RM guy stole my deposit -- any recourse?

[redbottle]

He asked me for a deposit, which perhaps I stupidly sent via Paypal. We then set up a time for later that night. He said he'd be in touch. He wasn't, and seemed to have blocked me on Whatsapp. And now he seems to be in a different country.

Should I bother leaving a negative review? It seems pointless, and also I'm slightly afraid of him somehow publicizing my identity, since he technically knows my name via Paypal. Not that I'm anyone important. 

Thoughts?

[NYXboy]

this would be something you should contact PayPal about. 

[56harrisond]

 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do except warn others. I don't oppose making a reasonable deposit ($25-$50) to show I'm serious. In all the time I've been doing this, I've only had one guy screw me over. Posting who the guy who scammed you would be helpful to others. 

[redbottle]

5 hours ago, NYXboy said:

this would be something you should contact PayPal about. 

I did it as a "friends and family" transfer. Do you know what I would say to them? I could say he scammed me, but do I have to give them any details?

[maninsoma]

13 minutes ago, redbottle said:

I did it as a "friends and family" transfer. Do you know what I would say to them? I could say he scammed me, but do I have to give them any details?

A "friends and family" transfer of money is not protected by PayPal's fraud protection program.  Just accept that you made a mistake and lost whatever money you sent this guy.  You can notify PayPal that you got scammed, but I assume that someone who is using that platform to scam people like this will just create a different account if they get reported so I'm not sure it's worth the effort.  Also, do you want to be in a position of having to explain how a "friend or family member" stole money from you when it really was a stranger whom you were hoping to have sex with?  I wouldn't.  As to warning people here, that's helpful to others in the short term, but it's so easy for scammers to change identities online that it's not worth a lot in the long run.

[redbottle]

39 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do except warn others. I don't oppose making a reasonable deposit ($25-$50) to show I'm serious. In all the time I've been doing this, I've only had one guy screw me over. Posting who the guy who scammed you would be helpful to others. 

Yeah, I posted him here. 

[Heart It Deep]

Food for thought.  There are some of the VIP providers who due to their high demand ask for a significant deposit to make sure you are serious.  But those people tend to have positive reviews. 

[SirBillybob]

I think in PayPal account settings you can redact your name and your account pseudonym for receiving or sending. Since deposit is send function perhaps toggle that info off and arrange with the recipient a unique amount "footprint", for example if it’s $100 alert him you sent $101.02 and decide whether to restore the settings at a later date.

Edited July 8 by SirBillybob

[Oakman]

43 minutes ago, Heart It Deep said:

Food for thought.  There are some of the VIP providers who due to their high demand ask for a significant deposit to make sure you are serious.  But those people tend to have positive reviews. 

Agree. Only provide a deposit if you are trying to book an “all-star” provider who has a solid reputation. If you’re trying to book some random nobody and he asks for a deposit, he’s just trying to rip you off. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 7/8/2025 at 7:12 AM, redbottle said:

Yeah, I posted him here. 

I'd want an escort to have a head before I'd send a deposit...

[italianboyph]

You should never send a deposit, especially if it's someone not known, and when they ask via Pay Pal it's usually always a scam.  

[Gilfson]

9 minutes ago, italianboyph said:

You should never send a deposit, especially if it's someone not known, and when they ask via Pay Pal it's usually always a scam.  

I ask for deposits via PayPal if the client has flaked on me before. While I agree a lot of the time it’s a scam not always. I only ask for deposits if people have flaked on me as it tends to happen over and over and for my sanity won’t schedule with people like that unless they’ve made a deposit and are serious

[pubic_assistance]

On 7/8/2025 at 8:12 AM, redbottle said:

Yeah, I posted him here. 

Well....at least you were scammed by someone worth trying for. 😂

Lesson learned. Thinking with your dick always ends badly.

JUST SAY NO

[Archangel]

No. 

