Advice about a regular provider

[j r]

Hi guys. So there’s one provider I see pretty regularly who really matches what I need physically and emotionally when we meet up. I always tip generously and am straightforward in our dealings so I don’t waste his time or make extra demands on him. 
 

We don’t live in the same city but he is visiting near where I am to see family for the holidays. He let me know he’d be in town and we booked about a week or 10 days in advance for a time that he set. I offered to pay his hotel room for the night as an extra holiday thank you and a cost I would normally cover anyway when we are together. 
 

I had to drive about an hour to meet him. On my way, he wrote to say he was tied up with family and would need another 30 minutes and did I want to book for the next night instead. Told him I was already on my way, but that if it didn’t work out, I’d understand. I can’t meet him the other nights he is in town, as I already made plans to be away from home tonight. 
 

Asking for a little perspective to understand how annoyed I should be. All in, I’m on the hook for a good chunk of change to cover our time and his hotel, which was my offer and which I genuinely meant as a way to help him out. But I realize I was maybe expecting a little special treatment above and beyond our normal routine in terms of some extra time or lack of wrapping up exactly after 90 minutes. 
 

Am I wrong to be slightly irritated that we may have to watch the clock as normal, as I have to get back on the road to get home after? To be clear, this is not a situation of me thinking there is anything more between us than an agreed-upon exchange. My question isn’t about romance but whether he is taking advantage in some way or if I am being unreasonable in expecting some kind of gratitude for shelling out an extra couple of hundred bucks to pay for his room on top of his regular fee plus a tip. 
 

Curious for outside perspective and totally understand I may be the one being unfair in this scenario. Thanks for any constructive thoughts. 

[mtaabq]

Dude … here’s what I’m thinking. Your feelings are your feelings. I think anyone would be annoyed. If I read correctly you said he was visiting his family which is not too far from your location. Family can add an extra layer of complexity. He’s going to be 30 mins late, which, due to your travel situation, would shave 30 mins off your scheduled session. Unfortunately, you didn’t leave a lot of room for error. In my 61 years it has been my experience that if you don’t leave room for error, that is a set up for disappointment. I’d say enjoy the shortened session, get what’s yours, wish him a happy new year, then head home. Yeah, the room cost extra so chalk it up to an expensive lesson learned. Trite but true - no good deed goes unpunished. I’ve had a similar situation - more than once. (I am a slow learner.) Shake it off and move on. And if I have misunderstood the scenario, please correct me. Good night. 

[jmichaeliii]

6 minutes ago, j r said:

Hi guys. So there’s one provider I see pretty regularly who really matches what I need physically and emotionally when we meet up. I always tip generously and am straightforward in our dealings so I don’t waste his time or make extra demands on him. 
 

We don’t live in the same city but he is visiting near where I am to see family for the holidays. He let me know he’d be in town and we booked about a week or 10 days in advance for a time that he set. I offered to pay his hotel room for the night as an extra holiday thank you and a cost I would normally cover anyway when we are together. 
 

I had to drive about an hour to meet him. On my way, he wrote to say he was tied up with family and would need another 30 minutes and did I want to book for the next night instead. Told him I was already on my way, but that if it didn’t work out, I’d understand. I can’t meet him the other nights he is in town, as I already made plans to be away from home tonight. 
 

Asking for a little perspective to understand how annoyed I should be. All in, I’m on the hook for a good chunk of change to cover our time and his hotel, which was my offer and which I genuinely meant as a way to help him out. But I realize I was maybe expecting a little special treatment above and beyond our normal routine in terms of some extra time or lack of wrapping up exactly after 90 minutes. 
 

Am I wrong to be slightly irritated that we may have to watch the clock as normal, as I have to get back on the road to get home after? To be clear, this is not a situation of me thinking there is anything more between us than an agreed-upon exchange. My question isn’t about romance but whether he is taking advantage in some way or if I am being unreasonable in expecting some kind of gratitude for shelling out an extra couple of hundred bucks to pay for his room on top of his regular fee plus a tip. 
 

Curious for outside perspective and totally understand I may be the one being unfair in this scenario. Thanks for any constructive thoughts. 

Did you pay for his time in advance?  I ask because why not reduce the fee to time spent?

