Too Many 'Money Up Front' Horror Stories Lately.......A Remedy??

[+ azdr0710]

seems like I've been reading a lot more lately here in The Deli about clients who are getting scammed by providers who ask for payment up front upon first meeting.....this is a perennial topic, I know, and we've all read the periodic ALL BOLD FACE cautions offered by various forum members to DON'T DO IT.......yet we still hear that it happened again......I do know some clients always pay up front and never have a problem and other clients run for the hills if a "pay now" request is made.....any other number of variations on the transaction protocol exists....

I've mentioned this possible solution before, but I'd really like these horror stories to become a thing of the past.....if meeting a new provider for the first time, I'll usually politely mention in pre-meet planning that 1) I'll pay at the end of the meet, 2) that I don't want to talk money at all during the meet, and 3) then I'll ask the provider if all that is ok with him......I don't feel the need to do this, though, if meeting with a much-trusted, forum-endorsed, and/or friend-referred provider......this all sounds simple and efficient, but I fear some clients are uncomfortable talking money before the meet (other than the 'fee for your time" inquiry).......I certainly know providers are occasionally scammed/burned themselves and can have a 'once-bitten-twice-shy' policy.......and I know incall/outcall meet location can affect who has the upper hand......

'money on the dresser', a quick flash of the money beforehand, etc. may be 'meet you halfway' options......

[Enronnja]

Well, this is the first time it happened to me, but I learned the hard way. Hopefully my bad experience will protect others in the future. 

[+ nycman]

You can make fun of her all you want, but that bitch Nancy Reagan was onto something….

“Just say no!”

[MscleLovr]

I don’t know why this problem has to be rehearsed yet again @azdr0710

The problem will go away if everyone does what @nycman suggests. And it’s not as if there is a scarcity of likely working guys/companions in most areas. It seems some men fixate on one guy or prize convenience above saying No to a possible scammer. 
 

[alexslaveboy]

Was scammed once by the pay a deposit up front 6 years ago and haven't/won't ever put a cent forward in advance again!!!!

And I've met with over 30 quality providers since with no money upfront!!!!

[maninsoma]

The remedy is not to let your little head take over.  You have to be willing to walk away (or simply not book an appointment if the demand is presented in advance), not matter how much you'd like to spend time with the provider.  There are plenty of other sexy guys to get hung up on one who has demands you don't want to meet.

If you're a client who doesn't mind paying in advance, I'm not arguing that you shouldn't do so.  I think most of us here, though, don't do pay in advance.  I think the only exception I would make is if I was booking someone for a multiple-day appointment, but then I would only do that with someone I already knew. 

[robberbaron4u]

The first commandment of making a hire is "THOU SHALT NOT RECEIVETH  UNTIL THOU HAST GIVEN". Again, "Escorting" is a business; the "hire" is a contractual agreement. You can coat it with chocolate, spinkle it with sugar and drizzle honey over it, but, in the end, that is the reality of the thing. And, by custom, a provuder isnot paid until he has delivered on the services for which they contracted to provide. 

[+ azdr0710]

8 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

I don’t know why this problem has to be rehearsed yet again @azdr0710

The problem will go away if everyone does what @nycman suggests. And it’s not as if there is a scarcity of likely working guys/companions in most areas. It seems some men fixate on one guy or prize convenience above saying No to a possible scammer. 
 

you're entirely correct, of course, but my suggested "remedy" is intended to prevent any client from even getting to the awkward point of having to say no....we've all read the stories here of clients having just arrived to a provider's room and suddenly being shaken down for money by a hulking 6-4 beast who's standing between the client and the door.....

[Alex93108]

I would only consider giving money upfront to a provider who i have personally met and hired at least twice and only if the situation warrants - i.e travel involved . Never for an in town appointment 

[Islesguy]

12 hours ago, jetlow said:

I would only consider giving money upfront to a provider who i have personally met and hired at least twice and only if the situation warrants - i.e travel involved . Never for an in town appointment 

Yeah, I agree with this. While I only hired my last hire once, we had multiple FaceTime convos leading up to my trip to him and the first session we had together was a multiple hour session. Even though I did trust him, it was still difficult for me to pay upfront. Things could not have gone better so I won't have any issues doing so with him in the future should I book another multi-day session. If I do a short term hire <1day, I will stick with paying post services rendered as normal.

[koakardred]

If they ask for money up front just leave. Its not going to end well from my experience. 

[+ Axiom2001]

5 hours ago, koakardred said:

If they ask for money up front just leave. Its not going to end well from my experience. 

If the guys requests his fee up front-- just tell him that you'll pay after we play.  If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call.

[Alex93108]

21 minutes ago, Axiom2001 said:

If the guys requests his fee up front-- just tell him that you'll pay after we play.  If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call.

I have never actually done an out call - but that sounds like sound advice. 

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, Axiom2001 said:

If the guys requests his fee up front-- just tell him that you'll pay after we play.  If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call.

"If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call."

You allow a stranger in your house and if that stranger has the balls to ask for money up front you are going to refuse the advance payment demand and "nicely ask him to leave" - 

What happens if he "nicely punches you in the mouth or threatens over the situation of coming to your place only to be told to leave without money?  

Either way, it is a difficult situation. 

Providers complain about being scammed while clients also complain (rightfully) to be scammed. 

