Jamie21

Some clients are just notoriously vague. I think it comes with the work. I don’t like it, it’s frustrating, I agree with @Jarrod_Uncut . Some clients are just window shopping or indulging themselves in an ‘I might hire’ fantasy. I tend to work from a studio in central London. I don’t live there but I’m often in the vicinity and I see clients there or at their hotel or home if it’s reasonable travel distance. Many times I finish my day, make my way home or to do something else and a potential client will message “hi, are you available this evening?”. Too late…I left the studio. Had they asked earlier I’d have probably seen them. Others message about availability in coming week. I provide days / times and hear nothing back. Then they message on the day and ask to book. Too late! I made other plans or took another booking because they didn’t take their opportunity when it was there. What do these potential clients think I’m doing? Sitting around all day waiting for them to make their mind up? I’m sorry to have to decline them of course, but I do think that if you want a good experience with someone decent then it’s highly unlikely they’ll be available for you at the drop of a hat.

Thanks! He lived in London, we did a few films together. Initially when he hadn’t done the face reveal. He’s great fun and has his head screwed on so he’s obviously making a great success of his filming career.

I’ve collaborated with him a few times for my justforfans. He’s a great guy, good fun and really hot. I understand he’s travelling a lot doing collaborations and so is probably not available for escorting.

It would be massive! Dear @Vegas_Millennial Following your consultation with Dr Dick, he has prescribed a treatment for you of 5 sessions a week for 3 months with an NHS approved provider. Your first treatment will be on 3 June 2047. Yours sincerely NHS Sexcare

Not in UK though. Doctors here are free 😉.

Some become investment bankers because shafting their clients is a transferable skill.

Yes and then 30 mins on the Elizabeth line from LHR to my studio 😃

Sounds like you’ve been very unlucky! None of what they did is very professional. You should be made to feel welcome, safe and comfortable, then aroused! Maybe you’re picking the wrong guys to hire? If they have a list of things they won’t do, their pics look too good to be true, they’re difficult to make the booking with, they don’t ask you any questions about what you’re looking for, they don’t have a website or other signs of a professional approach (such as their prices are ‘ask me’), or they use baby oil to massage you 😱….then it’s likely they will be like those you already saw. The guys who do this unprofessionally are just out to make a quick buck off you. They tend to disappear after a while. Go for guys who’ve been doing it a good few years who take a professional approach to it. They’ll give you a proper massage and include sensuality and intimacy. They’ll listen to you about what you’re looking for and be intuitive to provide it. I don’t know where you are so I can’t make any suggestions as to who to book, I’ll leave that to others.. (I think some of the US based guys who regularly post on here sound great though - try them!). But if you ever visit London come to me for a massage. I see lots of clients who are new to sensual / erotic massage. I won’t answer the door mid massage, tell you off for looking at me, or keep any clothes on 😉.

I filmed a collaboration with him recently (it’s on my justforfans now 😉). Lovely guy! We will film another one if he visits London again, or if I visit the US.

Laconic

Interesting topic. The transactional nature of escort / erotic massage coming up against the organic and random nature of sexual interaction. To what extent does planning and agreeing the content of a session beforehand, for the purpose of agreeing the rate etc detract from the pleasure and excitement of the reality of the session as it unfolds? I think that many of the best experiences are those that are unplanned. Trying to recreate those in a paid environment is difficult if the details of the session are too choreographed or if there’s an upsell negotiation in the middle! It’s why I like to know what my massage clients specifically don’t want rather than what they do want. We take it for given they do want a great massage and a release. I like to think of it like a painting. I ask for their frame (their definite boundaries) and they leave me to paint a picture within the frame. Having the frame is great because it helps creativity in the session and that makes it interesting and exciting for the client and me. I price the session in that context and of course if the client is happy they may leave a tip but most importantly to me is that they come back. Repeat clients are the mainstay of this work.

