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At the end of the road.


Floridasexman
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I have a general question about providers who are approaching the end of their career. Say an escort lives in a large city and lives the high life and perhaps he thinks he deserves to live this kind of life style. But say he is in his middle 30s now and the bloom is off the rose. It is a distinct possibility he has made no provisions for any sort of retirement due to life style choices.  What becomes of him when his client list dry up? Does he just fade into the sunset?

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I don't think you can generalize the situation. Aging is a gradual process and while mid thirties is perhaps the peak of male powers in many ways, the descent into the 40's for many is a great time given the added experiences and skills one acquires.

I have hired providers up to around 50 or so and enjoyed the experience. At that age they still seem young to me.

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Wow...  a lot of assumptions here.  

  1. MOST escorts don't live in "the big city with the high life".   In fact I would venture a guess to say very few live the "high life".  All of the ones I know across a dozen cities are just normal guys who are not rich by any means.
  2. While some escorts are able to sustain their lifestyle through their work, I would venture a guess that MANY do it as a side gig to have extra spending cash or supplement their income.  
  3. You make the assumption that once you hit your mid 30's, it's all downhill and that their escorting days are over.  Some escorts just start hitting their stride in their 30-40's.  Not everyone is looking to hire an 18-25 year old.  :)  There are several escorts that I know who have been able to make a pretty long run out of the activity with no signs of slowing down.  
  4. You're making the assumption the escort would not have made provisions for later in life. This is no different than someone in ANY field/career.  Some do and some don't.  As I noted, for many it's not even their primary income.  Those that do have it as their primary income typically are smarter about knowing it does not last forever and have something else they can do outside of escorting.  One started his own massage business...  another went into construction...  another is a motivational speaker.  There are a lot of career options outside of escorting!  
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5 hours ago, Floridasexman said:

I have a general question about providers who are approaching the end of their career. Say an escort lives in a large city and lives the high life and perhaps he thinks he deserves to live this kind of life style. But say he is in his middle 30s now and the bloom is off the rose. It is a distinct possibility he has made no provisions for any sort of retirement due to life style choices.  What becomes of him when his client list dry up? Does he just fade into the sunset?

I can understand your concern for this type of scenario, but like  @RadioRob stated…there’s so much more aspects to the equation.

I can attest I’ve been in that situation (actually still am). My client list in my 2 home markets of KC (home of the unstoppable Kansas City chiefs, but just a tragic City for single gay men and escorts) and Saint Louis have dried up significantly. I’m also in my mid 30s

However, I have a game plan to change the situation. The 1st thing to do in that type of situation, is relocate or travel. Sometimes a base can dry up not just due to the escort, but changes within the city market itself. In my case, traveling isn’t enough. A full on relocation is going to be the ONLY way to alleviate the circumstances.

Also 30 isn’t a “declining” age by any means. Unless a person isn’t working on themselves/exercising or doing drugs. I’m actually in better shape now than I was in my 20s. I struggled to gain ”mass” in my 20s, and now I’m at 215 pounds. I’m also a bit older and wiser, even though my tolerance level probably isn’t where it used to be. I don’t like to schedule things without deposits and I’m more quicker to burn bridges with problem clients than I used to. But that’s just a by product of dealing with the same shitty type of clients over and over, and the stress of being in a shitty market: which like I said, it’s URGENT that I fix this. 
 

There’s no reason to “fade into the sunset”. There’s so many things out there to do revolving around sex work, you don’t have to JUST be an escort. I recently did a nude calendar and majority of the guys were 30-40+. It opened doors to 2 subsequent events where I was able to get more exposure. 
 

So basically, there’s nothing to worry about. You can retire at 25 or 55. It’s all a matter of personal drive and decision making.

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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Big assumption that 30’s brings a decline. I didn’t start working in the sex industry until my 40’s. I was far too immature and naive when younger to do this type of work properly. It would have eaten me up. Now I eat it up 🙂 

I’ve always been physically active and am fortunate enough to have good genes I guess so I keep looking fit but more importantly feeling fit and healthy. I don’t drink or do any substances either so I’m sure that helps. 

One thing I learned working as a sex worker is to discard all the lazy stereotype assumptions about sex workers I had previously. All kinds of people do this work and if my experience of them is anything to go by they’re a lot more genuine, decent and open minded group of people than I encountered working in the world of big corporations and board rooms. And a lot more intelligent too. 

 

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I look forward to my mid-30s. I hope to be wiser, more organized, and have established even more regular clientele who are the foundation of a long career in this business. 

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One of my absolutely favorite regulars is in his 50s. He actually looks late 30s/early 40s and is absolutely wonderful in every way. He bought a more affordable home in a rural community and has already paid it off. So now he escorts just to make extra money and travel/enjoy life.