The whole situation is less than ideal and maybe you just try and work things out for something down the road.  I have a great regular that I know has had some family issues and he has bounced my times around a bit lately.  But he has told me what is going on so I work with him because overall he's been really good to me.

[+ purplekow]

I have several regulars who are never on time.  However, they are traveling and as long as they put forward an effort when we are together, I am fine with the delay.  I have come to expect it and plan accordingly.  AS they are coming to my home. I always have other things I can do while waiting.  I have one regular who cancels at the last minute more than half the time but more than makes up for it the other half.  I just have back up plans for any time I have an appointment with him and I long ago stopped getting upset about it.  Yes I am disappointed when it happens, but I also know that it is like being edged, eventually the frustration I feel now will result in a bigger explosion of joy later on.   

In this case,  pay for the time you spend together and enjoy that.  Disappointment can be washed away with a great orgasm.  If you have already paid him, on the way out, I would mention that the session was great but you are disappointed that it was less time than you had originally planned and any lost time from your time together makes the difference between a memorable session and one, like today's, merely great.  Big kiss on the way out and perhaps something like:  See what you missed out on.  

Edited Sunday at 02:05 AM by purplekow

[+ azdr0710]

I'm not quite clear....

was this tonight?....or last night?.........

have you already had the hotel meet and now you're just asking about your thoughts?......

Edited Sunday at 02:11 AM by azdr0710

[Nue2thegame]

54 minutes ago, purplekow said:

I have several regulars who are never on time.  However, they are traveling and as long as they put forward an effort when we are together, I am fine with the delay.  I have come to expect it and plan accordingly.  AS they are coming to my home. I always have other things I can do while waiting.  I have one regular who cancels at the last minute more than half the time but more than makes up for it the other half.  I just have back up plans for any time I have an appointment with him and I long ago stopped getting upset about it.  Yes I am disappointed when it happens, but I also know that it is like being edged, eventually the frustration I feel now will result in a bigger explosion of joy later on.   

In this case,  pay for the time you spend together and enjoy that.  Disappointment can be washed away with a great orgasm.  If you have already paid him, on the way out, I would mention that the session was great but you are disappointed that it was less time than you had originally planned and any lost time from your time together makes the difference between a memorable session and one, like today's, merely great.  Big kiss on the way out and perhaps something like:  See what you missed out on.  

You certainly have a more mature approach than many of us. I rarely host, so delays and cancellations are more problematic for me. That said, I have seen some providers that aren’t great time managers (sometimes that works to my advantage), are chronically late but provide over the top experiences. We have an understanding and I’m happy to roll with the flow with them. Others aren’t worth the time and aggravation and I haven’t followed up with them. In the end, it’s a judgement call that comes from experience, some good ones and some bad ones. In the OPs case, if he’s a regular, contrite about this episode, sincere about making an earnest effort in the future, and, if I really valued his company, I would probably cut him some slack. Failing any one of those conditions, I would move on. 

[MarkBottom2025]

It’s always better to be clear with escorts on your expectations.  If paying for the hotel should get you some additional time then ask for that upfront.  If it’s you wanting to be nice and hoping it gets u additional time, then do not be disappointed if u don’t.  

[Braziliancutee]

U are totally right to expect more from him. When the client is my regular and he treat me well like how u are doing with him. I never would do that.i would give my best to be there on time.

To be honest is very hard to have clients like you and he need to be more respectful with you and your time. I just had a horrible experience with a client that I trusted. And I can say I wish more clients like you.

just be honest with him how you feel. And see what he will say. A good communication is the key. And money is not all, for me this is not just a “work” he need to have more empathy with you.

Edited Sunday at 05:00 AM by Braziliancutee

[Boaxxx]

Was he just going to be 30 minutes late or was he shorting your 90 minute session to 60 or both. If he was simply going to be late then I would sit back and relax in the hotel room for 30 minutes. If he was shorting the time and 60 minutes was not enough for what you wanted then I would simply have said that we will need to reschedule for the next time you are in town. As far as the room goes if you could not cancel them I guess you just have to eat that cost. Whatever the scenario I think I would have been annoyed with the situation but understanding of him, especially if the 60 minutes was not adequate for you. Sh*t happens and it's not always because someone is a sh*try person. Maybe he will provide you with some complementary time next session.

