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Second Chances?


Archbishop

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Hello... new to the Forum, and I have a dilemma. Recently I had my second session scheduled with a provider, a longer three hour session compared to our first one hour session, but traffic was going to have me arrive at his hotel 15 minutes after our start time. So right before what would have been our start time, I cancelled the session out of respect for the provider's time and told him I would reschedule with him next time he is in town. I thought I was doing the right thing by cancelling and giving his time back to him, but he got so irate and belligerent with me via text saying he turned down other appointments and such. I cancelled as soon as I could so he could do fill our time slot. If the provider received other offers, he could have taken them over mind and I would have understood.

I really liked our first session together and would like to schedule again, but based on my experience this time, I am hesitant to book again. What would you all do?

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Welcome to the forum. 

Hindsight is 20/20, of course, but the best plan would've been to not cancel and turn your appointment into 2:45 instead of 3:00. Cancelling a three-hour meet minutes before the start was not good and I understand the provider's anger. In fact, some here would pay the provider a cancel fee of some amount. 

You may want to try to contact the provider, apologize, offer some amount, and hope he'll meet you again.  

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You’re assuming he could schedule another session at the last minute. First, depending on location, time of day, etc. a provider doesn’t always have a bunch of offers that he can just pick from. Then there’s timing… you cancelled minutes before the session? Unless they are really close to the provider, don’t need to shower first, etc. that’s not enough time to line someone else up and get them there in all but rare cases. Third… a 3 hour session. Most sessions are an hour. Now you expect the client to be able to find someone for a 3 hour session with almost no notice?

Common sense says you let the provider know you’re stuck in traffic and will be 15 minutes late. Ask if starting and ending the session 15 minutes late is a problem. Most (good) providers aren’t stacking one appointment immediately after the first one, or making plans with friends right after. They need time between to get cleaned up, etc. If the later end time is a problem, ask if you can start 15 minutes late but end on time for the same price. 15 minutes is only about 8% of 3 hours, you’re not losing out much, and lesson learned to leave more time for traffic.  

Quite frankly, I’m not sure this is the entire story, since I can’t figure out who would 1.) wait until the last minute to cancel, and 2.) wouldn’t think to see if a late arrival was a problem before cancelling. I suspect there’s more to the story. 

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Yes ‘giving him his time back’ is kind of not the thing he’d want. That time has already gone and he’s probably spent time preparing and booking the hotel etc. All of that wasted. He certainly wouldn’t see it as having the time back! 

Last minute cancellations are very annoying indeed: it’s impossible to schedule anything else and you’ve already committed time and money (probably) to the session and you’re out of pocket if you didn’t take a deposit. I’m not surprised he was annoyed. 

You should have messaged him to say you’d be late, turned up as soon as possible, and of course paid him the full rate even though your session was shortened. Sometimes if a client is late and I can move the session I’ll shift it all back by 15m but that’s only if possible and for a regular. 

If he is ok to accept another booking then I think you should pay a deposit when you book because I expect he will be reticent to commit again. 
 

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1 hour ago, Archbishop said:

traffic was going to have me arrive at his hotel 15 minutes after our start time. So right before what would have been our start time, I cancelled the session out of respect for the provider's time ......I cancelled as soon as I could so he could do fill our time slot

Wow.

I mean the level of cluelessness here is astounding.

I can't imagine anyone not getting pissed at you

You're 15 minutes late and you cancelled "out of respect for him" ??

No you didn't. You Fucked up his schedule so you could get your full time slot.

Completely selfish move.

 

Edited by pubic_assistance
grammar
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22 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Wow.

I mean the level of cluelessness here is astounding.

I can't imagine anyone not getting pissed at you

You're 15 minutes late and you cancelled "out of respect for him" ??

No you didn't. You Fucked up his schedule so you could get your full time slot.

Completely selfish move.

 

So true! Imagine a 3-hour appointment with a lawyer, a doctor, a plumber…just about anyone. The thought that cancelling would allow them to immediately fill the slot with another paying patient, client or customer is thoughtless and naive at best. 

