Jamie21

That’s different though. The provider hasn’t asked for it. I’m saying the provider specifically asking for a picture is a red flag to the client. They should beware of the provider that only wants to see ‘hot’ clients because it’s a potential sign he’s not really interested in his clients satisfaction. The only reason I might need to know a client’s physical description is if they’re too big for the massage table or if they have a disability. Most clients offer those things up without me asking. Otherwise I find out when they turn up. I’ve never met a guy who has a pic of his ‘frontal areas’ that under represents his size! I agree though…if I know he’s got big equipment and wants to top me I’ll be extra well prepared 🤪

The photo request is a red flag. Regardless of the deposit issue you were right to disengage when he asked for a photo. He shouldn’t need a photo.

I’ve done this. The client asked me to set it up for him. It was one element of the session rather than being the sole aim of the session. He just wanted to experience a few different scenarios one of which was to be in the middle. Once I knew the kind of session he wanted I knew who to ask to join me for it (it was a guy I’ve worked with before who I know has great chemistry etc). I think you should find a provider you know (maybe hire him on his own first), make sure you’re comfortable with him and then explain what you want and ask him to set it up. He’ll find the right guy for you. Also, it’s best to have a few things that you want to try so that the sandwich isn’t the only objective of the session (it takes the pressure off). Probably also best to find two guys who are both vers, because they can swap roles which makes it more interesting for you.

You can ask for it, you can set yourself up in expectation of it, you can respond appropriately when you don’t get it, all this I agree with and do myself, but I think you can’t command it. That’s like standing at the sea shore and commanding the tide to turn, and being frustrated when it doesn’t. I argue that it’s best to accept that some people will be flaky etc and despite all your efforts they’ll still be like that and they’ll still try it on with you. It’s futile to expect everyone to change. This is human nature, alongside the good there’s the bad. The good cannot exist without the bad. So I reconcile myself to it because it’s essential for one’s well being in this business.

It’s very rare that I can see a client at short notice. I usually need at least a day’s notice because I’m busy with stuff (other work, clients, life admin, social etc). I’m sure that some clients think I’m sitting around all day waiting for someone to book me…and they seem surprised when they message to ask if I’m free later, or even now. I have clients who book months in advance sometimes. These tend to be people visiting London so they book well ahead. Usually though most clients tend to book with a few days notice and that works fine.

They’re probably getting enough business by just being available. No need to do much in the way of customer service. You can assume that if that’s their attitude to the enquiry process their attitude to the massage will be equally diffident. If that’s the case you saved yourself some money and time. Hire guys who answer your questions and who have a professional advert that provides the necessary information.

Clients don’t kiss too. I saw a client recently who described himself as ‘basically straight but exploring with guys’ before his massage. I asked him before we started if there was anywhere I shouldn’t go, or was he happy for me to read his reactions and go with the flow. He was ok with the go with the flow option so that’s what I did. He didn’t touch me atall and lay still through most of the session. Sometimes with inexperienced ‘straight’ guys they get anxious when I go near their bum but he was fine with me touching, and even rimming. I lubed him up and he was ok with finger prostate massage too. When he turned over he was hard and clearly enjoying it but he remained totally impassive and silent. I kissed his nipples to get a reaction and there was nothing. So I thought I’d try a kiss. Sometimes it takes that and then all of a sudden the guys inhibition goes and he relaxes. I don’t just go and kiss him though, I just whisper into his ear ‘do you like to kiss?’. Then he can turn his head and we kiss. But this guy replies to my kiss suggestion with ‘only with females’….so that was that!

I agree. You can tell a lot by the medium someone chooses to contact you by. My older clients phone me to book. They never initiate the booking with a text but will respond to my confirmation text. They never use email or messenger apps to contact me. Younger / Millennial clients seem to use WhatsApp or Telegram. Those kind of messaging apps. Gen X tend to email or text. Sometimes they message me via Twitter DM. Of all the methods I prefer it to be via text or WhatsApp because I can then respond discreetly and at the appropriate time. It’s not always possible to answer a phone call and if I’m in company or in public it’s not easy to discuss services over the phone. However if I’m somewhere discreet then a phone call is best if the client has a lot of questions.