[SecretProvider]

4 hours ago, j r said:

Asking for a little perspective to understand how annoyed I should be. ....... But I realize I was maybe expecting a little special treatment above and beyond our normal routine in terms of some extra time or lack of wrapping up exactly after 90 minutes. 

You gave a gift with expectations, which is never a good thing to do. 

 

4 hours ago, j r said:

On my way, he wrote to say he was tied up with family and would need another 30 minutes and did I want to book for the next night instead.

 He is not out clubbing and partying. 30 min late when he was WITH FAMLY AT CHRISTMAS is not a big deal.

 

 

[+ PhileasFogg]

A lot has been said here.  On either side, families are complications to planning. Some grace is warranted.  In the end, it’s more relevant how either party responds to the situation and how that might affect future encounters 

[BeHappy]

My father always said allow time to fix a flat tire on your way to work 😂!

Things pop up!  Don’t overthink the situation!

 You can always hire another chap while you are waiting!  I have done that and it was quite fun!

 

[+ Pensant]

I have a regular in Seattle who pulled his ad over a year ago. I see him at least once a month when I’m at my place up here. Once we booked on his birthday and I asked him if was sure he wanted to meet, since he was turning 25 and was being feted by his friends. He assured me that he could make our 800 pm two-hour session. Well, he got caught up with his friends and very sorrowfully texted me that he wouldn’t make it. I wasn’t that upset, since I was able to book another provider whom I’d greatly enjoyed before. I just don’t get that upset about the very occasional no-show. I figure I just saved a little bundle!

Alexis is the back-up I mentioned above. He’s a hottie if you’re into a more femme provider occasionally. I bought him a pair of thigh high dominatrix boots to go with his lace collection. 

Alexis_seex - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in Seattle, WA | RentMen

RENTMEN.EU

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Pornstar Performer & Rentboy in Seattle, WA - Alexis_seex: Alexis

 

[+ Pensant]

On 12/27/2025 at 5:10 PM, j r said:

I always tip generously

Wondering what percentage of his fee you provide as a tip?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 12/28/2025 at 12:48 AM, SecretProvider said:

He is not out clubbing and partying. 30 min late when he was WITH FAMLY AT CHRISTMAS is not a big deal.

If a client arrived 30 minutes late to your appointment, would you forgo charging him for that time because he was with his family for Christmas? 

[BeHappy]

1 hour ago, Pensant said:

I have a regular in Seattle who pulled his ad over a year ago. I see him at least once a month when I’m at my place up here. Once we booked on his birthday and I asked him if was sure he wanted to meet, since he was turning 25 and was being feted by his friends. He assured me that he could make our 800 pm two-hour session. Well, he got caught up with his friends and very sorrowfully texted me that he wouldn’t make it. I wasn’t that upset, since I was able to book another provider whom I’d greatly enjoyed before. I just don’t get that upset about the very occasional no-show. I figure I just saved a little bundle!

Alexis is the back-up I mentioned above. He’s a hottie if you’re into a more femme provider occasionally. I bought him a pair of thigh high dominatrix boots to go with his lace collection. 

Alexis_seex - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in Seattle, WA | RentMen

RENTMEN.EU

---

Pornstar Performer & Rentboy in Seattle, WA - Alexis_seex: Alexis

 

Yes indeed!  It happens!  Just move on!  
Some clients get a touch of the “Love Bug”!  

[j r]

5 hours ago, Pensant said:

Wondering what percentage of his fee you provide as a tip?

generally tip about 25% plus I offered to pay for the hotel night on top of that

[aiseeya]

Unless I misread your situation (and noting there is no other alternative timing feasible) I prolly would have just stay and enjoy the 60mins session. Room is booked for the night so thats a fixed cost nonetheless. I will pay his rate for 60mins + (depending on service rendered) tips. Seems to me that scenario actually cost less financially. Something is often better than nothing.

[SecretProvider]

10 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

If a client arrived 30 minutes late to your appointment, would you forgo charging him for that time because he was with his family for Christmas? 

no. I wouldn't cut the time short either. the time starts when the client arrives. 

 

 

[savantsav]

To me, he communicated with you proactively which is what is to be expected of a professional, plenty of folks just flake and ghost.  In this case I would've done the 60m and not tip but would still book for some other times.

Edited 3 hours ago by savantsav