BasketBaller

The seated guy is escort Liam Mason, apparently now retired.

More than two. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_apple

We always celebrated the anniversaries of our first date and our wedding.

George S. Kauffmann, Robert Benchley, Alexander Woollcott, and Harpo Marx, with Dorothy Parker, Edna Ferber, and Moss Hart at a nearby table. I doubt I'd learn anything interesting, but the snarky wit would be great fun.

Exactly. And no, not Argentinian.

A shame she never received the Kennedy Center Honors-- she deserved it more than some who have been honored.

I guess it's because my Dad is from Boston, but I'm surprised that people didn't know about this! Beans and hot dogs, with the brown bread, is, I think his favorite meal. We had it often when I was growing up.

No, he talks about what it's like to have sex with straight guys who aren't into it.

Thank you, friend. My condolences to you, and my admiration for you having been a caregiver-- no one who hasn't done that knows what it's like. Yes, look for some group or activity that has an appeal, and no fear, I'll keep everyone updated on our family journey.

I probably didn't do justice to this part, much of it was clearer in the long conversation afterward. Navy Twin had asked why I hadn't told them before, and that they'd have understood. The twins' older brother took that as questioning my actions, and was adamant in his belief that whatever I needed to do, whatever I felt right about, was exactly what I should have done. And of course, it hasn't taken much in the past for him to tell his brothers to shut up. Note that after a pause Navy Twin persisted in saying it wouldn't have mattered to them. He'll be a great officer..

I have no concern that anyone would mind or that it would be awkward, these guys have heard a lot about the boys by now, and several of the group are also fathers, either divorced or single dads (I'm the only widower). I'm just thinking the boys will put us all to shame! (If they want to come, I'll bring them.)

An observation, and an update. As I think more about this scene from last week, it occurs to me that the boys, each having a very different college experience, have begun to diverge a bit from the past. Older Brother, so sarcastic before, is the one who got emotional, perhaps because of his serious relationship. Navy Twin is learning to be a leader, and he was the one who asked the question and explained their concern. And quiet, serious DePaul Twin was the one who saw the humor in it all. The twins haven't spoken in unison as much lately, so I think that's a sign of their paths separating, maybe. And the update? They want to come play basketball with me before the break ends. My only reluctance is that they're half the age of most of the group and will probably kill us. @BabyBoomer suggested that they are either showing their acceptance of my life, or they want to scope out boyfriends for me. Probably both.

Thanks, they are my proudest "achievement!"

Right, I was standing on the diving board trying to gather my resolve to jump, and once I did, it was fine. But just like last year, I have a business trip every January and I won't be in DC that weekend! Palm Springs is more likely. Fingers crossed!

Sorry! But yes, I too never really thought they'd take it badly-- even though I did have a moment when I thought my eldest was going to storm out. I just needed to be ready to take this step and it probably could have happened a while ago. Remember, I'm the guy who spent over a decade denying any attraction to men, so obviously I need more time than most people to admit the truth.

Thank you, my friend!

Relief, for sure, especially since, as I said in my other thread, I'm "out enough" now that the boys might have heard from someone else and I knew the time had come to tell them. But also maybe back to a more normal relationship since I freely admit I was hiding something from them, and I wasn't happy about that.

