is this the "new normal" attitude?

[+ DrownedBoy]

I guess I'd ask both providers and clients here if they've noticed this, but I've been getting some _really_ rude responses to my attempts to hire escorts I haven't met before (not to mention prices in excess of 400/500 an hours). Here's some incidents I had contacting several Chicagoland escorts yesterday (I texted them in the early evening, asked if they were available later that night, was completely open about my preferences (no anal), and offered to pay for Uber both ways on an outcall:

- I texted 4 people, 3 of which quoted me at least 400 an hour + Uber (I asked for a 2 hour session, but they didn't adjust their rates accordingly).

- One kid with only 2 RM reviews wanted 900 for 2 hours. He was located right next to me, and I would pay for the Uber. When I declined, he responded with a _completely unsolicited_ counteroffer that was still obscene. His text was worded like: "Oh man, I'll do it for X dollars; I DARE you!" Did he think I'd hire him when he spoke to me like that, even if it was a reasonable offer?

- Then there's the openly blatant con artists. One guy, I was purely willing to hire, but I thought it reasonable to ask him why 3 of his 15 RM reviews were bad. He told me he was insulted by the question. Luckily, he was honest enough to cancel the session before I would have.

 

Right now, I'm only hiring one of my 3 regulars, because when I reach out to "new blood," I get treated ilke this. I'd rather jack off than deal with such rude people.

Is this the new post-pandemic attitude? Obscene rates combined with rudeness? I've been hiring for 8 years, have always been nice to my hires, and have always contacted providers in good faith.

[Kevin Slater]

When you say you texted four people, did you wait for each thread to play out before texting the next?  If not, this may partially explain this environment...

Kevin Slater

[xyz48B]

28 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

When you say you texted four people, did you wait for each thread to play out before texting the next?  If not, this may partially explain this environment...

Kevin Slater

Do escorts only work with one client at a time?

I find the idea or suggestion that clients should contact one provider at a time hypocritical if escorts aren’t limiting themselves to one client at a time. It’s part of the economics of it, for both supply side and demand side. Just because there’s a market doesn’t justify bad behavior.

[xyz48B]

44 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

I guess I'd ask both providers and clients here if they've noticed this, but I've been getting some _really_ rude responses to my attempts to hire escorts I haven't met before (not to mention prices in excess of 400/500 an hours). Here's some incidents I had contacting several Chicagoland escorts yesterday (I texted them in the early evening, asked if they were available later that night, was completely open about my preferences (no anal), and offered to pay for Uber both ways on an outcall:

- I texted 4 people, 3 of which quoted me at least 400 an hour + Uber (I asked for a 2 hour session, but they didn't adjust their rates accordingly).

- One kid with only 2 RM reviews wanted 900 for 2 hours. He was located right next to me, and I would pay for the Uber. When I declined, he responded with a _completely unsolicited_ counteroffer that was still obscene. His text was worded like: "Oh man, I'll do it for X dollars; I DARE you!" Did he think I'd hire him when he spoke to me like that, even if it was a reasonable offer?

- Then there's the openly blatant con artists. One guy, I was purely willing to hire, but I thought it reasonable to ask him why 3 of his 15 RM reviews were bad. He told me he was insulted by the question. Luckily, he was honest enough to cancel the session before I would have.

 

Right now, I'm only hiring one of my 3 regulars, because when I reach out to "new blood," I get treated ilke this. I'd rather jack off than deal with such rude people.

Is this the new post-pandemic attitude? Obscene rates combined with rudeness? I've been hiring for 8 years, have always been nice to my hires, and have always contacted providers in good faith.

I find a lot of inexperienced guys have a bit of a delusional idea of what they should expect as far as compensation. A bit of experience will probably help them. But therein lies the Cath 22. They need to get the experience but guys don’t like getting shit on either, so they aren’t hiring these guys to give them experience. It’s better if people are just decent in general. I suspect the guys who are simply good guys will end up doing better than the guys who see horny guys willing to buy sex as nothing more than ATMs.

[Guest]

42 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

I guess I'd ask both providers and clients 

(.....) 

Is this the new post-pandemic attitude? Obscene rates combined with rudeness? I've been hiring for 8 years, have always been nice to my hires, and have always contacted providers in good faith.

This is a question for clients, please direct it to the deli. Nobody here is going to say "yes, my new attitude is obscene rates and rudeness". And we're not going to bite on an argument starter by saying "obviously, no". 

[xyz48B]

2 minutes ago, DanteV said:

This is a question for clients, please direct it to the deli. Nobody here is going to say "yes, my new attitude is obscene rates and rudeness". And we're not going to bite on an argument starter by saying "obviously, no". 

Maybe you have a thought on providers who do behave that way? I doubt you’re ignorant of providers who are rude and expect too much. I know I have opinions about my colleagues who have unreal expectations.

That raises an interesting idea: do escorts see fellow escorts as “colleagues?”

 

[Kevin Slater]

57 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

Do escorts only work with one client at a time?

