BasketBaller

Well, he's cut, but...

As promised (threatened?) I will give a rundown on the festivities as the first of my sons was married two weeks ago, with another engaged and the third playing the field. For those who hadn't been around, I am a widower with three boys who came late to acknowledging any male/male attraction, and I struggled with coming out later in life than some do. My oldest now works on Capitol Hill, and my younger two are twins, one of whom is in the Navy and the other of whom lives in Chicago after getting his degree from DePaul-- thus their nicknames in this chronicle. Navy Twin and his fiancee had been together since high school, and they survived his years at the Naval Academy and long separation to reach this point. It was a beautiful, simple wedding, they are both no-nonsense people with little patience for anything too fancy. That mean it was not too expensive, which was nice since I was hosting the rehearsal dinner. They got married in the Chapel at the Academy, and we had the dinner the evening before at the Officers' Club, where my dad is a member. My parents and siblings were there, and my late wife's family likewise. Some of you may remember that my brother-in-law, who came out as gay when he was young, was the first person I confided in. He had eased the way with his side of the family, and they've been nothing but supportive, perhaps because the boys have been. Similarly my son's fiancee's family-- a couple of them didn't say much but I didn't really know them, so that may have been all it was. As I said in an earlier post, I don't think my daughter-in-law to be would have put up with any attitude about it. The evening was pretty relaxed overall. Naturally everyone was very conscious of who was missing-- the boys' mom. We all talked about her and told the bride's family stories, and if I wasn't already puzzling them, that must have done it, since so much of the talk was about what a wonderful marriage we had, which is true. I stayed up late back at the hotel talking to the boys about nothing in particular, but we did bring up the last time we all stayed in an Annapolis hotel, when we dropped Navy Twin off for plebe summer. You may remember the last thing he murmured to me before marching in to start the summer, "Be happy." Everyone here, me included, wondered if that meant he had suspected what was going on with me. But after I came out to them, I asked him if he remembered saying that, and he said he did. I asked him why, and blunt as ever, he said, "Because I didn't think you were very happy then." Smart kid. That was the trip where DePaul Twin, his brother, quietly cried all the way back to DC. More to come, the wedding, and everybody meets my "friend."

Very sad to read this. Oliver, my deepest condolences to you and all who obviously cared for him very much.

Well, wish me luck, friends. I'm leaving for Annapolis in a minute for the rehearsal this afternoon and rehearsal dinner tonight, and wedding tomorrow. It makes me think of dropping Navy Twin off for plebe summer years ago and how emotional we all were. This is a different kind of emotion. I will update, probably not until it's all wrapped up, and I may (gasp) do that in a new thread to reflect the changes.

If I was ever going to, it would have been the guy I'm seeing now. When I first hired, I had no experience with gay sex, but watching porn, I had been very, well, "taken" with hung guys. So since I was just experimenting and would never do it again, I hired a couple of very large men. But I was honest about my inexperience, and the first guy was especially patient and sensitive (and perhaps amused). When he penetrated me I very nearly stopped him, but "it was just this once" so I endured. By the time we finished I wasn't sure I liked big guys particularly, but I knew I liked bottoming. Over the years I came to prefer men of a more manageable size, it was easier to take and since I only slept with men occasionally, I sort of had to get used to it each time-- average was better. Then I met the man I'm seeing, easily the biggest I've ever taken. It wasn't easy at first, and still sometimes isn't, but he's a prince-- careful, aware of what a challenge he can be, and very attentive to how I'm doing. I won't say I'm used to it exactly but he is such a good guy and I like him so much it doesn't matter. We take our time, and I always loved foreplay even when I was sleeping with women. Now, it would be second hand, but his story is quite different. he came out in high school but all his life he's dealt with people either rejecting him (he says most of his early encounters turned into hand jobs) or only wanting to sleep with him because he has a huge cock. So there are two sides to the issue.

Well, they know too, but I meant my future daughter-in-law's family. They are good friends since we've known them since the kids were in HS. She told them, with my permission, and her mom said, "Oh, that makes sense."

Well, it's three weeks from today (well, Saturday) that Navy Twin and his fiancee will get married at the Naval Academy Chapel. I'm so thankful that they both are practical people with simple tastes-- no over-the-top wedding stuff. I'll host the rehearsal dinner the night before at the Officers' Club (my dad's a member) and since the wedding party is fairly small it won't break the bank! DePaul Twin will be best man, Older Brother and NT's Academy roommate will be groomsmen. Then a gang of his friends will form the sword arch afterwards. Everyone's being sane, so far. His fiancee has been his gf since high school and we've all known they'd be doing this for years. After the wedding, off to San Diego and then a possible deployment to Japan for two years. Not sure how I feel about that but as long as they're happy, I will be. My buddy will be there every step of the way and that is going to be interesting. Both families know now but we'll see how the other guests react. I think if there's any negative response NT's fiancee will slap it down, she really has been supportive (you may remember when I first came out to the boys she told me she was sad I'd had to hide it for long.) Older Brother and his gf will move in together 11/1 with a summer wedding being planned. And then, what? You all know I don't like being in the house alone.

