*Encouraging Providers to Participate more on Forums.

[+ SirBillybob]

While the social comportment finishing school lessons are appreciated, it’s a bit rich to moralize about chat-room toxicity while hard-wiring into the reaction bar contemptuous one-click micro insults [this guy …] for ridicule, dismissiveness, and sarcastic sneering. 

Edited Thursday at 02:09 PM by SirBillybob

[d.anders]

11 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

unfortunately an obvious trolling attempt in the OP

I have no idea who marylander1940 is, but I'm having trouble seeing a "troll" attempt in his simple, matter of fact question. A troll effort isn't that obvious to me, and it bothers me that a moderator would jump to this conclusion. (Maybe there is something I don't know.) Here lies the problem with judging words on a platform like this.

I don't know the percentage, but I assume many people who hire sex workers do so in large part based on looks or type, and if porn star looks act as any litmus test, Mr. TxDaddyBear might have a difficult time getting hired by Falcon Studios. We can all agree that while there may be a market for TxDaddyBear, based on ads, he falls into less than 1% of types. Given what is obvious about ad offerings, is marylander1940's question really harmful in any way? Have any of you ever been to a marketing meeting at any corporation? These types of questions have to be asked if you want to keep your job.

Edited Thursday at 02:28 PM by d.anders

[+ SirBillybob]

31 minutes ago, d.anders said:

I have no idea who marylander1940 is, but I'm having trouble seeing a "troll" attempt in his simple, matter of fact question. A troll effort isn't that obvious to me, and it bothers me that a moderator would jump to this conclusion. (Maybe there is something I don't know.) Here lies the problem with judging words on a platform like this.

I don't know the percentage, but I assume many people who hire sex workers do so in large part based on looks or type, and if porn star looks act as any limit test, Mr. TxDaddyBear might have a difficult time getting hired by Falcon Studios. We can all agree that while there may be a market for TxDaddyBear, based on ads, he falls into less than 1% of types. Given what is obvious about ad offerings, is marylander1940's question really harmful in any way? Have any of you ever been to a marketing meeting at any corporation? These types of questions have to be asked if you want to keep your job.

We’ve been through this. Whatever the intent and the ensuing commentary, if you don’t want your plausible deniability wearing a trenchcoat you would best frame your topic opener more neutrally, eg, a positive statement about market diversity, or the usual ‘any experience?’, and avoid setting up for yes / no answer based on appearances. Or simply recognize chacun ses goûts and skip posting.

Edited Thursday at 02:54 PM by SirBillybob

[d.anders]

21 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

you would best frame your topic opener more neutrally

Perhaps. If only we all would think before we speak.

[+ ApexNomad]

2 hours ago, d.anders said:

I have no idea who marylander1940 is, but I'm having trouble seeing a "troll" attempt in his simple, matter of fact question. A troll effort isn't that obvious to me, and it bothers me that a moderator would jump to this conclusion. (Maybe there is something I don't know.) Here lies the problem with judging words on a platform like this.

I don't know the percentage, but I assume many people who hire sex workers do so in large part based on looks or type, and if porn star looks act as any litmus test, Mr. TxDaddyBear might have a difficult time getting hired by Falcon Studios. We can all agree that while there may be a market for TxDaddyBear, based on ads, he falls into less than 1% of types. Given what is obvious about ad offerings, is marylander1940's question really harmful in any way? Have any of you ever been to a marketing meeting at any corporation? These types of questions have to be asked if you want to keep your job.

I think this is less about whether a market exists and more about how the question is being asked.

When you take a real person’s body and frame it as is there a market for this, it stops feeling like a business discussion and starts feeling like public evaluation. Whether intentional or not, it opens the door for people to pile on, scrutinize or reduce someone to how they measure up.

The broader impact in my opinion isn’t just on the person in the ad, but on anyone reading this who sees themselves in that body type or age bracket. It reinforces the idea that certain bodies are up for debate, or more importantly, somehow less valid.

I guess the bigger question is why are we even doing this? He clearly has a market. He has reviews. So what’s the purpose of dissecting it like this?

[d.anders]

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

When you take a real person’s body and frame it as is there a market for this, it stops feeling like a business discussion and starts feeling like public evaluation. Whether intentional or not, it opens the door for people to pile on, scrutinize or reduce someone to how they measure up.

Are we talking body shape or penis size? Are there different kinds of measuring up that are more acceptable? Gays here are "measuring up" every other thread, and I don't see anyone questioning it or being offended in any way. Where does one draw the line when it comes to "public evaluation" when the ads are motivated by so many photos? 

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

The broader impact in my opinion isn’t just on the person in the ad, but on anyone reading this who sees themselves in that body type or age bracket. It reinforces the idea that certain bodies are up for debate, or more importantly, somehow less valid.

Again, is the same not true for cock size, and the endless threads on that subject? For gay men and the subject of sex, isn't cock size the first "valid" test to pass?

I guess after awhile, those of us who don't look like porn stars, are old, or have average-sized cocks, are going to feel beaten down by public evaluation. Maybe this is just one more example of a beating, and there's a limit to what we all can tolerate. I'm having a difficult time trying to parse these differentials into coherency.

