At the end of the road.

[jeezifonly]

On 2/8/2022 at 6:16 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Your stance is correct, but rather abstract. Can't tell whether you were quoting what I was saying, or just saying in general. I certainly wasn't implying that guys should, would or only do sex work out of desperation. I'm just saying, there's an unspoken habit of people looking DOWN on guys who SOLELY do sex work for a living. I say that because I used to know a friend (now sadly deceased) who had a habit, of whenever I went thru a rough patch in the biz, first thing that would come up is suggesting to do some alternative work (which never came with any viable suggestions). But, never did this person or some others actually take the time to: 

Take professional photos of me

Show me how to make a website

Write a review for me as a "client"

Invest in me a professional wardrobe

Invest me a car/place to live to better serve clients

Point to/fund a visit to a city where I can do better at

Actually have another job to offer me

At the end of the day: people (specifically, gays both connected and not connected to the business) talk a lot of fucking shit. Everybody has a suggestion, but half the time, non are actually doing shit. It took me awhile to get to a point where I was like: if you can't be a supportive, contributing friend...and not just monetarily: I'm not interested. 

People always want to try and force their opinions and way of living on others. All of that stuff above I mentioned, I figured out all of those on my own and thru other sources. But if I woulda sat around listening to some guy telling me, "do this and do that while you're escorting" I'd of never reached my full potential and gotten to see the country and make all sorts of opportunities. I may not be doing exactly what someone else's standard of biz is, but maybe I don't want to settle that for myself. And most likely, they don't have it perfect either. They just present on the outside that it's all good...in reality if they could take my lifestyle, they'd do it in a heartbeat. And if not, so be it. I've seen life thru many windows to know what I do and don't want.

I see the "happily" partnered gay couple with the jobs, house and the dogs, but then I have my own experiences of that not being so pleasant...and also not what it's cracked up to be. I don't want or need a man controlling my every step and move and not being able to handle a joke, or one who always think it's okay to make stupid, bitchy jabs (Like some shitty guys in relationships do) to wear at my self esteem. Likewise, I don't care for a job that I have to commit to everyday, no matter how part time it is. If I wanted one, I'd get one when I feel like it. But as you suggested, I do have like 2 additional escort evolved stuff which does take the pressure off "sex" work.

There's a escort guy in Kansas City who has a job, and a side air bnb business. And he's like, you wanna work at the gym I'm at as a trainer? And even though I thanked him for the offer and opportunity, no. I don't want to do that because I'm not trying to do MORE stuff to tie me down in a city that I'm trying to move on from. 

Likewise, as I often say: it's bad assumption that clients hire out of desperation. That said: everyone's choices are different. If someone feels they need to do this or that in addition...by all means. But there should be nothing seen wrong with relying on the industry if one so chooses to. Instead of suggesting a person do something else, that energy can go towards helping the industry change and become better. 

Curious to see the word “invest” used in the context here. Investments provide a return over time. Someone buys you clothing, a better car, travel for better work scouting, or gives you a job to do (something you’ve not mentioned here as an interest or skill.)

Then the return for the investor is… what?

I’m not saying you don’t deserve investment, but it’s most often associated with say, sponsoring education that will make you valuable to an employer, or maybe helping with temporary emergency medical or family care expenses. You haven’t delineated how this differs from being kept. 

Photographers are service professionals, as are website creators, and we know how you feel about being asked to provide services without compensation. 

You write well. Take some free classes somewhere, to make you better at it. Who knows, somebody may think you have talent for it and …invest.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

17 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Curious to see the word “invest” used in the context here. Investments provide a return over time. Someone buys you clothing, a better car, travel for better work scouting, or gives you a job to do (something you’ve not mentioned here as an interest or skill.)

Then the return for the investor is… what?

I’m not saying you don’t deserve investment, but it’s most often associated with say, sponsoring education that will make you valuable to an employer, or maybe helping with temporary emergency medical or family care expenses. You haven’t delineated how this differs from being kept. 

Photographers are service professionals, as are website creators, and we know how you feel about being asked to provide services without compensation. 

You write well. Take some free classes somewhere, to make you better at it. Who knows, somebody may think you have talent for it and …invest.

When I used the word “invest” I wasn't necessarily talking about the business world definition of it. I was using that more to relate to things that someone could do (invest) if they feel they need to suggest I can be doing something better. Okay? It’s easy to tell someone an opinion but very few actually want to (invest) their own money into it. 

And just to be clear, I wasn’t looking or expecting that from someone. I’ve been doing it myself all along. The whole scenario is merely hypothetical. 
 