Thank you for your kind words. And yes, he's certainly fulfilled the "in sickness and in health" thing. Even when we were quarantined away from each other I never felt as if he thought it was too much.

So, an update. I had already mentioned that Navy Twin will be getting married this Fall. Last evening Older Brother broke the news that he and his girlfriend are engaged, with tentative plans to marry next summer. And what's more they plan to find an apartment and move in together soon. That means that once again I'll be an empty-nester. He added, "Why don't you invite (boyfriend) to move in?" And this morning, DePaul Twin, having gotten the news, texted me basically the same thing. I think they're worried about me being alone with my current challenges-- or they just want us to be together. To be frank, I'd been thinking that once the boys were gone from the house (I doubt any of them will truly live here again) we'd be able to explore next steps. But now I think it would be crazy not to. I'll keep you posted.

As someone who loved the comic books (although I read it all in the versions published later as collections) I pretty much adore the series. A few changes but they actually are usually improvements. And they just released a surprise 11th episode!

I don't think we're quite there yet but we are certainly closer than ever. So, who knows?

Hello, all. a couple of you have reached out and I realize that I again, had vanished mostly, for which I apologize. I also have noted that in another thread, someone theorized that my posts had been a "creative writing exercise," which I assure you they were not. Posting here was deeply therapeutic to me as I struggled with some personal issues, and I'm grateful for the welcome you gave me. I'm sorry if anyone didn't believe me, but I don't know what I can do about that without compromising my sons' privacy so there you are. Now let's see. Older Brother is still on Capitol Hill and loves it. He was not there during the 1/6 riots, I'm glad to say. His girlfriend graduated from GW law school this spring, and I think they are thick as thieves. No marriage plans yet, but I think she wants to get a career established first. Navy Twin has graduated from flight school in Pensacola, and will be piloting Hawkeyes, a plane I had not known, but it's an "Information Gathering" vessel. As he says, "I won't be bombing anything, but I'll be choosing the targets." Okay. Despite my continued mobility issues, I was able to get to Florida for his winging, a brief but moving ceremony, and my parents came along-- so proud. He and his girlfriend will get married this fall at the Naval Academy Chapel, and I couldn't be happier, I really love her. DePaul Twin finished his 5 year BA-MA program and is working, for now, at a tech firm in Chicago, which he loves, although I think this is a "starter job," Still happily single, and he's become the family social director, planning our regular Zoom meet-ups. And me? Well, better, but the progress is slow. I use a cane, and have some cognitive problems, but, not as bad as at first, and improving. And my friend? (We both still resist "boyfriend" but frankly, that's what he is). That is very, very good. He was so patient with my medical issues, so attentive, and so kind. The boys and their gf's have all met him and like him a lot. If I were to describe my ideal man, I'd have said taller than me, on the lean side, mostly smooth, blond or redhead, blue eyes. He checks none of those boxes. He's a bit shorter than me with a solid muscular build, brown hair and eyes, and a pretty furry chest. And so that's now my ideal man. He does have the broad shoulders I used to post about as major turn-ons, though. And we're pretty sexually compatible, as I once posted, although he took some getting used to-- be's a big one downstairs! But he's sensitive and patient and we have a great time. On about our third time together, we were holding each other after sex and he murmured something I didn't catch. I asked what he had said, and he said, "I wish I didn't hurt you." I think that was the moment I fell in love. Anyway, hi everybody, you have meant a lot to me, and I'll try to be more present.

Well, hello my friends. I'm so sorry to have vanished like that, and yes, finding my "gentleman friend" was a factor. Let me start by saying the boys are well and there's a lot to tell, which I'll try to do. Last summer I contracted Covid and had a lengthy stay in the hospital. No ventilator, but I was on oxygen for days. This is not very characteristic of me, but I had a hard time recovering both physically and emotionally, and I'm afraid I withdrew from many things I just couldn't motivate myself. In the fall of 2020 I also began to be unsteady on my feet, and scarier still began to have trouble speaking, I just couldn't find the words I was trying to say. Eventually Older Brother took me to the emergency room, where they suspected a stroke. Another hospital stay, this time 10 days while they ruled out many causes, and by the second day I couldn't walk at all or really even stand up unassisted. Finally they figured out I have pernicious anemia, an inability of the body to to process vitamin B12, without which you can't form red blood cells properly. So shots and physical therapy for months and dealing with many effects. I used a walker for a couple of months and now use a cane. There were two more ER visits when my blood pressure spiked, but I wasn't admitted either time. At first I couldn't get up the stairs, so I slept on an air mattress in the den. The boys were great but quite freaked out. Navy Twin is in Pensacola at flight school (he finally chose aviation). I have very little stamina and can't stand up for very long, but it's not as bad as it was. There has been progress but it's extremely slow and sometimes discouraging. But I'm trying to be optimistic, and my friend has been a rock of support. I'll try to catch you up with that adventure, and at this point I guess I can just call him my lover. So once again, I'm touched by your concern and I wish I had handled all of this better, but I didn't. I'll try to stick around this time.

