Hiring straight guys

[Whatsupandstuff]

14 minutes ago, newdad said:

I just googled that guy, and he's a stud. Is he still active in porn and/or providing?

no and no..but we have stayed in touch. close to 50 yrs old now 

[BtmBearDad]

This was a very interesting read! Lots of turns in the conversation, and theories I didn’t see coming, or ever considered. I think my view is far more simple. 

I think most guys realise at puberty which way their ship is going to sail - Hetero or Homo. But there are still going to those guys on the SS Hetero who remain curious about life on the SS Homo. Some will board the SS Homo, and realise it’s not for them, others will abandon the SS Hetero all together, and then a few others will be happy signing up for tours on both ships in turn. 

I’ve had encounters, relations, experimentations with a number of my friends during those HS and uni years. Some wound up gay, others wound up married family men. We’re all still close, and I see them regularly. Our past doesn’t matter - sometimes it’s joked about or referenced, but mostly not. 
I do think at some point tho - gay or straight - you have to stop calling it “curiosity” or “extermination” and just own up about what you like. Sometimes it can be a learning process in terms of accepting oneself. I knew a guy years ago, bartended at one of the well known gay bars/clubs since closed. He was, as to be expected, beautiful - muscled, killer smile, great ass, great package, you get the drift. Anyway, as I got to know him, he shared how at that time he was newish to m2m sex, how he was dating a pre-op trans woman because he felt as much as he loved dick, he still needed the tits. I didn’t get it, but it worked for him, so what does my not getting it matter, right? That first lover was his first step in accepting himself - he did wind up going from a preop transwoman, to a very femme boy, to a twunky guy, to a jock, to finally his partner now who I would describe as a muscle bear/ex college jock with a few pounds type of guy. I’m sure at some point, maybe even many points he questioned who he was, what he was attracted to, etc. - but I think we as friends just need to accept however someone identifies, and be aware that such an identity can be subject to change too.

As far as this hobby goes, I don’t hire straight gents, and I rarely hire bi guys. It’s my own little version of “shop local” - keeping the business with the actual gay lads. While I’m not naive enough to delude myself into thinking a provider is actually attracted to me, that is part of his role, and IMO, a gay guy can be far more convincing. That’s a big part of what we’re all paying for - the fantasy, right? 

Anyway, just my tuppence. 
BBD 

[newdad]

28 minutes ago, BtmBearDad said:

I didn’t get it, but it worked for him, so what does my not getting it matter, right? That first lover was his first step in accepting himself - he did wind up going from a preop transwoman, to a very femme boy, to a twunky guy, to a jock, to finally his partner now who I would describe as a muscle bear/ex college jock with a few pounds type of guy. I’m sure at some point, maybe even many points he questioned who he was, what he was attracted to, etc.

Really good post @BtmBearDad, and just to add, maybe he was each of that for every particular moment of time. Some people would label that as a "journey" to homosexuality and would say that your friend was just "in denial" at first or had "phases". However, most people fail to recognize that sexuality does fluctuate. Your friend was probably in love with that transwoman, that femme boy, that jock, and that muscle bear at that particular moment in time.

 

EDIT: words

Edited February 12, 2023 by newdad

[Tonyko]

I have several older gentleman friends who are overweight or not in good shape, they do little to enhance their appearance and are self-admittedly non desirable, and they ALL hire exclusively Str8 guys to service and play with simply bc to a Str8 guy there is NO diff between THEM and Chris Hemsworth.  They're not into guys.   Good hygiene is pretty much all that matters to them.  It kinda makes sense. 

[newdad]

Don't most straight guys who escort advertise themselves as "bisexual" because there's a market that will never hire straights?

[GTMike]

7 minutes ago, newdad said:

Don't most straight guys who escort advertise themselves as "bisexual" because there's a market that will never hire straights?

I don't know of anyone who can say with confidence and more importantly accuracy an answer to that definitively representing "most".

I can anectodally say I've met plenty of legit straight guys participating in the escort community who advertise consistently with their personal behavior and some who don't as your question explores.

[pubic_assistance]

17 minutes ago, newdad said:

Don't most straight guys who escort advertise themselves as "bisexual" because there's a market that will never hire straights?

My personal experience would be the other way around.

Bisexual men advertising as "straight" is a successful marketing tool for part of the marketplace of men who have sex with men.

I am attracted to masculine straight acting men, and turned off by effeminate gay acting men. So I'm part of the audience they are marketing to.

[BtmBearDad]

14 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

My personal experience would be the other way around.

I agree - I have known some legitimate “gold card gays” who advertised themselves as “bi” as a marketing ploy. One in fact billed himself as “straight” for the same reason. It feeds into a lot of fantasies many hobbyists have, and makes the provider that much more attractive. 🤷🏼‍♂️

BBD 

[misterhumphries]

14 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

My personal experience would be the other way around.

Bisexual men advertising as "straight" is a successful marketing tool for part of the marketplace of men who have sex with men.

I am attracted to masculine straight acting men, and turned off by effeminate gay acting men. So I'm part of the audience they are marketing to.

straight-acting? I thought we (as gay men) had advanced beyond this stereotype. 

[BtmBearDad]

Just now, misterhumphries said:

straight-acting? I thought we (as gay men) had advanced beyond this stereotype. 