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I too, like several others replying here, started my escorting career at what some would consider late: 40 (GASP!).

After 17 years & counting, I'm now semi-retired...cut back on a LOT of the traveling I used to do and see mostly regulars. I will admit there's still that rush that comes with each new client, though.

There seems to be a "market" for us older guys, and personally, I enjoy what I do too much to give it up because of a number.

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On 1/23/2022 at 6:20 PM, Floridasexman said:

I have a general question about providers who are approaching the end of their career. Say an escort lives in a large city and lives the high life and perhaps he thinks he deserves to live this kind of life style. But say he is in his middle 30s now and the bloom is off the rose. It is a distinct possibility he has made no provisions for any sort of retirement due to life style choices.  What becomes of him when his client list dry up? Does he just fade into the sunset?


“High life” is relative and individual. Even individuals who are doing exceptionally well in a city like New York are not living the “high life.” But those who are struggling may say they are. Perspective. 

Many don’t peak until their 30’s (per your bloom comment). 

Someone not making provisions for any sort of retirement due to lifestyle choices is not exclusive to escorts, especially in this economy. 

..and “end of career” is such a spectrum of ages and many a factor go into someone retiring from the business - age is not at the top of the list, I assure you. 
 

 

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In Europe guys age-out faster but rarely die or go to prison like too many do here. Work starts at Bel Ami on your 18th birthday, then you get great trips with guys until 21 or 22 when you advertise on Romeo and make as much as you can for 5 years, buy an expensive car, and by 26-30 you marry and have a kid.  Of course sex work is legal and you must pay your taxes on it so you get government services and benefits and you may get a job in a gay bar or you may end up with a very good job from an education helped along by escorting. I have a thing here under the OMG Blonds thread of several of the top Czech guys who have very good stable jobs and families (and my favorite Jirka Mendel/Tom Smith just brought down the Czech government in a sex scandal.) 30 year-olds punching above their weight. 

But except for my ex-#1, a US 39-year old who's a millionaire now from "semi-legal" pot, my others are all Czechs and an Argentine punching 27-30 and slightly past boytoy prime. I have noticed at that age women start to notice them more and men less but so long as they marry well to either I'm happy. 

The #1 thing in the US is for guys to avoid the coke/drugs spiral they seem to slip onto. That highlife ends abruptly. Otherwise starting a new career at 30 or 40 isn't that hard.  

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/23/2022 at 4:58 PM, RadioRob said:

Wow...  a lot of assumptions here.  

  1. MOST escorts don't live in "the big city with the high life".   In fact I would venture a guess to say very few live the "high life".  All of the ones I know across a dozen cities are just normal guys who are not rich by any means.
  2. While some escorts are able to sustain their lifestyle through their work, I would venture a guess that MANY do it as a side gig to have extra spending cash or supplement their income.  
  3. You make the assumption that once you hit your mid 30's, it's all downhill and that their escorting days are over.  Some escorts just start hitting their stride in their 30-40's.  Not everyone is looking to hire an 18-25 year old.  :)  There are several escorts that I know who have been able to make a pretty long run out of the activity with no signs of slowing down.  
  4. You're making the assumption the escort would not have made provisions for later in life. This is no different than someone in ANY field/career.  Some do and some don't.  As I noted, for many it's not even their primary income.  Those that do have it as their primary income typically are smarter about knowing it does not last forever and have something else they can do outside of escorting.  One started his own massage business...  another went into construction...  another is a motivational speaker.  There are a lot of career options outside of escorting!  

There is also the concept of “expansion”~ Expansion is broadening one’s skill set~ Providing and Escorting are not exclusively about “sex”~ it can also include adventuring, exploring, cooking, medical advocacy, music, guiding people on tours and trips, counseling, esteem building, long-term partnerships that include all aspects of a relationship and can be with or without sex. I I think it’s important to make the distinction that there are different types of providers and different types of services… Not all escorts are prostitutes not all providers are prostitutes not all prostitutes are escorts some people combine all these things together plus more. There are clients I have known for nearly 22 years and the parameters of our relationship evolve constantly… We grow together… Sometimes it’s more physical and sometimes it’s more emotional or psychological or even spiritual…
 Life bonds can happen. While it’s easy to superficially visualize provision and escorting as something exclusively sexual, the reality is that it can be some thing more deeply rooted in cultivating intimacy on the deepest levels in ways that are not necessarily always sexual or physical at all~
  There can even be Love shared~ 

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On 1/24/2022 at 1:14 PM, DanteV said:

I look forward to my mid-30s. I hope to be wiser, more organized, and have established even more regular clientele who are the foundation of a long career in this business. 

