First Contact with a Provider

[+ pizzaBoy]

So I'm new to this game, and I joined the site to educate myself (and it's been great). There's a provider I want to reach out to, Maybe I'm officially overinformed now, or just overthinking it, but I've got a case of cold feet. I see advice here saying I should lay out all details (payment, logistics, services, etc.) with the provider in advance, so there are no misunderstandings during the meet up. Then I see advice saying that talking rate or desires too soon sends the wrong message. I also see a lot of "I reached out to so and so and he blocked me instantly." I mean I wouldn't be so bold (stupid) as to open with "Hey what do you charge?" or "Hi! Do you swallow?" But I also don't want to waste anyone's time exchanging pleasantries till it feels like the right time to discuss gritty details. I actually feel like a good provider will help lead the conversation, but I don't have that expectation either, so I want to be prepared. 

Do you all have a standard opening greeting when making contact with a provider for the first time? 

[acks0104]

Don't send an essay in your first message but saying what you want or what info you need is totally fine. 

"Hi there, I was interested in possibly booking a session with you and wanted to ask what you rate is. Thank you"

[+ APPLE1]

In my first message I always include a greeting, an introduction, a where, a when, and what, followed by a 'will this work.'

Hello, Bob here. I am looking for an out-call downtown on Thur night after 7pm. I would like an erotic massage and mutual oral. Are you available for this?

[56harrisond]

Some previous discussions linked here

 

[+ purplekow]

Who What Where When How

Who you are   Older hefty vers with a kinky side

What you want.   2 hour session for light bondage and oral

Where  to meet.   Meet at the St Regis Hotel bar 

When to meet.  Thursday evening at a time convenient for you

How.much.   Please advise of your rate and any extras I might need to know about beforehand.  

[+ Jamie21]

2 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

In my first message I always include a greeting, an introduction, a where, a when, and what, followed by a 'will this work.'

Hello, Bob here. I am looking for an out-call downtown on Thur night after 7pm. I would like an erotic massage and mutual oral. Are you available for this?

This one. It provides enough information for a response and then you can progress to more detailed discussion once you have a positive response from him.

 I always find the difficult enquiries are those where I get a long explanation straight off…it’s nice to know the client’s motivations but I don’t need a life story or a detailed breakdown of what kind of activities he likes and why. Or the other end of the scale…the “hi” or  the “hi interested to hear more about your services” are the most difficult openers. It’s far too vague. I appreciate maybe they want to initiate the discussion somehow but I can’t really type a long answer to every enquiry like that so I say ‘have a look at my website and ask anything if you can’t find the answer there’. “Hi” usually just gets responded to with “hi”. What else can I say? 

So I think @APPLE1has got it nicely phrased and succinct. Once you have a decent reply to that opening then you can ask about rates and any questions that his advertising didn’t answer or was vague about. 

You’re right that a good provider should lead the conversation but only to the extent that you help him by being clear and succinct. He won’t be bothered to tease it out of you. 
 

[+ bcbg1205]

I have a RM profile that lists everything I am looking for. I refer the potential provider to it to see if we are compatible and I tell him that I can answer any questions he may have. I tell him where I live and the date and time I am looking for. It almost always works!

[soloyo215]

10 hours ago, pizzaBoy said:

So I'm new to this game, and I joined the site to educate myself (and it's been great). There's a provider I want to reach out to, Maybe I'm officially overinformed now, or just overthinking it, but I've got a case of cold feet. I see advice here saying I should lay out all details (payment, logistics, services, etc.) with the provider in advance, so there are no misunderstandings during the meet up. Then I see advice saying that talking rate or desires too soon sends the wrong message. I also see a lot of "I reached out to so and so and he blocked me instantly." I mean I wouldn't be so bold (stupid) as to open with "Hey what do you charge?" or "Hi! Do you swallow?" But I also don't want to waste anyone's time exchanging pleasantries till it feels like the right time to discuss gritty details. I actually feel like a good provider will help lead the conversation, but I don't have that expectation either, so I want to be prepared. 

Do you all have a standard opening greeting when making contact with a provider for the first time? 

I agree about not being too forward, but the discussion can be integrated in a conversation. Just start with saying hello, and that you came across his profile and your are interested and want to know his availability. From his response then you can start the discussion. You don't need to act like you are a form to be completed. Have a conversation.

Providers are there to provide and to accommodate. If you are pleasant and clear, the provider will accommodate.

You'll be fine.

[Wolfer]

35 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

This one. It provides enough information for a response and then you can progress to more detailed discussion once you have a positive response from him.

 I always find the difficult enquiries are those where I get a long explanation straight off…it’s nice to know the client’s motivations but I don’t need a life story or a detailed breakdown of what kind of activities he likes and why. Or the other end of the scale…the “hi” or  the “hi interested to hear more about your services” are the most difficult openers. It’s far too vague. I appreciate maybe they want to initiate the discussion somehow but I can’t really type a long answer to every enquiry like that so I say ‘have a look at my website and ask anything if you can’t find the answer there’. “Hi” usually just gets responded to with “hi”. What else can I say? 

So I think @APPLE1has got it nicely phrased and succinct. Once you have a decent reply to that opening then you can ask about rates and any questions that his advertising didn’t answer or was vague about. 

You’re right that a good provider should lead the conversation but only to the extent that you help him by being clear and succinct. He won’t be bothered to tease it out of you. 
 

I've been trying to perfect that opening message for nearly 10 years now and I still haven't found that magical balance between getting confirmation that they offer what I want without it being too long.

