Two Down, One To Go

[+ azdr0710]

Plus- There is plenty of hot water, I can take a shower as long as I want.

Minus- I never realized it before, but the sound of the shower running was a constant in the morning. That's a time when the place has become too quiet.

 

when things get too quiet in the morning......yup, two hours long!

 

[mike carey]

@BasketBaller, I wish I could like that post more than once.

[gallahadesquire]

when things get too quiet in the morning......yup, two hours long!

 

 

How? I'd run out of hot water. One fill-up of the whirlpool completely drains the water heater.

 

Now, @BasketBaller, get someone to take that shower with you, after you've fed him breakfast!

[+ sniper]

How? I'd run out of hot water. One fill-up of the whirlpool completely drains the water heater.

 

Now, @BasketBaller, get someone to take that shower with you, after you've fed him breakfast!

 

Tankless water heater.

[+ Oliver]

... my own gaydar is apparently non-existent, maybe as a result of so strongly suppressing any interest in men as a teen and young adult ...

Ditto - I'm oblivious.

[+ Funguy]

Tankless water heater.

 

And recirculating pump.

[NuSingle]

When I first started living alone I had an added activity I did not anticipate. Throwing out expired milk. I started buying organic (the shelf life/expiration date was shocking to me). It costs a bit more, but I've not thrown out milk since, so it's actually quite the money saver.

[gallahadesquire]

When I first started living alone I had an added activity I did not anticipate. Throwing out expired milk. I started buying organic (the shelf life/expiration date was shocking to me). It costs a bit more, but I've not thrown out milk since, so it's actually quite the money saver.

 

Yeah, I don't get this. Milk used to last a week or two. The organic stuff is good for months.

[mike carey]

Yeah, I don't get this. Milk used to last a week or two. The organic stuff is good for months.

I haven't seen organic milk in the shops here, so I must look for it. I use milk in my tea and coffee so I tend to use it before it passes its use-by date which is usually about 2 weeks out from date of purchase (depends on the shop and its turnover). I usually buy 2 litre bottles although they do sell smaller ones if I were slower to use it. If it looks like running out of time I will make a white sauce (béchamel, cheese, parsley et al) and freeze it if I can't use it for a meal right away. [Putting a meat sauce into penne, or similar pasta, topping it with a cheese sauce, then grated cheese mixed with coarse breadcrumbs in a ramekin and freezing it is a good standby meal. Thaw and heat in the oven.]

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

Milk used to last a week or two. The organic stuff is good for months.

Organic milk keeps longer because it costs more. As a niche product, it must survive extended shipping and storage times. So rather than pasteurization, organic producers use Ultra High Temperature processing, which leaves the product almost sterile. UHT milk has a very low bacterial load and can be stored unopened at room temperature.

[rvwnsd]

Organic milk keeps longer because it costs more. As a niche product, it must survive extended shipping and storage times. So rather than pasteurization, organic producers use Ultra High Temperature processing, which leaves the product almost sterile. UHT milk has a very low bacterial load and can be stored unopened at room temperature.

However, the package suggests you use the milk within 7 - 10 days.

[BasketBaller]

Today was the first home football game for the Naval Academy, and my folks and I went to see them beat Tulane (narrowly). Plebe twin has limited opportunities to leave the Yard (campus), but he was able to visit with us at halftime, and go out to dinner after the game. It's tough there but he's doing well, maybe even enjoying it! My dad is class of '69, Plebe twin is class of '21. My mom has been a Navy wife, and I a Navy dependent. But within five minutes, my son and father were talking about Midshipman life and traditions, and neither my mom nor I had a clue what they were talking about! It was kind of amazing to hear them discussing what experiences they already shared that I had never heard of, and using jargon that went over my head.

 

He's okay. I asked about his roommates, and he thinks they're okay. The one who's been so homesick still is, but bearing up. Both of them have struggled with sharing a room with anyone, one is an only child and the other has siblings but always had his own room. Apart from privacy issues, both of them say hearing people breathe at night freaks them out! Twin told them he thought he'd freak out NOT hearing someone breathe.

[gallahadesquire]

... both of them say hearing people breathe at night freaks them out! Twin told them he thought he'd freak out NOT hearing someone breathe.

 

The Kid ought to become an anesthesiologist. Many are the hours I listened to breathing and EKGs ... and note a missed one within one more!

[rvwnsd]

@BasketBaller, I wish we lived in the same place because I'd give you a great big hug.

[BabyBoomer]

@BasketBaller how about an update? How are the four of you doing?

 

~Boomer~

[BasketBaller]

Thank you for asking! I can't believe it's been so long since I posted, but I've been purposely keeping very busy, and trying to get into a routine without the boys.

