Two Down, One To Go

[+ sniper]

Eh, I wouldn't get too hung up about calling him your boyfriend, I hear it used all the time by much older people. And straight people do it too.

[BasketBaller]

@BasketBaller my heart rejoices for you. I'm with NT.

Thank you, my friend. I have to note that Navy Twin appears to have embraced the tradition of "swearing like a sailor." The boys and I have always been frank with each other but the language was not usually profane. But he's become quite comfortable throwing F-bombs and other curses left and right!

[+ purplekow]

Thank you, my friend. I have to note that Navy Twin appears to have embraced the tradition of "swearing like a sailor." The boys and I have always been frank with each other but the language was not usually profane. But he's become quite comfortable throwing F-bombs and other curses left and right!

By the way, which is the other thread you are reporting into? Salacious details in there? Everyone loves a hot story. I know I do and no matter if it strays off the path of total veracity. Of course, if I were to start such a thread about my love life lately, it would be pure fiction

[mike carey]

Thank you, my friend. I have to note that Navy Twin appears to have embraced the tradition of "swearing like a sailor." The boys and I have always been frank with each other but the language was not usually profane. But he's become quite comfortable throwing F-bombs and other curses left and right!

I can understand that. As a student, I had a holiday job as a labourer on the railways and I found myself swearing far more than I had previously.

[+ purplekow]

I can understand that. As a student, I had a holiday job as a labourer on the railways and I found myself swearing far more than I had previously.

My mother rarely cursed and one of my fondest memories of her is her entering a room where I was watching an HBO movie with very foul language. She said very firmly: "Please turn that off, you know I don't go for that shit". She did not know why I was laughing. That may have been one of only ten times I heard her curse in her life. So, I would suggest that if it is bothersome to hear it, you tell NT: I love you but clean up your fucking language.

[+ Gar1eth]

Thanks, as always, @BasketBaller , for the update. I love that he emailed the boys and ask for their permission to court you. How sweet. As to what to call him, PLEASE do not call him "MY MAN"

 

because every time I hear that I think of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKivfzjQxOQ:41

 

 

But if @BasketBaller doesn't call the guy MY MAN, then the guy will never know that @BasketBaller is in deep deep like with him so. That @BasketBaller's life is just despair. But that @BasketBaller doesn't care because when HiS MAN is there, the world is bright. It's all right. And what's the difference if @BasketBaller says that he'll go way. When @BasketBaller knows he'll come back another day. For whatever @BasketBaller's guy is. He is HIS.

 

Gman

 

(With deepest apologies to @BasketBaller, his friend, Fanny Brice, Barbra Streisand, and all of you out there in Message Center Land as I just couldn't help myself.)

[+ sniper]

If you really can't deal with "boyfriend," you could call him "my fella." People would know what you meant, it doesn't imply he's a child, it's not as clinical as "partner."

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

One thing, we're not sure what to call "this." We're in our 40s and both feel "boyfriend" is kind of silly, but there may be nothing better for now. DePaul Twin jokingly suggested "gentlemen friends" but that's a little too Tennessee Williams for me.

 

Who needs labels these days? Just be Biff and Baller until something naturally evolves to describe your relationship.

[BasketBaller]

So, I would suggest that if it is bothersome to hear it, you tell NT: I love you but clean up your fucking language.

 

It doesn't bother me, I'm just amused by it. But his brothers both quote whatever Marvel movie it is where Tony Stark swears and Captain America says "Language" occasionally.

Edited June 24, 2020 by BasketBaller

[+ smara]

Thanks to those of you who sent PM's wishing me a Happy Father's Day, and several people asked for an update. I'm so sorry to have left you hanging!

 

The day Navy Twin read me the riot act, I went to my room to lie down and think. When his brothers got home, he told them about our talk, and they were non-plussed to find he'd done it without them (I suspect so he could tell me his concern about his older brother). I could hear the shower going for a while and lots of murmuring, then a knock on my door. In came Older Brother and DePaul Twin to ask how I was doing. They had indeed all talked about it, but were planning to talk to me together. I said it was a lot to think about but I couldn't really argue against it, and told them I would talk to my buddy and see how it went.

