Two Down, One To Go

[BasketBaller]

You guys have been so cool and helpful as I shared the experience of facing my sexuality while raising my kids as a single father. My eldest is in his second year at Fordham, happy and thriving. On Friday one twin got a call from Delegate Norton's office that he'd been appointed to the US Naval Academy, his lifelong dream. It is amusing to see how happy he is, and his twin is almost as happy for him. That son is still waiting to hear about his college applications. Stanford is his first choice, but I hope he ends up closer, Still, whatever will be best for him is what I want.

 

So I'll have a Midshipman starting this summer. It means he'll leave home sooner, in late June, but he's only about 45 minutes away when he's in Annapolis, although he won't be able to come home often. He and his girlfriend vow they'll manage the long distance thing (she's hoping for UPenn) so we'll see. They are very serious, so maybe it'll last. And I think it's sinking in to the twins what a change it will be for them to be apart. They've always shared a room, even turning down the offer for one of them to move into their brother's room when he left for college.

 

And I feel the approaching departures deeply, now they're in the last semester of high school. Yes, I'll be free to be myself and find out what that means, but I'll be on my own for the first time in my life, really. Lots of discovery to come, I think, for all of us.

[escortrod]

I expect I am not alone in looking forward to reading your future exploits.

[down_to_business]

Congrats papa... an empty nest is a sign of success. Sure you have your new course to chart and explore, but it also won't be too long in the scheme of things before your life is filled again with different family obligations. I see the makings of a pretty terrific grandfather and I bet your life and home will be overflowing with grandchildren somewhere down the road. All the best and enjoy this time on your own.

[TruthBTold]

It looks like you have done much of your job and done it very, very well. They will have shoulder many of the responsibilities here on in, tho I know they will look back over their shoulders just to keep their bearings. And as you acknowledge, you will have a whole new life ahead of you. How exciting!

[DDad4ynger]

The Naval Academy does a great job keeping families in touch and involved but not letting that get too close LOL.

Congratulations on what sounds like an awesome job with your kids.

I always say most of the time they will end up with their supposed to be! ( this is the old college professors voice LOL )

Suffice it to say, with your empty nest approaching quickly, you will have some fun adventures ahead!

[+ Gar1eth]

Congratulations to both you on raising three boys successfully, and to your son for making it into the Naval Academy.

 

This has probably been discussed before. But I don't remember-are your twins identical or fraternal?

 

My family has a set of 5 year old (fraternal) twin boys. As infants and toddlers, I had trouble telling them apart. Looking back at their infant and toddler pictures,I still can't tell. It helped that in posed pictures, their mother always had each twin positioned on the same side. Luckily they definitely have different appearances now. It helps that they have different hairstyles. I can still have trouble when I first see them again after a time away from them (I don't get to see them that often).

 

Their parents put them in separate kindergarten classes this year. This is their first separation although they aren't very separated since the classes aren't located very far apart and have the same break time.

 

Cute story-Twin A did something good in class and had the privilege of bringing in a 'show-n-tell' item. He brought Twin B as his item.

 

Gman

[rvwnsd]

Wow, @BasketBaller, that's great news! You must be very proud. Congratulations.

[BasketBaller]

This has probably been discussed before. But I don't remember-are your twins identical or fraternal?

 

They're identical, as alike as two peas in a pod, as they say. They were mono-amniotic, very risky but no complications as it turned out. Unless they have different haircuts it's still typical that I mistake one for the other. If they're together I can tell them apart but if one comes in alone it's a toss-up. Interestingly, their brother has no problem, he can always tell which is which. I've mentioned before that they occasionally speak in unison, which always takes people aback.

 

The soon-to-be Midshipman will have his head shaved the day he enters the Academy, and they've already agreed they'll both shave their heads the day before to get him ready. I'll never be able to tell them apart then.

[Epigonos]

As a former high school teacher (36 years) it is wonderful to see a parent who appears to have done it RIGHT. My sincere congratulations.

 

P.S. Would love to meet you and hope you might consider attending the Palm Springs

Weekend.

[Phil_musc]

Great thread. Kudos to BasketBaller (again - he seems to do and get so much right)

[BasketBaller]

As a former high school teacher (36 years) it is wonderful to see a parent who appears to have done it RIGHT. My sincere congratulations.

 

Thank you, my friend. I am so grateful to their wonderful teachers, who work so hard for their students.

 

[quote= P.S. Would love to meet you and hope you might consider attending the Palm Springs

Weekend.

 

I'm thinking about it, maybe next year. I was all set to try the DC gathering next year so I hope that happens too.

[BasketBaller]

Great thread. Kudos to BasketBaller (again - he seems to do and get so much right)

Well, my housekeeping leaves a lot to be desired, I freely admit. I always got the boys to school clean and neat and healthily fed. But the house was sometimes a bit of a war zone. (And, ahem, still is. Sometimes.)

