*Deposit, nudes, and sexting

[DMonDude]

This is personally something i don't really care about as much as others here do. I've been asked for deposits before and it's never once been a problem, I'm aware I'm the outlier there compared to others here who have obviously been burned by providers asking for deposits. If the providers profile seems fairly legit and the deposit is low enough i've had no issue paying it. I've never had a provider i paid a deposit to not show up or give a lackluster performance after. There are plenty of other context clues to take into account that can let you know if paying the deposit is going to result in you getting scammed/no showed or not. Same stuff many here have suggested in other threads about how to gauge provider quality/legitness. That's just been my experience though.

[BaronArtz]

No. Deposits. Ever.

[LaSanta]

And what about the times providers get scammed by "clients" that don't actually exist? This is the reason why escorts often ask for deposits. I had a friend who was sent to a location in the middle of a highway in purpose by one of those characters claiming they were clients. 

[LaSanta]

So escorts that have to travel long distances for a client can't have a deposit neither to ensure they will actually meet with someone? I am so confused right now. 

Would you provide an Uber at least? 

Edited 10 hours ago by LaSanta

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

4 minutes ago, LaSanta said:

And what about the times providers get scammed by "clients" that don't actually exist? 

That's their problem. NOT OURS!
It is part of the cost of doing business in their chosen profession. If they can't take the heat.......
Why would anyone send a deposit up front or pay for an UBER for a provider in a town where there are others offering the same or similar services without those demands?

BTC
🤡

[LaSanta]

31 minutes ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

That's their problem. NOT OURS!
It is part of the cost of doing business in their chosen profession. If they can't take the heat.......
Why would anyone send a deposit up front or pay for an UBER for a provider in a town where there are others offering the same or similar services without those demands?

BTC
🤡

And what about those providers that have to travel to another city to meet with people they never met before? Do you realize there are other potential clients willing to make the deposit to ensure they aren't playing games with the escort? Providers are entitled to impose their conditions the same way clients have the entitlement to move on if they can't take the heat lol. My job my conditions. 

[LaSanta]

My friend once traveled 5 hours for an a client and when he arrived to the destiny, the asshole blocked him. Expenses and time wasted for my poor friend. Rentmen.com didn't do shit when he reported. 

Edited 11 hours ago by LaSanta

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

3 hours ago, LaSanta said:

How many reviews it takes for a provider to ask for deposits?

When a person has so many clients that he is ready to turn many away, then he can start asking for deposits.  The deposit requirement will assist in turning away potential customers. 

4 minutes ago, LaSanta said:

My job my conditions

Remember, this line of work doesn't offer unemployment benefits.  So stipulate your conditions carefully.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, LaSanta said:

I had a friend who was sent to a location in the middle of a highway in purpose by one of those characters claiming they were clients. 

It's so sad the younger generation can't read maps.  Given today's ease at seeing the street view on maps, why would someone not look at the building of the address their given before they depart from home?!  If a young person lost his phone today, he wouldn't be able to find his way home.  I'm surprised how many New Yorkers can't even navigate the subway without their phones telling them exactly which trains to take.

[JayCeeKy]

I refuse to pay a deposit.  In fact, I'd even extend the time frame: I will not pay for services UNTIL they have been rendered - I learned that lesson in ATL last year when I foolishly paid as soon as the  escort arrived - he demanded the fee upfront and, as soon as he pocketed it, out the door he goes, uttering "F*g" as a parting gift and as a way to justify his thievery - i.e. f*gs deserve to be ripped off.  The first clue should have been him wearing a balaclava in his online face photo - AND when he arrived at my hotel room.

[+ azdr0710]

@LaSanta   you've been around the forum for nine years and maybe much more......the deposit quandary has been discussed many times.......each client and each provider handles it in their own way, often after much trial and error......the client and the provider will come to a 'meeting of the minds' - or not........there is no answer for your "how many reviews....." question

[LaSanta]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

It's so sad the younger generation can't read maps.  Given today's ease at seeing the street view on maps, why would someone not look at the building of the address their given before they depart from home?!  If a young person lost his phone today, he wouldn't be able to find his way home.  I'm surprised how many New Yorkers can't even navigate the subway without their phones telling them exactly which trains to take.