Full service massage, if by full service you mean penetrative sex is include, is escort rate work. It’s priced higher than sensual massage. The actual rate though depends on the market you’re in, which you haven’t mentioned.

I don’t mind where I am on the bed because it really depends how many others are on the bed with me doesn’t it?

This is a coincidence. Just yesterday a client handed me a wad of notes after the massage and I didn’t count it. I never do unless the client says please count. Most of my clients pay by card so it’s impossible to short. This guy was a client I’d seen a couple of times previously (although over 2 years since his last visit). After he’d left I got in the shower then started to tidy up after the massage. As I was getting dressed I saw the money and decided to put it in my wallet but as I did so it felt light so I counted and it’s £100 short. I knew it was a mistake because he’d never done anything like it before and he’d clearly enjoyed the session, so I messaged him and he immediately responded to say he was coming back. After about 10 minutes he turned up and settled the balance without any problem. Had it been a new client I’d have done the same, but perhaps not if the money was just £20 short. But £100 short is so obviously an error I’d always message them to let them know. If they’d shorted me on purpose then they’d either say so or ignore me. Can’t see the point in blocking because if they’d not enjoyed it they wouldn’t be coming back. Also if the client did try to book again in future I could remind them of the money they owe. I’m glad you @questbearwere able to fix the mistake. You’re a great client!

That’s an interesting one!! Not done that before. I’ve started with a workout with client at the hotel gym. Get sweaty then go back to the room and….get sweaty 😂. A jog is a nice idea.

I’ve done sessions ranging from an hour to five hours. Always agreed the time duration in advance. I ask what the client wants from the session, which always includes some form of massage. Beyond that it’s really up to them to ask or they leave it to me to choreograph the session. I include things like chat, watch some porn together, make out etc, shower, undress at start, eating (food 😉 ), cuddling, if it’s in a sauna then cruising around and picking up guys for fun, or just me accompanying the client. Sometimes it includes doing some training (work out) too. All sorts of things can happen. If the client is satisfied and wants to stop earlier than planned then the fee is as originally agreed. Otherwise I’ll always make sure that the whole session is completed.

It’s a common misunderstanding. If you see a guy calling himself a masseuse then he’s probably not very good. Don’t hire.

It’s not an excuse, they shouldn’t ghost but some do, and it’s because they’re paying (or would be paying). Customers feel like they can call the shots.

I’ve a client who is a side. In his case it literally is that he likes laying alongside and cuddling. Some hand work on his cock but that’s it, no sucking, nothing internal. He likes watching me have sex with other guys, but doesn’t want to participate. I think there can be all sorts of reasons for this. Perhaps it’s a fear of catching something, or it’s some past trauma or bad experience of being penetrated. Some guys are very small so it’s difficult for them to top or to get pleasure from it. Sometimes it’s just a fear of things being ‘dirty’. Religious issues or social conditioning can also make some guys rule out penetrative sex. Maybe it’s not gay if they don’t penetrate. All sorts of reasons exist. With my client we don’t explore why, we just accept it and enjoy the time because it does help you to find other ways to be intimate.

Happy ending is the client reaches climax. Most clients have that minimum expectation of a sensual massage. A small number of my clients don’t expect that but 99% want it. But they also want a great massage. You have to provide both. It’s no good doing a poor massage and then a hand job, nor is it good doing a great massage but not touching his cock! I’m fine to provide the happy ending in any way they like whether that’s hand job or bj or body contact etc. Most clients want to interact with me. I usually say they’re welcome to interact with me as much or as little as they like and see what their expectations are. Usually that has been agreed at the booking stage anyway. Then it’s up to them. Some will suck me, some want to do more. I think it’s important to be clear about what’s ok and what isn’t included and let them do whatever they like within those parameters.

