Second Chances?

[coriolis888]

9 minutes ago, leftbench23 said:

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in? We just accept it and move on.

The client is the one with the money that the provider needs. 

We, the client, are allegedly more responsible (time wise) than a provider.

Having a provider block off three hours of time in anticipation of making money from a client only to have the client cancel with fifteen minutes of the appointment is irresponsible to say the least. 

The fact that the client does not seem to understand that this behavior is wrong is quite puzzling.  

 

[Andy2]

I agree with everything Public Assistance has said and with the consensus that the OP screwed up bigtime: (1) it was exceedingly rude to cancel a 3 hour session for this reason, as the provider has surely relied on your promise to arrange his day; (2) it is not unusual for either the client or the provider to arrive 15 minutes late, and the common sense approach is to call/text and see if the other party can adjust; (3) the OP's question reflects entitlement and presumptuousness.  

On (3), the proper question is whether the provider will see the OP again.  IMHO, the OP should offer an advance payment for one of the hours he cost the provider earlier.  A sign of good faith, plus it is fair.  Then if the provider would be willing to see the OP, pay the normal rate.  

[pubic_assistance]

47 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

The fact that the client does not seem to understand that this behavior is wrong is quite puzzling.  

 

The very definition of narcissism; when you fuck someone over and then act like you're the victim !

[coriolis888]

Hypothetical:

The client mentioned that he would like another chance to meet the provider. 

If that were to happen (and I seriously doubt it will), the provider, by nature, would justifiably have hostility toward the client unless the client compensated the provider for the prior fee that was defaulted solely because of the client. 

Is the client so dense that he would think he could reschedule a new meeting with the provider and expect his intentional prior "no show" to have zero negative effect on the rescheduled new meeting?

Wonders never cease.   

[+ purplekow]

1 hour ago, leftbench23 said:

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in? We just accept it and move on.

I have been hiring a provider for many years.  He has cancelled out on me many many times.  I enjoy his company and the sex is great.  He is traveling to see me and while at first it would be distressing to get a last minute cancellation, now, I factor it into my hiring plans.  He is my first choice of activity for the day, but should he cancel, I have alternate plans already in place.  Now some may think they would not put up with this kind of scheduling, but it has come to be part of my expectations.  I would never cancel out with him without a very strong reason as I know the escort can not run his business that way.  I, however, can run my personal life with this kind of behavior from an escort who is worth the effort and if I could not, I could head to rent men and look for another.  

Edited February 5, 2023 by purplekow

[Lazarus]

All I want to know is what Diocese this guy is an “Archbishop” in. He needs to be excommunicated! 

[+ Pensant]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

If he is ok to accept another booking then I think you should pay a deposit when you book because I expect he will be reticent to commit again. 

Not only that, Venmo him the full three hours’ fee and apologize. I would never do that. It’s awful.

[+ azdr0710]

the OP last checked this thread less than an hour ago and has not responded to the many posts made since his last post......either this new forum member is totally BSing us with his (fabricated?) tale of woe or is utterly embarrassed by his actions......or?........

I say it's time to shut down this thread......all that can be said has been said........

[Jamie21]

41 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

Hypothetical:

The client mentioned that he would like another chance to meet the provider. 

If that were to happen (and I seriously doubt it will), the provider, by nature, would justifiably have hostility toward the client unless the client compensated the provider for the prior fee that was defaulted solely because of the client. 

Is the client so dense that he would think he could reschedule a new meeting with the provider and expect his intentional prior "no show" to have zero negative effect on the rescheduled new meeting?

Wonders never cease.   

Unfortunately some clients think that sex workers are just doing it for fun in a casual way, and so they don’t see cancelling at short notice as being disrespectful. 

It’s an attitude I come across occasionally. They assume I’m just hanging around waiting for their call. They think it’s no big deal if I’ve wasted time travelling or preparing, or lost other work because they made an appointment on a whim and have now changed their minds because something better has come along. It’s an incredibly selfish attitude.

Some don’t even bother to tell you they’re not coming, they just don’t show up. It upsets me because I really try to be professional and have high standards. 

Fortunately it’s usually possible to see this casual attitude when they make enquiries and so one can weed them out before they book. 99% of clients are great but there’s always a few who make life difficult. 

 

[Skip]

2 hours ago, leftbench23 said:

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in? We just accept it and move on.

They would get roasted just like Archbishop Newbie is. And remind me ARN not to plan dinner in NYC with you on a Friday night. 

[Archbishop]

Point taken… next time he’s in town, I’ll offer to prepay for that session if he’s interested. If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

[ThickCockScotsman]

I scheduled a well-known provider to a loft I had just moved into in a very expensive area of our city.  I got home early to get ready and could not unlock the door.  I was afraid the key would break off in the lock.  I was overcome with panic for a lot of reasons.  It was late at night and I decided to get a locksmith to fix it in the morning.  I cancelled.  If I was thinking I would have invited the provider to meet at the hotel where I ended up, but I cancelled.  He was rightfully pissed.  He never expressed any anger.  He never returned any communication after that.