My friends, hold onto your hats. I think this is the one you’ve been waiting for. As usual, we had Christmas dinner at my folks’ house with other family members there. This year Navy Twin wore his uniform without argument. We always get sent home with tons of leftovers, and for years, on the 26th, we have a second Christmas dinner with just us. This is a time when we often talk about the boys’ mom and their memories of her. The twins barely remember her, and I suspect Older Brother remembers less than he implies, but they love going over what they do recall, asking me for details they’d forgotten, etc. We do this in the dining room, instead of at the kitchen table, and some years we bring out our wedding china- “Mom’s dishes,” they call them. Older Brother was across from me, Navy Twin on my left, DePaul Twin on my right. We talked about her for a while, and I brought up how young we were when we got married. They know that I think she changed my life, and while they don’t have all the details, are aware that I don’t think I was an especially respectful young man with women before I met her. I’ve never told them the extent of my promiscuity but they know I hoped they’d treat women better than I had, and I believe they always have. So the talk turned to their relationships—Older Brother’s obviously very serious girlfriend, DePaul Twin’s on-again-off-again one, Navy Twin’s long-distance romance that seems to be working okay. DePaul Twin asked his older brother if he thinks he’ll marry this woman, and he looked down for a moment, then said, “Yes, I think so.” The twins whooped, and he added, “Not soon though!” The laughter died out and there was a pause, after which Navy Twin took a deep breath, looked at me, and said, “What about you, Dad? Do you think you’ll ever get married again?” I think they had decided to bring it up at some point on this visit home, and they were very quiet once he said that. And, of course, it was the opening I had hoped for. I told them how happy I had been with their Mom, and opened up about what a hound I’d been, with a reputation so bad she almost refused to date me. (Very wide eyes at that). I told them that when she died, I had no interest in other people at first, and I knew they thought it was because of them, but really, I was just grieving too deeply to think about dating. That I even knew they eventually wanted me to, but I just wasn’t ready. That after a long time it began to feel possible, but they were so close to leaving home by then I kept it to myself, which maybe was unfair, and that I had begun, not dating exactly, but “socializing.” (Big smiles). Wait, I said. I told them that I had come to realize my sleeping around was a way of denying part of who I was. And that I fought for a long time to avoid the fact that, while I did truly love women, I was always also attracted to men. That I accepted that while their Mom was still alive, because I had no more intention of acting on it than I did of cheating on her with a woman. Without giving much detail about timeline, I said it took a while for me to be comfortable admitting it to myself, but I can’t lie to myself, or to you, any more. I know you don’t want me to be alone any more, but you deserve to know that it might be a man who ends that. Pause. Both twins turn to look at their brother. He abruptly stood up, and for a split second I thought he was going to storm out of the room. He swept around the table and from behind my chair wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder. I think he was trying not to cry. Navy Twin was looking at me with a grave expression, but DePaul Twin was looking down at his plate—and grinning broadly. No one says anything for a long time, and finally Navy Twin asks why I didn’t tell them. I said, honestly, first I didn’t know (or was in denial, at least), then I didn’t know what it would mean, and ultimately, I wasn’t ready. Not ready and not willing to say something until I was. Older Brother squeezed harder at that but didn’t say anything. Navy Twin says, with a trembling voice, “We’d have understood,” but was interrupted by the voice of Older Brother, muffled by his face being pressed into me, saying, “Shut up.” He stood up and went back to his chair, and his eyes were red (no tears, though). After a pause, Navy Twin said, “We just want you to be happy. Nothing else matters. We need you to do whatever makes you happy,” and of course I remembered his parting words on his first day at the Academy. “Be happy.” I asked them if they’d ever suspected and they said no. I asked the twins why they had looked at their brother when I told them, and they said back when they were trying to get me to date women, my oldest apparently made a joke about me wanting a boyfriend instead, and the twins had gotten mad at him. My oldest said none of them could care less, and asked if it had been hard keeping it to myself. I told them I had spoken with their uncle about it a while ago, and Navy twin said , “Oh, that was a good idea.” Older Brother said “Don’t tell us if you don’t want to, but is this just an idea, or have you…?” And I interrupted to say don’t expect any details, but yes, I’ve had some experiences. (Once again, very wide eyes.) OB then leans across the table and grinning says, “You are being careful, right?” To which I responded that I believe I had given them the talk about precautions years ago, hadn’t I? And they all laughed. And after that, it was all okay. A long conversation followed, but pretty relaxed (and no sexual details asked for or given). I told them about the gay basketball group I’ve been hanging out with. DePaul Twin hadn’t said anything but had been smiling the whole time. It turns out this was the second coming-out he’d heard this year. His Irish roommate brought a number of girls to the room so my boy had to clear out, but this year he occasionally brought a guy! He asked my son if he minded, and DePaul Twin said who cares? His roommate told him he was bisexual but preferred women. And I said I didn’t know what label fits me, but I suppose bisexual is the place to start. (Nods from all) While each of them has separately come to me to talk a bit about it, that was mostly that. I have heard them talking in one of their rooms a few times and I imagine this is the topic, but they’ve treated it as no big deal, as some of you predicted. Tonight they’re all out on dates, and as they were getting ready to leave Older Brother asked if now they should start suggesting men for me to date. I said give me a chance on my own first but if I’m not having any luck, feel free. I hope I don't regret that!