[+ PhileasFogg]

15 hours ago, SecretProvider said:

And you will never know because I have tattoos, thank the lord. And if I didn't have them, nothing would encourage me to get them more so than reading your comments and knowing it would mean I am protected from you.

(this comment from the CLOWN is one of the 'you don't even go here' comments I mentioned earlier. Exhibit A) 

I'm glad you think that this is a trial with an Exhibit A....FWIW, I don't think any of us care to hear much more of your rhetoric and attacks against @BOZO T CLOWN.   Either like him or leave him...but don't involve us in the drama please.

 

Edited Thursday at 08:57 PM by PhileasFogg

[TBD]

5 hours ago, d.anders said:

I have no idea who marylander1940 is, but I'm having trouble seeing a "troll" attempt in his simple, matter of fact question. A troll effort isn't that obvious to me, and it bothers me that a moderator would jump to this conclusion. (Maybe there is something I don't know.) Here lies the problem with judging words on a platform like this.

 @marylander1940 absolutely started that thread in order to watch people ridicule and mock that provider. Pretending otherwise is simply inauthentic.

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, d.anders said:

I have no idea who marylander1940 is, but I'm having trouble seeing a "troll" attempt in his simple, matter of fact question. A troll effort isn't that obvious to me, and it bothers me that a moderator would jump to this conclusion. (Maybe there is something I don't know.) Here lies the problem with judging words on a platform like this.

I don't know the percentage, but I assume many people who hire sex workers do so in large part based on looks or type, and if porn star looks act as any litmus test, Mr. TxDaddyBear might have a difficult time getting hired by Falcon Studios. We can all agree that while there may be a market for TxDaddyBear, based on ads, he falls into less than 1% of types. Given what is obvious about ad offerings, is marylander1940's question really harmful in any way? Have any of you ever been to a marketing meeting at any corporation? These types of questions have to be asked if you want to keep your job.

Thank you!

The word "troll" has been overused in this site and in real life also.

9 minutes ago, TBD said:

 @marylander1940 absolutely started that thread in order to watch people ridicule and mock that provider. Pretending otherwise is simply inauthentic.

The glass is half empty or half full based on our perspective. Maybe you think a person with that body type is an easy target. 

Edited Thursday at 08:25 PM by marylander1940

[TBD]

3 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Thank you!

The word "troll" has been overused in this site and in real life also.

The glass is half empty or half full based on our perspective. Maybe you think a person with that body type is an easy target. 

It's not fooling anyone. It's a shame you are choosing to act this way because I previously thought well of your posts.  

[marylander1940]

2 minutes ago, TBD said:

It's not fooling anyone. It's a shame you are choosing to act this way because I previously thought well of your posts.  

you can still like many of my posts and threads except this one. You won't always like/agree with others n every single issue.

Just one thread and it's that's enough to dislike my participations.

One more time if you don't like a thread don't bump it or even mention it just move on.

Personally, I wouldn't hire someone like him and that's the only thing I have said and will say about his looks. 

[+ Jamie21]

As a provider with pictures and videos of me out there advertising my services I realise my body is going to get criticised. (Although the only criticism my cock has ever had is that it’s too big…just wanted to make that point…). Seriously if you do get sensitive about punters criticising your body then you probably shouldn’t be in this business. However, I think some of the very personal and cutting comment is guys being critical because taking you down makes them feel better about themselves. They’d love to do the work themselves but can’t, so they enjoy criticising those who do put themselves out there. 

[TBD]

33 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Personally, I wouldn't hire someone like him and that's the only thing I have said and will say about his looks.

Thus proving the point that you created the thread simply to invite mockery, instead of genuine interest in the provider. We can all see that. And rather than admit it, you choose to double down with a very weak come back of 'if you don't like it, move on'.  You are better than this, and so are your contributions. 

This entire thread has in fact made a resolve in me that I will not just 'move on', but instead call out poor behavior. If you do not like being called out, you be better.  If anyone needs to be told something 'one more time', I encourage you to read this thread from the start. Good day to you. Be Better. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Unfortunately, you can't force people to be gentlemen on a forum like this.

I have noticed this - sometimes forum members who gratuitously post opinions about an escort without knowing them will quickly change their mind and sometimes even apologize if confronted by the provider on this forum.

I still think the forum is useful for providers to read, but there's little incentive to post here.

Also, please note that providers are not universally nice people, and we've had gratuitous rude remarks from some of them as well.

As it is, it looks like clients will have to simply be happy they have a place to chat, and this is a great resource that way.

[d.anders]

18 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

As a provider with pictures and videos of me out there advertising my services I realise my body is going to get criticised.

I don't remember specific details, but I will never forget the public beating Jude Law took after appearing nude either in film of via paparazzi photos. I'm not even talking about gay forums. The ridicule was coming from everywhere, even Yahoo chat spaces. I always thought the guy was hot, so I truly felt sorry for him, and sorry for the far too numerous assholes poking fun at him. We live in a cruel world, which is why I appreciate every good moment I have left.