That said: some people have done that. One friend sold me a vehicle for an amazing price, and lent me an air bnb for a day when he checked out early. Others have done either regular or one off things that have made a difference. Of course: I’ve helped in return as well. 
 

Being “kept”: that’s something else. and not something I look for. I’ve seen guys who are actually “kept”. That’s not me.

Edited February 11, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[bigdipper]

After having numerous, well-reviewed providers flake on me for no reason, I am also considering stopping altogether. I can spend $29.95 on a website each month and get similar results.

 

Moderator note:  let's keep it on topic.

[Rod Hagen]

 

On 1/23/2022 at 4:58 PM, RadioRob said:

Wow...  a lot of assumptions here.  

1. MOST escorts don't live in "the big city with the high life".   In fact I would venture a guess to say very few live the "high life".  All of the ones I know across a dozen cities are just normal guys who are not rich by any means.

 

If you're in a major city, or if you're like Benjamin NichoIas and people send you to the major cities, it definitely feels like the high-life when you start out.  You go from memories of childhood slopeside Holiday Inn stays with the family, to entire weekends at the Peninsula Hotel in...., you know, wherever.  

Edited February 15, 2022 by Rod Hagen

[Rudynate]

On 1/23/2022 at 3:20 PM, Floridasexman said:

I have a general question about providers who are approaching the end of their career. Say an escort lives in a large city and lives the high life and perhaps he thinks he deserves to live this kind of life style. But say he is in his middle 30s now and the bloom is off the rose. It is a distinct possibility he has made no provisions for any sort of retirement due to life style choices.  What becomes of him when his client list dry up? Does he just fade into the sunset?

Isn't this a rather spiteful question?

[Rudynate]

On 1/23/2022 at 4:58 PM, RadioRob said:

Wow...  a lot of assumptions here.  

1. MOST escorts don't live in "the big city with the high life".   In fact I would venture a guess to say very few live the "high life".  All of the ones I know across a dozen cities are just normal guys who are not rich by any means.
2. While some escorts are able to sustain their lifestyle through their work, I would venture a guess that MANY do it as a side gig to have extra spending cash or supplement their income.  
3. You make the assumption that once you hit your mid 30's, it's all downhill and that their escorting days are over.  Some escorts just start hitting their stride in their 30-40's.  Not everyone is looking to hire an 18-25 year old.    There are several escorts that I know who have been able to make a pretty long run out of the activity with no signs of slowing down.  
4. You're making the assumption the escort would not have made provisions for later in life. This is no different than someone in ANY field/career.  Some do and some don't.  As I noted, for many it's not even their primary income.  Those that do have it as their primary income typically are smarter about knowing it does not last forever and have something else they can do outside of escorting.  One started his own massage business...  another went into construction...  another is a motivational speaker.  There are a lot of career options outside of escorting!  

The question seems motivated, at least a little bit, by spite.

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Rudynate said:

The question seems motivated, at least a little bit, by spite.

Could be. I’d live the high life if I made enough from sex work but I don’t make enough money from it to bathe in champagne while naked nymphs drop peeled grapes into my mouth. 

To make this vision a reality for me would my clients please book more sessions and pay larger tips. Thanks. 

[xyz48B]

Those questions could really be asked of anyone who doesn’t plan for whatever is next. To a degree, you have to be willing to sacrifice some now in order to be able to live decently later. Everyone faces that who works. Just some of us have options baked into our careers that makes such planning easier. Self employed people of any stripe need to be aware of that going forward.

Regarding the high life, again, as above, you just have to figure out now how you’re going to support the lifestyle you want when things are different. That’s on the individual. There really isn’t a fail-safe approach for any of this. Even the best planners for retirement can end up being in shit if something unforeseen happens. There’s a reason they say not to put all your (nest) eggs in one basket. 

[robberbaron4u]

Physical beauty, personal charm and, indeed, sexual prowess are assets to be exploited for profit. That premise stated, save your nickels, lads, and you will yet be popular in your old age.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Anyone who says 'big city' and 'high life' is suspect to begin with.  It's the classic lingo of someone who's intimidated by both.  Everyone deserves to live the life they want and if they can afford to, even better.  

I agree that investing wisely is the way to go.  I'd also suggest to not turn-and-burn yourself into premature age.  This is, after all, an image based business.  Spend some money on upkeep.  It will pay for itself many, many times over.

The fascinating thing about this business is that it balances so often on power exchanges.  When you find success as an escort and are fortunate enough to keep that going over time, you will lose a portion of potential clients.  What you hopefully learn is that you never really want that kind of client to begin with....  The guys who only wish you well when you're hat-in-hand.