[+ sniper]

Congratulations BasketBaller. Regarding the "can't tell them apart" thing. I've always wondered with identical twins - if as infants you mixed them up once and went with it going forward....how would you know? Did you have their fingerprints or footprints saved? I mean ultimately it doesn't really make a difference.

[BasketBaller]

Congratulations BasketBaller. Regarding the "can't tell them apart" thing. I've always wondered with identical twins - if as infants you mixed them up once and went with it going forward....how would you know? Did you have their fingerprints or footprints saved? I mean ultimately it doesn't really make a difference.

The nurses had wristbands on each one as soon as he was born, and they advised us to keep them on until we could tell them apart. Fortunately, one has a tiny mole on his back so we never were too worried that we had mixed them up permanently. But we often speculated about whether it really made a difference, too!

[gallahadesquire]

Did you ever consider tattooing their foreheads "1" and "2", or other designations?

[rvwnsd]

Did you ever consider tattooing their foreheads "1" and "2", or other designations?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GfBZmou_4_0/TREMhR8XjAI/AAAAAAAAAC8/uOXz2mPar60/s1600/51.jpg

[rvwnsd]

[gallahadesquire]

5207 3001 0917 9170

 

It just sounds right. I miss that account.

[BasketBaller]

Did you ever consider tattooing their foreheads "1" and "2", or other designations?

One thing that was suggested to us that we almost did was to paint one of their toenails! Apparently some parents of twins paint a toenail on one twin so they can keep them straight.

 

But we did make plenty of "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" jokes until they got old enough to object.

[+ azdr0710]

have the twins ever done the ol' trade girlfriends trick??!!

[+ purplekow]

Congratulations to your sons on their academic success and their love for each other and you. I expect that it will be a major transition for you and that it will be a difficult one. I hope you have some good friends or relatives to help fill the void that will be created with their absence. Depending on where you live and you expectations regarding being more open about your sexuality, it may be a great time to get involved with some gay organizations in your area. There are gay basketball and softball leagues which may be a way of meeting people in a non-sexually charged environment. But for now, enjoy the time you have left with the boys. They are still boys, smart, athletic and mature boys, but boys just the sam, but they will be men the first time they return on a college break. Of course, men need their Dads as much as boys do, because that never changes.

[BasketBaller]

have the twins ever done the ol' trade girlfriends trick??!!

Not that I know, and I think I don't want to know!

[BasketBaller]

Congratulations to your sons on their academic success and their love for each other and you. I expect that it will be a major transition for you and that it will be a difficult one. I hope you have some good friends or relatives to help fill the void that will be created with their absence. Depending on where you live and you expectations regarding being more open about your sexuality, it may be a great time to get involved with some gay organizations in your area. There are gay basketball and softball leagues which may be a way of meeting people in a non-sexually charged environment. But for now, enjoy the time you have left with the boys. They are still boys, smart, athletic and mature boys, but boys just the sam, but they will be men the first time they return on a college break. Of course, men need their Dads as much as boys do, because that never changes.

Thank you so much, my friend. Yes, my plan is to embrace the time we have before they go off to their schools, and then do exactly what you suggest-- explore some gay social/athletic group activities and gingerly see where that leads me. The advice I've gotten here has been so thoughtful and helpful.

 

And of course, them going away to college does not mean they're gone for good! I'm looking forward to seeing where life takes them, and me.

[+ Gar1eth]

We may have touched on this before, but if so, I've forgotten. I'm betting being in a 4 male household that you have already done this. But have you taught your boys how to do laundry?

 

I learned to some extent as a teenager. I can't remember whether I just picked it up or whether my Mom actively showed me at some point. My Aunt (my mother's sister), G-d rest her soul because she was a wonderful woman, never showed her sons or her husband how to do the wash. When the oldest son went away to college (in the same city where we lived), he would show up on the weekends with a lawn bag or two full of clothes reeking of aftershave. He would tell my Mom that he didn't need the clothes until later that afternoon. My Mom eventually told him that she didn't mind doing his clothes, but she'd need more time (or smaller loads). When his younger brother came to town for college several years later, Mom taught him how to do his own laundry (although I'm sure she helped a lot).

 

Gman

Edited January 20, 2017 by Gar1eth

[rvwnsd]

We may have touched on this before, but if so, I've forgotten. I'm betting being in a 4 male household that you have already done this. But have you taught your boys how to do laundry?...

My mom worked and my dad stayed at home (he was a freelance artist). Dad showed us how to do laundry (hey, guys, the faster we get this done the sooner we go to [fill in the blank of someplace we wanted to go]) and mom used it as a bonding moment, given she was not around during the weekdays. The one thing mom loved to do was iron shirts. She said it was relaxing. So, even as an adult, she would ASK me to bring them over. When I started taking them to a dry cleaner she remarked "they don't do them as well as I do."

 

Anyhow, @BasketBaller I am sure you have taught your boys everything they need to know about everything they need to know. Again, you are a great dad.