is this the "new normal" attitude?

[xyz48B]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s a difficult one. Clients make a few visits, the sessions go well, we chat and get to know each other. Some then consider themselves ‘friends’.

When the provider says something akin to “I hope you consider me among your friends,” that’s different than me thinking because we hit off, that we’re friends. That word/line is manipulative coming from a provider.

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

When the provider says something akin to “I hope you consider me among your friends,” that’s different than me thinking because we hit off, that we’re friends. That word/line is manipulative coming from a provider.

Unless it’s genuine….

[xyz48B]

48 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Unless it’s genuine….

And how are you to know? Like I said, I had two providers who wanted me to know they considered me friends as long as the gifts and money and trips kept coming. But when I went MIA because of my mom’s COVID situation and communication and favors dried up, the friendship evaporated. One even ghosted me…after I shared that my mother had died. The other seems more…uninterested now.

On the whole, I don’t call people friends because like I said, it means I consider myself devoted to them in a way I wouldn’t with just anyone. But if someone explicitly says to me they consider themselves my friend, that changes the calculus – or it has in the past at least.

As for escorts as friends – I’ve learned my lesson. Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me. I’ve had escorts tell me they are my friends and it turned out they weren’t. I’m not letting that happen again. And so that may mean that I don’t consider any escort a friend. One rotten apple spoiled the bunch.

Add to that…I simply wouldn’t pay any friend, at this point, to fuck. If I’m paying someone to fuck me, then it’s business.

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

 

And how are you to know?

Well you seem to have answered your question…you’d know by their actions. If it turns out they really did mean the relationship has turned from a business relationship to a friends relationship then the line “I hope you consider me one of your friends” is not manipulative. It’s unfortunate you’ve had bad experiences when that has happened and I can understand your wariness. 

[coriolis888]

On 2/19/2022 at 3:04 PM, xyz48B said:

I see it differently. I would obviously only hire one guy. But I might send out four enquiries to see who’s potentially available, who’s got the best rate, who seems legit, who seems even genuinely interested. You may only get one response back from sending out RFPs…I don’t think it’s unreasonable to solicit multiple “bids.”

Many providers do not respond to messages from potential clients. 

Hence, it is not a bad idea to send out "bids" or inquiries to multiple providers in hopes that one will respond.  

 

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, coriolis888 said:

Many providers do not respond to messages from potential clients. 

Hence, it is not a bad idea to send out "bids" or inquiries to multiple providers in hopes that one will respond.  

 

Precisely. Well put. Concise.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Your co-workers are not your friends.

The company you work for is not your family.

Your boss isn't really concerned about your well-being.

And....

[xyz48B]

37 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Your co-workers are not your friends.

The company you work for is not your family.

Your boss isn't really concerned about your well-being.

And....

This. To kingdom come.

Accept your boss may care about your wellbeing, to a degree – if they’ve a decent human being.

[coriolis888]

10 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Your co-workers are not your friends.

The company you work for is not your family.

Your boss isn't really concerned about your well-being.

And....

While what you wrote is GENERALLY true, providers learn from each other either through a minor friendship or word-of-mouth.  That is why many provider rates are similar and/or within a certain price range. 

It is when "co-worker" providers talk among themselves (bragging about charging high rates) is often when asking rates increase beyond reasonableness.  

Not all providers know one another but certainly, many keep abreast "through the grape vine" what the rates are for their services.  

 

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, coriolis888 said:

Not all providers know one another

In fact, I’d wager most are “independent contractors” and/or “lone wolves.”

[Jamie21]

6 hours ago, xyz48B said:

In fact, I’d wager most are “independent contractors” and/or “lone wolves.”

Yes. Although I know lots of other providers and we collaborate and share info. Some are friends, some acquaintances, some just contacts. I’ve found that all are happy and willing to provide advice and help. 

[maninsoma]

I have co-workers with whom I am friendly while at work, but I don't consider them friends.

I have one co-worker whom I regularly see out of work.  We are friends. 

There is a difference.