I find the idea or suggestion that clients should contact one provider at a time hypocritical if escorts aren’t limiting themselves to one client at a time. It’s part of the economics of it, for both supply side and demand side. Just because there’s a market doesn’t justify bad behavior.

Huh?  If the OP is looking to hire one guy, but reaches out to four, at best the escort has a 25% shot if this panning out.  Obviously professional behavior is called for, but if three quarters of inbound texts are predestined to go nowhere regardless, one might temper his expectations of customer service from exploratory texting.

Kevin Slater

[xyz48B]

48 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

Huh?  If the OP is looking to hire one guy, but reaches out to four, at best the escort has a 25% shot if this panning out.  Obviously professional behavior is called for, but if three quarters of inbound texts are predestined to go nowhere regardless, one might temper his expectations of customer service from exploratory texting.

Kevin Slater

I see it differently. I would obviously only hire one guy. But I might send out four enquiries to see who’s potentially available, who’s got the best rate, who seems legit, who seems even genuinely interested. You may only get one response back from sending out RFPs…I don’t think it’s unreasonable to solicit multiple “bids.”

[Kevin Slater]

1 minute ago, xyz48B said:

I see it differently. I would obviously only hire one guy. But I might send out four enquiries to see who’s potentially available, who’s got the best rate, who seems legit, who seems even genuinely interested. You may only get one response back from sending out RFPs…I don’t think it’s unreasonable to solicit multiple “bids.”

And one wonders why they're not jumping through hoops for each text they get. 

Kevin Slater

[xyz48B]

27 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

And one wonders why they're not jumping through hoops for each text they get. 

Kevin Slater

I suppose if they don’t want the business, they won’t respond. If the pressure is high enough for business, they’ll respond. If they don’t need the work, they’ll be less motivated. Again…it’s just a matter of supply and demand.

I suppose it’s different when a provider sends a message on RM or to my phone asking if I want to hire tonight. I’m willing to bet I’m not the one client who’s getting those desperate pleas for business.

[Jamie21]

50 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

I see it differently. I would obviously only hire one guy. But I might send out four enquiries to see who’s potentially available, who’s got the best rate, who seems legit, who seems even genuinely interested. You may only get one response back from sending out RFPs…I don’t think it’s unreasonable to solicit multiple “bids.”

It could be the mindset behind viewing the enquiries as RFP’s or seeking “bids”. Usually if I get a request that looks like a fishing expedition…as in the client is asking around for the best “deal” then I know he’s not especially vested in meeting me. So I’m not going to be especially vested in the enquiry.

All my info is on my website or profile. If the client likes it then they’ll maybe ask me a few questions which is fine, but I’m not entering into an RFP process. “Johnny is £20 cheaper so will you match his price?” will result in a response of “if you like Johnny book him”. Or Danny can see me tonight what about you?” will get “book Danny then”. 

You’ll find the best providers will never contact you for bookings and will never enter into a ‘bidding war’. If they quote you a high price then you can’t afford them, move on to someone who’s in your price range. As with everything the price doesn’t necessarily equate to the quality. 

[xyz48B]

11 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

As with everything the price doesn’t necessarily equate to the quality. 

Ain’t that true. I’ve paid top dollar for mediocre service more than once. I almost feel shameful what my best regular asks, but I tip.

I would never haggle as you say. But if a provider asks me what I’m willing to pay, then it sometimes turns into a bit of a back and forth. I’ve decided what my limit is because as you say, price doesn’t necessarily equate to quality. I haven’t really noticed a difference in quality above $1800/night. But maybe I just haven’t met the right provider asking for more than that.

 I also don’t really “buy” into paying for a name either. I know some guys like that, but more me, looking for a BFE, it’s more important that the connection be there than for me to know I’ve fucked some porn star. There are different things that motivate different guys. I suppose if I wanted to start notching my bedframe with porn star conquests, I could hire for an hour instead of an overnight, but that’s just not really what I like. I like pretending for a weekend I have a partner…That’s what I hire for.

#Idigress

[cany10011]

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I see it differently. I would obviously only hire one guy. But I might send out four enquiries to see who’s potentially available, who’s got the best rate, who seems legit, who seems even genuinely interested. You may only get one response back from sending out RFPs…I don’t think it’s unreasonable to solicit multiple “bids.”

For me, it’s hard to turn someone down. I usually just prioritize the few guys I‘m interested in and send out a query to my first choice. If he responds in a timely manner (i usually give 8 hours) and our schedules align, then i‘d go for it. I hate to send queries to multiple guys and turn down the others that respond as well. It becomes too much juggling… unless, I were to meet the other guys for another date in the week…. But again, it’s a lot of juggling and I like to keep things simple. 

Edited February 20, 2022 by cany10011

[maninsoma]

I don't understand this paragraph:

"Then there's the openly blatant con artists. One guy, I was purely willing to hire, but I thought it reasonable to ask him why 3 of his 15 RM reviews were bad. He told me he was insulted by the question. Luckily, he was honest enough to cancel the session before I would have."