 

Let's see. My oldest is turning out to be the social coordinator of the family, keeping us in touch and setting up group skype sessions now and then. And he very plainly checks in on me regularly far more than in the past. Despite his having been away at school for the past two years, I think he's aware of how different home life might be from now on. I think he and his girlfriend are getting very serious.

 

Plebe twin I see at home football games, and on Columbus Day I brought Chinese food to him and his roommates. It's hard, and he doesn't like one of his teachers at all, but he's doing fine. His homesick roommate is also doing well. He, interestingly, asked how I'm doing on my own, since part of his problem has been worrying about his parents, who are a good deal older than me. Plebe twin is playing intramural basketball, which is played on company teams. The upperclass in a company are usually hard on all the Plebes, but he's played well enough that the upperclass on his team have gotten friendly, easing up on him a little.

 

Once Plebe summer is over they can grow their hair out a bit, but he decided to go back to a close-cropped buzzcut. The next day he skyped with his twin, only to discover he had virtually the same haircut. Spooky. He can only skype on Saturday afternoons this semester.

 

DePaul twin seems to be loving everything. He and his roommate have become fast friends, likes his classes, likes Chicago. Although he and his gf were less sure about trying a long-distance thing, they are still taking on the phone a lot, so we'll see.

 

And me. Well, doing okay but still adjusting. I found myself staying late at work for no reason, basically just to avoid going home, and as I mentioned, I spend a lot of time at the gym or pool. But it gets easier all the time, with one exception-- I hate waking up to an empty, quiet house. I've gotten so I eat breakfast near my office to get out of the house faster.

 

And I'll share that I had a very bad day about a month into the solitude, although I can't say why. I was missing them and went into the twins' room, where most of Plebe's stuff still is, since he can't have civilian clothes or many possessions. I opened the closet and, looked at his clothes, and the fewer pieces of DePaul twins gear, and I could smell them-- I don't mean in a bad way, a clean smell I associate with them. And I lost it, I sat on one of the beds and had a good long ugly cry, about them ,about my wife, you name it. Probably a little bit about my sexual confusion, too. And after I pulled myself together, I felt much better, and have since.

 

Speaking of sexual confusion, I have dipped my toes in the water of the LGBT social scene with some ups and a couple of minor downs. That story to come...

Edited October 16, 2017 by BasketBaller

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm sorry about your long night (day) of the soul. I know how I feel when I leave my mother after a long visit. And I'm used to being solo. I can only imagine what it must be like after 18+ years of a full house. I'm glad you are managing to stay busy. Not that you'd be interested in me -in that way-but I'm sorry I'm not nearer so we could have breakfast together. I love breakfast /burritos.

 

Gman

[rvwnsd]

...And I'll share that I had a very bad day about a month into the solitude, although I can't say why. I was missing them and went into the twins' room, where most of Plebe's stuff still is, since he can't have civilian clothes or many possessions. I opened the closet and, looked at his clothes, and the fewer pieces of DePaul twins gear, and I could smell them-- I don't mean in a bad way, a clean smell I associate with them. And I lost it, I sat on one of the beds and had a good long ugly cry, about them ,about my wife, you name it. Probably a little bit about my sexual confusion, too. And after I pulled myself together, I felt much better, and have since....

It is quite amazing what a good, long cry can do for the soul. If I may speculate, it sounds like this is the first time you have been able to emote about your wife's passing, given you had to hold it all together for the boys. Good for you. Also, good for you for having the ability to acknowledge having cried a good cry. And good for us, too. Always helpful to have a reminder that it is OK to cry.

 

...Speaking of sexual confusion, I have dipped my toes in the water of the LGBT social scene with some ups and a couple of minor downs. That story to come...

Glad to hear you are getting out there. Can't wait to hear about your travails.

[LivingnLA]

And I'll share that I had a very bad day about a month into the solitude, although I can't say why. I was missing them and went into the twins' room, where most of Plebe's stuff still is, since he can't have civilian clothes or many possessions. I opened the closet and, looked at his clothes, and the fewer pieces of DePaul twins gear, and I could smell them-- I don't mean in a bad way, a clean smell I associate with them. And I lost it, I sat on one of the beds and had a good long ugly cry, about them ,about my wife, you name it. Probably a little bit about my sexual confusion, too. And after I pulled myself together, I felt much better, and have since.

 

@BasketBaller, once again, thank you for being so open and generous with your life. I know this may sound counter-intuitive, but I am incredibly upbeat about your "very bad day" because I suspect you've never fully processed your wife's passing. You never gave yourself the time or space because you had to be a father of 3. Couple that with no time to process your personal "sexual confusion" as you call it, again because you're a father of 3, and it all was pushed down and deferred. For me, that it all finally hit is a very encouraging sign. I wish you nothing but happiness and joy. I imagine the LGBTQ dating scene will be full of many experiences, so I look forward to your next update!