It's the same with escorts.  There are several men I hired more than once and I enjoyed spending time with them, but I never saw them off the clock (apart from maybe a quick bit to eat after a session) and would never have considered them a friend.  I also didn't give them things apart from their fee.  With the one escort with whom I became friends, that was demonstrated by the nature of our interactions.  It wasn't a declaration on the part of the escort that was manipulative.  We just started doing things that friends would do -- go out to eat, go to a movie, chat on the phone.  When I had no power for days after an earthquake, he allowed me to spend a night at his place so I could finally take a hot shower.  When I lost my apartment due to a fire, he allowed me to use his place when he was out of town.  In fact, he was more generous towards me in that latter crisis time than some other men I considered friends, one of whom basically refused to let me sleep on his living room floor and another who let me know, when my apartment building was still on fire, that he could only host me that night.  I'm still friends with that former escort all these years later whereas some of those other friends are no longer part of my life.

[+ IronMaus]

On 2/19/2022 at 4:34 PM, xyz48B said:

I haven’t really noticed a difference in quality above $1800/night. But maybe I just haven’t met the right provider asking for more than that.

#Idigress

Wait are you saying escorts ask for $1800/night?! Maybe I'm doing this all wrong haha...
Honestly, the Pandemic opened a lot of people eyes and holes to sex work - and not everyone who begins this work intends to do it well for the reasons you hope they are. Most industries support terrible employees at some level - and most of those employees have no idea how bad they are. Like Democrats and Republicans!

[Gadfly22]

On 3/2/2022 at 8:47 PM, xyz48B said:

Accept your boss may care about your wellbeing, to a degree – if they’ve a decent human being.

My boss is an ignoramus and a reprobate but he cares very much about my well being. If it weren't for me he would have been sent packing years ago!

[Gadfly22]

On 2/19/2022 at 8:46 PM, cany10011 said:

I usually just prioritize the few guys I‘m interested in and send out a query to my first choice. If he responds in a timely manner (i usually give 8 hours) ... then i‘d go for it.

To me this is LUDICROUS! When I plan on hiring someone I usually take the day off work so if you're waiting 8 hours for a reply that's the whole frickin day! What am I supposed to do - sacrifice one of my precious vacation days waiting for some guy to reply who's either completely booked or asleep at the wheel? Sorry. On days when I'm hiring I start texting between 10-11 am and I give a guy half an hour to reply and I consider this to be EXTREMELY generous and even then sometimes I'm unable to secure a meet up. (I usually like to have it all over and done with before rush hour.) And since this is "Ask an escort" can I ask the providers what possible (legit) reason could you have for not getting back to me in a timely fashion? I presume you all have a phone number that you use exclusively for "business" with a ringtone you recognize. The only thing I can think of is that you are with a client - but how often do you have clients between 10-11 in the morning? And if you are getting hundreds if inquiries a day why would you be offended that I'm messaging other guys when it wouldn't even be possible to see that many clients in a day?

[cany10011]

22 minutes ago, Gadfly22 said:

To me this is LUDICROUS! When I plan on hiring someone I usually take the day off work so if you're waiting 8 hours for a reply that's the whole frickin day! What am I supposed to do - sacrifice one of my precious vacation days waiting for some guy to reply who's either completely booked or asleep at the wheel? Sorry. On days when I'm hiring I start texting between 10-11 am and I give a guy half an hour to reply and I consider this to be EXTREMELY generous and even then sometimes I'm unable to secure a meet up. (I usually like to have it all over and done with before rush hour.) And since this is "Ask an escort" can I ask the providers what possible (legit) reason could you have for not getting back to me in a timely fashion? I presume you all have a phone number that you use exclusively for "business" with a ringtone you recognize. The only thing I can think of is that you are with a client - but how often do you have clients between 10-11 in the morning? And if you are getting hundreds if inquiries a day why would you be offended that I'm messaging other guys when it wouldn't even be possible to see that many clients in a day?

I usually plan a few days in advance. May not work for everyone, but i prefer to give them the courtesy of some time to respond. 

[Kevin Slater]

47 minutes ago, Gadfly22 said:

I ask the providers what possible (legit) reason could you have for not getting back to me in a timely fashion? I presume you all have a phone number that you use exclusively for "business" with a ringtone you recognize. The only thing I can think of is that you are with a client - but how often do you have clients between 10-11 in the morning? And if you are getting hundreds if inquiries a day why would you be offended that I'm messaging other guys when it wouldn't even be possible to see that many clients in a day?

Providers exist to provide!  To hell with any personal business, sleep schedule, time off, travel, gym, work/life balance...  Unless you're directly servicing someone else, when I call, you owe it to my entitlement to answer!