That’s it. And I always send a confirmation message the day before the client’s meeting because people tend to forget or change their mind.

Maybe some do, probably most don’t. I still think they’re just enquiries until the moment they’re in front of you. What goes on in their mind and in their world is nothing you can control. All you can do is control how you think about it.

I think maybe you’re investing too much hope in what are mostly just enquiries? I get lots of people asking about availability etc, even guys who book but then change their minds on the day. It’s annoying but normal for people to simply go quiet when I reply with rates or availability. Therefore I simply don’t build up any expectations of a booking or even of a client actually turning up until I open the door to them in person. Anything before them standing in front of me is just a ‘maybe’. and my expectations are zero. Of all the enquiries I get only around 50% turn into a real session. The other 50% are window shoppers, the perennial undecided, the hopelessly disorganised and the ones who get off on the thought of a session but who can’t cope with the reality. I think this is the milk that one has to accept if one wants the cream. So I accept the milk and enjoy the cream.

I hate to be asked for a discount. It makes the session (if it happens) awkward. I have a simple rule, no discounts, ever…especially if my client asks for one. So the answer is always ‘no’. The rate is advertised, so I think if you don’t want to pay it please don’t approach me. Some might see that as inflexible but I think in this business you need really strict boundaries. For regulars I’ll go over on time (if possible) but never discount on my rate.

This is an interesting point. I agree a table massage is better but I don’t require clients to have it on the table. Often if I do an out call in London either the client’s hotel room isn’t big enough or it’s not possible for me to get my table there (as in there’s nowhere to park). So I’m fine to use the bed if the client is because otherwise he’d not be able to go ahead (assuming he can’t make my studio). I agree that a bed massage is more likely to develop into an escort style session than if a table is used, but I think that’s up to me to manage.

I love it when flakes reach out again, sometimes years later. They’ve forgotten but I haven’t (yes like @Vin_Marco I also keep the records!). All the same red flag signals are there in the message too…do they never change? I string along the chat for a bit if I’m bored, and just in case they are genuine. Then when and if it gets to confirming a booking I say “when you last booked you didn’t turn up / you messaged last minute saying you couldn’t make it etc so on this occasion I need full payment in advance please”. At that point they usually either go quiet, or come up with some reason to say they aren’t quite ready to book but they ‘definitely intend to’. Then I don’t hear from them for another year or so until they come across my profile again… I know the signs of a flake, they’re so obvious. Most of them never get to actually book because I’ve screened them out. If they do book a session I always do a check in with them 24 hours before the sessions and if they don’t confirm at that point it’s cancelled and I don’t make any commitments for it. I don’t do last minute bookings unless I’m already at the venue and it’s immediately following another client. If they don’t turn up then I’ve lost nothing. Last minute late evening bookers are usually flaky. For my modus operandi a deposit is not necessary. I don’t travel out of my home city, out calls are at the client’s hotel or home, and for in calls if the client doesn’t show up I don’t incur cost. I do agree to front up cost (for a few clients I pay for the hotel or venue) for trusted regulars and I just include the costs in my rate. Here’s the crux of it: I think those ‘clients’ who think all sex work is somehow low rent and done by people who are desperate are the ones who are most likely to flake. If you appear like this in how you run your business then they’ll definitely try to take advantage of you. However if you present and take a professional approach to the work (which in my view it 100% deserves) then you will attract respectable clients who will be reliable. Those clients are the best and they become regular. Run things professionally, have a consistent business model (including deposits if necessary), communicate properly and business like, have clear pricing and policies about what you do, be on time. All these things tell the client that they’re dealing with someone reliable and it makes you much less likely to be treated badly. You’re doing a job most people simply can’t do, so know your value and don’t let anyone disrespect that.

Best option is to ask for what you want: fun, dinner, movie, more fun etc from x time to y time and ask his rate. He’ll give you an all in rate, he won’t break it down by segment. If the cost is too high for you then shorten the session.

I’ll give you my opinion on this once you send me a donation (details below).