 

He and I talk a lot, and Skype often, so the next evening I called him and asked if we could videochat. (That has usually involved some, ahem, cyber sex). But once we were online I basically told him what NT had said, leaving out the opinion that he's in love with me-- that was for him to say if he wanted to. He was quiet and asked what I thought. For the second time I described my promiscuity as a teenager when I slept around but never really had a girlfriend, never "went steady," and how the only relationship I'd ever been in was with my wife. And I said I missed seeing him, not just for the sex. So while I didn't quite know what it meant, I'm open to making this more serious. He grinned and said, "Are you asking me to go steady?" And we both laughed as I said yes, I guess I am. He said let me think and I'll get back to you.

 

In about a half an hour I heard a lot of commotion from the boys. I went to see what was up, and they were all in the den with their phones or laptops. My friend had emailed each one individually to say he appreciated their thoughts. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that he would always be honest with me, that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, and that he would never do anything to come between them and me. And he ended with "So I am asking your permission to court your father." DT had responded "Go for it." OB had said, "Of course you can." NT said, "Hell yes!"

 

Back to Skype, where we said okay, let's see where this goes. One thing, we're not sure what to call "this." We're in our 40s and both feel "boyfriend" is kind of silly, but there may be nothing better for now. DePaul Twin jokingly suggested "gentlemen friends" but that's a little too Tennessee Williams for me.

 

Since then we pretty much talk every day although we haven't been physically together for months. But we are still sharing more and more of our lives, and I think this is working. There's more to tell, including an issue I alluded to in the other thread, but I'll save that, for another day.

 

It's odd living in a house as one of four celibate (for now) men. Without getting too graphic let me say the issue in the house these days is not running out of toilet paper, but running out of Kleenex. Older Brother is truly miserable and spends a lot of time in his room with his laptop. Navy Twin talks with his gf every day, and DePaul Twin has a couple of friends-who-are-girls he keeps up with in Chicago. And, well, I guess I'm in a long-distance relationship even though he's just across town. Wish us all luck.

Wish you and your wonderful boys the best

[Daverwr]

Thank you, my friend. I have to note that Navy Twin appears to have embraced the tradition of "swearing like a sailor." The boys and I have always been frank with each other but the language was not usually profane. But he's become quite comfortable throwing F-bombs and other curses left and right!

That happened to me when I moved from CA to NYC for drama school. One of our exercises in school was to do something we would never do in our own lives. Mine was cursing. I took the exercise to heart and carried it out of the classroom. One night on the phone with my mother, she called me out on it. She said, “When I come home for breaks, be sure to leave the cursing in New York.” Oops. I did stop until around 50 yo! Now, I’m a f-ing mess!

[BasketBaller]

By the way, which is the other thread you are reporting into? Salacious details in there? Everyone loves a hot story. I know I do and no matter if it strays off the path of total veracity. Of course, if I were to start such a thread about my love life lately, it would be pure fiction

It's "Out and About" which was where I talked about my baby steps into openly gay life, including my first visit to a gay bar. Nothing particularly salacious, I used it for things that didn't involve the boys. Perhaps I'll share some info about my friend there and revive it. (It might get a little salacious...)

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/out-and-about.130810/

Edited June 25, 2020 by BasketBaller

[TruthBTold]

It's "Out and About" which was where I talked about my baby steps into openly gay life, including my first visit to a gay bar. Nothing particularly salacious, I used it for things that didn't involve the boys. Perhaps I'll share some info about my friend there and revive it. (It might get a little salacious...)

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/out-and-about.130810/

 

I am up for that.

[Phil_musc]

Me too. And don't think it only can be a "little" salacious. I say bring it on. I'm living - at least somewhat - through you!

[KrisParr]

My sister was driving and I was in the passenger seat of her car. We had just finished dinner and she was backing up, not paying any attention and hit a guardrail with a terrific thud. She yelled, “Holy Fuck!” And then said, “you know, now that I’ve started going back to church, I don’t swear any more. Before, I’d probably have really let it fly.” I said, “good for you”.

[LoveAustinCF]

It's "Out and About" which was where I talked about my baby steps into openly gay life, including my first visit to a gay bar. Nothing particularly salacious, I used it for things that didn't involve the boys. Perhaps I'll share some info about my friend there and revive it. (It might get a little salacious...)