Anyway, here's my current opening text (be aware I live in a country where this is fully legal):

Hi, I saw your profile on (site). What's the price for 1 hour at your place? Do you suck dick, do you bottom bareback? I enjoy romantic sex with lots of kissing and cuddling, is this possible? Thanks! I'm available (a few dates and times) 

Edited July 16, 2024 by Wolfer

[marylander1940]

Can we please start combining threads with the same subject?

 

Can we please start searching before posting?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Just now, marylander1940 said:

Can we please start combining threads with the same subject?

 

Can we please start searching before posting?

As someone who always does a search first, they’re not necessarily helpful because the subject lines can be vague or the results are quite old. This is particularly so when searching for info on a provider since some change names; others move, etc. 

also newbies don’t necessarily know how to search. 

[pubic_assistance]

11 hours ago, pizzaBoy said:

." I mean I wouldn't be so bold (stupid) as to open with "Hey what do you charge?"

It's a business arrangement. So that's exactly what you do. Ask: "how much" ?

It's also a business that's ILLEGAL in most of the United States so although many of the gentlemen here insist on including a menu of sexual requests...THAT can be used against you if you were to be accused of sex trafficking. (A rare but growing trend) so decide how much risk you're willing to take. I keep mine at ZERO.

4 hours ago, acks0104 said:

Hi there, I was interested in possibly booking a session with you and wanted to ask what you rate is. Thank you"

@acks0104 has it right.

Just start the conversation with an inquiry about rates and availability.

My opening line for escorts:

"Hi. I was checking out your profile. I see we have some interests in common. Are you available Tuesday late afternoon for an hour session of (escort/erotic massage) *pick one* Can you tell me about your rates and can you host ? 53y.o. fit/healthy bi w.m. here."

Thanks

Once you engage the provider he may ask what you're looking for. Or not. This varies. Again. .. tread lightly. Discussion of sex for money is ILLEGAL. So best to discuss in private or talk around it: "I see you listed anal in your interests. I'm very into that".

Many providers are themselves super cautious about being caught selling sex so will NOT engage in overt discussions about it. So either way, I advise against the calls here to "be upfront" by being TOO upfront.

*enjoy*

Edited July 16, 2024 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

So I think @APPLE1has got it nicely phrased and succinct. Once you have a decent reply to that opening then you can ask about rates and any questions that his advertising didn’t answer or was vague about. 

As usual, I agree with @Jamie21. @APPLE1 opening is very close to my own. You want to provide key info: when, where, what, and end with question for him to respond to. 

[marylander1940]

Just now, KensingtonHomo said:

As usual, I agree with @Jamie21. @APPLE1 opening is very close to my own. You want to provide key info: when, where, what, and end with question for him to respond to. 

I would also tell the provider realistic stats about my body type, HWP, etc. but I would never send a picture of myself like some on here do. 

[pubic_assistance]

34 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

 I would never send a picture of myself like some on here do. 

The request for photos generally only comes from providers who are so good looking they don't feel the need to spread their legs for everyone and have the ability to be discerning about clients who are particularly gross.

[marylander1940]

12 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

The request for photos generally only comes from providers who are so good looking they don't feel the need to spread their legs for everyone and have the ability to be discerning about clients who are particularly gross.

I agree but in some cases "gross" is in the eyes of the beholder. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

4 hours ago, purplekow said:

What you want.   2 hour session for light bondage and oral

Where  to meet.   Meet at the St Regis Hotel bar 

I like where this is going.

[+ azdr0710]

Professional, to-the-point, polite, respectful communication.  Don't send daily giddy texts/emails that don't advance the planning. Don't pay a deposit. When meeting, firm handshake, look him in the eyes, smile, talk slowly. Suggest a massage to break the ice after some small talk. I usually am the clockwatcher so I can make sure I get what I want before the deadline. Don't take it too seriously. Make sure he has fun, too. 

[BaronArtz]

My opening line is usually something as follows:

'Hi, your profile got my attention,  You are totally my type!  I would be interested in (erotic massage), incall.  Weekday afternoons are best.  Does that work for you?

i am 50s, athletic, overall nice and respectful male person  I have written numerous positive reviews on this website,  Feel free to check me out or ask questions,'

No immediate questions about fees or specific activities.  If we move forward, I let the guy work his magic.  Specific requests, if any, are for the 2nd or 3rd session.

It has worked very well for me.

Edited July 16, 2024 by BaronArtz

[+ pizzaBoy]

3 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Can we please start combining threads with the same subject?

 

Can we please start searching before posting?

I'm posting because I've been searching... 

[+ pizzaBoy]

This is all good sound advice that directly addresses my concerns. Plus a few tidbits that I probably needed a reminder of. I'm happy I asked. Thank you all for weighing in. 

[+ purplekow]

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I like where this is going.

Well it could be going further if you would like, and by my past experiences, I believe you would like.  Let me know if you ever decide that it may be worth your time and my effort.    

[Thelatin]

My first provider taught me to use the word donation, instead of rate etc.  Not sure if it matters.  But I continue to use it. 

[+ azdr0710]

1 hour ago, Thelatin said:

My first provider taught me to use the word donation, instead of rate etc.  Not sure if it matters.  But I continue to use it. 

good point!.....use of that word may signal to the provider that the client is sincere about discretion

[+ APPLE1]

11 hours ago, bcbg1205 said:

I have a RM profile that lists everything I am looking for. I refer the potential provider to it to see if we are compatible and I tell him that I can answer any questions he may have. I tell him where I live and the date and time I am looking for. It almost always works!

I truly wished that worked for me. For some reason, the providers I approach almost never read my profile. 🤷🏻