you may be. I'm friendly with the dentist, but he's not going to check out my mouth for free.

I’ve heard (not experienced) of guys cumming and going. Some clients are okay with that. Others want what they pay for, especially if it’s sold as time. I find the picking and choosing about if we’re paying for an activity or if we’re paying for time ingenuine. It can’t be time if you’re unhappy about the experience and it can’t be the experience if you’re unhappy about the time. Either we’re paying for time or we’re paying for experience, but you can’t pick and choose. And frankly, we all know it’s the experience. Call the sky green if you want, but we all know it’s blue no matter what you say (and maybe even believe).

This is the most reasonable response here. From my perspective, both sides clearly are forgetting it’s people, not things. There’s little respect here from either direction.

I am an instant pot prophet! I absolutely love my instant pot!

I understand the spirit of this, but the one who is getting paid does work for the one paying. You can set the parameters of what you offer when, but ultimately the escort is working…hence why I’m paying. You’re working with someone if I ask you to bring another escort to work with you. Arranging a mutually agreeable time to meet isn’t working with me. It’s arranging an appointment. And it’s especially not working with me if you tell me you’re availability and I have to accommodate you. Working with you in that sense means you’re just as willing to restructure your schedule for me as I am for you. I’ve hired very few escorts who will make changes to their schedules for me.

I find it incredibly gobsmacking just how poor at communicating some providers are. When I hire, I want a BFE, so communicating is important for when we’re not fucking. If basic communication is a struggle, then the meetup is going to be poor.

I’ve used a friend’s air fryer when over at his place making dinner. I loved it. It’s my next kitchen gadget.

I understand there’s a topic of this from 2022. There’s a thread here about social texting and the fuzzy etiquette around that. What do you make of a regular provider who has engaged in minimal social texting every few days, sometimes every few weeks, who has said that courtesy means communicating, even if it’s to say we’re done communicating BUT then ghosts? Is the original statement about not dropping you like a used condom to be believed or is such behavior indicative that you’ve been ghosted and said provider is in fact no longer a provider for you, let alone a regular?