Dear God so many flakes

[Daniel84]

Seriously, this is getting old. I've had six people bail on me. It's always the same thing. They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

What advice can you guys give me to weed out the flakes more?

Edited June 28 by Daniel84

[Venite]

This should be in the “Questions about hiring” segment.

Honestly, if they aren’t willing to give you their cell phone for Mr Number verification, and their account isn’t premium, or their account is very new, I think you should ask for a deposit.
 

If they say no to the deposit, and they don’t have a premium account or they are very new and you don’t have their phone number for verification, you may decline to schedule anything with them, telling them you don’t wish to allot time in the future only for them to flake/possibly waste your time/ disrupt your schedule/disappoint you with the false prospect of making hundreds of dollars. 

Sometimes I pay for the uber/lyft in advance as a “deposit” for a provider.

Sorry this is happening to you.

Edited June 28 by Venite

[+ azdr0710]

@Daniel84  you're one of the reliable guys around here and I wish you weren't having this hassle......some of these flakes may, in fact, be sincere, but are just being very private and careful......you're doing the right thing asking for phone verification and all, but if the client is too nervous, you can't help that...... 

[d.anders]

52 minutes ago, Daniel84 said:

They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

If someone new attempts to book for 2+ hours, and they refuse to give you a contact number (for whatever reason), then I would require a deposit. Actually, now that I think of it, I'd probably have no patience for someone new who booked an appointment and made an excuse about not supplying a contact number. I'd probably be unprofessional and tell him to go fuck himself. I'm not an escort, and this is bad advice. Certain customers are assholes, and if you're in business for yourself, you have to learn how you want to deal with them.

[Delter]

1 hour ago, d.anders said:

If someone new attempts to book for 2+ hours, and they refuse to give you a contact number (for whatever reason), then I would require a deposit.

Agreed. No matter who it is, it’s simply not acceptable in most other professional interactions for a client to “book” something and not even share a phone number with the professional they are requesting a service from.

Sorry you have to go through this @Daniel84.

Edited June 28 by Delter

[Daniel84]

I just blocked him. I blocked out most of his name so other providers know to stay away.

 

He literally responded saying i'm cool lol

[+ Jamie21]

You should get a firmer decision when they book. I make sure that I get a definite agreement. I ask ‘ok do you want me to book that?’ and unless they confirm with ‘yes’ it’s not booked. Also I don’t take those last minute bookings for example within the next few hours (unless they’re a regular).  Those kind of spur of the moment casual clients aren’t worth the hassle, they usually don’t turn up. So I only take bookings if the client is committed to it. Casual responses like ‘yeah’ and ‘sure’ are definite signs of a flake. Finally, I tell them I’ll send a text to remind them on the day (or night before if it’s a morning booking) and that if they don’t confirm to that reminder then I’ll cancel it. 
It’s a shame we have to do all this and I’m sorry you’re getting this hassle but it seems there’s a lot of flakes and you just need to identify them early and cut them off from booking. 

[Daniel84]

This was booked since yesterday. 

[Jiminy]

I heard from a masseur where after he finished the massage, the client just got up, took his clothes and ran out. Full monty and everything. So I don't blame you for being skeptical of clients.

I for one appreciate confirmation texts that let me know the provider is serious.

[aiseeya]

IMO (as a client), depending on your financial condition, do consider requiring a deposit (noting ofc such practice might undeliberately deter legit customers). Pick your battle I reckon. 

[+ Jamie21]

59 minutes ago, Daniel84 said:

This was booked since yesterday. 

I don’t know what exchange you had with him yesterday but the reply ‘1 works or we can reschedule if you’re booked up’ is a big red flag and I’d cancel him at that point unless he replies definitively ‘yes’ to me asking ‘ok so are you definitely coming for 1pm?’. The client is far too casual. 

[Daniel84]

Yup, he probably had no intention of coming. His loss and my gain. 

[+ Jamie21]

Yep, that’s how I think of it. You dodged a bullet. I love it when they ask again a few months (or even years) later having forgotten that they messed me around and I just ignore them, or if they’re insistent I just say that they’ll not be seen because they’re a time waster. 

[pubic_assistance]

30 minutes ago, Daniel84 said:

he probably had no intention of coming.

There are a lot of closeted gay men who contact masseurs and escorts and follow through a booking up to a point, but then get cold feet (or they finished jerking off thinking about it). then disappear. Its an unfortunate risk of the trade. Always try to foster as many regulars as possible.

[b2bf]

I'm sure there are a lot of client flakes out there that waste your time but, to be honest, it works both ways. I just had a couple of fairly important content creators in São Paulo, both on RM, agree to outcall appointments with me and then just didn't show up. Out of twelve inquiries about service (not on RM but garotocomlocal) I had seven not respond. Two asked for pictures (I sent my RM profile) then ghosted me (I'm really not that bad). With many who are now on OnlyFans (or Privacy in Brazil) and now have a steady revenue stream, escorting has become a "side hustle" that they don't take seriously and don't handle professionally. I have no problems with a provider telling me they are not interested but I hate being ghosted. I've rarely had this happen in Canada (I think once maybe). It's happened a few times in Barcelona and London but never as bad as this time in Brazil.

