What's your story when you offered a non-provider to be a provider?

[misterhumphries]

On 1/31/2023 at 8:05 AM, CuriousByNature said:

Call me what you will, but some of the examples cited in this thread are really sad and seem to take advantage of people's desperation.  😔.  (Yes, I fully expect a bunch of 'eye-roll' and 'verbose' emojis)

I agree with you. Why bother with straight men or the undecided? There is no shortage of gay men or men who voluntarily offer their services for cash. I believe sexual dealing with a straight man is a disaster waiting to happen. When I see a man advertising on rentmen who declares he's straight, my brain yells "NEXT!!"

[Monarchy79]

2 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

None of this is due to human nature but the gross version of neoliberal capitalism we live under. 

 

Neoliberal capitalism is just a symptom.

Human nature is the disease. 

People will ALWAYS find a way to exploit others for their benefit. 

The history of human civilization has proven this. 
 

 

[Monarchy79]

3 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

I agree that putting one's own needs/wants first is part of human nature, generally speaking.  But must we give in to that nature when the result is potential harm to others?  🤷‍♂️

I’m in full agreement with you. I’m just humored at how people seem to be shocked that such behavior exists. 

[tenderloin]

5 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Honestly, there's a lot o really predatory behavior in this thread. None of this is due to human nature but the gross version of neoliberal capitalism we live under. 

People with greater financial means pressuring poor people into performing any kind of labor is exploitation. This is the kind of behavior that LibsofTikTok and other anti-gay forces use to make us look bad. Why are you helping them? JFC 

What a scold.  I wouldn't "choose" to show up at my job if it wasn't for financial pressure LOL. And I have news for you: even if we gays were all in church 7 days a week feeding soup to the homeless those "anti-gay forces" would still twist things to make us look bad.  Don't be so naive. 

As long as a person is an adult and mentally competent, they are and should be free to enter into arrangements as they choose.  When I was young and first living in NY city, I regularly bounced the rent check for the cramped 1 bedroom apartment I shared with three roommates in a shitty neighborhood. My food budget kept me thin. At that point I could easily have rented myself out but chose not to. 

The guys I have "exploited" all have better phones, fancier watches, more expensive colognes, and more active social lives than I do.   The ones I have chosen NOT to exploit: Those who appeared to be on something, or mentally-unwell, or too close to the age line.  I can live with myself just fine.

 

[DWnyc]

I should add I’ve received offers a couple of times.

First, in my late teens from an affluent elderly widower in our town - my reaction was one of rage and disgust, and I now really regret this since I didn’t have the empathy for him I might have now - he wasn’t threatening and just trying to see if something was possible and I remember him tearing up when I reacted badly to his proposal.

The second time was in my late twenties from a married-with-kids senior colleague offering arrangements when he traveled for work - where my bigger worry was do I get fired if I turn him down - it seemed really awkward and confusing and I dealt with it by hiding.

Most recently from someone much younger than me (maybe mid 20s) who just feels lonely and inexperienced and terrified of “the scene”. I think I’ve finally got the hang of all this - am not into him at all, and I let him down very gently citing how his life will be so much better in the long run if he chooses another way to approach this ideally with someone closer to his age, or seek someone more “professional” (told him to look at RM and have offered advice he wants to go down that route).

I’m definitely on the naive side in these matters and I wonder if I’ve missed other situations including where I though people were hitting on me a bit too aggressively but were actually making a financial proposition. 

Given how exceedingly average I am (maybe I’m a nice guy and approachable if that has any relevance) I can see how the more obvious targets could have a flood of offers from those with the means and feeling the need. 

[CuriousByNature]

28 minutes ago, tenderloin said:

What a scold.  I wouldn't "choose" to show up at my job if it wasn't for financial pressure LOL. And I have news for you: even if we gays were all in church 7 days a week feeding soup to the homeless those "anti-gay forces" would still twist things to make us look bad.  Don't be so naive. 

As long as a person is an adult and mentally competent, they are and should be free to enter into arrangements as they choose.  When I was young and first living in NY city, I regularly bounced the rent check for the cramped 1 bedroom apartment I shared with three roommates in a shitty neighborhood. My food budget kept me thin. At that point I could easily have rented myself out but chose not to. 

The guys I have "exploited" all have better phones, fancier watches, more expensive colognes, and more active social lives than I do.   The ones I have chosen NOT to exploit: Those who appeared to be on something, or mentally-unwell, or too close to the age line.  I can live with myself just fine.