I’d say “yes” but don’t forget, there is a not insignificant number of hobbyists who while they are, do not identify as “gay” because of unresolved internal homophobic issues. They want “a man” not “a gay”. A man who is “straight acting”, not a gay who lisps, and listens to Liza, Judy, and Barbra.

I don’t agree with any of it, I’m just acknowledging this mindset still exists in 2023, both in the world and in these forums 🤷🏼‍♂️
 

BBD 

[pubic_assistance]

7 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

I thought we (as gay men) had advanced beyond this stereotype. 

NO. Gay men like to pretend they have no idea what that means.

Ignoring something doesn't make the obvious not obvious to others.

[studchaser]

On 2/13/2023 at 7:56 PM, pubic_assistance said:

NO. Gay men like to pretend they have no idea what that means.

Ignoring something doesn't make the obvious not obvious to others.

Im sure if you go to a place where there are all gay guys and all straight guys there will be no difference. I wonder how we would tell them apart? 🙄

[BtmBearDad]

7 minutes ago, studchaser said:

I wonder how we would tell them apart? 🙄

Clearly the gents dressed like Rip Taylor and Liberace, speaking like Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilly, and chatting about Barbra, Liza, and Judy would be the gays. 😝

[studchaser]

4 minutes ago, BtmBearDad said:

Clearly the gents dressed like Rip Taylor and Liberace, speaking like Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilly, and chatting about Barbra, Liza, and Judy would be the gays. 😝

Barbra Liza Judy Beth

Those are names I shan't forget.

You are out of touch BottomBesr it would be all Beyonce and Lady Gaga now. 

 

 

 

 

[pubic_assistance]

When I was in High School, ( 1980s) nobody talked about being gay. But everyone knew who was gay. It's not that difficult.

What you couldn't pick out were the bisexuals.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The self-loathing on this thread is palpable, sad and funny.

Entertainment value alone makes me recommend it keep going.

[pubic_assistance]

6 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The self-loathing on this thread is palpable,

What "self loathing " ?  People are attracted to who they are attracted to.

You can't apply modern social justice theory to sexual attraction.

Sexual attraction doesn't spend time thinking about what's "fair" or equal.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01332-y

[BtmBearDad]

19 minutes ago, studchaser said:

Barbra Liza Judy Beth

Those are names I shan't forget.

You are out of touch BottomBesr it would be all Beyonce and Lady Gaga now. 

 

 

 

 

Very true! I guess I was thinking of the demographic of these boards 😜

[BtmBearDad]

22 minutes ago, studchaser said:

Barbra Liza Judy Beth

Who is the “Beth”? I’m drawing a blank 🤷🏼‍♂️

[studchaser]

15 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The self-loathing on this thread is palpable, sad and funny.

Entertainment value alone makes me recommend it keep going.

Benji,

Do you believe someone is a racist for not liking Black men or Asian men?  Alot of Black lives matter types are Jim Crow in the bedroom. They like what they like and dont give two fuks. 

I can say this if good looks matter to you or cok size is  the pinnacle then you will find other gay men will wok just fine. However if you are looking for that Rob Gronkowski dumb jock,Mike Tyson/50 cent bad ass type, etc you have a slim to none chance of inding it outside the straight community and its just how things are. The vibes are just different. Sonme ppl dont see it,dont wanna see it or pretrnd they dont. Those that do cant pretend and cant be shamed outta of it. 

 

Some will call it loathing,internal homophobia or...fill in the blanks. It probably doesnt matter one bit to them because for them sex is only sex if its with a certain type. After lusting after Brian Bosworth,The Rock,John Cena, Joe Manganiello ,Gronk there is no turning back. If you could meet with god like creatures of that caliber(maybe without the fame) with the attitude to match do you think anyone on earth could tell you anything? 

 

[studchaser]

17 minutes ago, BtmBearDad said:

Who is the “Beth”? I’m drawing a blank 🤷🏼‍♂️

I was saw it on Will and Grace where Sean Hayes character finds out he has a son and is teaching him the important things in life and says those lines "Barbra liza judy beth these are bames i shabt forget". I assume its Bett Midler. 

[+ Lucky]

59 minutes ago, BtmBearDad said:

Clearly the gents dressed like Rip Taylor and Liberace, speaking like Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilly, and chatting about Barbra, Liza, and Judy would be the gays. 😝

I don't dress like Rip or Liberace, don't speak like Paul or CNR, and I don't have any interest in Barb, Liz or Judy. But I am proudly gay. Stereotypes are what you are presenting.

[BtmBearDad]

10 minutes ago, Lucky said:

I don't dress like Rip or Liberace, don't speak like Paul or CNR, and I don't have any interest in Barb, Liz or Judy. But I am proudly gay. Stereotypes are what you are presenting.

That was my point - a poster upthread remarked how one could easily tell the gay guys from the straight guys, another replied rather tongue in cheek, how could one tell if all were in the same room, thus my snarky reply - directed at the first poster’s statement.

[pubic_assistance]

41 minutes ago, Lucky said:

Stereotypes are what you are presenting.

As is often quoted and is true:  All stereotypes are based in some truth.

Does everyone from any group NEED to follow the stereotype ? NO. But do stereotypes come from commonality within the group ? YES

[DWnyc]

On 2/13/2023 at 7:48 PM, misterhumphries said:

straight-acting? I thought we (as gay men) had advanced beyond this stereotype. 

Have you been on any dating sights lately?? 😊