Jamie21

Most clients ask me straight up. My advertising is also pretty clear about what’s included. Usually they say things like ‘how far do you go?’ or ‘is sex included?’ but of course this is possible in the UK because it’s not illegal to do sex work here. I guess those in the US might be more reticent to ask so directly. Sometimes those who haven’t seen my advertising will ask about ‘extras’ in a very awkward way…such as ‘tell me about the massage’ or ‘how does it work?’. This is more difficult to answer briefly, so I usually just say ‘most things are included except full sex which only happens if it feels right for both of us’. If you’re hiring a licensed massage therapist who only does therapeutic massage then don’t ask about extras. That would be disrespectful. But if he offers sensual or erotic then you should ask as clearly as you are comfortable with given the legal position and your own preference.

That’s two different areas. In UK terms those places aren’t close to each other. You might get London based guys prepared to go to Windsor but it’s less likely you’ll get them to go to the Cotswolds (they’ll charge more to travel there).

Always best to ask them if you have a definite preference. I describe my role as vers top. It’s because I usually top. It’s assumed I top because I’m hung (that assumption is a whole different subject!) but I’m happy to bottom if asked.

I wasn’t complaining about the scheduling issues. I turn down business and it’s fine, that’s not my problem. My complaint was the enquiry that doesn’t end with either of ‘I’m booking’ or ‘thanks but no thanks’. You’re just left hanging. Thats unacceptable. Sometimes those guys ask again months later…guess what. I ignore them.

Every opinion matters. But only mine is right of course.

Yes that’s the solution. This week I’ve said no to 4 clients who wanted fairly short notice bookings because I wasn’t able (or in one case inclined) to meet them. One guy asks for a short notice meeting every few weeks and every time I decline. It’s like a game. However this week 3 clients have messaged to ask my availability and I’ve replied with a positive answer to all of them. All of them have then gone quiet - no reply. No ‘thanks but my plans changed’ or ‘I’d like to book’ or anything. They just ignored me. This is why guys like @JB_Studio38get irritated. There’s a significant enough number of ‘clients’ who simply view providers as not really deserving of respect or consideration. It’s what happens in this industry and I find it unacceptable. Those guys behave badly and it needs to be called out. There’s no excuse for it. And before anyone says providers behave badly yes they do and that’s also unacceptable. What I’m talking about is clients because that’s my experience.

Personally I don’t follow up with my clients because I want to respect their privacy. Some are seeing me on the down low and I’d never want to cause them a problem by following up after their session. If they send a message after with any kind of feedback then I’ll reply of course but I won’t do it unsolicited. I try to entice them back by giving a great service rather than spamming them. If they really want to come back then they’ll message me.

It is also very hard to change yourself though! But easier than changing the world. I still want to fix things I don’t like in the world of course, but now I catch myself before I charge into the fray and I let it flow around me. Their problem not mine.

I’ve asked for deposits twice. In 8 years of working and many many clients (4 figures). In my early years I had a few out calls that were wild goose chases. The kind where the client is all keen etc until you reach their place and then they ‘disappear’. Now I’m wiser and I can see the red flags and avoid these time wasters. Both occasions I asked for a deposit were 4 hands sessions where the other provider was travelling and I wasn’t confident the client was legitimate (but I was sufficiently confident to accept the booking). I can accept the time wasted if my judgement was wrong but I’d feel really bad to get the other provider into a flaky client situation, hence I asked for the deposit. Both times the client paid the deposit no trouble, and turned up, so all was good. Like @josh282282says, I just factor the cost of the occasional flake into my pricing and I do as much as possible to mitigate against the time wasters. It’s just sensible good practice to do this. It’s easier to adjust yourself to the world than it is to rail against the world because it won’t behave as you want it to.

