Provider Cancels on Weekend Getaway at the Last Minute

[+ Jamie21]

[Text redacted]

I’ve no problem with being called a hooker or whatever. Prefer to be called a sex worker, but what’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. 
Also doing sex work can be approached casually (many do), or professionally (as in by having certain standards and by being reliable and honest etc). I argue that by being professional one can be more successful and have an investment portfolio 😉. 
I’ve found that those who denigrate the work do so because either they have prejudices or insecurities or they’re jealous. They deny it of course because it’s better for their ego for others to have a problem but the inescapable reality is that it’s their thinking and their problem. There’s nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. 
 

[+ ApexNomad]

57 minutes ago, JeffsterLA said:

I love how you all refer to the guy as a “provider” rather than a hooker or escort. It’s like referring to an amateur porn maker a “content provider.”  Let’s all whitewash smut by giving it respectable names lol. 

You’re not just criticizing terminology—you’re going out of your way to demean people who engage in sex work, equating them as if they’re criminals and acting as if their humanity is up for debate. Whether or not you personally approve of their work, basic respect isn’t “woke-ism”— it’s just human decency. If you can’t engage in a conversation without stripping people of dignity, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why this topic bothers you so much.

[NYXboy]

back to the topic on hand - if you had planned a days long trip, I imagine the fee would have been a significant amount. It is unlikely the provider is willing to  cancel on this and give up that fee unless one of two optiosn occured:

 

1. The provider is being genuine that he feels like he would not be able to deliver an experience you deserve, didn't feel comfortable taking your money, risk getting a bad review, and thought you being disappointed he wasn't able to make it was the lesser of two evils. 

 

OR

2. He thought about the rate, thought about his time with you, and said to himself - 'I don't want to do this again.' 

 

You will never know unless you explicitly ask him, rather than random people on a message board who are all just speculating.  

[Oakman]

19 hours ago, FaustOust said:

Should I not hire him again, or is being stood up in this manner a risk, and cost, one assumes when travelling with escorts? How should I respond, if at all?

If I incurred costs setting this rendezvous up, I would be pissed, but also accept that it was the risk I took (it seems like you have accepted that). I would never hire this person again and I would write a review criticizing them and warning others not to book weekends or fancy dates with them. 

[JeffsterLA]

1 hour ago, ApexNomad said:

You’re not just criticizing terminology—you’re going out of your way to demean people who engage in sex work, equating them as if they’re criminals and acting as if their humanity is up for debate. Whether or not you personally approve of their work, basic respect isn’t “woke-ism”— it’s just human decency. If you can’t engage in a conversation without stripping people of dignity, maybe it’s time to ask yourself why this topic bothers you so much.

So should we refer to a drug dealer as a pharmaceutical provider? Yes or no?

[Luv2play]

3 hours ago, JeffsterLA said:

I love how you all refer to the guy as a “provider” rather than a hooker or escort. It’s like referring to an amateur porn maker a “content provider.”  Let’s all whitewash smut by giving it respectable names lol. 

Are you certain you are in the right place? 

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, JeffsterLA said:

So should we refer to a drug dealer as a pharmaceutical provider? Yes or no?

Stop the bullshit! That’s a false equivalency, and you know it. Drug dealing involves controlled substances that can be harmful or lethal. Sex work, on the other hand, is a consensual service between adults. If you can’t tell the difference, the problem isn’t terminology—it’s your lack of critical thinking.

This isn’t about logic for you, it’s about demeaning people and moral judgment.

[mike carey]

@tassojunior made a timely intervention in the Friday Funnies thread:

This may be true, but it does have an uncanny ability to alert others.

[FaustOust]

3 hours ago, NYXboy said:

You will never know unless you explicitly ask him, rather than random people on a message board who are all just speculating.  

I’m not trying to discern what was in his head.  The outcome is really all I can deal with. Asking him whether he stood me up for  one reason or the other doesn’t change my response to the outcome. Plus he could say anything he wanted to justify how he did what did, whether it was true or not. I am merely seeking advice on what my response to his actions might be from people who may have had experience in the matter and measuring what risk I take if I were to do it again.