[DWnyc]

Regardless of this is a genuine post / question - some thoughts promoted by it and the discussion:

- it’s not uncommon for clients to blur the lines of provider meetings with personal interaction - making a booked session like an online hookup or even something more serious- forgetting that it’s ultimately a business transaction and often the provider’s main / only source of income. Similar issues as raised elsewhere where a great session (for the client) is misinterpreted as friendship or even more. Partly given the secret nature of these transactions, and also because (for the client) the sessions can become very personal, physically and emotionally. So the OP (assuming we have the full story or that he’s real) could have thought this is how it would be if it was a social appointment (again a bit odd - just be late and apologize)

- some have mentioned how providers also cancel / are late or act up in other ways. Doesn’t justify the way the OP says he behaved - but I’ve generally found providers to operate (by my standards) far less than professionally - in politeness, reactions when things go wrong, transparency about expected costs, accuracy on services provided etc. I’ve seen the best behaved (in prior engagement or based on other reviews) turn into nasty and even scary people based on one issue not going as they want. Don’t know the full story or the OP’s prior experience with providers but he could have been bitten before and might have been scared off. Much as some things are obvious (ie he shouldn’t have canceled without compensation or showed up and eaten his most time) there are no strict rules in this business. He may have been scared of the wrath being unleashed for being late. He may be genuinely socially awkward / inexperienced in dealing with service providers of any sort who bill by the hour or people in general 

- one last point, much as providers love to highlight that they are in so much demand, client fees are paltry etc the reality for most is likely that they are struggling month to month and maybe budget according to projected income on daily / weekly bookings. I’ve received texts in the middle of the night from providers I’ve politely declined earlier after not being happy about something during text exchanges to gather info that go something like “was it the fee? I can bring that down to X if you come tonight …” and so forth. When you see a provider become terse because you won’t book a multi hour session or extend after your one hour finishes and - it may be more about their stress on how to pay their rent than being bad or scary people. Remembering this - often hard given the self image, tone etc that many providers like to project, perhaps as self defense - hopefully pushes clients to show a little more grace and certainly to make sure they account for their own mistakes that have financial implications.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[misterhumphries]

8 hours ago, Archbishop said:

Hello... new to the Forum, and I have a dilemma. Recently I had my second session scheduled with a provider, a longer three hour session compared to our first one hour session, but traffic was going to have me arrive at his hotel 15 minutes after our start time. So right before what would have been our start time, I cancelled the session out of respect for the provider's time and told him I would reschedule with him next time he is in town. I thought I was doing the right thing by cancelling and giving his time back to him, but he got so irate and belligerent with me via text saying he turned down other appointments and such. I cancelled as soon as I could so he could do fill our time slot. If the provider received other offers, he could have taken them over mind and I would have understood.

I really liked our first session together and would like to schedule again, but based on my experience this time, I am hesitant to book again. What would you all do?

I would have sent a text that I 'd be a bit late but that I would be there. To respect his time, you could have cut the 15 minutes from the total session time. But to call last minute and CANCEL the entire session? Bad form. I'm not surprised the escort was put out. It's not a formal job interview, so it's understandable if you'll be a bit late; it's preferable than cancelling as you did.

[+ azdr0710]

21 minutes ago, Archbishop said:

Point taken… there are plenty of fish in the sea!

your sense of responsibility in this episode overwhelms me.......I'm somewhat embarrassed to be a client right now........

[+ Lucky]

Well, if the OP really is an archbishop, he would have a sense of entitlement. I am hoping that it's just a name he chose.

[coriolis888]

1 hour ago, Archbishop said:

Point taken… next time he’s in town, I’ll offer to prepay for that session if he’s interested. If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

Don't you think that morally, you owe him some money for cancelling a long session at the last minute?

If you do not think you owe him anything, I must say I vigorously disagree with you.  

Your comment about "plenty of fish in the sea" implies you have little to no regard for people. 

If you are really in the clergy, please let us know so we will know who to avoid in the future.  

[BaronArtz]

The escort, as he should, probably put your name and phone number on a 'Bad John' list.  You will have a hard time hiring anyone who consults that list.

Which is exactly what you deserve.

 

Edited February 6, 2023 by BaronArtz

[CuriousByNature]

In light of the OP's responses to comments on this thread, I'm inclined to think the scenario presented never happened.  I think someone needs to get back to the kitchen and stir the pot there.

[Luv2play]

7 hours ago, Thelatin said:

Are you asking if you should give him a second chance?  Or if we think he will give you a second chance?