How does a happy medium solve the issue?

I certainly do not know the answer.  

This issue comes up fairly often in the forum but never a meaningful solution comes from discussions.  

Edited October 19, 2021 by coriolis888

[Alex93108]

8 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

"If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call."

You allow a stranger in your house and if that stranger has the balls to ask for money up front you are going to refuse the advance payment demand and "nicely ask him to leave" - 

What happens if he "nicely punches you in the mouth or threatens over the situation of coming to your place only to be told to leave without money?  

Either way, it is a difficult situation. 

Providers complain about being scammed while clients also complain (rightfully) claim to be scammed. 

How does a happy medium solve the issue?

I certainly do not know the answer.  

This issue comes up fairly often in the forum but never a meaningful solution comes from discussions.  

I think this can be resolved by the pre meet discussion - we don't talk about money during the appointment, will leave fee for your time after. Something along those lines. 

[+ goosh69]

2 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

"If he doesn't like that, nicely ask him to leave if it's an "out" call."

You allow a stranger in your house and if that stranger has the balls to ask for money up front you are going to refuse the advance payment demand and "nicely ask him to leave" - 

What happens if he "nicely punches you in the mouth or threatens over the situation of coming to your place only to be told to leave without money?  

Either way, it is a difficult situation. 

Providers complain about being scammed while clients also complain (rightfully) to be scammed. 

How does a happy medium solve the issue?

I certainly do not know the answer.  

This issue comes up fairly often in the forum but never a meaningful solution comes from discussions.  

I’m pretty big. 

[MikeBiDude]

8 hours ago, goosh69 said:

I’m pretty big. 

So is my self confidence. Hasn’t happened in years but I’ve never been afraid to ask someone to leave. I deal with it in the pre-meet discussions if it comes up. 

[+ DynamicUno]

I recently had an experience with a provider who asked for a $30 advance by a payment app to set the appointment.  He didn't show (said he had car trouble).  Fortunately he did reimburse the payment but it did take some back and forth by text message to get it done.  I won't do that again.

 

[Epigonos]

As I've stated here many times, I have been hiring successful for years.  My first rule has ALWAYS been to thoroughly vet any escort I'm considering hiring.  How do I do that?  I carefully check for reviews on THIS site and totally disregard any reviews on rentmen.  Rentmen reviews are, in my not so humble opinion, worthless.  Rentmen is a great site for eye candy and for locating possible hires - PERIOD.  I'm also quite discerning regarding reviews I value even on this site.  I look for ones from posters whose opinions I know and respect.  I also highly value reviews from guys who have similar stats to mine.  Once a potential hire and I have agreed on his fee I NEVER mention money again.  I usually entertain guys in my home for dinner and a couple of hours of play time.  I ALWAYS have his fee in an envelope sitting next to his dinner plate which I point out to him upon his arrival.  I even mention that if he would like to count it I won't be offended -- I've NEVER had an escort count the money.  I usually have to remind my current regular to put the damn envelope away and not to forget to take it.  I've NEVER had an escort take the envelope and run.

The key to successful hiring is vet, Vet, VET. 

Edited October 28, 2021 by Epigonos

[koakardred]

1 hour ago, MikeBiDude said:

So is my self confidence. Hasn’t happened in years but I’ve never been afraid to ask someone to leave. I deal with it in the pre-meet discussions if it comes up. 

I think its alright to ask them to leave or leave yourself.  Dont be initimidated the provider doesnt have much recourse. The misstep is on the provider. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

5 hours ago, koakardred said:

I think its alright to ask them to leave or leave yourself.  Dont be initimidated the provider doesnt have much recourse. The misstep is on the provider. 

This is correct. The cops aren't going to listen to a single word the other guy says if:

1. You legally live there

2. You asked the gentleman to leave

3. The gentleman did not leave

[+ 5280Dane]

I unfortunately fell for this not long ago.  He did show up but once he got payment he got a call that he needed to give his cousin keys and when he left he never came back. Reported it to RM and they said they would suspend his profile and I reported the scam to cash app and will hopefully get my money back.  End of the day, I absolutely know better and let my little head rule my logical head.  A painful reminder but one that I obviously needed to learn again.  
 

Oh escort is King Piper in Charlotte.  Pics are not real either.  I should have kicked him out then.  Sometimes I’m an idiot.

[+ nycman]

6 hours ago, 5280Dane said:

Sometimes I’m an idiot.

Don’t worry, you’re in good company. 

[DMICS]

- Mention BEFORE booking that they'll be given their fee AFTER the session

- Don't think with your little head

- Only do upfront with a person that you've booked a handful of times and is a regular

 

I always follow those 3 steps and haven't had an issue. Only 1 time a provider said he only takes upfront because he's been scammed a lot. Eventually we agreed on half upfront. Considering the time he was spending to travel and meet me, plus his reviews, I felt comfortable doing so. 

 

 

[handiacefailure]

If a provider asks for a deposit I stop communicating.

I've had a few providers ask for money as soon as I've gotten to their place or them to my hotel room.   A couple of times it was so/so experiences but I would have paid them after anyway if they didn't ask for money upfront.

I refuse to tip if they want paid up front.   I don't know how good the experience is so I just provide the agreed upon amount up front and nothing more but if it was a great experience they would have gotten a tip at the end in most cases.