I sense you haven’t been on here long? 🫣 I agree with you on flaky clients. Many of the dilettante types are just getting off on the enquiry. Honestly the number of ‘hey are you free today / tomorrow etc’ to whom I respond but who then simply go quiet is astounding. What do they do?… Get bored? Lose their phone? Forget they asked?. Why ask me, get a reply and then ignore it? I’ll never understand that. Or the ones that message with ‘hey’ and then silence….what’s that about? Trying to see if I’m real? Same day requests are annoying if I can’t do them because it feels like income foregone but I’d rather they ask me because sometimes it works. This is a service business, you do need to be a bit flexible to clients requirements, within what’s reasonable for you. If you want the predictability of a 9 to 5 job….go and do a 9 to 5 job. I certainly wouldn’t do that! I love the variety of the job. I don’t see many scams, it’s mostly impossibly pretty females sending me direct messages on X. If only they looked at my X they’d see its full of gay porn. They’d get more chance of me falling for it if they send me some hot topless guy asking about a collab. That I’d probably reply to 😂

I do massage on the bed (especially if the clients room is too small to fit my table). Even a single bed is ok. Personally I prefer to give massage on a table because the bed is too soft and not ideal for a good massage but needs must. As for hotels…they don’t care. I’ve seen clients in some of the top London hotels, both with and without my table. Often the client meets me in the lobby because sometimes you need a key to use the lifts. Otherwise they just give me their room number and I meet them in the room. It’s all agreed beforehand.

Unfortunately a lot of these unprofessional providers live chaotic or on the edge of chaotic lifestyles. They’ll manage to show up for you a couple of times and it’ll be fun but eventually they’ll let you down because ‘they have to’. They didn’t mean it (they rationalise to themselves), their need is more important than yours (they tell themselves) and they definitely maybe mean to reimburse you (they tell you) but somehow it never happens and time moves on. Their life becomes more chaotic and they forget. The red flags for these guys are always there: irregular replies, indications of drug use, unpredictable behaviour etc but they look hot and are enticing so you overlook it all and get drawn in. Hire professional guys, it’s much better for your sanity and your bank balance…

Yes and the model has more to lose by having their IG banned or suspended so they’ll be very careful about even responding to requests to meet. I direct all such enquiries to my linktree which has info on how to contact me for discussions like that. OF is the same, and one definitely doesn’t want to engage in any kind of meet up discussion on there. Unfortunately naive clients do sometimes send such messages and I guess they assume the answer is a ‘no’ when they get a bland or no reply when the reality is they just don’t understand how to play the game….

Mainly the aesthetic. They have to be longish mid way between ankle and knee, the right colour and enhance the calves. I’ve got large calves which the socks enhance. It’s all about the details 😂

Don’t DM on instagram. Especially don’t mention paid meetings or anything similar on there. Instagram will ban suspend or ban the model’s account if they discuss such a thing on there. You’d need to move the discussion off instagram if you wanted to discuss hiring him. Similarly on Onlyfans: they will ban or suspend any creator discussing meets. I get guys messaging me on both my IG and OF about meeting and it’s difficult to respond to them directly. Best to contact guys for meets via their X / Twitter (they don’t care!) or via his contact number which you’ll find with a bit of simple research if he’s open for business.

What clients don’t realise when talking about ‘market rate’ is that the provider sets his rate based on how much work he wants. I could do more work if I reduced my price but hey, I don’t fancy working that much so my price reflects that. There’s fewer guys willing to pay what I charge (which actually is probably around market rate now I guess, for central London) but that level of demand suits me. Plus I avoid the low rent clients at the cheaper end of the market. I get a few clients saying ‘it’s above my budget’ or asking for ‘hot guy discounts’ such as the I’m a virgin / poor student / I’m straight but gay guys love me’ types but those are just chancing their luck. Plus there’s the ‘give me a first time discount because I’ll be a regular’ brigade who you’ll never see again if you do accede to their request. No doubt about it the best clients are those who research you, see the rate and simply message to make a booking. No discount requests, no pictures (from them), no endless chat. Those clients get looked after because they’re repeat business. Discount clients you never see again.

I do that! But they have to be sports socks.

