Do you become less selective over time?

[Mark_fl]

Question for those of you hiring, or even just having encounters. Do you find that your tastes have expanded, or you've become less selective over time? 

With women I've been able to be attracted to women my age. But it seems with men I've only been attracted to a much younger specific type.

I feel this would preclude me from ever having an appropriate same sex relationship outside a financial one unless miraculously someone that much younger would find me attractive.

Has anyone else ever been in the same boat and have your tastes evolved over time?

[jmichaeliii]

30 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Question for those of you hiring, or even just having encounters. Do you find that your tastes have expanded, or you've become less selective over time? 

With women I've been able to be attracted to women my age. But it seems with men I've only been attracted to a much younger specific type.

I feel this would preclude me from ever having an appropriate same sex relationship outside a financial one unless miraculously someone that much younger would find me attractive.

Has anyone else ever been in the same boat and have your tastes evolved over time?

Young and hot, but with a mature personality.  They are out there.

[Danny-Darko]

I have found I've become far more selective over time as I've gotten older. I hire far less and figure if I can't have want I want at the moment, why bother. I was always a bit selective (picky my friends would say) with my tastes, but not as much as I've become. At my age I know what I like and want in life and what I don't want or like, so why experiment. But that's just me, I understand others have different tastes and views. Many senior men I know have become less selective willing to take or settle for whatever they can get. I understand that, but I don't feel that way.

Edited January 27 by Danny-Darko

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Mark_fl said:

But it seems with men I've only been attracted to a much younger specific type.

The nice thing about getting older is there are more and more men younger than I.  Therefore, the field of men I find attractive increases every year.

[BeHappy]

23 minutes ago, Danny-Darko said:

I have found I've become far more selective over time as I've gotten older. I hire far less and figure if I can't have want I want at the moment, why bother. I was always a bit selective (picky my friends would say) with my tastes, but no as much as I've become. At my age I know what I like and want in life and what I don't want or like, so why experiment. But that's just me, I understand others have different tastes and views. Many seniors men I know have become less selective willing to take or settle for whatever they can get. I understand that, but I don't feel that way.

I agree totally!  I have always been selective!  Less selective opens the door to issues and less than desirable results!  

[+ JamesB]

I’ve become much more selective over time. I used to jump into bed with anything that had a pulse, but these days, especially when hiring, I’m far more discerning. I know what I want, how I want it, and when and I’m no longer willing to tolerate nonsense. The moment things don’t align with my expectations, I move on. Also at this point, my tolerance for drama is zero.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I have become more selective over time. When I was younger I was experimenting and trying many things that I came to learn I do not really like. Plus, I used to have a limitless stamina, so every sex was good sex because I was always able to have more. 

Nowadays, my stamina is limited and I treasure the fun time, I would not invest my money and/or time on an experience I am not reasonably confident I would enjoy. 

Edited January 27 by José Soplanucas

[+ KensingtonHomo]

It seems I'm the opposite of you. I find that I'm more selective with the type of person a provider is, rather than their looks. That said, I've always been attracted to men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. I typically don't find men in their 20s attractive and really never have. Now that I'm the age I used to desire, I haven't really found a significant change - except perhaps I now find men in their 60s and 70s attractive as well. 

I generally think that the focus on youth = beauty is very much a creation of advertising and marketing. And particularly in our digital age, we're hyper-focused on appearance when that's really only one component of attraction. I've been with my husband for 24 years, and I find him just as attractive now as I did when we met. I feel like aging also lets people become more themselves. I imagine that's part of what you find attractive in women your own age. Assuming you're at least my age, I find that at this point, most women have stopped trying to impress other people; they have gravitas and know what they want. Perhaps you can see that in other men. 

[jeffla]

I've always been selective, but probably more today than before. 

[Mark_fl]

I never said I was being less selective. Actually my concern is that I won't be. So far I'm the same as ever.

[+ PhileasFogg]

I’m considerably more selective and more focused on making reliable, drama free, sober regulars 

[Danny-Darko]

1 hour ago, Mark_fl said:

I never said I was being less selective. Actually my concern is that I won't be. So far I'm the same as ever.

I don't think anybody has made any assumptions. You asked, and people have answered. And surprisingly there seems to be a common consensus. But neither being less, same or more selective is neither good nor bad. These are all personal choices. It was a very good question to ask. It's given me and probably others food for thought. I've had to reflect back on a lifetime of gay sex and hiring since my first hire was just days after turning 19! Nobody is judging here I don't think. I'm appreciating everybody's feedback. 

[+ SidewaysDM]

My experience is very limited. I’ve only been hiring for a short time! But I am selective when it comes to the age of my provider. Being 64, my provider needs to over 30. Love the guys over 40, 50 and 60, as well! Because of my age, I feel like I am robbing the cradle, if I hire a twenty something! 🤣 

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, SidewaysDM said:

My experience is very limited. I’ve only been hiring for a short time! But I am selective when it comes to the age of my provider. Being 64, my provider needs to over 30. Love the guys over 40, 50 and 60, as well! Because of my age, I feel like I am robbing the cradle, if I hire a twenty something! 🤣 

Interesting.  I wish there was a poll option, where you could state your age range and preferred provider ranges.