Someone ubered him to a location in the middle of a highway. He didn't even ask for a deposit. 

Edited 10 hours ago by LaSanta

[LaSanta]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Remember, this line of work doesn't offer unemployment benefits.  So stipulate your conditions carefully.

 This is only valid for providers that have one source of income and basically have no choice. 

[Mark_fl]

I wouldn't pay an Uber for a plumber or any other service job that comes to me to work,  and I wouldn't pay a deposit for the same reason. Show up, get paid.

That said, If I was requesting someone fly in, it would be very reasonable to do so. HOWEVER, if this wasn't a regular, I would insist on purchasing the ticket (likely refundable) myself, which would obviously require a level of trust having to know the real name, which is unlikely to happen.

Just encountered too many flakes and heard stories of others to lay out cash on trust. 

I also fully understand why a provider would insist on a deposit, but personally I'm not that desperate to hire. 

[Mark_fl]

36 minutes ago, LaSanta said:

 This is only valid for providers that have one source of income and basically have no choice. 

Well I would imagine they usually don't pay much income tax either so it should even out. 😉

[+ JamesB]

[mike carey]

16 minutes ago, JamesB said:

Is that all?

[jeezifonly]

They can ask for a deposit the moment they look in the mirror and think they look cute enough to be paid for being cute enough. 

Clientele will decide when the ask will be answered with remuneration. 

[DMonDude]

4 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

They can ask for a deposit the moment they look in the mirror and think they look cute enough to be paid for being cute enough. 

Clientele will decide when the ask will be answered with remuneration. 

There's a grander issue of bad clients who have given providers bad experiences. Leading them to do things like ask the client for photos or to ask for a deposit as some kind of guarantee the client is legit. And for clients who are good clients this is seen as some affront to their goal of being provided service by the provider. Which leads to many of you having these pithy catty comments about providers because of a lack of empathy for providers. As evidenced by others here saying they should suck it up and deal with because it's part of the job (which isn't true and isn't inherently how it has to be).

And conversely there are providers who have conned or scammed clients, by running with deposit money or given bad performance after receiving deposit or upfront pay, which leads to clients being highly skeptical of upfront asks by the good providers.

The bad eggs on both sides have ruined it for the good eggs on both sides, and there's no solution to it other than everyone just operating as they please individually. As has also been said here and elsewhere.

But i do think it's interesting how the assumed good clients here are still so quick to have all these catty comments while providers are still expected to speak of clients as politely as possible even in criticism or explaining their own instances of being wronged by clients.

[+ JamesB]

35 minutes ago, mike carey said:

Is that all?

I’m only counting the ones  that offer some entertainment value. For instance, on this one, the OP marks one of his own posts as the solution to his own thread. LOL!

[jeffla]

6 hours ago, ncc1701d said:

only for ones i've hired several times and trust, and then for longer hires so carrying less cash around

If you've hired them several times and trust them, shouldn't they trust you too? 

I'd be bummed if someone I have seen many times and been kind to, suddenly wanted a deposit; I'd actually be offended. 

[mike carey]

Gentlemen, a new thread on deposits was opened seven or eight hours ago and ran for over a page fairly quickly. Predictably it rehearsed many of the same opinions as have been expressed on this topic over the years.

@56harrisond posted a useful link to some of the earlier threads. One, in 2023, ran for over six pages in a little over a month before pizza was served. Another ran during December last year and is still active, and we've now combined it with today's thread. Despite it's wider title, still reflected here, it focussed almost entirely on the issue of deposits, something it shared with the new thread.

A reminder that, as indicated by the asterisk in the title, we issued a warning in December to stay on topic. That warning continues to apply to the now-combined thread.

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, DMonDude said:

But i do think it's interesting how the assumed good clients here are still so quick to have all these catty comments while providers are still expected to speak of clients as politely as possible even in criticism or explaining their own instances of being wronged by clients.

I think it's a double-edged sword. In 99% of businesses, the customer is treated like they are the valuable commodity. Business preach customer satisfaction,  customer retention, "the customer is always right", rewards programs, promotions,  etc.

