Addiction

[Aaron 90]

Anyone ever become addicted or close to it with hiring? 

I may have to watch myself 😅

[jmichaeliii]

12 minutes ago, Aaron 90 said:

Anyone ever become addicted or close to it with hiring? 

I may have to watch myself 😅

Yep, I struggle with it too!

[jeezifonly]

Always a good idea to be mindful of quantity when consuming irresistible and decadent delights of all sorts. 

[Nightowl]

I wouldn’t say I’m addicted but about two days after a session I start thinking about scheduling the next one…

[Aaron 90]

10 minutes ago, Nightowl said:

I wouldn’t say I’m addicted but about two days after a session I start thinking about scheduling the next one…

Or me during the current session 😆

[soloyo215]

14 hours ago, Aaron 90 said:

Anyone ever become addicted or close to it with hiring? 

I may have to watch myself 😅

I don't think "addiction" is the correct word to describe the times when I feel I can't get enough. In my case it's more like a binge of sort that stops at some point. After my initial first binge I've never been so actively hiring. I do hire but within reason and within my resources.

I've never allowed hiring or providers interfere with my life, my family, my work or any other aspect of my life. I understand that one of the aspects of addiction is that it takes over people's lives, and fortunately, that's never been the case with me. My position is that for as long as it doesn't interfere with anything in my life, it's not an addiction, nor is it a concern of any kind.

In fact, self-care was the original reason why I started hiring.

Edited Wednesday at 01:48 PM by soloyo215

[+ Pensant]

I’ve tapered off after a number of years, but I still like to binge occasionally. Fortunately I have three regulars who provide me with plenty of erotic satisfaction.

[BeHappy]

2 hours ago, Pensant said:

I’ve tapered off after a number of years, but I still like to binge occasionally. Fortunately I have three regulars who provide me with plenty of erotic satisfaction.

I am in that camp as well!  I still like to go on binges though!  So fun to meet new fellas and the excitement of the first meet up!  
It’s not an addiction but more of an adventure!  

Edited Wednesday at 04:05 PM by BeHappy
Grammar

[jeffla]

I’m not addicted. I usually wait at least 15 minutes into my current session before I start scheduling the next one for later that morning.

[Stasoxxx69]

I understand the compulsive feeling to hire, but at least with straight up escorts, I have always found those experiences to not live up to what's in my head going into them. If you are trying to stop, my best advice is to to think it through...how are you feeling leading up to the idea to hire? how are you going to feel after you hire? when do you tend to want to hire? Is there a patter there? If yes, another thing to do is replace the behavior with something else, so if Friday nights tend to be triggering for you and lead to hiring, find something else to do that isn't congruent with hiring. I think the struggle for me is the need to hire for massage. Over the years I have felt less sexual about massages, though I still partake in sexual interactions when they seem right, but mostly it's because we're all human beings and we need to be touched. If I'm in a dry spell and not hooking up or dating someone, it can be weeks without any real intimate human contact, this isn't healthy either. 

[Mark_fl]

I find that when I have a booking I'm looking forward to in the future, I have little inclination to book another, even it the booking is a month or more away. 

Especially if the booking is with my favorite provider. Maybe it's my monogamous nature. Maybe it's that anything less than that expectation would be a disappointment. 

[Aaron 90]

2 hours ago, Stasoxxx69 said:

I understand the compulsive feeling to hire, but at least with straight up escorts, I have always found those experiences to not live up to what's in my head going into them. If you are trying to stop, my best advice is to to think it through...how are you feeling leading up to the idea to hire? how are you going to feel after you hire? when do you tend to want to hire? Is there a patter there? If yes, another thing to do is replace the behavior with something else, so if Friday nights tend to be triggering for you and lead to hiring, find something else to do that isn't congruent with hiring. I think the struggle for me is the need to hire for massage. Over the years I have felt less sexual about massages, though I still partake in sexual interactions when they seem right, but mostly it's because we're all human beings and we need to be touched. If I'm in a dry spell and not hooking up or dating someone, it can be weeks without any real intimate human contact, this isn't healthy either. 

Very well said. Totally agree. Finding a healthy balance is the key.

[+ DrownedBoy]

"Binge" to me means hiring more than one person a week.

I have a line item in my budget specifically for this hobby. Nothing in the line item, no hiring. One area where my relationship with money helps.

[jeffla]

7 hours ago, BeHappy said:

I am in that camp as well!  I still like to go on binges though!  So fun to meet new fellas and the excitement of the first meet up!  
It’s not an addiction but more of an adventure!  

I love your attitude. I feel the same. The excitement of the first meet-up is the best, even though I'll see favorites many times. Binge to me is maybe 3x in a week on occasion.

[Pd1_jap]

It's a real adrenaline rush, having the sole attention of a really hot guy. If the provider is good at what they do then it's even more intoxicating. IMHO it can definitely be an addiction. I know I have spent more than I like to admit on this hobby. However it's nothing like hardcore drugs that warp the mind into doing things like stealing and neglecting your hygiene. I'd say it's an addiction on the same level as fine dining and shopping. 

Edited Thursday at 01:11 AM by Pd1_jap
Typo

[Nightowl]

1 hour ago, Pd1_jap said:

However it's nothing like hardcore drugs that warp the mind into doing things like stealing and neglecting your hygiene. I'd say it's an addiction on the same level as fine dining and shopping. 

However, unlike shopping and fine dining, this hobby can carry risks.  For guys on the DL or in relationships that are not open, those risks could be devastating.

[Jay17403]

If I am traveling for work in a location that has a decent number of escorts I can definitely go a little crazy. I figure all is good as long as I can afford it and I am enjoying myself.

[Mark_fl]

19 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

I'd say it's an addiction on the same level as fine dining and shopping. 

Technically it IS fine dining and shopping. 😉

[Pd1_jap]

10 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Technically it IS fine dining and shopping. 😉

[+ purplekow]

The 4 C sof Addiction.    Craving.     Compulsion.   Control loss.  Consequent negative effects.

So.  Craving.  Almost every minute since I hit puberty.

Compulsion.   I do not hire on compulsion but there are times I feel compelled to hire.

Control loss.   That is my ultimate goal.  First to be totally in control and then totally lose control.  But I have gone months without hiring.  

Consequent negative effects.  Bank statements have not turned negative and I have not had physical or mental negative effects.

My end result, is that I am not addicted but there are times it may feel as though I am.  

                

[Luv2play]

19 hours ago, Nightowl said:

However, unlike shopping and fine dining, this hobby can carry risks.  For guys on the DL or in relationships that are not open, those risks could be devastating.

There are risks to addiction to shopping or fine dining as well. Shopaholics can ruin themselves financially and too much rich food can damage your health.  

[Nightowl]

1 hour ago, Luv2play said:

There are risks to addiction to shopping or fine dining as well. Shopaholics can ruin themselves financially and too much rich food can damage your health.  

True

[longislandjohn]

I get it.  After my very first session, I'm planning on hiring him again and a different guy on a different day.  It will get expensive, but worth it.

[+ purplekow]

15 hours ago, longislandjohn said:

I get it.  After my very first session, I'm planning on hiring him again and a different guy on a different day.  It will get expensive, but worth it.

Lots of guys on Long Island head into the city but there are a few guys out there that put the long into Long Island and they put it into anything you want.  

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 1/21/2026 at 8:19 PM, Nightowl said:

However, unlike shopping and fine dining, this hobby can carry risks.  For guys on the DL or in relationships that are not open, those risks could be devastating.

These type of guys have a much bigger psychological problem than just "addiction".