 

I don't think that everyone is being exploited, by any means.  But there are those who are knowingly or unknowingly exploited due to their desperate situations, and while everyone should have the freedom to make an informed choice, I think that freedom of choice also implies the need for proper discernment in order to protect those who may not feel that they have any choice other than to offer themselves up to another person's desires.  

Edited February 6, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[+ KensingtonHomo]

22 minutes ago, tenderloin said:

The guys I have "exploited" all have better phones, fancier watches, more expensive colognes, and more active social lives than I do. 

So you're not upset that I'm scolding you. You're upset that you never lived your fantasy of being a rent boy because you'd have nicer stuff? 

Yes, 95 percent of people are exploited to some extent under capitalism. But we're not talking about people who have chosen to be escorts. This thread is about people who are in a vulnerable position being exploited. It's predatory and immoral. 

[Marc in Calif]

Please be cautious about responding to the OP's question. He's been on these forums only a short time but seems to be compiling a whole bunch of information from hiring providers to graphic descriptions of provider services. 

On another thread, a member commented that "it sounds like someone is writing a book...."

Again, try to be cautious — unless you actually do want to see the specifics you wrote here eventually appear in print or online.

And even if the details aren't published, I'd think twice about satisfying a mostly silent voyeur's fetishes. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

Neoliberal capitalism is just a symptom.

Human nature is the disease. 

People will ALWAYS find a way to exploit others for their benefit. 

The history of human civilization has proven this. 
 

 

This is a rationalization. To the extent there is a "human nature" it is one of cooperation and community, which has allowed us to be the most powerful species on the planet. 

Your sense of history is truncated. Before agriculture, most humans lived in bands of hunter-gatherers, where cooperation was the primary factor in their survival. It's only once you get a surplus that SOME people take advantage of it to exploit others. And we also have a concurrent history of people resisting that exploitation. To this day, some tribes live this way without hierarchy or oppression. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 minute ago, Marc in Calif said:

Please be cautious about responding to the OP's question. He's been on these forums only a short time but seems to be compiling a whole bunch of information from hiring providers to graphic descriptions of provider services. 

On another thread, a member commented that "it sounds like someone is writing a book...."

Again, try to be cautious — unless you actually do want to see the specifics you wrote here eventually appear in print or online.

And even if the details aren't published, I'd think twice about satisfying a mostly silent voyeur's fetishes. 

oh really? I hadn't noticed that at all. Thanks for the catch. 

[Todd Jenkins]

6 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is the kind of behavior that LibsofTikTok and other anti-gay forces use to make us look bad.

Oh, FFS, this is NOT what LibsofTikTok does. This is asinine. 

[tenderloin]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

So you're not upset that I'm scolding you. You're upset that you never lived your fantasy of being a rent boy because you'd have nicer stuff? 

Yes, 95 percent of people are exploited to some extent under capitalism. But we're not talking about people who have chosen to be escorts. This thread is about people who are in a vulnerable position being exploited. It's predatory and immoral. 

LOL I am not upset. I am scoffing at your faux morality on a site explicitly dedicated to the discussion of the oldest profession.  And no, this thread is not "about people who are in a vulnerable position being exploited." You made that up.  It's about non-providers being tempted to provide.  

Why don't you go off and play church lady somewhere else? Or, to put it another way, what are you doing on a site dedicated to this particular line of commerce? 

[jeezifonly]

Dear Penthouse Forum, 

I still can’t believe what happened last weekend…

😂

[+ Coolwave35]

32 minutes ago, tenderloin said:

LOL I am not upset. I am scoffing at your faux morality on a site explicitly dedicated to the discussion of the oldest profession.  And no, this thread is not "about people who are in a vulnerable position being exploited." You made that up.  It's about non-providers being tempted to provide.  

Yup! 

[+ keroscenefire]

8 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

People with greater financial means pressuring poor people into performing any kind of labor is exploitation. This is the kind of behavior that LibsofTikTok and other anti-gay forces use to make us look bad. Why are you helping them? JFC 

I agree that it could be exploitation but it doesn't have to be exploitation. By definition, "the action of treating someone unfairly in order to benefit from their work." To me, it's really about whether or not your treating someone unfairly. 

If you can create a situation where there is mutual and more or less equal benefit on both sides, than that isn't exploitation in my opinion. As long as you are respecting consent and boundaries. But yes it would be exploitive if you are being overly aggressive, or lying to them to get what you want, or trying to get a lot from someone because they are vulnerable.

