How much personal real-life information do you share?

[Veryshyone]

For me, it depends on the situation. A regular provider would receive more information about me versus a one and done or traveling provider. I wouldn't provide my address as I always do outcall but do provide my real first name or nickname in all interactions. Always pay cash as well so my full name is not exposed. 

[Delter]

I never share details unless I’m hosting. I use a fake first name, and I also use a second phone for hires.

 

I’ve gotten close with one or two guys in Miami and NYC, and they know my first name. 
 

You don’t want to give a provider any sense that they can try to blackmail you with something. Especially not a provider you’ve just met and who doesn’t have excellent reviews.

[Keenan]

21 hours ago, Wings246 said:

How much personal real-life information do you share with your providers/clients?  And when?

I know anonymity and discretion are the cornerstones of this hobby.  Perhaps I’m too new to all these, too naïve, too foolish, and too trusting too quickly, but I tend to tell my providers everything about myself truthfully the very first time I meet with them.

Most of them know my real name, where I live/work, my real phone number (I don’t have a burner number), and many other personal details of my life.

So far, they all seem to be very decent, upright people.  That's why I’m not too worried about sharing my info with them.  I’m a nobody, small potatoes, your run-of-the-mill peasant.  I keep wondering, “What do I have to lose even if they know my personal info?”  I guess I’m lucky in that I still haven’t been burned…… yet.

Maybe I’m just too careless (or reckless even?)…… should I be more discreet?

I’m interested in learning from your perspectives and experiences.

As a provider I always avoid sharing personal details, especially my real name.  I'm providing a fantasy for my clients as Keenan and when I put on my work outfit and head to a client I am Keenan providing a fantasy for my client.

[Whippoorwill]

When I am at home base, I do a lot of research before meeting. My usuals are in their 30s, foreign born, popular, and personally recommended by others on this board, by other providers I know, and well-reviewed. I figure they have a lot more to lose than I do. I always use my real name, phone number, etc. In a first meeting, I try and model genuineness, honesty, and interest in them as a person. I find they usually respond in kind, and more so, as we have multiple meetings. I have been pleasantly surprised at the personal sharing...name, family, jobs or schools, immigration status, love-life, etc. which increases the level of intimacy for me. It also has given me the opportunity to provide real assistance and advice as an older, experienced, connected person just as they provide youth, energy, currency, and sexual energy to me. When I am traveling and it's going to be a one and done, I still do the research and am genuine, but without the thought of developing a real relationship. 

[+ JamesB]

Information once shared cannot be unshared. Shared information cannot be retrieved, only regretted. Choose wisely.

[DaddyCares]

Its crazy how much we would have to provide if we were straight. I know most women get men to give them pictures, personal information, and background checks. 

[Becket]

I lie like a rug.

[D21howie]

Good morning.  For personal information I will share my likes to see if the escort and I are a good match.  There have been a few good ones and a few bad ones.  Right now I have not been hiring any escorts for the past two years because my mom is on hospice for dementia.  I been her caregiver along with another lady through out the week.  I had an escort go bezerk yesterday because I had not hire him for two years and he know why.  It upset me for a bit because it was a slam in the face after all the cards and gifts I sent him.  I am usually the forgive and forget type.  I am going to let his ass cool down for awhile.

[+ sf westcoaster]

Very little, however if I establish a repeat relationship, then I will reveal more about my self, but still guarded.

 

[ShortCutie7]

1 hour ago, D21howie said:

Good morning.  For personal information I will share my likes to see if the escort and I are a good match.  There have been a few good ones and a few bad ones.  Right now I have not been hiring any escorts for the past two years because my mom is on hospice for dementia.  I been her caregiver along with another lady through out the week.  I had an escort go bezerk yesterday because I had not hire him for two years and he know why.  It upset me for a bit because it was a slam in the face after all the cards and gifts I sent him.  I am usually the forgive and forget type.  I am going to let his ass cool down for awhile.

I have a similar reason as one of the many I don’t hire nearly as often as I’d like… I wish guys (both escorts and guys on Grindr etc) would understand that we can’t just drop all responsibilities and run to play with them whenever we want. Every time someone writes something like “why not come now?!” I am tempted to block him lol.

[D21howie]

2 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I have a similar reason as one of the many I don’t hire nearly as often as I’d like… I wish guys (both escorts and guys on Grindr etc) would understand that we can’t just drop all responsibilities and run to play with them whenever we want. Every time someone writes something like “why not come now?!” I am tempted to block him lol.

I agree.  My schedule is out of whack at times.  I am one that plan’s.  When my mom got sick I had to stop doing a lot of things that I did because my mom couldn’t be left alone medical wise.  I am not going to hire a caregiver every time somebody wants action because they are expensive.  I had one call me on the job and he didn’t like it when I told him I call him when I get home from work.  He thought I was lying.  He block me right away.

[DaddyCares]

This is a very interesting question. I've come to believe that it's probably better for everyone to give a little bit more information. But I don't think that anyone is really willing to do that. I understand the lack of trust, but it would be so much easier if we could just verify each other.

[Midwestguy89]

Maybe controversial but I want them to feel comfortable meeting with me so I do share a fair bit. Like I don’t have a burner phone, I share my real name, I share pictures, even what part of town I’m in If I’m hosting. But it’s so they understand I’m not only serious but will treat them well and I’m a good communicator.

when I host it’s obviously clear they can see a lot about me from pictures in my house, the decor and it’s definitely something i get comments on. I don’t mind answering their questions and I am lucky enough that nothing has ever crossed any kind of boundary. 
 

I did have one provider that didn’t want to be asked any questions. Like not even how his day was, etc. I found this to be really odd and it felt way too robotic and transactional and a big turn off for me - mutual questions that are harmless builds connection and comfort (at least for me).

it is flattering when after the engagement they end up trusting you and disclose their real name and even direct phone number unprompted. That made me feel as though they at least would be down for a repeat and I made them feel comfortable.  

[+ Alabastrine]

At first I didn't share anything. But over time if you become a regular, things eventually get shared as trust and connection builds, or something happens where your name drops by accident. My escort, after an overnight, was politely keeping me company while I waited on the valet to bring my car to the front of the hotel after checking out. My car pulled up and the valet stepped out of the car, and he loudly confirmed my name to make sure he had the right car before handing me the keys. This was well within earshot of the escort. so any hopes of keeping my real name under wraps kinda got shat upon at that moment. Up until that point all he had was my nickname. But it wasn't a big deal since we were already building a healthy and trustful provider/client relationship.

Edited Friday at 05:06 PM by Alabastrine

[liubit]

In my 30+ years of hiring in NY, Europe, and Asia, I have never had any privacy-related problem. This is what I do:

- I communicate via WhatsApp, using a separate account attached to a long-expired phone number from another country

- I also have a Telegram account, with the same expired number hidden  

- I always use my real first name, because I find it too confusing to go by another name

- If asked about my professional activity, I give a very vague and general response  

- I always host my providers, so they do get to know where I live, but I don’t really care about this

As relationships progress with regular providers, even if we get to know a bit more about each other I keep the same basic rules (never my real name, never my real phone number, never my real profession, etc). The system has worked for me.

Edited Saturday at 05:04 AM by liubit