 I think that is a wise way to make a decision and a function of this message board for such things.

[FaustOust]

4 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Not professions, eh?

Yeah...  Tell that to my investment portfolio.

I don’t think  it’s the size of your portfolio which determines whether one is engaged in a profession or behaves professionally. This guy obviously didn’t need my money and didn’t have a problem with causing me to waste mine. Maybe he had a large investment portfolio.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

16 minutes ago, FaustOust said:

I don’t think  it’s the size of your portfolio which determines whether one is engaged in a profession or behaves professionally. This guy obviously didn’t need my money and didn’t have a problem with causing me to waste mine. Maybe he had a large investment portfolio.

I think you have misunderstood.

I was responding to the asshole who somehow thought an escort couldn't create a full career from just escorting.

My reply was to infer otherwise. I wasn't making any comment on your situation.  

 

[BrooklynIrish]

[Quoted text redacted]

In the running for dumbest post ever. Sex worker is work. Good escorts and masseurs are professionals who treat their clients well. That sex work is illegal is more due to puritanical bullshit and hypocrisy from the very men who are trying to demolish our country. 
 

Please don’t hire people whom you can’t even treat with basic respect. 
 

 

[Boaxxx]

At a minimum he should have call you directly rather than sending a text. Also, if he was aware of the activities that were planned, like the concert, then I feel he should compensate you for the loss. A professional would have called, provided some type of compensation and sent something to your room (flowers, wine, cheese tray, etc) especially since you have a history with him. 

[mike carey]

Gentlemen, the moderators are reviewing this thread. We have already removed some inappropriate comments from the thread, but some members will see some that remain as also being questionable. Kindly stick to the topic and refrain from commentary on your fellow posters or on escorts. As always, it should go without saying to avoid any political commentary.

[+ nycman]

12 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

That depends on how forgiving you are and how much you enjoy his company.

And how much you enjoy being a doormat. 

I suggest you move on and don’t look back. This young man obviously doesn’t care about you or your time. Take your money and invest it elsewhere. 

[NYXboy]

13 hours ago, FaustOust said:

I’m not trying to discern what was in his head.  The outcome is really all I can deal with. Asking him whether he stood me up for  one reason or the other doesn’t change my response to the outcome. Plus he could say anything he wanted to justify how he did what did, whether it was true or not.

The thing is - his intention does (or should) directly affect the appropriate response. Not jumping this step is critical.

Either he was being genuine, or he was not. 

You may have to ask yourself a hard question: 'Did I do something to the provider, or is there something about me that made him not want the job?' and have a tough answer to hear. Instead by asking people how you should respond - you already know how to respond. I think you want to hear things that will make you feel good, rather than the hard truth, which will actually help and I understand why. Rejection is hard and hurtful.  Understanding WHY, no matter how hurtful though is the only way of limiting the risks of this happening again. 

Quote

I am merely seeking advice on what my response to his actions might be from people who may have had experience in the matter and measuring what risk I take if I were to do it again.

 I think that is a wise way to make a decision and a function of this message board for such things.

I suppose I will ask you this question: what is your stance on the reverse? How do people respond to you when you cancel an engagement with them? Have you ever set up an appointment with him (or anyone) and then canceled?   How did you do that? how did they respond?  (I am sure you didn't buy flowers - you would only do something like that with a true friend - not a paid employee.)

I feel like actions speak louder than words. Through his actions, he has told you his stance. Yet you still desire him so you are looking for a way to reason with a less hurtful excuse for his rejection and to consider hiring him again when you already know the answer is to not hire him again. He knew that would be the result of canceling and he did it anyway (side note - reminds me of the scene in Game of Thrones where Marjorie says 'Cersi is aware of the consequences of not attending the trial, a she is not here anyway- which means she never intends to suffer the consequences!")

Either that or you are looking here for support from people to tell you what a horrible guy this provider is, which will give you comfort - and there is nothing wrong with seeking that. 