Early is on time, on time is late, late is unforgivable.

With escorts, I never arrive early. I always try to be on time. It is not late, as you say. And if late, I always text and tell him the situation. Since I most always have them come to me I expect the same treatment.

[DWnyc]

Well if it is a fake post / attention seeking etc - we provided the gentleman behind it a couple of hours entertainment, and he didn’t have to pay anything!

[Luv2play]

1 hour ago, DWnyc said:

Regardless of this is a genuine post / question - some thoughts promoted by it and the discussion:

- it’s not uncommon for clients to blur the lines of provider meetings with personal interaction - making a booked session like an online hookup or even something more serious- forgetting that it’s ultimately a business transaction and often the provider’s main / only source of income. Similar issues as raised elsewhere where a great session (for the client) is misinterpreted as friendship or even more. Partly given the secret nature of these transactions, and also because (for the client) the sessions can become very personal, physically and emotionally. So the OP (assuming we have the full story or that he’s real) could have thought this is how it would be if it was a social appointment (again a bit odd - just be late and apologize)

- some have mentioned how providers also cancel / are late or act up in other ways. Doesn’t justify the way the OP says he behaved - but I’ve generally found providers to operate (by my standards) far less than professionally - in politeness, reactions when things go wrong, transparency about expected costs, accuracy on services provided etc. I’ve seen the best behaved (in prior engagement or based on other reviews) turn into nasty and even scary people based on one issue not going as they want. Don’t know the full story or the OP’s prior experience with providers but he could have been bitten before and might have been scared off. Much as some things are obvious (ie he shouldn’t have canceled without compensation or showed up and eaten his most time) there are no strict rules in this business. He may have been scared of the wrath being unleashed for being late. He may be genuinely socially awkward / inexperienced in dealing with service providers of any sort who bill by the hour or people in general 

- one last point, much as providers love to highlight that they are in so much demand, client fees are paltry etc the reality for most is likely that they are struggling month to month and maybe budget according to projected income on daily / weekly bookings. I’ve received texts in the middle of the night from providers I’ve politely declined earlier after not being happy about something during text exchanges to gather info that go something like “was it the fee? I can bring that down to X if you come tonight …” and so forth. When you see a provider become terse because you won’t book a multi hour session or extend after your one hour finishes and - it may be more about their stress on how to pay their rent than being bad or scary people. Remembering this - often hard given the self image, tone etc that many providers like to project, perhaps as self defense - hopefully pushes clients to show a little more grace and certainly to make sure they account for their own mistakes that have financial implications.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have not found most of the  providers I have hired to do the various things you cite as unprofessional. Then again I don't often hire in the NY market where I assume you are by your moniker.

One eay to avoid problems is to have extensive discussions prior to setting up an appointment. To me the time taken to ensure we are both on tje same page with tespect to expectarions on both sides is well worth the effort.

Also they can check my record with RM to see that I hire a lot.

 

 

[DWnyc]

5 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

I have not found most of the  providers I have hired to do the various things you cite as unprofessional. Then again I don't often hire in the NY market where I assume you are by your moniker.

One eay to avoid problems is to have extensive discussions prior to setting up an appointment. To me the time taken to ensure we are both on tje same page with tespect to expectarions on both sides is well worth the effort.

Also they can check my record with RM to see that I hire a lot.

 

 

Then I would say you are lucky. I feel like one can discuss everything under the sun with a provider beforehand but if the reality is different, its a matter of how much that affects you and if you can resolve it.

I’m generally fine with outdated pictures / lying about their age, less fine on “I know I said I’d do that (in our discussion beforehand or on my profile) but I don’t really … is that ok?”

And if the provider is drunk / high / physically able to overpower you (and on some occasions has a roommate you didn’t expect to be there etc) that may affect your ability to solve the situation as you might at a restaurant or store. 

On balance the above and beyond from others has more than made up for this in terms of my view of providers as a group - but one should always be alert. And because I’ve sometimes been surprised at how a fantastic first experience was followed by some of this type of stuff, I don’t rely on reviews either (though they obviously help).

[56harrisond]

10 hours ago, Archbishop said:

If the provider received other offers, he could have taken them over mind and I would have understood.

How could the provider have known you were going to cancel at literally the last second and schedule other clients instead of you?

And had the provider double booked himself with you and someone else, and then cancelled your appointment at the last minute while you were traveling to his hotel, wouldn't you be irate at his ridiculous and unprofessional behavior? Why would this be okay with you?

Edited February 6, 2023 by 56harrisond
Grammar

[coriolis888]

58 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

we provided the gentleman behind it a couple of hours entertainment, and he didn’t have to pay anything!

Just like he did not have to pay the escort he last minute cancelled. 

Edited February 6, 2023 by coriolis888