[Archangel]

4 hours ago, italianboyph said:

You should never send a deposit

Sufficient. 

[Archangel]

On 7/8/2025 at 2:16 PM, Heart It Deep said:

VIP providers

What classifies as VIP (Very Important Person) provider?

Some providers think they’re VIPs when they’re MSPs (Modestly Significant Person).

I know and believe some of the providers here are busy; but the number of escorts who clamor about not having enough to make ends mete suggests to me that more than not providers want you to think they’re busy to pressure you to book right now, immediately. 

[italianboyph]

4 hours ago, Gilfson said:

I ask for deposits via PayPal if the client has flaked on me before. While I agree a lot of the time it’s a scam not always. I only ask for deposits if people have flaked on me as it tends to happen over and over and for my sanity won’t schedule with people like that unless they’ve made a deposit and are serious

That’s understandable and trust me it happens to me all the time getting flaked on , especially if they’ve  ghosted.  I just think first meeting someone you’ve never met and asking for a deposit in this circumstance is just a big no. It’s usually the same formula too, ask for a deposit via PayPal. I think in any case if someone does do it via PayPal, make sure you do it Pay Pal Goods and Services.

[+ PhileasFogg]

I don’t think you have recourse nor do Ithink you should fear him coming after you unless you’re not “out.”   But even with that, he’d have to put a lot of effort into outting you.

posting on this forum is a start.  I don’t know if you have the equivalent of “MrNumber” in the UK, but I’ve used that for one hustler that got me here.

if you’d like, someone here who isn’t blocked by him may be willing to send him the link to your post referencing his deception  😉

 

On the bigger topic of deposits, I live in a wasteland.   I’m not opposed to advancing travel expenses if someone is going to travel hundreds of miles to see me.  And for the provider, I’d expect a good business man to want that.   My preference is to actually purchase the plane ticket myself so that,  if they ghost me, I can get my money refunded. I’ve had this happen before, but it’s a method that reduces no show risk on both sides. 

[+ nycman]

On 7/8/2025 at 12:22 AM, redbottle said:

He asked me for a deposit, which perhaps I stupidly sent via Paypal.

Remove the word "perhaps" from that sentence, and you’re on the right track.

Chalk it up to experience.
Learn from your mistakes.
Move on.

[redbottle]

22 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I'd want an escort to have a head before I'd send a deposit...

I asked for one and he sent me a pic -- who knows if it was really him -- via expiring message on Whatsapp

 

 

[dbar123]

You paid a deposit for an experience. Looks like you got one. Chalk it up to “life” and move on. Sending a deposit to an unknown is always a huge risk

[NipLuvr212]

17 hours ago, dbar123 said:

You paid a deposit for an experience. Looks like you got one. Chalk it up to “life” and move on. Sending a deposit to an unknown is always a huge risk

I thought I was not vulnerable to scams like these and then it happened to me, too

A guy I had met and had a good time with - messaged me while overseas "in distress" and needed help - asked if I would prepay for a session that he would deliver when he returned - I sent the $, and he has since flaked on me something like 4 times - seems to have a lot of drama in his life, eh?

Lesson learned - I rationalize it as having overpaid for that one session and that red flags exist for a reason.

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, NipLuvr212 said:

…asked if I would prepay for a session that he would deliver when he returned.

Whenever I get requests like this, I always chalk it up as an immediate loss.

If I give the money, I’ll never get the services promised and I’ll never get the money back.

If I say no, the relationship is done. 

True whether it’s escorts, business associates, friends, or family.

Having said that, sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no. 

[NipLuvr212]

17 minutes ago, nycman said:

Whenever I get requests like this, I always chalk it up as an immediate loss.

If I give the money, I’ll never get the services promised and I’ll never get the money back.

If I say no, the relationship is done. 

True whether it’s escorts, business associates, friends, or family.

Having said that, sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no. 

wise words - wish i had consulted you when he asked!