The entitlement of straight men

[Archangel]

Fell into a trap. I know better. I do. But there I was, wasting my time in a Facebook political discussion with a straight, white, Gen X/Boomer man. You already know how this went. I made my points clear, articulate, thoughtful. He responded with reheated talking points, the kind that feel like they’ve been sitting under a heat lamp at a gas station deli for a few decades. Not an original thought or articulation…

Then he asks: Where do you get your news?

Ah, the question. The one meant to invalidate anything I just said, because if I name a source that isn’t Fox, the Wall Street Journal opinion section, or some crypto-bro podcast, I might as well have said, I hear the voices of Karl Marx whispering to me in my sleep. But I’m not new to this, so I tell him I’m not answering because it would just lead to him dismissing me.

And wouldn’t you know it? He keeps going. I literally say I’m done. I lay it out. I remove myself. And yet he keeps responding. More talking points. No original thoughts. Asking again where I get my news. As if I owe him an answer. As if he’s entitled to a response.

And that’s s what gets me. The entitlement. The assumption that they are always owed the last word. That they speak, and the world must pause to marvel at their wisdom. That their worldview is the default setting for reality, and we are simply guests in it. Where does this come from? Who gave them this confidence? Because I know damn well it wasn’t merit.

I’ve seen this play out in every setting imaginable. They dominate conversations, dismiss any challenge, and yet somehow we’re the ones accused of being emotional, uninformed, or too sensitive.  We’ve all watched them pull this move at family gatherings, in the workplace, even in our own spaces.

It’s especially funny because Gen X men like to pretend they’re above it all, but put them in a room with a millennial or Gen Z who dares to push back, and suddenly they’re one step away from typing in all caps about not respecting authority. Boomers at least have the excuse of being Boomers. Gen X? You were right there when the world was shifting, but instead of rolling with it, half of you just aged into Joe Rogan subscribers.

So tell me…why do they think they’re the final authority on everything? And how do you handle it when they just keep talking?

Edited February 21 by Archangel

[jeezifonly]

Check Facebook to see if there’s a local shelter, political org or pantry that needs volunteers.

Log out and go be with people - volunteer. You’ll forget about this douche in no time. 

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, Archangel said:

So tell me…why do they think they’re the final authority on everything?

They only have that power over you because you give it to them. 

[+ Jamie21]

They’re compensating for a lack of something (usually they lacked attention as a child, and they feel inadequate as a man in some way) so they compensate their fragile ego by seeking power and wealth and outward appearances of success - like driving an expensive car, having self aggrandising job titles, wanting to own Greenland, or having lots of big phallic missiles parade past you in Red Square…that kind of thing. 

Best to laugh at them. Don’t argue just laugh. They hate that. 
 

[mike carey]

6 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

They’re compensating for a lack of something (usually they lacked attention as a child, and they feel inadequate as a man in some way) so they compensate their fragile ego by seeking power and wealth and outward appearances of success - like driving an expensive car, having self aggrandising job titles, wanting to own Greenland, or having lots of big phallic missiles parade past you in Red Square…that kind of thing. 

Best to laugh at them. Don’t argue just laugh. They hate that. 
 

Frederik X has a lot to answer for! Plus sailing yachts in the Olympics!

[Archangel]

9 hours ago, nycman said:

They only have that power over you because you give it to them. 

Hence why I didn’t engage after I said I was done. But where do they come off thinking they have that power? Obviously someone has given it to them or told them they deserve it. 

[+ ApexNomad]

3 minutes ago, Archangel said:

Hence why I didn’t engage after I said I was done. But where do they come off thinking they have that power? Obviously someone has given it to them or told them they deserve it. 

A cocktail of hubris, ego, and status anxiety. People who feel entitled often do so because their sense of self-worth is tied to being right or feeling superior. It’s that fear of losing relevance that fuels their insistence on control. 