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I think it might be important to remember that while you were giving back the provider's time, you were also taking away from the provider's income.  If having free time at that moment was critical for the provider, he would not have scheduled to meet you then.  The donation that is made is for the provider's time, and in this case he received nothing, even though he blocked off that time to meet with you.  Things happen and people don't always make the wisest choices in the moment, but perhaps this can be explained to him and an offer can be made to at least partially cover the loss to him - assuming your foremost intention is to make things right :)

 

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7 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

Are you asking if you should give him a second chance?  Or if we think he will give you a second chance?

Early is on time, on time is late, late is unforgivable.

If I should give him a second chance based on how he reacted... I agree late in unforgivable which is why I cancelled when I did. 

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1 minute ago, Archbishop said:

I was not having second thoughts. I'd like to give the provider another chance next time he in town, but I was nothing but respectful and calm in our conversations. 

I doubt he would give YOU a second chance, after you disrespected his time and schedule, and you continue to turn a blind eye to how selfish you are being.

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1 minute ago, Archbishop said:

I was not having second thoughts. I'd like to give the provider another chance next time he in town, but I was nothing but respectful and calm in our conversations. 

Give the provider another chance??!!  No, he's the one who decides whether to give YOU another chance!  You screwed up his schedule and rudely cancelled last minute. You owe him an apology, a late cancel fee, and some humble pie. 

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"Escorting" is a business, and, as with any business, the dictum "time is money" applies. As a matter of courtesy, a twelve hour notice of cancellation as a minimum window of time should be given to the provider.  Certainly, any notice of cancellation given less than an hour demands payment of the provider for his lost time. 

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I am almost always 15 minutes late for casual encounters but I am almost always on time for important encounters and if I am going to be late, I call, apologize for any inconvenience and let he other party decide if we should meet or reschedule.  It seems to me, for a 3 hour appointment, at least some of that time would have been non sexual in nature.  Hello chit chat.  Wow that was amazing post orgasmic collapse.  Got to do this again while getting dressed.  We REALLY need to do this again at the door.  Last kiss upon exit.  You could have easily cut all that out, or some of that out, and did a slam, bam  fuck for 2 hours and 45 minutes and been out the door on time.  

Sorry to say that due to either inexperience or inconsideration you wound up fucking the escort without ever taking your cock out of your pants.  As such, it seems unlikely that he will be offering you a second chance and if he does, you should spend the first 15 minutes apologizing for your error in judgement.

Edited by purplekow
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My experience with this hobby is that lateness is almost expected on both sides. As a client, I definitely have had to wait many minutes, even hours for a late provider. And regretfully there have been times, I've been slightly late as well. Once in NYC, I got on the wrong train and ended up being nearly an hour late even though I left an hour early.

The main thing is communication on both sides. Yes, you're in the wrong here because you wasted his time and cost him money by cancelling for only being 15 minutes late. From what I know about escorts, it can be very hit and miss. Your three-hour session could have been his main source of income for the whole week. So he is right to be pissed at your cancellation. 

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1 hour ago, Archbishop said:

I was not having second thoughts. I'd like to give the provider another chance next time he in town, but I was nothing but respectful and calm in our conversations. 

Your tone isn't the issue. You booked a three-hour session with someone and canceled with very little notice. No one who is respectful of providers will give you an out for what is egregious behavior. 

We saw a provider for a two-hour session earlier this week. He has a day job and wanted to stop home to shower before he came over. He texted when he was leaving, but the cab driver messed up the address and was about 20 minutes late, which he let us know. Once he arrived, we all had a great time, and he stayed the full two hours. Had we been running late, which we have, we could not have expected that, but with providers we know, we've also gotten the full time when their schedule permits. 

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Guest leftbench23

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in? We just accept it and move on.

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1 minute ago, leftbench23 said:

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in?

What about it ?
We are talking about a provider who booked THREE HOURS of his schedule with the expectation of being paid for those three hours that day.  A cancellation right before a three hour appointment, will very likely prevent this young man from having any income that day.

A provider cancelling on a client generally doesn't cost them anything unless they've booked a hotel especially for the occasion.

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12 minutes ago, leftbench23 said:

But what about the times providers cancel on the client last minute for falling asleep, going to the gym, or canceling your appointment to fit a regular in? We just accept it and move on.

And then the question would be, “will the client give him a second chance?” And in the many times this is discussed here, frequently the answer is “no.” 
 

The provider is probably also irritated with being gaslit, being told the cancellation was “out of respect” for him. 🙄

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