Edited October 20, 2017 by LivingnLA

[BasketBaller]

It is quite amazing what a good, long cry can do for the soul. If I may speculate, it sounds like this is the first time you have been able to emote about your wife's passing, given you had to hold it all together for the boys.

I know this may sound counter-intuitive, but I am incredibly upbeat about your "very bad day" because I suspect you've never fully processed your wife's passing. You never gave yourself the time or space because you had to be a father of 3.

 

You're both spot on, I think. I realize more and more that there were things I just soldiered through, and didn't really deal with. And yeah, the cry helped!

Edited October 21, 2017 by BasketBaller

[BabyBoomer]

@BasketBaller

 

This coming Thursday is Thanksgiving. Will all of your boys be home for the holiday?

 

~Boomer~

[BasketBaller]

@BasketBaller

 

This coming Thursday is Thanksgiving. Will all of your boys be home for the holiday?

 

~Boomer~

Yes, and again I have to apologize for not keeping you guys updated after you've been so kind and caring. Wednesday I pick up DePaul twin at BWI airport, and we'll wait for older brother to arrive at the BWI train station, then all of us go to Annapolis to pick up Plebe twin and drive home together. A bookend to the drive over in June to drop Plebe twin off.

 

I've seen Plebe twin at all the home football games and a couple of other times, and he's fitting in. DePaul twin and his roommate are the best of friends, although twin is either amused by, or in awe of, his roommate's popularity with women. And my oldest is going to Boston Friday to be with his girlfriend and her family for part of the weekend.

 

I have not yet reported on my own adventures, and perhaps will do that in a new thread. Those uninterested in my boys' lives can ignore this one, but may have advice (or scorn) for me in my strides and stumbles in crafting a social life!

Edited November 20, 2017 by BasketBaller

[Rudynate]

They're identical, as alike as two peas in a pod, as they say. They were mono-amniotic, very risky but no complications as it turned out. Unless they have different haircuts it's still typical that I mistake one for the other. If they're together I can tell them apart but if one comes in alone it's a toss-up. Interestingly, their brother has no problem, he can always tell which is which. I've mentioned before that they occasionally speak in unison, which always takes people aback.

 

The soon-to-be Midshipman will have his head shaved the day he enters the Academy, and they've already agreed they'll both shave their heads the day before to get him ready. I'll never be able to tell them apart then.

 

 

There's an old hotel in Aptos CA, which is also a popular eating place and watering hole. For a couple of years, they had a pair of identical twin brothers that worked as servers. It was very confusing, in a fun sort of way, to go in there and never be sure which of the two you were dealing with. The Twins became minor celebrities of sorts.

[Islesguy]

There's an old hotel in Aptos CA, which is also a popular eating place and watering hole. For a couple of years, they had a pair of identical twin brothers that worked as servers. It was very confusing, in a fun sort of way, to go in there and never be sure which of the two you were dealing with. The Twins became minor celebrities of sorts.

I wonder if they ever pulled anything like the old Abbot & Costello sketch of them in a diner with the twin waitresses.(sketch starts around 3 min mark)

[+ purplekow]

And I'll share that I had a very bad day about a month into the solitude, although I can't say why. I was missing them and went into the twins' room, where most of Plebe's stuff still is, since he can't have civilian clothes or many possessions. I opened the closet and, looked at his clothes, and the fewer pieces of DePaul twins gear, and I could smell them-- I don't mean in a bad way, a clean smell I associate with them. And I lost it, I sat on one of the beds and had a good long ugly cry, about them ,about my wife, you name it. Probably a little bit about my sexual confusion, too. And after I pulled myself together, I felt much better, and have since.

 

Speaking of sexual confusion, I have dipped my toes in the water of the LGBT social scene with some ups and a couple of minor downs. That story to come...

 

Just a strategical hint about crying. I have had the need for a good cry on a regular basis since my wife's passing nigh on 17 years ago. That is a lot of crying and I have found the best place to have that cry is in the shower. You get in the shower, bring the cause of the sadness to the fore. Cry for the length of the shower. Wash your face as you are leaving the shower. No muss nor fuss and if there is anyone around, no evidence. I started doing this when my wife was ill and I did not want to make her feel worse which she would have had she seen me crying. I have suggested this to patients, friends and now here on the board. I found that forcing myself to face those bad feelings, lets me cleanse my mind and soul while I cleanse my body.

Edited November 20, 2017 by purplekow