[Archangel]

That’s why, while I agree with @Jamie21that laughing bothers them and they hate it, what really they can’t stand is outright ignoring their demands, such as not answering the question – after saying I wouldn’t engage anymore – “Where do you get your news.” To him, that was a deciding factor on whatever merits-based assessment he uses to determine someone’s worthiness for respect. By not engaging that, I robbed him not only of his only source of conversational ammo but also silently told him I don’t kowtow to his infantile demands simply because he makes them.

[Lotus-eater]

It is no better to dismiss someone on the basis of the "entitlement of straight men" or superficial reductionist psychological explanations than it is to be dismissed on the basis your preferred news sources.

 

[pubic_assistance]

21 hours ago, Archangel said:

So tell me…why do they think they’re the final authority on everything? And how do you handle it

After reading through all this ...my first thought was: what makes YOU the final authority?

You sound like you're very quick to dismiss his opinion as inferior to your own.

Maybe have an actual discussion where you try to understand his viewpoint, then he might not need the last word.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 2/20/2025 at 8:24 PM, Archangel said:

Who gave them this confidence?

Life experience. 

I remember a political conversation I had when I was in my 20s.  My father, rather than argue with me in public, simply said "That's a very innocent way of looking at things".  I knew instantly what he meant:  There was some more information out there that I wasn't exposed to yet.  He understood my viewpoint; but, also new things that I didn't know at the time.

I can agree with Horace Vandergelder in "Hello, Dolly!":

"Well, a man's not worth a cent until he's 40. We just pay him wages until then to make mistakes."

On 2/20/2025 at 8:24 PM, Archangel said:

I made my points clear, articulate, thoughtful.

That may be; nonetheless, the other person may have a better point of view or simply a different priority of values than yourself

On 2/20/2025 at 8:24 PM, Archangel said:

The assumption that they are always owed the last word

 

On 2/20/2025 at 8:24 PM, Archangel said:

I literally say I’m done.

This goes both ways.   It appears you are frustrated that he got the last word after you intended to get the last word by declaring "I'm done" as your last word

On 2/20/2025 at 8:24 PM, Archangel said:

So tell me…why do they think they’re the final authority on everything? And how do you handle it when they just keep talking?

The same way I would handle it if a young gay man insisted on repeating the same opinion over and over... Walk away... Even if he keeps talking and gets in his last words

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 2/20/2025 at 10:24 PM, Archangel said:

… a straight, white, Gen X/Boomer man… I made my points clear, articulate, thoughtful. 

There’s a whole lot of labels there that suggest you were doing a lot of judging

and I’d suggest that if you were in fact clear, articulate, and thoughtful, you may have changed his mind.  But, as it is, I’d suggest that a tone of judgment or condescension may have leaked into your comments.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s you feeling a little entitled?

[Archangel]

9 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

This goes both ways.   It appears you are frustrated that he got the last word after you intended to get the last word by declaring "I'm done" as your last word

On 2/20/2025 at 11:24 PM, Archangel said:

So tell me…why do they think they’re the final authority on everything? And how do you handle it when they just keep talking?

The same way I would handle it if a young gay man insisted on repeating the same opinion over and over... Walk away... Even if he keeps talking and gets in his last words

I said I’m done so he knew I wouldn’t reply to his inevitable attempt to bait me back in. And walk away is exactly what I did.

What frustrates me, no matter what you say or want to reassign my feelings, is his apparent idea that by virtue of who he is he’s owed deference.

If it wouldn’t be a huge breach of privacy and personal identity security, I’d share what was posted. But I assure you, the guy didn’t post with the same tone as your father. He just didn’t like that I disagreed with him.

I don’t expect you to change your mind about my opinion as you seem to have formed one of what I feel and believe – wrong though it be – based of me having said precisely what I feel and believe.

Edited February 25 by Archangel

[Archangel]

5 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

There’s a whole lot of labels there that suggest you were doing a lot of judging

and I’d suggest that if you were in fact clear, articulate, and thoughtful, you may have changed his mind.  But, as it is, I’d suggest that a tone of judgment or condescension may have leaked into your comments.  Maybe, just maybe, it’s you feeling a little entitled?