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh - it is not my intention to be hurtful or mean - but I really do feel that it's best to not sugarcoat things here. Everyone here is saying 'move on', 'he is unprofessional', 'choose someone else', 'don't hire him again' and look,  I agree with them - but I can't help but wonder that there must be something more as I can't imagine a provider turning down multi-day hire going away somewhere unless they REALLY didn't want too. 

Edited February 27 by NYXboy

[aiseeya]

This guy clearly lacks work ethic. Sure shite happens but there ought to be ways to compensate the 'losing' party. Gotta look at this from a business perspective, that is literally his job. 

A provider (whom I met for 1st time) had offer me 1 free session as compensation because he wasnt able to 'get it up'. I had forgot about that offer until he reminded me couple weeks after. That gesture speaks volume of his character.

Other provider had to cancel on me a couple hours before appointed time, he then scheduled me in for the next day and stay past the agreed time (with no extra charge).

That said, if I were you I wont be booking that guy in the future. There is no point of talking it out with him, trying to suss out his reasonings.....not with how he had treated you. I would inclined to say otherwise had he offer some sort of compensation for your loss.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The issue here is really one that has been problematic in the business for a long, long time.

In an unregulated industry, escorts basically have to police themselves to be- and remain- reliable professionals.

It's not that an escort cancels, but how he cancels and, more importantly, how he keeps his client happy after that fact.

Many guys in this business don't understand how to schmooze when things go a little South.

Being a good fuck or having a superb body is one thing. 

Being a great communicator with a natural ease is the true talent.

[+ Drew Collins]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Being a good fuck or having a superb body is one thing. 

Being a great communicator with a natural ease is the true talent.

Hear, f*ckin' hear!  👏

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The issue here is really one that has been problematic in the business for a long, long time.

In an unregulated industry, escorts basically have to police themselves to be- and remain- reliable professionals.

It's not that an escort cancels, but how he cancels and, more importantly, how he keeps his client happy after that fact.

Many guys in this business don't understand how to schmooze when things go a little South.

Being a good fuck or having a superb body is one thing. 

Being a great communicator with a natural ease is the true talent.

It's also the reason why clients need to police the business as well.

Clients who give a pass to unprofessional providers just make it harder for both sides.

Clients who cheat providers make all clients look bad.

Clients are the only people who can warn other clients about unprofessional providers.

Clients need to be friendly, hospitable, and honest in their dealings, but not forget who starts with the money.

[Thelatin]

I've had so many stories from providers over the years that I simply have to choose not to believe them anymore.  I'm sure I'm wrong on occasion and they are being perfectly honest.  But I have a terrible history of being gullible and giving 2nd, 3rd, 10th chances.   I'd forget about it and move on to another person.   

[+ PhileasFogg]

I suspect you would have understood if he was a bit tired.   I don't think you're being unreasonable thinking it could have worked.

It feel as though he was making it about you, but it was really have him.

 

[Archangel]

On 2/25/2025 at 11:37 PM, FaustOust said:

Am I being unreasonable by thinking that he could have made this work if he really wanted to?

I’m of the mind that in most cases, people can make most anything work if they really want. It’s about priorities. Not always. Things happen, but if you’re good at reading a situation, you know if you’re being sold a bill of goods. Sorry this happened to you.

[Archangel]

Re: hooker v. provider/escort

One is low-class and out to make a buck. It definitely carries a negative overtone. And some sex workers do in fact fit that bill.

The other provides a quality experience and is enjoyable for the client. The object isn’t to take advantage but for both parties to reach an agreeable middle ground. A true business deal, if you will. The kind of sex workers most on this forum hire fall into this category.

To think that all sex workers are out to provide a quality service for the client, without potentially taking advantage of the client – that’s shortsighted. But thinking all sex workers will take advantage at every opportunity is also unfair and simply unaligned with reality.

[Becket]

On 2/26/2025 at 4:34 PM, JeffsterLA said:

How so? He’s an escort right? It’s prostitution. No?

Why are you on this site? What are you doing here?