Feeling ugly/unattractive when with a provider

[+ Pensant]

12 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

You never know with all the increasing surveillance, when law enforcement will decide to take someone down for "sex trafficking". 

This is why the growing number of Venezuelan ads give me pause.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

I rarely have trouble eating out and asking for substitutions to menu items. If it’s not an option, I can lump it if I really want the entree. I don’t know that that would make me leave a restaurant, though, if I were already seated. I would potentially decide not to hire outright if an escort seemed unwilling to accommodate some sort of special request. It really comes down to what the ask is and a whole host of things. Although the escorting-restaurant analogy is good. 

[Alex Hawk]

4 hours ago, mike carey said:

I had been about to object to the part about not rewriting menus, but I realised it was more nuanced than it had first appeared. Some of their menus are narrow and restricted, others are far broader, but each menu is a set of boundaries. Some boundaries can be pushed, others are set in granite. You may find a pizzeria that sells sushi, but don't count on it.

Exactly! You never know when the “chef” may be in an experimental mood, and the answer is always “no” unless you ask. But if you ask, and the answer is no, that doesn’t make it a bad restaurant.

And if the pizzeria Does sell sushi, is it likely to be the best sushi? Every time someone asks me to provide services outside of my strengths, I think about how I “could” do it - but that’s not the type of business I run, so I refer them instead to a highly-rated establishment specializing in whatever it is that they are hungry for.

[Alex Hawk]

24 minutes ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

I rarely have trouble eating out and asking for substitutions to menu items. If it’s not an option, I can lump it if I really want the entree. It really comes down to what the ask is and a whole host of things. Although the escorting-restaurant analogy is good. 

This sums it up well. It is absolutely within a patron’s right to request modifications, and for most the answer will come down to what the ask is AND potentially a whole host of things.

What it should never come down to, in my opinion, is the attractiveness of the client/patron. The provider bears the responsibilities of making and keeping  their place of business an attractive choice when someone is deciding where to give their business.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

1 hour ago, Alex Hawk said:

Every time someone asks me to provide services outside of my strengths, I think about how I “could” do it

I wish providers would just be direct and say no. Don’t give a sub-optimal service if you know you will. Likely because it’s out of your specialty or strengths you’re charging more too. So now the client is paying more something of lesser quality. Don’t do that. Just say you don’t provide what’s asking. If you know where to direct him for what he’s asking, great. But don’t take his money for something you already know isn’t going to be the best he can get from you.

[+ SirBillybob]

I like some menu offerings set in granita.

Edited August 21 by SirBillybob

[BoyGeorgeandMarilyn]

58 minutes ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

I wish providers would just be direct and say no. Don’t give a sub-optimal service if you know you will. Likely because it’s out of your specialty or strengths you’re charging more too. So now the client is paying more something of lesser quality. Don’t do that. Just say you don’t provide what’s asking. If you know where to direct him for what he’s asking, great. But don’t take his money for something you already know isn’t going to be the best he can get from you.

Come on! I do not see all the fuss about the fact "Providers find me unattractive" C'mon! They w..hes! They get paid for having sex with everyone! I do not see why They should be fussy about their clients!!

[+ SirBillybob]

14 minutes ago, BoyGeorgeandMarilyn said:

Come on! I do not see all the fuss about the fact "Providers find me unattractive" C'mon! They w..hes! They get paid for having sex with everyone! I do not see why They should be fussy about their clients!!

In fact, sometimes wishes that cum true.

[+ purplekow]

1 hour ago, SirBillybob said:

In fact, sometimes wishes that cum true.

I have known a few escorts who start with "I do not bottom".  They move on to: "I do not bottom for that price." and sometimes end with "Fuck me harder."   One can never be sure where friendly and polite requests may lead.  

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 hours ago, BoyGeorgeandMarilyn said:

Come on! I do not see all the fuss about the fact "Providers find me unattractive" C'mon! They w..hes! They get paid for having sex with everyone! I do not see why They should be fussy about their clients!!

There is a difference between true professional sex workers like @BenjaminNicholas or @Jamie21 and many young, attractive men who want to monetize their sex lives. The latter I avoid like the plague; the former are cut from a different cloth. 

[savantsav]

10 hours ago, Pensant said:

This is why the growing number of Venezuelan ads give me pause.

As a Venezuelan myself who has hired venezuelans I'll tell ya they're all now saying they're Colombian and laugh how all the "gringos don't know the difference"

[Nightowl]

4 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

I like some menu offerings set in granita.

That’s quite a load to cum from one…lamp.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

6 hours ago, purplekow said:

I have known a few escorts who start with "I do not bottom".  They move on to: "I do not bottom for that price." and sometimes end with "Fuck me harder."   One can never be sure where friendly and polite requests may lead.  

I call that opportunism. And it rubs me wrong. Although bottoming when you don’t typically bottom could be easier to pull off than topping when you don’t typically top. I’m just very against engaging something that’s not your strength for “the right price.” It feels like an Audi price paid for a Nissan performance. It might get the job done, but’s it’s robbery toward the customer. 