People call me a smart ass… I have similar goals to become wise when I grow up… that way, people can refer to me as a wise ass~ It’s good to have goals~ 

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Diversified knowledge and skills in a provider (Art? Cooking? Gardening? Literature? History? probably makes him worth more after * gay gasp * 30. Not all of us look only for boyish companionship with ‘best by’ date on the container…

Setting money aside has never been an easier process if one is dedicated to doing it. It may not be every week or month, but if you get in the habit early, life as a gig-worker does not have to result in being without money when said gigs dry up. 
 

As with all business, if you have a huge penis, you have more options. 
image.gif.b302dac983e582abe005b650d3692b9c.gif

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On 1/25/2022 at 5:53 PM, tassojunior said:

The #1 thing in the US is for guys to avoid the coke/drugs spiral they seem to slip onto. That highlife ends abruptly. Otherwise starting a new career at 30 or 40 isn't that hard.  

Yeah it’s crazy. So many attractive, “horny” athletic guys are into that lifestyle. It can be hard to avoid..

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On 1/24/2022 at 5:55 PM, keroscenefire said:

One of my absolutely favorite regulars is in his 50s. He actually looks late 30s/early 40s and is absolutely wonderful in every way. He bought a more affordable home in a rural community and has already paid it off. So now he escorts just to make extra money and travel/enjoy life.

That’s a happy ending (pun intended).

However, it’s important for others to understand that one person’s reasons for escorting may differ from another. Some may be in it to make extra money and play, whereas others may have more interest invested in it. 
 

Not saying you are, but I think some people view escorts who are just “doing this for fun and extra money” on a higher pedestal than those who are relying on it for their day to day/month to month expenses. As if, they’ve “arrived” and are above those who are having to essentially have it as their main or sole source of income. There’s nothing wrong with that either, right? 
 

I bring that up because: clients on the forum often mention being flaked on by an escort sometimes. Well: if a guy is only doing it for extra money or fun, maybe it’s a bit more convenient to flake out if they feel like it. If you’re working another job, just got a paycheck and feeling a little tired +there’s a hotter guy who wants to hookup: that’s a no brainer: flake on the client.

Whereas if someone who’s invested and taking it seriously, they may (as in my case) be more trying to leave themselves available for a booking. Not saying that a person who has other sources won’t take it seriously, but it probably lessens the chances.

And if the person in question is 50s and has a home paid off, the question as it relates to the topic would be: was it from escorting or something else? Because if it’s from something else, I’m not sure it would fully cover the topic at hand. Anybody can do other stuff and escort on the side once a week. That’s not going to give much solace to a guy who’s trying to revitalize a tanking 🚢 client base…

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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Reasons for doing sex work are as varied as reasons for doing any other kind of work. Sometimes it’s a necessity for money sometimes it’s a calling. It will impact how dedicated and committed someone is to it.

It’s a lazy assumption to make that people only do sex work out of desperation. The other sex workers I know do it out of choice. So do I. I enjoy it. I like the flexibility, the variety, the excitement, meeting people, helping them to explore their sexual selves and other aspects of their personality that come out in a truly intimate situation. 

I think though that because the work is precarious, and unpredictable (sometimes busy, sometimes not) then it’s important to have a secure source of alternative income from a part time job or other work that fits around the sex work. Flexibility is key here. That gives you the security to build the sex work client base and keeps things in perspective I think.

 

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7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Reasons for doing sex work are as varied as reasons for doing any other kind of work. Sometimes it’s a necessity for money sometimes it’s a calling. It will impact how dedicated and committed someone is to it.

It’s a lazy assumption to make that people only do sex work out of desperation. The other sex workers I know do it out of choice. So do I. I enjoy it. I like the flexibility, the variety, the excitement, meeting people, helping them to explore their sexual selves and other aspects of their personality that come out in a truly intimate situation. 

I think though that because the work is precarious, and unpredictable (sometimes busy, sometimes not) then it’s important to have a secure source of alternative income from a part time job or other work that fits around the sex work. Flexibility is key here. That gives you the security to build the sex work client base and keeps things in perspective I think.

 

Your stance is correct, but rather abstract. Can't tell whether you were quoting what I was saying, or just saying in general. I certainly wasn't implying that guys should, would or only do sex work out of desperation. I'm just saying, there's an unspoken habit of people looking DOWN on guys who SOLELY do sex work for a living. I say that because I used to know a friend (now sadly deceased) who had a habit, of whenever I went thru a rough patch in the biz, first thing that would come up is suggesting to do some alternative work (which never came with any viable suggestions). But, never did this person or some others actually take the time to: 

Take professional photos of me

Show me how to make a website

Write a review for me as a "client"

Invest in me a professional wardrobe

Invest me a car/place to live to better serve clients

Point to/fund a visit to a city where I can do better at

Actually have another job to offer me

At the end of the day: people (specifically, gays both connected and not connected to the business) talk a lot of fucking shit. Everybody has a suggestion, but half the time, non are actually doing shit. It took me awhile to get to a point where I was like: if you can't be a supportive, contributing friend...and not just monetarily: I'm not interested. 