Karen Slater

[Gadfly22]

14 minutes ago, cany10011 said:

I usually plan a few days in advance.

I'd love to do this if it ever worked. Unfortunately its a complete waste of time. Sorry I know I'm repeating myself. 😓

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

To me this is LUDICROUS! When I plan on hiring someone I usually take the day off work so if you're waiting 8 hours for a reply that's the whole frickin day! What am I supposed to do - sacrifice one of my precious vacation days waiting for some guy to reply who's either completely booked or asleep at the wheel? Sorry. On days when I'm hiring I start texting between 10-11 am and I give a guy half an hour to reply and I consider this to be EXTREMELY generous and even then sometimes I'm unable to secure a meet up. (I usually like to have it all over and done with before rush hour.) And since this is "Ask an escort" can I ask the providers what possible (legit) reason could you have for not getting back to me in a timely fashion? I presume you all have a phone number that you use exclusively for "business" with a ringtone you recognize. The only thing I can think of is that you are with a client - but how often do you have clients between 10-11 in the morning? And if you are getting hundreds if inquiries a day why would you be offended that I'm messaging other guys when it wouldn't even be possible to see that many clients in a day?

Let’s turn the script around for a minute:

The escort inputs their available now green light in the morning. Any client who doesn’t contact by say: 3 pm hotel check in or 12 pm checkout time, misses their chance. Or, I contact all my regulars and ask if they can meet “today”, and if they don’t respond in a generous, lengthy 30 minutes, I’ll book another client and they’ll miss their turn. Even though; I reached out to them saying I’m available.

You don’t have to answer because I already know what it would be: likely not. Most clients who expect us to be available at drop of dime, are generally never are themselves when the escort reaches out of the blue. I texted 2 clients this week about sessions that they reached out to me for. Neither one has replied and it’s been over 24 hours. One requested to meet today, I’ve not heard nothing back since Tuesday. 
 

At the same time: I understand the dynamic is different and at times it’s necessary to arrange things on same day notice. But we’ve already heard several examples of providers who don’t show their phone numbers or do same day visits. How do they get clients in a “moment’s notice” culture?

I think at the end of the day, it helps to know escorts are people just like clients. Having an ad and phone number on the internet is no guarantee of availability. Even on free sites: nobody is really ever available when you want it, unless  they’re on drugs or it’s late at night. Dates just don’t work that way. 
 

I feel if someone regularly approaches with that mentality, they may be more off seeking fun at a bathhouse where everybody is already ready.

 Speaking of Ludicrous and minute men: lol

 

Edited May 6, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

To me this is LUDICROUS! When I plan on hiring someone I usually take the day off work so if you're waiting 8 hours for a reply that's the whole frickin day! What am I supposed to do - sacrifice one of my precious vacation days waiting for some guy to reply who's either completely booked or asleep at the wheel? Sorry. On days when I'm hiring I start texting between 10-11 am and I give a guy half an hour to reply and I consider this to be EXTREMELY generous and even then sometimes I'm unable to secure a meet up. (I usually like to have it all over and done with before rush hour.) And since this is "Ask an escort" can I ask the providers what possible (legit) reason could you have for not getting back to me in a timely fashion? I presume you all have a phone number that you use exclusively for "business" with a ringtone you recognize. The only thing I can think of is that you are with a client - but how often do you have clients between 10-11 in the morning? And if you are getting hundreds if inquiries a day why would you be offended that I'm messaging other guys when it wouldn't even be possible to see that many clients in a day?

In your business, are there times you don't respond to colleagues or clients within 30 minutes? Are there hours of the day or night you're not working? Do you take days or weeks off? Does ANYTHING IN THE WORLD matter besides optimizing the client experience?? 

[Jamie21]

7 hours ago, Kevin Slater said:

Providers exist to provide!  To hell with any personal business, sleep schedule, time off, travel, gym, work/life balance...  Unless you're directly servicing someone else, when I call, you owe it to my entitlement to answer!

Karen Slater

I agree with Karen … I take my phone everywhere with me so I can instantly reply to clients who might want me in the next 5 minutes. Oh…hold on someone is messaging……brb….

 

Ok that’s him serviced. Where was I? Oh yeah about clients needing 24/7 instant response. So I take my phone….oh another enquiry….brb

 

Sorry about that, he wanted an outcall 20 miles away in half an hour. Just made it in time. Bit tired now as it was a long session. Sorry for delay in completing this post. Next client is in 5 minutes so I’ll be back later….
 