And I thought this was a business arrangement? Or at least that's what we're told by providers.

So in what other businesses do the establishments critique their customers? Difference being a restaurant or Walmart can call the police or dispute a charge back. But it shouldn't be surprising that the customers expect to be treated like valued customers until proven otherwise.

[DMonDude]

23 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I think it's a double-edged sword. In 99% of businesses, the customer is treated like they are the valuable commodity. Business preach customer satisfaction,  customer retention, "the customer is always right", rewards programs, promotions,  etc.

And I thought this was a business arrangement? Or at least that's what we're told by providers.

So in what other businesses do the establishments critique their customers? Difference being a restaurant or Walmart can call the police or dispute a charge back. But it shouldn't be surprising that the customers expect to be treated like valued customers until proven otherwise.

I don't think comparisons to other businesses are really that apt in this particular topic. It's an unregulated/not legal profession (for most of us, i know not everyone here is American) that is unlike literally any other profession. There are no legal protections for either the client or the provider and legal protections are what set the expectations you refer to for other industries. So it's up to us as individuals to decide how to treat each other and many here choose catty-ness and apathy.

It's not surprising that customers want to be treated like valued customers and we overwhelmingly are, but I'm just saying the "until proven otherwise" bit has already happened to everyone including the providers and a lot of clients completely lack understanding or empathy for this. Some clients are coming at providers with the other expectation that htey already know you're "one of the good ones" and the provider doesn't have any way to actually know that about you. And many here's attitude is basically "tough shit, i don't care, you still owe me good service regardless".

By your own logic, sure don't pay the deposit or whatever, but don't be surprised when the provider then doesn't give you the assumption of being a good client because they have been burned by other clients who have no relation to you just the same as many clients have deposit/upfront pay horror stories. That again is the grander thing i'm getting at here. Clients are the ones going much farther in treating providers with a certain negativity based on the actions of a few than providers are here. Even so, the clients are here acting like you are owed this and that and that's weird because when providers voice their own grievances from the other perspective they're met with the catty-ness within this thread of how "oh wow you think you're so cute you get to ask for a deposit" over something that some providers do as a safety or vetting precaution, which is understandable, if one has empathy for the provider. It's just ugly attitude for no real reason that disproportionately comes from clients.

Edited 7 hours ago by DMonDude
clarity

[Mark_fl]

11 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

I don't think comparisons to other businesses are really that apt in this particular topic. It's an unregulated/not legal profession (for most of us, i know not everyone here is American) that is unlike literally any other profession. There are no legal protections for either the client or the provider and legal protections are what set the expectations you refer to for other industries. So it's up to us as individuals to decide how to treat each other and many here choose catty-ness and apathy.

It's not surprising that customers want to be treated like valued customers and we overwhelmingly are, but I'm just saying the "until proven otherwise" bit has already happened to everyone including the providers and a lot of clients completely lack understanding or empathy for this. Some clients are coming at providers with the other expectation that htey already know you're "one of the good ones" and the provider doesn't have any way to actually know that about you. And many here's attitude is basically "tough shit, i don't care, you still owe me good service regardless".

By your own logic, sure don't pay the deposit or whatever, but don't be surprised when the provider then doesn't give you the assumption of being a good client because they have been burned by other clients who have no relation to you just the same as many clients have deposit/upfront pay horror stories. That again is the grander thing i'm getting at here. Clients are the ones going much farther in treating providers with a certain negativity based on the actions of a few than providers are here. Even so, the clients are here acting like you are owed this and that and that's weird because when providers voice their own grievances from the other perspective they're met with the catty-ness within this thread of how "oh wow you think you're so cute you get to ask for a deposit" over something that some providers do as a safety or vetting precaution, which is understandable, if one has empathy for the provider. It's just ugly attitude for no real reason that disproportionately comes from clients.

I don't agree with the attitude given providers, but that wasn't my point. When I said we expected to be treated like valuable customers until proven otherwise,  I meant individually. You make it seem like we shouldn't expect that based on how OTHERS have treated you. That's the disconnect. I shouldn't have to pay a deposit because some asshole did what assholes do.