People always want to try and force their opinions and way of living on others. All of that stuff above I mentioned, I figured out all of those on my own and thru other sources. But if I woulda sat around listening to some guy telling me, "do this and do that while you're escorting" I'd of never reached my full potential and gotten to see the country and make all sorts of opportunities. I may not be doing exactly what someone else's standard of biz is, but maybe I don't want to settle that for myself. And most likely, they don't have it perfect either. They just present on the outside that it's all good...in reality if they could take my lifestyle, they'd do it in a heartbeat. And if not, so be it. I've seen life thru many windows to know what I do and don't want.

I see the "happily" partnered gay couple with the jobs, house and the dogs, but then I have my own experiences of that not being so pleasant...and also not what it's cracked up to be. I don't want or need a man controlling my every step and move and not being able to handle a joke, or one who always think it's okay to make stupid, bitchy jabs (Like some shitty guys in relationships do) to wear at my self esteem. Likewise, I don't care for a job that I have to commit to everyday, no matter how part time it is. If I wanted one, I'd get one when I feel like it. But as you suggested, I do have like 2 additional escort evolved stuff which does take the pressure off "sex" work.

There's a escort guy in Kansas City who has a job, and a side air bnb business. And he's like, you wanna work at the gym I'm at as a trainer? And even though I thanked him for the offer and opportunity, no. I don't want to do that because I'm not trying to do MORE stuff to tie me down in a city that I'm trying to move on from. 

Likewise, as I often say: it's bad assumption that clients hire out of desperation. That said: everyone's choices are different. If someone feels they need to do this or that in addition...by all means. But there should be nothing seen wrong with relying on the industry if one so chooses to. Instead of suggesting a person do something else, that energy can go towards helping the industry change and become better. 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Can't tell whether you were quoting what I was saying, or just saying in general.

Speaking in general, based on my experience. 
Everyone finds their own way through a mix of following advice, trial and error and breaking new ground. 

Mixing sex work with other work (including things like having a fans site) works for me. My only advice to anyone doing this work is to do it from a position where you have agency. That’s all. 
 

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1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

Speaking in general, based on my experience. 
Everyone finds their own way through a mix of following advice, trial and error and breaking new ground. 

Mixing sex work with other work (including things like having a fans site) works for me. My only advice to anyone doing this work is to do it from a position where you have agency. That’s all. 
 

I concur.

To be clear, I was merely discussing people’s objectives as a whole. Not so much on your suggestions. But, having an extra leg in the industry is a good thing. But you say “sex work” and “other” work. Isn’t having a fan’s site also sex work? (Even if you’re just doing solo jerk off vids)

What my whole sermon 🎤 above was referring to, was those who seem to push completely alternative work from the biz…instead of helping contribute to the business we’re already in. Like, instead of telling an escort to get another job: how about make a video with them and help increase their ratings (one of my clients did that for me, it was a simple 2 minute hand job, but it was a good demonstration of my 🌋 load 😆 

But as it sounds, it seems like you are exclusively a sec worker, or only do sex work related activities, correct? 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

But as it sounds, it seems like you are exclusively a sec worker, or only do sex work related activities, correct

I’m 75% sex work, 25% conventional work (whatever that is!). Fully self employed though.

The sex work is sensual massage, escorting and porn on fans site. I like the variety but sometimes do feel pulled in different directions. That said, the sex work is fantastic training for learning how to run a business.

People outside of sex work don’t realise how much work goes into marketing, pricing, finance, finding locations and models for filming, editing, getting the branding right. 90% of the time is preparation work, then 10% of the time is having sex. People assume it’s the other way around. 

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10 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m 75% sex work, 25% conventional work (whatever that is!). Fully self employed though.

The sex work is sensual massage, escorting and porn on fans site. I like the variety but sometimes do feel pulled in different directions. That said, the sex work is fantastic training for learning how to run a business.

People outside of sex work don’t realise how much work goes into marketing, pricing, finance, finding locations and models for filming, editing, getting the branding right. 90% of the time is preparation work, then 10% of the time is having sex. People assume it’s the other way around. 

Right on 👍🏾 

That’s why I say: if someone doesn’t think I’m doing enough, assist with the 90%. If they can do that, then they’ll know…

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