Witch Hazel, perhaps?

And he won last night!

https://www.gayforit.eu/video/355678/Piano-teacher

I'm going to weigh in and say that as porn "actors" go, he's not bad. When he's in a video playing a scene, well, he's not Daniel Day-Lewis, but he's better than most of his co-stars.

What a surprise! I just checked to see if anything had changed here and found these kind wishes. Thank you all!

Since we're about to go on hiatus, and @stevenkesslar mentioned that people enjoy reading what I'm up to (not sure that's universal, but c'est la vie), I thought I'd post an update to the thread I've truly neglected-- the one about my adventuring into life on my own. I left off above with a movie night with one of my basketball buddies from the gay sports group, an evening where we talked a lot about our situations-- he had just ended a long-term, serious relationship. Long story short, we did indeed begin hanging out occasionally apart from the weekend games, and by "hanging out" I mean that not only did we do other movies and restaurants, but we became friends with benefits. He was not interested in a romance so soon after breaking up, and I am still exploring so tried not to have any expectations. We kept it light and had fun with each other. And, for the first time since my wife died, I truly slept with someone, as in spending the night and waking up together. Usually at his place, but another first-- I had sex with a man in my own house, in my own bed. That was weird at first. After my youthful promiscuity and my loving marriage, this was new-- a buddy I had sex with once in a while, when we both felt like it. And while I strongly prefer to bottom, he's 100% versatile so sometimes we flipped, and I enjoyed that more than I expected. He was good in bed and told me I was, too. After such a long stretch of near celibacy (well, not counting lots of jerking off), I began to remember what's like to indulge the sex drive, or maybe I began to truly have a sex drive again. I first hired about 11 years ago, and in the intervening years had an intermittent sex life with men I rarely saw more than a time or two. Now I was able to get to know what he liked, and to let him know what I liked, so the sex was pretty awesome. The first time, when we discovered that his favorite position as a top was my favorite as a bottom(missionary), meant we spent a lot of time like that. This went on for about 2 1/2 months, and it really wasn't that many times. I think I might have just been getting ready to see if it could lead somewhere, when he was offered a huge promotion that meant moving to Minneapolis. I was happy for him, but this had changed me somewhat. When he moved I knew I needed to take another step toward living my life as a socially and sexually active person again. The apps like Scruff don't seem to be much help, and I'm not much interested in a nearly anonymous hookup anyway. As I've also posted above, I'm not much of a bar guy, although I go once in a while and have met some guys there. One thing to leave you with. Having become more active, even if I haven't made a true connection with anyone, means talking to the boys pretty much has to happen. I'm "out" enough now that they could find out accidentally or from someone else, and I don't want that to happen. So when the forums return in January, I think I'll have a big update for the other thread that focuses more on my relationship with them.

I can say without hesitation that the welcome I got here, and the reactions to my, admittedly verbose, saga were both deeply touching. I value the friendships I've made here, and will miss spending the holidays with everyone, and relating any news about my family to those still following my personal threads. But whatever's needed to help it return in January should be done, and the staff should enjoy their break. So Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, Peaceful Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year to everyone. As my father always said to us kids on New Year's Eve when we were too little to stay up, "See you next year!"