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/out-and-about.130810/

 

The more salacious the better. We want to know everything.

[Phil_musc]

And don't hesitate to include pictures and/or videos. We're all spending a lot of time at home and need some stimulation.

[BasketBaller]

Well, after promising to give more details about my, hmm, "guy friend," I apologize for not doing so, but I will. In the meantime, an update on quarantine in my house. All the boys were home after spring break, and while I was happy to be all together again, I know Older Brother and Navy Twin were pining for their girlfriends. OB's gf got the word that GW will be online only for the fall semester at least, and after telling us that, he went to his room and stayed there for a long time. I think he's miserable missing her. DePaul Twin has no gf now but was playing the field in Chicago a bit, and I know he misses that. Despite my growing connection to my buddy, it's still been online for various reasons. So we've been a household of four very horny men for several months. I know I've been having Skype sex, and I don't think I'm alone. I imagine the amount of masturbation in the house has been prodigious.

 

With just us at home, there's been a regression to some old behaviors. I think weeks went by with no one wearing a shirt except when we all ate at the table-- I mandated that when they were still little boys. When they were teenagers we all referred to their end of the upstairs hall as "The Zoo, " and despite Navy Twin's fastidiousness, that name kind of applies again. Less horseplay than back then but still not very civilized. Everyone but Navy Twin got pretty shaggy, including me, but eventually DePaul Twin came downstairs having buzzed his head and shaven, so the twins again look exactly alike. The twins cook a lot, Older Brother gardens a lot, and I enjoy it all.

 

In terms of their attitudes toward me and this guy, they each have their own, as I've mentioned before. Older Brother is happy for me, but in his view it's none of his business, I should do what feels right. As mentioned above Navy Twin wants this settled, commit to him or move on. DePaul Twin, always the most sensitive, is the most curious about what it felt like to be in denial for so long, when did I first admit it to myself, how did I know, and without coming out and asking, I sense he's curious about when I started actually having sex with men. I told him that as a teen and young man I simply refused to acknowledge any attraction to males, and that led to my promiscuity with women, of which I'm not proud. I said my only real regret is that there were other boys, teammates or classmates, who made me uncomfortable or nervous, and so I avoided them as much as I could. Now, I look back and realize we could have been friends but I blocked that possibility. We were sitting on the den couch, and he paused and said, "I'm sorry." I said it was okay, and he took my hand and said, "No, it's not." And we didn't say anything for a while, just sat and held hands.

 

We are down one. Two weeks ago we drove Navy Twin to Quantico, VA, where after quarantine he has begun a training program called Leatherneck, where he'll train with the Marines to see if he wants to be one, and the Marines will see if they want him to be one. DePaul Twin has elected to do distance learning for the fall so he'll be here. His Irish roommate is stuck in Ireland so wouldn't have been back anyway. I suppose some of what drives DT's curiosity is his roommate's admission of bisexuality. At all events, we carry on.

Edited August 8, 2020 by BasketBaller

[Phil_musc]

Thanks for the update. I enjoy reading about your wonderful family - it's a kind of "My Three Sons" for our time and I'm glad you have shared so much with us here.

[+ sniper]

OB is engaged or on the verge of it, right? Would you consider inviting her to stay with him or are her parents too conservative for that to be an option?

[BabyBoomer]

@Epigonos

 

Please delete the above post. I think you posted in the wrong thread.

 

~Boomer~

[BasketBaller]

OB is engaged or on the verge of it, right? Would you consider inviting her to stay with him or are her parents too conservative for that to be an option?

Hmm, interesting, I hadn't thought of that. She'd of course be welcome, and let's face it, they were already spending most weekends at her room. I don't know if her parents would mind but travelling back from Boston might give her pause. But I hate seeing him so unhappy, so I'll float the idea with him.

[Epigonos]

Sorry about that!!!!! Thank you for the heads up

[+ sniper]

I meant like to live with you for the semester as opposed to traveling back and forth.

[BasketBaller]

I meant like to live with you for the semester as opposed to traveling back and forth.

No I got that. I just wonder whether even travelling down here to stay would be worrisome. She'd definitely be welcome to stay for the semester.