If you read his reviews and were concerned that 20% of them were bad, why contact him at all?  If it's because you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, wouldn't there be a better way to approach the question than basically putting him on the defensive with the demand to explain himself?  Perhaps your perception that he was a "blatant con artist" came through and that contributed to his feeling insulted by you.  I would have been insulted as well.

As to the rate question, I don't think it's insulting or rude for someone to ask for whatever he wants just like it isn't rude of clients to decline to pay more than they think is reasonable.  What is rude is either person copping an attitude because they didn't get what they wanted from the other person.

[acks01]

5 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

 there's the openly blatant con artists. One guy, I was purely willing to hire, but I thought it reasonable to ask him why 3 of his 15 RM reviews were bad. He told me he was insulted by the question. Luckily, he was honest enough to cancel the session before I would have.

Honestly I'm not sure what kind of response you'd expect here. It's definitely an off putting question to be asked why other people didn't like you. Not that you can't ask, but you certainly shouldn't expect a positive response.

[xyz48B]

@cany10011– I would really only solicit from multiple guys at a time if time were a constraint.

[cany10011]

11 hours ago, xyz48B said:

@cany10011– I would really only solicit from multiple guys at a time if time were a constraint.

I once made 6 queries for a worktrip and everyone responded…and, as I hate to turn anyone down,  I squeezed all 6 hot guys over a 4 day worktrip at the Ritz Carlton Marina del Rey. One guy even came at 6 in the morning with coffee before my work meeting to accomodate me.  So, yes it is a chore sometimes… to schedule so many guys within a constrained time frame. 

[xyz48B]

I don’t know that my asshole could do six guys over four days! 

[italianboyph]

This might be the case with stuck up inexperienced guys. I do think charging someone 900 for 2 hours is a bit much, but that’s just my opinion. If you tell the providers what you’re looking for it becomes a problem I’d say just move on to someone who will be nice and reasonable with price. Contacting several guys is normal, so you can keep your options open and see who will respond but also give it time. I will add, I’ve had my share of people who hit me up with no intent of meeting and just games galore. 

 

[xyz48B]

2 minutes ago, italianboyph said:

I’ve had my share of people who hit me up with no intent of meeting and just games galore. 

I can’t understand why. It baffles me. 

[italianboyph]

6 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I can’t understand why. It baffles me. 

I don’t either, people get off on playing games. 

[Kspray]

By just checking out OP’s other posts, I think the problem might be from the op rather than the providers. 
 

[xyz48B]

40 minutes ago, Kspray said:

By just checking out OP’s other posts, I think the problem might be from the op rather than the providers. 
 

Potentially. I like to remember that what we see here on the forum is a mediated reality. We don’t present our whole selves. It’s hard to draw conclusions based off what we see here…about as hard as it is to draw conclusions based off RM reviews! 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 2/19/2022 at 2:34 PM, Kevin Slater said:

When you say you texted four people, did you wait for each thread to play out before texting the next?  If not, this may partially explain this environment...

Kevin Slater

Yes - I did (I only focused on one person at a time).

I generally do this out of courtesy to escorts - I don't want to waste their time or contact them needlessly. However, after reading the feedback on my question, I'm thinking if that's one of the reasons why.

If it's common for escorts to text with multiple clients at once, I guess it's okay for me as well.

If I would have contacted more potential hires, I would have been more likely to find somebody.

Also, I usually schedule ahead of time, because it helps with the logistics. Hiring for the same night puts more pressure on the escort.

(I don't think this is what you meant to convey, but I'm afraid that's how I took it 🙂)

[Rod Hagen]

On 2/21/2022 at 9:29 AM, xyz48B said:

Potentially. I like to remember that what we see here on the forum is a mediated reality. We don’t present our whole selves. It’s hard to draw conclusions based off what we see here…about as hard as it is to draw conclusions based off RM reviews! 

xyZ, let me flesh out Slater's argument after an analogy.  

Imagine, on Craigslist, I see four separate, desirable, pairs of tickets to Sparks at Disney Hall.  I may justify messaging all 4 people simultaneously, with some questions, because there are flakes on Craigslist so I'm hedging my bet, one of the ticket sets may be bargained cheaper than the other three, and I'd like to finish this transaction as quickly as possible.

I'm expanding Kevin's argument to state that messaging all four individuals simultaneously is selfish, and we expect/hope you will see why it is. 

In case you don't, here's why.  If I purchase one ticket set, of the 4 available, I very well may hear back from some of the other individuals.  What do I say to that individual, "sorry, you were too slow, other people were able to accommodate my laundry list of wants before you did."  That person had a reasonable expectation that when I inquired about his tickets I was interested in his tickets, not other people's tickets too.  

This really is the difference between how we should interact with individuals in business vs. companies that prioritize, or at least feign to prioritize, our convenience and wants and take the hits when they come.  Respectful business between individuals is a business of mutual consideration.

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by Rod Hagen