24 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

They’d love to do the work themselves but can’t

Well, if you weren't born with great genes, and your social skills suck, there's only so much any of us can do to compete with the sex gods. There must be a lot of unhappy gay men out there who are displeased, looking for ways to feel better about their situation. What if your physically not considered attractive, and you're living in the closet? Isn't this a common category of customer for sex workers? It must be a wonderful feeling to have that intimate moment with a fantasy guy. But once the appointment is over, you have to go home and live the life you secretly dread. I'm not trying to excuse rude or uncivil behavior. But I suspect there are a lot of unsatisfied gay men out there, dreaming of happiness, who can't afford the going hourly rate.

[+ Lucky]

I saw Jude Law nude in a Broadway play. He was in a bathtub and got out to dress. I like it!

As for criticizing providers, this topic has come up before. We have members who scroll the listings and find things to criticize even though the provider is in a different city and the poster was never going to hire them anyway. Yes, I have specific people in mind. It didn't change back then and won't change now. If I were a provider I would not indulge my time here.

[marylander1940]

39 minutes ago, TBD said:

Thus proving the point that you created the thread simply to invite mockery, instead of genuine interest in the provider. We can all see that. And rather than admit it, you choose to double down with a very weak come back of 'if you don't like it, move on'.  You are better than this, and so are your contributions. 

 

it's called keeping it short. 

I hope you also go after those who truly made dislike his body type.

39 minutes ago, TBD said:

 

This entire thread has in fact made a resolve in me that I will not just 'move on', but instead call out poor behavior. If you do not like being called out, you be better.  If anyone needs to be told something 'one more time', I encourage you to read this thread from the start. Good day to you. Be Better. 

You won't move on, that's enough said.

[marylander1940]

53 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

As a provider with pictures and videos of me out there advertising my services I realise my body is going to get criticised. (Although the only criticism my cock has ever had is that it’s too big…just wanted to make that point…). Seriously if you do get sensitive about punters criticising your body then you probably shouldn’t be in this business. However, I think some of the very personal and cutting comment is guys being critical because taking you down makes them feel better about themselves. They’d love to do the work themselves but can’t, so they enjoy criticising those who do put themselves out there. 

Agreed!

if I had a dollar for every time I poste this picture when folks mock a provider's looks...

Edited Thursday at 09:58 PM by marylander1940

[+ Jamie21]

30 minutes ago, d.anders said:

What if your physically not considered attractive, and you're living in the closet? Isn't this a common category of customer for sex workers?

One of the reasons I stay here. To share my experience:  There’s no correlation between being physically attractive and being sexy in bed. None whatsoever. Being sexy is about having self confidence, empathy and intuition. Plus some humour, intelligence and communication skills. 

The other misconception is that it’s mostly closeted ‘unattractive’ guys that hire. My experience is all sorts of guys hire. 

[marylander1940]

19 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

Yes, unfortunately an obvious trolling attempt in the OP. Difficult to moderate them as we try and let people speak their minds. 

I am proud to have been called an "endless apologist for escorts" among other things.

I simply started a thread about an escort who doesn't look like your average escort. That's all.

I remember @Jamie21 saying  in one of his contributions about someone who was thinking about starting escorting: "your market will find you"

Is there a market for escorts who look like him 🤔?

[Nightowl]

29 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

The other misconception is that it’s mostly closeted ‘unattractive’ guys that hire. My experience is all sorts of guys hire. 

I’m proof of that.  I’m smokin’ hot and still hire. 😂

[+ PhileasFogg]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Although the only criticism my cock has ever had is that it’s too big…just wanted to make that point…

I get it…I have that problem too 😉

[DavidNY]

Honestly, I want providers to know about this site.  I want them to know if they steal, misrepresent their services or their appearance/age, or do all the things that bad providers do, that we talk to each other and will ruin them.  This site keeps providers honest (as much as it’s possible) and accountable and keeps clients safe and not wasting their money or time.  I also love it when I see clearly good providers getting their business boosted from good reviews on here.  There’s a few clients I follow because I trust their opinion.  And I have seen disagreements resolved. Net benefit.  Generally I think providers should mostly focus on being good and the rewards will follow.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

13 hours ago, d.anders said:

there's only so much any of us can do to compete with the sex gods.

The community framing a certain group of men, primarily based on how conventionally attractive they are, as "sex gods" is crazy behavior. We're all just people. I've known supposed "10s" whose personalities make them troglodytes and "3s" whose personalities and sense of humor make them super attractive. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

13 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

One of the reasons I stay here. To share my experience:  There’s no correlation between being physically attractive and being sexy in bed. None whatsoever. Being sexy is about having self confidence, empathy and intuition. Plus some humour, intelligence and communication skills. 

The other misconception is that it’s mostly closeted ‘unattractive’ guys that hire. My experience is all sorts of guys hire. 

I couldn't agree with this more. My husband and I are both attractive, fit, and in shape. We largely hire for convenience, given busy, competing schedules and the fact that we don't really go to bars and clubs at this point. And the apps are a huge waste of time. 

And the providers who become our regulars are usually less perfect 10s and more like 7s who have the qualities @Jamie21 cited.