Toxic Providers

[LookingAround]

20 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

You wrote: 

This is essentially blaming the client for the provider being abusive. "Roughed up" refers to physical violence, not psychological distress. 

Just a moment...

WWW.COLLINSDICTIONARY.COM

Since you feel that hiring a "thug" means you should expect to get roughed up, I suggested a common, less racialized type that escorts advertise as, which, if followed to your conclusion, would suggest the client is looking to be sexually assaulted. This is all pretty basic analysis. 

My analysis speaks for itself, and your analysis speaks for your own characterization and we'll just leave it at that. 

[GentJ]

59 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

You wrote: 

This is essentially blaming the client for the provider being abusive. "Roughed up" refers to physical violence, not psychological distress. 

Just a moment...

WWW.COLLINSDICTIONARY.COM

Since you feel that hiring a "thug" means you should expect to get roughed up, I suggested a common, less racialized type that escorts advertise as, which, if followed to your conclusion, would suggest the client is looking to be sexually assaulted. This is all pretty basic analysis. 

I don't think anyone here thinks physical assault is okay for any reason.

I think there's a group of people on this thread saying this guy acted more-or-less as advertised, with only a small amount of 'reading between the lines' of what's in the ad. Easy to fix next time around!

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

On 11/2/2025 at 1:46 AM, ThrowawayAccount said:

I will never go to a bathhouse again. 

You should add to that, "I will never hire a self-described thug again."

BTC
🤡

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

So if I hire someone who advertises as a college guy, frat type do I deserve to get roofied and raped? 

There's an old saying "You can't rape the willing".  When I meet a cute college frat-type guy at a bar or swimming pool, I jokingly tell him up front, "There's no need to roofie me: I'm a sure thing." 😉 🎉 😈 

On 11/1/2025 at 3:20 PM, purplekow said:

Without knowing who suggested the bath house in the first place...

My first time at a bathhouse was suggested by a masseur I hired.  It was no spa, but I got my sensual massage nonetheless.  The masseur had his own room with a table. 

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is essentially blaming the client for the provider being abusive...

Rather, I see the client as playing the party of the victim every step of the way.

He didn't want to go to a bathhouse, yet he went. 

He didn't want to get undressed.

He didn't want to pay up front, yet he did. 

Act like a victim, and one will become a victim.

A better title for this thread would be:  What not to do as a Client.

Edited Tuesday at 05:59 PM by Vegas_Millennial

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, GentJ said:

there's a group of people on this thread saying this guy acted more-or-less as advertised, with only a small amount of 'reading between the lines' of what's in the ad. Easy to fix next time around!

I see a group of people who some managed to a) not believe the OP b) blame the OP for his bad experience and c) racialize the provider description of himself as a "thug" while ignoring all the violent fantasies some harbor that feature white people (Frats, Bros, etc.). It's quite the remarkable cognitive contraption. 

[GentJ]

37 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I see a group of people who some managed to a) not believe the OP b) blame the OP for his bad experience and c) racialize the provider description of himself as a "thug" while ignoring all the violent fantasies some harbor that feature white people (Frats, Bros, etc.). It's quite the remarkable cognitive contraption. 

I'm not sure exactly which part of the discussion you're talking about for part (A). Someone said OP left part of the story out? That's almost always true of any retelling of anything. As for (B), absolutely I think this was 100% avoidable by the client, if you wanna call that 'blame'. And that's because: (C) 'Thug' is a style/lifestyle that spans really all racial and ethnic groups. It's a lifestyle associated with homophobia and violence. Fantasies aside, 'Thug culture' really doesn't seem to me to be compatible with a beginner hiring. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 hours ago, GentJ said:

'Thug' is a style/lifestyle that spans really all racial and ethnic groups. It's a lifestyle associated with homophobia and violence. Fantasies aside, 'Thug culture' really doesn't seem to me to be compatible with a beginner hiring. 

Come on. We both know what “thug” means in this context. It’s a racialized term. If the client said he wanted a “dom” or “rope daddy”, no one would he blaming his provider’s description for his encounter being bad. 

[GentJ]

10 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Come on. We both know what “thug” means in this context. It’s a racialized term. If the client said he wanted a “dom” or “rope daddy”, no one would he blaming his provider’s description for his encounter being bad. 

That's not what it meant to ME in this context. Just speaking for myself, but I have a feeling most people in here feel the same. Dom and Rope Daddy are sex kink terms. Thug is not.

Edited Tuesday at 10:28 PM by GentJ

[LookingAround]

7 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Come on. We both know what “thug” means in this context. It’s a racialized term. If the client said he wanted a “dom” or “rope daddy”, no one would he blaming his provider’s description for his encounter being bad. 

Such gratuitous introduction of racial issues here. You take a lot of presumption as to how others feel and their attitudes about race. Please check your stereotyping at the door. Your assumptions don't mesh with mine. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

14 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

Such gratuitous introduction of racial issues here. You take a lot of presumption as to how others feel and their attitudes about race. Please check your stereotyping at the door. Your assumptions don't mesh with mine. 

I’m not presuming anything. I’m just stating facts. If you’re offended by them, ask yourself why. 

23 minutes ago, GentJ said:

Dom and Rope Daddy are sex kink terms. Thug is not.

Race play is a well known kink. Just as a desire for “frat bros” or “twinks” is. This provider is not the only MOC advertising himself as a racialized category. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Despite the effort of one person to make the topic of Toxic Providers about color, I stand by the group consensus that offers recommendations to not set oneself to be a vulnerable victim: 

1. Don't pay in advance, unless you've hired the gentlemen before. 

2.  If one wants "comfort", rent a hotel room bed not a bathhouse bench.

3.  Cash is king.  No record of transaction.  Communicate via various messenger apps that protect one's identity. 

4. Block anyone who begins threats.  Don't feed the troll.

These tips should work with hired gentlemen of all colors.

Edit: Kudos to the original poster for not mentioning the providers color in the original post.  Several recommendations were made how to handle the situation, prior to knowing what the escort looked like.  Those recommendations should still be valid.

Edited yesterday at 12:00 AM by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, LookingAround said:

  7 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

...So if I hire someone who advertises as a college frat guy, do I deserve to get ...raped? 

When I hire for a college rape fantasy experience, I message the provider in advance to let him know that he has my consent, even if I verbally say "no" or "slow down" to have his way with me.  The best providers are good at talking up what they want to do with me, so by action time I'm mentally turned on and ready for it.

Edit: This is true for men of various ethnicities I hire.  But I don't hire the "Toxic" ones... And I don't pay in advance.

Edited yesterday at 12:11 AM by Vegas_Millennial

[GentJ]

2 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Race play is a well known kink. Just as a desire for “frat bros” or “twinks” is. This provider is not the only MOC advertising himself as a racialized category. 

Anything CAN be a kink. Dom and rope-daddy are almost always used in a sexual context.

Are you saying frat bro is a racial category? 🤔 This is getting pretty weird.

[jeezifonly]

At the risk of returning to the topic... Quite an ordeal you had. Your trauma is real. And your body, finances, identity, and home are intact - so, now you have some time to heal, which ideally won't include any sexual partners until you feel you've addressed the trauma. 
If you can't host, and the provider can't host, consider the inquiry closed. Small market? Once every couple months, get yourself a hotel room in a big city to give you better options for hiring your type, in or out.

Only you can know what lessons to take away - both from the evening, and disclosure here. Best of luck.