[ATLVersMan]

I have mixed thoughts on this. Like I find that if the one I’m going to hire can’t just go with the fantasy of it all after a discussion on what’s wanted it kinda kills the whole vibe. Granted. If I  hire somebody I try to do some good research. I’ve done more of a passionate kinda thing to seeking a very flipped dominate situation with more kinky aspects. I’ve had somebody be rude for me asking questions about what’s allowed vs not even though their rent men profile shows all these kinks. To be told no I don’t do that. It’s kinda differnt for all guys tho. I was chatting with this hotty on sniffies ( hot to me) and we got into the topic of kinks / taboos and escorts etc. he said that he enjoys finding somebody who will be a total flip to his normal S*x life. Though he finds alot of guys become rude. He’s 32 and said he feels like because he’s average but seeks a more intense session it’s usually a fail on getting a reply. I should probably tell him to join this site because I’ve been reading a lot. And will say I’ve felt I’ve been able to see some good advice  

[+ purplekow]

3 hours ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

I call that opportunism. And it rubs me wrong. Although bottoming when you don’t typically bottom could be easier to pull off than topping when you don’t typically top. I’m just very against engaging something that’s not your strength for “the right price.” It feels like an Audi price paid for a Nissan performance. It might get the job done, but’s it’s robbery toward the customer. 

I am not sure it is not their strength.  There is a lot more preparation that goes into bottoming as far as cleanliness.  Paying a premium price for a premium service is not opportunism. 

[+ Pensant]

4 hours ago, JonathanDietrele said:

Yall lets all send a dick pic to each other

Let’s please not!

[+ ApexNomad]

1 minute ago, Pensant said:

Let’s please not!

Darn, I was hoping one day we might Pensant. 

[BoyGeorgeandMarilyn]

18 hours ago, BoyGeorgeandMarilyn said:

Come on! I do not see all the fuss about the fact "Providers find me unattractive" C'mon! They w..hes! They get paid for having sex with everyone! I do not see why They should be fussy about their clients!!

In my youth, I have  been a part time escort.....Extra Cash was more than welcome but It was not a Must as my financial situation was not at his worst!  I have had fatties, old men, next-door guys!!!! But I was prepared to do that! I was neverthesless from time to time Quite pleasantly suprised ! It was overal not such a bad experience....I had to meet very often more interesting men than I met in Brussesls gay BARS .....I won't generalize but for me a bunch of pure idiots!

[Spikeguy]

So they were Brussels Louts?

[Tom C. Sinclair]

On 8/22/2025 at 4:14 AM, purplekow said:

Paying a premium price for a premium service is not opportunism. 

Agreed. But if someone doesn’t offer something because it’s out of their wheelhouse but will for an upcharge, I’m inclined to think you’re paying a premium price for something someone would rather not do, not a premium service. That’s my point. You’re paying more to compensate because it’s not what the guy wants to do, not that it’s premium. 

[Nightowl]

On 8/22/2025 at 4:33 AM, JonathanDietrele said:

Yall lets all send a dick pic to each other

It’s been suggested before but it never happens.  It would ruin the mystery about all the guys on the site if people actually saw what we looked like.

[+ purplekow]

2 hours ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

Agreed. But if someone doesn’t offer something because it’s out of their wheelhouse but will for an upcharge, I’m inclined to think you’re paying a premium price for something someone would rather not do, not a premium service. That’s my point. You’re paying more to compensate because it’s not what the guy wants to do, not that it’s premium. 

We look at this differently.  I do not think that an escort's preference is necessarily based on skill.  An escort may be a great bottom but prefer not to do it professionally as a rule because of the time involved, the risk involved or just insecurity about the skill of the tops he may encounter.  Asking for an off the usual menu with an escort, just as at In and Out Burger, does not mean the quality is not there, it may be that it the item is only for those in the know or in the case of the escort, the ones that he knows.  In any case, if you do not ask, you do not get.  

[Tom C. Sinclair]

The views can both be right. Life is not black and white. Not every escort behaves the same, nor every client. Some will charge more because they don’t want to do it. Some will charge more of the extra effort. Neither precludes the other.

[CuriousByNature]

On 8/22/2025 at 1:33 AM, JonathanDietrele said:

Yall lets all send a dick pic to each other

If you insist.  Here's two pics of mine... you'll notice the second one is more erect.

  

Edited August 25 by CuriousByNature

[Rudynate]

On 8/18/2025 at 12:26 AM, purplekow said:

The first time I met Vin Marco, we walked along the boardwalk at the Jersey shore. He was looking like Adonis and I was looking like me.  He was shirtless and in tight shorts.  At one point, I decided to take off my shirt and just walk with him and forget about it, as who was going to look at me anyway.  Afterward, he said he was impressed that I felt  comfortable and confident walking along the boardwalk.  He thought that was sexy. 

Now maybe he was just being nice, but that helped me to come to grips that it is not what other people think of me, it is what I think about myself.  So, DMonDude, just think positively about yourself and they rest will fall into place.  

Google Search

WWW.GOOGLE.COM

 

I had a personal trainer who did something similar with me.  He recommended that, as much as possble, I should walk through the streets of the city shirtless and drive around shirtless as well.