[dbar123]

Danny- You flaked on me twice last summer at the last minute.  Your complaint gave me a good laugh.

 

 

[NYXboy]

Danny, I suspect you have unearthed the identity of the client in the post above! 

[Daniel84]

18 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Danny- You flaked on me twice last summer at the last minute.  Your complaint gave me a good laugh.

 

Hey, I was just checking through our texts.  I had to bail on July 22nd because I rushed my little 4-pound Pom to the emergency vet. We had another appointment three weeks later, and I asked if we could push back the appointment so I could make her appointment and be back in time but it didn't work out for you.

I don't live in Boston anymore, but I'd love to massage you again sometime.

 

Anyone with a dog knows they're everything, especially a tiny one who'll eat anything!

Acknowledging that unforeseen circumstances may necessitate rescheduling, the primary concern of this discussion revolves around the importance of providing timely notification to the service provider in the event of an appointment cancellation.

Edited June 29 by Daniel84

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

22 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

 Its an unfortunate risk of the trade. 

Absolutely!
Much like cauliflower ear or tennis elbow, it's an occupational risk that goes with the territory. 
Nothing you can do about it, except to pop a Xanax or choose another profession.
Best advice is to forget about it, and move on.

BTC
🤡
 

[Nightowl]

You indicated to @dbar123 that you’re not in Boston anymore and I see from your RMass ad that you’re listed as DC though you still mention your Boston studio. If the flakes are in DC, there could be a couple of reasons. Lots of people are getting suddenly fired there nowadays and funds may no longer be available, and people in certain positions—DoD, FBI, State, etc—could lose their jobs if their hiring became known.  I’ve seen it happen many times.  Might explain their paranoia over discretion.  I don’t know if those were reasons for them flaking; just possibilities.  

(Side note: I’m in the DC area.  If that’s where you have relocated, welcome!  May I DM you?)

[BuffaloKyle]

I can see why so many providers lately seem to have same day appts only on their ads. To block out a time and day and turn down other clients to have the original client not show up then must be so maddening.

[Daniel84]

43 minutes ago, Nightowl said:

You indicated to @dbar123 that you’re not in Boston anymore and I see from your RMass ad that you’re listed as DC though you still mention your Boston studio. If the flakes are in DC, there could be a couple of reasons. Lots of people are getting suddenly fired there nowadays and funds may no longer be available, and people in certain positions—DoD, FBI, State, etc—could lose their jobs if their hiring became known.  I’ve seen it happen many times.  Might explain their paranoia over discretion.  I don’t know if those were reasons for them flaking; just possibilities.  

(Side note: I’m in the DC area.  If that’s where you have relocated, welcome!  May I DM you?)

I just sent you a PM

[SirBillybob]

On 6/28/2025 at 7:00 PM, b2bf said:

I'm sure there are a lot of client flakes out there that waste your time but, to be honest, it works both ways. I just had a couple of fairly important content creators in São Paulo, both on RM, agree to outcall appointments with me and then just didn't show up. Out of twelve inquiries about service (not on RM but garotocomlocal) I had seven not respond. Two asked for pictures (I sent my RM profile) then ghosted me (I'm really not that bad). With many who are now on OnlyFans (or Privacy in Brazil) and now have a steady revenue stream, escorting has become a "side hustle" that they don't take seriously and don't handle professionally. I have no problems with a provider telling me they are not interested but I hate being ghosted. I've rarely had this happen in Canada (I think once maybe). It's happened a few times in Barcelona and London but never as bad as this time in Brazil.

But my god when you have a breakthrough win that takes but minutes to arrange, is true following TGTBT(?), and making you blush while close to fainting with excitement. (Gutto is just the emoticon brand)

This particular illustration of the tail end of a brief communication setting up plans occurred following the date of your post.

Edited June 30 by SirBillybob

[+ DrownedBoy]

Have them fill out their own profile on RentMen and send you it. They don't need photos, but should have stats and what they're into.

Like several said above - premium RM customers, who have lots of reviews under their belt, should be a main target. Too bad most providers don't realize that basic business tip.

[SirBillybob]

On 6/28/2025 at 1:58 PM, Daniel84 said:

Seriously, this is getting old. I've had six people bail on me. It's always the same thing. They book for two hours, message me on RM, and I ask them for their cell to confirm. They respond how they are discrete bla bla.. clients wonder why providers are starting to require deposits. 

What advice can you guys give me to weed out the flakes more?

That is unfair, no doubt about it. Problem is it’s not a profession where vetting and cancellation contingencies can be easily operationalized. I am reliable in hiring and had experienced reliability from decades of clients within a more conventional professional service realm. I have no suggestions that I imagine could make a difference.