When you do sex as work (whether that’s escorting/massage or porn) it can become difficult to cum. So often you’re trying not to cum because ‘it’s not time yet for the film or the client …you get used to not cumming. In addition sex becomes so normal and commonplace that you become desensitised to some extent. I expect this is probably the reason he was trying to set expectations. I always try to set expectations with clients, we’re human. Things don’t always work. Some clients can have quite unrealistic expectations of an overnight (although to be fair those guys never actually book…they just talk about it). Overnights are more about companionship than endless full sex and cumming. It’s about chatting, cuddling, bathing, eating, watching tv or porn together, going to the hotel gym, kissing in the elevator, holding hands at the bar, kissing him passionately while he’s pinned up against the corridor wall, visiting a local sauna together, hiding under the duvet sucking him off while he phones his partner 🫣, showing him how your new prostate massage toy works, walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a leather harness and jock just as room service has wheeled in dinner…. (Ok so some of these may be autobiographical 😂). What I mean is these kind of longer sessions are about connecting much more deeply than is possible in a shorter 90m session. Tbh I prefer to do them as an afternoon rather than overnight. They work really nicely as a 2pm to 8pm or something like that because it’s sexy to have afternoon fun while everyone else is working, there’s no sleep involved (I like my sleep uninterrupted!) and somehow it feels more illicit. Day use hotel rooms make such a thing possible.

Too much hassle to prep every time! I don’t bother doing it with regular clients who I know are bottom. Plus the majority of my clients are bottom because I’m hung and that attracts the bottoms😂. So I basically assume they’re not interested in my hole unless they say or imply otherwise when booking.

Yes, although clients who definitely want me to cum usually ask for that when booking, so I know and can make sure it happens for them. I avoid booking more than 3 a day so if they all want me to cum then it’s possible but tbh mostly I try to avoid it. Once the client has shot his load he’s not much interested in me doing so!!!

Yay!! That’s my site 🙂

Are you saying I’m old??? …..you’re correct, although I call it ‘experienced’ and my clients call it ‘daddy’ 😂😂😂

Risky, but if you definitely want to know you’ll find out this way. Be prepared to be disappointed though! It’s not binary between ‘he’s a great actor and is doing it for the money’ or ‘he really is into me and will give it all up and come and marry me’. Anyone decent at this work will be able to make their clients feel fabulous / desired / sexy / attractive etc for the duration of their session. I can find that in anyone (ok, almost anyone 😬…I can recall one or two who got through the screening…). I’m not ‘acting’, I’m not doing it only for the money although that is a factor. If one did it only for the money one would very quickly burn out in the work. But I’m also not thinking ‘I want to marry him and run off into the sunset’ even if there’s strong chemistry, the sex is amazing and we get on. It’s just that one is able to compartmentalise it and treat it as a job. That’s quite difficult to understand if you haven’t done the job, but nevertheless important to understand if you become infatuated with a provider. I’d say best to not put him on the spot. If he has decided he wants to start a relationship then he will tell you. That way you’ll definitely know it’s real. Effectively he’s resigning from his job if he does that.

Provider (of sexual services). The words in brackets are implied. I think the obfuscation is clearly because of the legal position of sexual services in the US. Here in the UK it’s legal to provide sexual services, and of course it’s a much less puritanical society. The phrase most commonly used here, and which I use to describe myself is ‘sex worker’.

I’ve had exactly the same thing happen to me. I try to be a professional in this industry (it’s not easy). I keep my commitments, am always in a fit state to see clients (never drink, never do drugs), I provide more than I advertise (always aim to exceed expectations). I never ask clients for pictures or discriminate on their looks or age or anything. If I’m unwell I’ll cancel and offer the client an alternative. I had a client tell me I was cancelling because they weren’t fit enough when the reason was I was unwell. He simply didn’t believe me. I couldn’t even challenge him on it because he blocked me as soon as he’d sent me his ‘poor me it always happens to me…you guys are all the same’ message. If that’s his view of things then everything that happens to him will be seen through that lens. It simply reinforces his mistaken world view. I think these guys have personal issues to overcome before they’re ready to come for a massage. It’s a problem avoided for me. I’m glad he revealed what he’s like. You did the right thing. You can’t please everyone. Consider it a bullet dodged. Work with people who aren’t full of self pity.