T=

[studchaser]

Have done it with straight men who i know were in low wage jobs or had pressing life circumstances. Very high success rates but then i can read the room and ppl well.

[NyGold]

11 minutes ago, studchaser said:

Have done it with straight men who i know were in low wage jobs or had pressing life circumstances. Very high success rates but then i can read the room and ppl well.

How does that even happen? Do they know what to do and if so how?

[Guest]

This thread went WAY off the original topic lol.  But I think it's a great question both as someone looking to hire and one looking to be a provider.  I've had very little luck on the apps and sniffies from both sides.  At what point do you just put it out there with someone?  I'm shocked at how prudish most men are these days.  It seems like back in the 80's/90's it was more acceptable.  What ever happen to street hustlers and hustler bars?

[big-n-tall]

12 hours ago, Woofiecmh said:

What ever happen to street hustlers and hustler bars?

The internet.

[BonVivant]

On 2/6/2023 at 11:52 AM, Marc in Calif said:

Please be cautious about responding to the OP's question. He's been on these forums only a short time but seems to be compiling a whole bunch of information from hiring providers to graphic descriptions of provider services. 

On another thread, a member commented that "it sounds like someone is writing a book...."

Again, try to be cautious — unless you actually do want to see the specifics you wrote here eventually appear in print or online.

And even if the details aren't published, I'd think twice about satisfying a mostly silent voyeur's fetishes. 

Could also be law enforcement gathering data and evidence? I wonder if they are not already on here. Lots of overseas guys getting turned around at the border. Be careful about sharing too much? 🤷🏽‍♂️🧐🤔. Perhaps we need to ban such open ended questions? Maybe focus on why we are all here?

[+ Coolwave35]

On 2/6/2023 at 2:52 PM, Marc in Calif said:

Please be cautious about responding to the OP's question. He's been on these forums only a short time 

Are you sure he hasn’t been here 8 years? 

[INQUIRER1]

I offered a guy on Grindr. He agreed. We partook and I felt an enormous sense of shame and humiliation afterwards. I don't know why.

[pubic_assistance]

On 2/6/2023 at 2:16 PM, DWnyc said:

Given how exceedingly average I am (maybe I’m a nice guy and approachable if that has any relevance) I can see how the more obvious targets could have a flood of offers from those with the means and feeling the need. 

Being a genuinely nice person isn't average at all. Looks fade but a truly good person remains as such. 

[studchaser]

On 2/6/2023 at 9:23 AM, misterhumphries said:

I agree with you. Why bother with straight men or the undecided? There is no shortage of gay men or men who voluntarily offer their services for cash. I believe sexual dealing with a straight man is a disaster waiting to happen. When I see a man advertising on rentmen who declares he's straight, my brain yells "NEXT!!"

Going to say something controversial.Some gay men ONLY deal with straight men.t

There are alot of gay providers who know this and try to take advantage by misrepresenting themselves. A world renowned chef is likely to buy brand specific ingredients for most of their dishes they make, similarly there is a nuance to straight men I find is just rarely duplicated. Whether its the dumb jock type like Rob Gronkowski or the hypermasculine bad boy type. 

When gay men are inquiring with other gay men they need to make sure the other is masculine. You wouldnt go to a sports bar and need to ask that question or anywhere where straight men are known to congregate. 

For some the imprinting of their earlier years never goes away. The prize is the captain of the football team or wrestlibg team. Or the badass who hops on their motorcycle after a bar fight. There needs to be something else than it just being a good looking guy. For those not afflicted with that butden they have it easy they can just get aroused by alot more offerings and the others unfortunately just can't 

[Todd Jenkins]

7 hours ago, studchaser said:

Going to say something controversial.Some gay men ONLY deal with straight men.t

There are alot of gay providers who know this and try to take advantage by misrepresenting themselves. A world renowned chef is likely to buy brand specific ingredients for most of their dishes they make, similarly there is a nuance to straight men I find is just rarely duplicated. Whether its the dumb jock type like Rob Gronkowski or the hypermasculine bad boy type. 

When gay men are inquiring with other gay men they need to make sure the other is masculine. You wouldnt go to a sports bar and need to ask that question or anywhere where straight men are known to congregate. 

For some the imprinting of their earlier years never goes away. The prize is the captain of the football team or wrestlibg team. Or the badass who hops on their motorcycle after a bar fight. There needs to be something else than it just being a good looking guy. For those not afflicted with that butden they have it easy they can just get aroused by alot more offerings and the others unfortunately just can't 

I don't find this controversial at all. In fact, it makes COMPLETE SENSE!!!!