Ok that’s him done. Well actually we swapped places and he massaged me as I was too tired. I fell asleep on the table. I’m sure he had a good time as he’d left his load on my bum alongside payment. How thoughtful. Ok where was I? Oh yes I take my phone everywhere and as I write this I’m sitting on the toilet just responding to a client. I hope I don’t drop it dow *^%<#!’…….   <error> 

 

 

[+ Lucky]

Karen Slater? Hmm, this name changing has taken an interesting turn!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

10 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I agree with Karen … I take my phone everywhere with me so I can instantly reply to clients who might want me in the next 5 minutes. Oh…hold on someone is messaging……brb….

 

Ok that’s him serviced. Where was I? Oh yeah about clients needing 24/7 instant response. So I take my phone….oh another enquiry….brb

 

Sorry about that, he wanted an outcall 20 miles away in half an hour. Just made it in time. Bit tired now as it was a long session. Sorry for delay in completing this post. Next client is in 5 minutes so I’ll be back later….
 

Ok that’s him done. Well actually we swapped places and he massaged me as I was too tired. I fell asleep on the table. I’m sure he had a good time as he’d left his load on my bum alongside payment. How thoughtful. Ok where was I? Oh yes I take my phone everywhere and as I write this I’m sitting on the toilet just responding to a client. I hope I don’t drop it dow *^%<#!’…….   <error> 

 

 

As amusing and accurate as you are: this has been my reality the past couple of weeks. It’s really just becoming ridiculous, and it’s proving more and more each day why I can no longer leave my phone number up in my ads. Yesterday I had 2 “clients” epic fail attempt to arrange a session “tonight”. One I didn’t reply to because it sounded fake right off the bat, the other contacted at nearly 10:30 p.m. for an outcall at “a hotel” (no name) 20 minutes away. I replied less than an hour later with complete details: no response. It didn’t seem like either one read my ad. It’s like just looking at pictures, seeing a city and scrolling to number. 

I don’t know what has happened to the concept of booking things in advance, but at least in small market middle America 🇺🇸: it’s dead. It’s been like 2 weeks straight: I’ve had nothing but same day/short notice booking requests and have only gotten to meet 1 out of them all. When people do book in advance, they’re like “how long are you in town”. That’s not booking in advance. 
 

Then most of these people, I take time to respond to them with the necessary info, and they don’t even reply back. Some just want to throw me a text, tell me where they are and me to just say YES, I CAN COME NOW/TONIGHT. No questions/proof asked. It doesn’t work like that. I am not UberGrindr.com. This mentality nowadays is inefficient/distracting and I have to deal with it by requiring everyone to schedule a paid consultation first.  
 

Just like the person above said, “I give a guy half an hour to reply and I consider this to be EXTREMELY generous and even then sometimes I'm unable to secure a meet up.”

I just can’t tell if this mean: “the escort can’t secure a meet up for me”, or if it means “It’s not fast enough to secure a meet with me”

 

Edited May 6, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ Lucky]

This 30-minute timeline is odd. For an escort, he could be doing a session that is an hour or more in length. The client also could be in a meeting at work, or even at a movie. It's not a generous timeline.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

For me, I prefer to schedule things in advance. Perhaps it's because I'm a bottom and want to be clean, not have eaten right before. And as I get older I find I prefer late afternoon to early evening for sex. And since I play with my husband, we have to align our own schedules and, if we're hosting, we have to get our neighbors to watch the dog. (The dog is a sweetheart but very attached and will want to "help" the escort.) 

I tend to reach out a couple of days to up to a week in advance. And I think giving 24 hours for a reply is reasonable. We usually have someone in mind, with some back ups. However, I have had a few providers who refuse to schedule that far out. Or will ask us to text them the day before. Generally, the guys who want to confirm 24 hours in advance are flakey. 

If it's one of our regulars, we're much more open to negotiating a time. If it's someone we're checking out, refusing to schedule in advance (and we are willing to do a reasonable deposit), then we're going to move on. 

We're going to Montreal next week and we're already chatting with guys - not lengthy convos but getting rates, availability, checking for fit - and hope to lock a couple down before we arrive. A couple of guys have been unresponsive. And one asked us to text when we arrive. So we'll see how it goes.