This is fun. How many do you recognize? (There's a list at the end, but I don't think it's complete.) |

As a bottom I like all positions, but on my back with my legs over his shoulders is the favorite. Love eye contact while he fucks me.

True, cats do none of these things. But we invited them to live with us for another, very important reason. When humans began to shift from being hunter-gatherers to living in settlements, the storage of food became important. Especially as civilization developed toward a division of labor instead of everyone hunting, or finding food, we needed to safely maintain stocks of food (think of Pharaoh's granaries in the Bible). One of the chief obstacles to that need was the widespread presence of vermin, mice and rats mainly, who ate and despoiled stored grain. It was cats who kept their numbers low enough that we could continue to diversify and grow as a society. In order to do that, cats' natural independent hunting instincts were needed. Dogs safeguarded humans and hunted with them. Cats made civilization as we came to understand it possible.

Love them both, have had both in my life. In recent years we have had two cats, an elderly male who died last November (very traumatic, the boys had known him most of their lives), and a young female who now rules the roost. Terribly affectionate although not much for being held. Still, it's a rare night when she doesn't sleep with me, or as often as not, on me.

I actually prefer the second pic-- I like lean guys!

I have to share right away. I mentioned @sniper 's suggestion to OB. He looked incredulous and said "Really? That would be okay?" When I assured him I was fine with the idea, he said he'd talk to her about it. Then after a long pause, he said, "Do you think she might feel like Wendy coming to live with the Lost Boys?" I love this kid.

No I got that. I just wonder whether even travelling down here to stay would be worrisome. She'd definitely be welcome to stay for the semester.

Hmm, interesting, I hadn't thought of that. She'd of course be welcome, and let's face it, they were already spending most weekends at her room. I don't know if her parents would mind but travelling back from Boston might give her pause. But I hate seeing him so unhappy, so I'll float the idea with him.

Well, after promising to give more details about my, hmm, "guy friend," I apologize for not doing so, but I will. In the meantime, an update on quarantine in my house. All the boys were home after spring break, and while I was happy to be all together again, I know Older Brother and Navy Twin were pining for their girlfriends. OB's gf got the word that GW will be online only for the fall semester at least, and after telling us that, he went to his room and stayed there for a long time. I think he's miserable missing her. DePaul Twin has no gf now but was playing the field in Chicago a bit, and I know he misses that. Despite my growing connection to my buddy, it's still been online for various reasons. So we've been a household of four very horny men for several months. I know I've been having Skype sex, and I don't think I'm alone. I imagine the amount of masturbation in the house has been prodigious. With just us at home, there's been a regression to some old behaviors. I think weeks went by with no one wearing a shirt except when we all ate at the table-- I mandated that when they were still little boys. When they were teenagers we all referred to their end of the upstairs hall as "The Zoo, " and despite Navy Twin's fastidiousness, that name kind of applies again. Less horseplay than back then but still not very civilized. Everyone but Navy Twin got pretty shaggy, including me, but eventually DePaul Twin came downstairs having buzzed his head and shaven, so the twins again look exactly alike. The twins cook a lot, Older Brother gardens a lot, and I enjoy it all. In terms of their attitudes toward me and this guy, they each have their own, as I've mentioned before. Older Brother is happy for me, but in his view it's none of his business, I should do what feels right. As mentioned above Navy Twin wants this settled, commit to him or move on. DePaul Twin, always the most sensitive, is the most curious about what it felt like to be in denial for so long, when did I first admit it to myself, how did I know, and without coming out and asking, I sense he's curious about when I started actually having sex with men. I told him that as a teen and young man I simply refused to acknowledge any attraction to males, and that led to my promiscuity with women, of which I'm not proud. I said my only real regret is that there were other boys, teammates or classmates, who made me uncomfortable or nervous, and so I avoided them as much as I could. Now, I look back and realize we could have been friends but I blocked that possibility. We were sitting on the den couch, and he paused and said, "I'm sorry." I said it was okay, and he took my hand and said, "No, it's not." And we didn't say anything for a while, just sat and held hands. We are down one. Two weeks ago we drove Navy Twin to Quantico, VA, where after quarantine he has begun a training program called Leatherneck, where he'll train with the Marines to see if he wants to be one, and the Marines will see if they want him to be one. DePaul Twin has elected to do distance learning for the fall so he'll be here. His Irish roommate is stuck in Ireland so wouldn't have been back anyway. I suppose some of what drives DT's curiosity is his roommate's admission of bisexuality. At all events, we carry on.

I have three, my eldest and then two twins. They're men now and except for the quarantine wouldn't be home. But I'm not complaining, I love us being together. Them, maybe not so much.