Of course. As they did his. He’s not righteous here.

I’m willing to wager that people rarely change their minds based off social media posts (this forum is a prime example – I’m doubtful what I write here will change your mind!) I can say that I included various quotes and examples but it wasn’t what he wanted because he wanted to discredit my sources.

And for what it’s worth, I know the man personally, and he is straight and white, talks about both those facts periodically, and I’m not sure exactly of his age, but he is in the neighborhood of 45, give or take.

 

Edited February 25 by Archangel

[Archangel]

So…I’m gathering that no one agrees that straight, white men of the Gen X/Boomer generation, largely, feel entitled by virtue of who they are to unquestioned acceptance or agreement.

✅

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The first rule of social media is to never argue with people in hopes of changing minds or 'to win.'

Just walk away.  Disengage.  Block.  Never look back.

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

1 hour ago, Archangel said:

So…I’m gathering that no one agrees that straight, white men of the Gen X/Boomer generation, largely, feel entitled by virtue of who they are to unquestioned acceptance or agreement.

✅

Bozo knows straight white men that feel entitled, straight white women that feel entitled, straight black men that feel entitled, gay white men that feel entitled, gay white women that feel entitled, gay black men that feel entitled, straight black women that feel entitled, and gay black women that feel entitled....

The only "trap" you fell into was to smear an entire group of people as "entitled" based on personal prejudice and pre-conceived notions.

BTC
🤡

[CuriousByNature]

2 hours ago, Archangel said:

Of course. As they did his. He’s not righteous here.

I’m willing to wager that people rarely change their minds based off social media posts (this forum is a prime example – I’m doubtful what I write here will change your mind!) I can say that I included various quotes and examples but it wasn’t what he wanted because he wanted to discredit my sources.

And for what it’s worth, I know the man personally, and he is straight and white, talks about both those facts periodically, and I’m not sure exactly of his age, but he is in the neighborhood of 45, give or take.

 

It's clear that you are really bothered by the interaction you had with this individual, and while I can empathize to a certain extent, maybe your reactions are doing exactly what he wants - leaving you without a sense of peace.  People 'win' when they are able to get into our heads.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Question:  Why did you edit yourself?

You clearly had an angle to the post and when faced with replies, you changed it.

By proxy, it makes a lot of the replies now look odd.

[+ José Soplanucas]

4 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Question:  Why did you edit yourself?

You clearly had an angle to the post and when faced with replies, you changed it.

By proxy, it makes a lot of the replies now look odd.

And yet, I would love to know where he gets his news from!

[pubic_assistance]

7 hours ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

The only "trap" you fell into was to smear an entire group of people as "entitled" based on personal prejudice and pre-conceived notions.

Thank you, Bozo.

Spot on.

[Archangel]

I decided I’m not allowing a bunch of people who choose to grossly mischaracterize me and indirectly malign me keep me silent. So I’ll keep participating after all.

[Archangel]

On 2/25/2025 at 12:33 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Question:  Why did you edit yourself?

You clearly had an angle to the post and when faced with replies, you changed it.

By proxy, it makes a lot of the replies now look odd.

I don’t understand. Why have an edit function if it’s not okay to use it? I corrected typos and added more to that came to me after I submitted. It’s like you’re looking for a reason to discredit what I have to say.

[Archangel]

On 2/25/2025 at 5:05 PM, José Soplanucas said:

And yet, I would love to know where he gets his news from!

Who? Me? Or the guy I was discussing talking with on FB?

[Archangel]

I honestly don’t subscribe to the notion of generational distinctions as it’s talked about here. That was sort of my point in being so bold about calling out so-called Boomers. There are plenty of Boomers who act like Gen Z and plenty of Gen Z who act like Boomers. What that whole thread was about was simply bitching about young people (cf. below) – which will always bother me. But when the shoe is on the other foot, it’s unfair to make gross generalizations.