[liubit]

My preferred age bracket for providers has always been 18-30, and that is what I hire. Of course, I don’t card them to verify, they just have to look that age. When it comes to unpaid dates, I still prefer that same bracket but I have to be more flexible, and go more for personality than for age. Fortunately for me, in Hong Kong I very frequently find 20-somethings to date for free. Not because I am irresistible, oh no, rather because many Asian twinks are into Western daddies like me: my type is exactly what they crave. 

Edited January 28 by liubit

[liubit]

2 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

I wish there was a poll option, where you could state your age range and preferred provider ranges.

I seem to remember that such a poll was conducted here not too long ago. 

[BuffaloKyle]

I've become more selective when it comes to hiring. I feel for me it's from all the sexual encounters I've had that I know exactly what I'm looking for sexually. So someone has to check off all the boxes otherwise it's not worth my money. For casual hookups I'm more open though.

[BSR]

Less selective, but because of circumstance, not any change in mentality.  I used to be attracted only to men 30+ with at least some body hair (the more the better, stopping short of Sasquatch).  I could no more be sexually attracted to a smooth guy than to a woman, which is zero.  But good luck finding that type in Manila.  Out of 300+ RentMen listings, I think the oldest working guy is 32 with the vast majority 25 or under.  Fur? In Asia??  LOL, good luck with that.

The first guy I hired here was 30 but with almost no body hair, just a sparse bit in his armpits, groin, and calves — the rest of him smooth as silk (no shaving, just DNA).  OMG, his skin felt amazing!  Before starting to rim him, I hesitated, might have even grimaced slightly, because he doesn’t have  a single follicle back there and smooth bare holes kinda gross me out (makes me think the guy is prepubescent).  But as soon as I got going, holy sh!t, I dove in like Jacques Cousteau.  The second and third guys I hired were smooth and young, 27 and (eek!) 21.  Whaddya know, I got over my age hangup just as quick.

I have a date scheduled with the daddy (yes, he advertises as a daddy at the ripe old age of 32) tomorrow.  He has even less body hair than the 30yo.  Goody gumdrop, I can’t wait!

[+ SirBillybob]

No, the reverse. He’s all over me like a heat rash for the first part with a broad range of choreography, followed by greater specificity for the final part. 

[Proximusss]

Definitely more selective. It’s not just about looks for me, either. I have to vibe with their personality as well. I don’t like leaving things to chance, so I tend to stick to the same provider exclusively for a long period of time. 

[jmichaeliii]

18 minutes ago, Proximusss said:

Definitely more selective. It’s not just about looks for me, either. I have to vibe with their personality as well. I don’t like leaving things to chance, so I tend to stick to the same provider exclusively for a long period of time. 

Same here with the same providers.  When you book over and over with someone, I have found they make sure you want to continue.

[+ Pensant]

I love my three regulars, only one of whom advertises. One I’ve seen for 11 years just turned 37, but looks 27 (really). The other is 26. Generally my range is in the twink/twunk domain. I recently have been attracted to more slender and femme providers. I have ever-evolving tastes, I suppose!

That said, I sorely miss the hotties from the old CL and Rentboy. The “golden era”.

Edited Wednesday at 11:23 PM by Pensant

[+ PhileasFogg]

10 hours ago, liubit said:

My preferred age bracket for providers has always been 18-30, and that is what I hire. Of course, I don’t card them to verify, they just have to look that age. When it comes to unpaid dates, I still prefer that same bracket but I have to be more flexible, and go more for personality than for age. Fortunately for me, in Hong Kong I very frequently find 20-somethings to date for free. Not because I am irresistible, oh no, rather because many Asian twinks are into Western daddies like me: my type is exactly what they crave. 

I’m shocked at how much demand there is for my profile on hookup apps.  In addition to certain anatomical characteristics, my communication is polite, articulate, respectful - so young professionals respond well and float to the top

[jackcali]

I'm still attracted to the same types as I was 15-20 years ago when I started hiring.  However, back then hiring (in NYC) was $200 an hour or less and now it's closer to $400 an hour.  After inflation, that may be the same amount of money, but back then I had a job and was at my peak earnings money so it was easy to take a risk on an interesting  provider who didn't quite fit the profile or come recommended.  Now that I'm retired and living on savings, I'm much more cautious about spending on a provider without good reviews or who varies from my preferred type(s).  In terms of taste, though, I'm hiring the current crop of the guys I always hired.  

[+ Charlie]

When I came out at 17, the only guys that were easily available to me were older men, so the desired partner was usually in the 25-45 age range, which was desirable because they were experienced and I wasn't. (They also had private places to do things, and I didn't). As I aged, I was more likely to prefer men my own age--I was never attracted to twinks anyway, even when they started to be interested in me. When I settled down with a partner at 25, he was 33. Ours was not an exclusive relationship--we both had sex with other men, from time to time, and they were usually in our own age range. Neither of us had a specific physical type--we were more interested in personalities. (That doesn't mean we didn't care what the guy looked like, only that he didn't have to exhibit specific physical attributes like a certain height, hair pattern or cock size, etc.) Once I reached middle age and started hiring, I was likely to hire certain physical types more regularly than others, and over the years the age spread between the provider and myself steadily increased--after all, there aren't a lot of over-60 providers (or they don't admit it). What I felt like doing sexually and how much I wanted to spend became the deciding factors in my selectivity. After 70, I pretty much lost interest in sex, except as a spectator sport.