I agree with @Shawn Monroe. Clients can be very cagey about what they want, with it changing between when they book and when they turn up, or even during the session. I’ve had clients book and expect a sensual massage only for them to ask for full service part way through. I think my advertising and pricing is clear, it includes erotic massage and everything short of ‘full service’. But that still doesn’t stop people wanting it during the session, even though I’m not offering an up sell during the session. Some want me to bottom but I’ve not prepared (nor charged) for that so I have to decline. All parties to the transaction should be clear about what is and isn’t included beforehand because it saves a lot of problems. That’s assuming it’s legally possible / safe to do so. Where I work it’s fine to be very clear so I always recommend clients to ask me if they really want anything included.

If you get anxious about it then you tend to tense up and then it does become difficult. The trick is to relax. After the initial pain if you can relax a little then you’ll find it becomes easier, and enjoyable. Find a top who is considerate and who is versatile because he’ll understand better how it feels. I rarely bottom because I prefer to top but if I do bottom (whether that’s in porn or for a client - I don’t bottom recreationally) I find it’s best to try different positions because some are more comfortable than others. I also prefer to be in control of the depth and pace etc if I bottom (but that’s probably just me preferring to take the active role!). I hope you manage to try it because it can be amazing!

It’s indicative of an unprofessional approach to your session. Avoid those guys and book someone who takes the work seriously.

I never talk about other clients with clients! Strict rule - absolute discretion. I’m fine to discuss other providers who I know, to give my perspective on whether the client would like the guy. I think the general rule I use is that if you can’t say anything nice or positive then don’t say anything atall.

That’s wrong of him, if it was discussed beforehand as being included. I think you were right to wrap it up.

That’s interesting that they finish when they finish so to speak!! If I cum early in the session that’s not the end of it. I think if the client booked an hour or whatever time and my view is that’s what they expect. In general I won’t cum and that’s usually fine with most clients. However some clients specifically want me to cum and I prefer to know that in advance. I had a client last week who wanted me to cum on his chest. He’d booked 90 minutes and got his load after 30 (his choice). Trouble is he wanted another one later on…. I didn’t have any more clients so he got the second load (then he came himself) but I found it very challenging.

If you’re in the UK Sleepyboy.com is the main source for escorts.

Many factors come into play with these role situations: sometimes being top is a convenience because I’m not prepared to bottom. There’s also expectations. I’m hung so people assume I’m top, but that can also mean that despite wanting it, they’re too anxious to take it. Also perceptions of dominance for the top and submissiveness for the bottom. I like to play around with that and be a dominant bottom or submissive top, or switch from being a dominant top to then passively taking him as the bottom. I like to explore these things. I find lots of guys pick a label and then live up to it, but that wouldn’t work for me.

I’ve learned that you need to set boundaries doing this work. It’s easy, and tempting to take clients at any time, even changing your plans to accommodate a client. Unfortunately that’s a recipe for dissatisfaction because you fail to make time for important things. Keeping fit is an important part of the job, just as making time for yourself. It’s not a 9 to 5 job (thankfully) but that doesn’t mean you work anytime 7 days a week. I carve out time to go to gym, see friends etc and I generally won’t cancel those things to see a client, especially if it’s a short notice booking, which a lot are.

That’s a very thoughtful and helpful response. Epitomises the value of this forum! I can give some perspective from the provider side….or at least my perspective as a sex worker although I wouldn’t assume that I’m representative of all. Firstly I’d say that it’s understandable that one might have reservations about paying for sex. Society (and religion) has done a great job of conditioning us in that respect. But I don’t accept it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with buying or selling sex. What’s wrong is where the parties to this transaction are disrespectful towards each other or there’s coercion on either side. If it’s done with good intentions on both sides then my view is there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I won’t let society decide this for me. I think many good sex workers would welcome you to book with them. I work with all genders, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is their intentions and whether they’re respectful. Good luck with your search and in your relationship.

Consider that a masseur’s pricing is his way of screening out clients who are not the kind he wants, and to limit the number of bookings he has to fit his capacity. You might look at his ad, pics etc and say he’s pushing it. That’s his intention - he’s screened you out without even having to handle your enquiry. There’s loads of potential clients who want to pay a lot less than £130 or so a hour for a sensual massage. Or even pay nothing…just look at the numbers looking for ‘massage exchange’ where they expect a massage for free in exchange for giving one back. That end of the market is big. One could fish there for business by setting a lower rate but you’d get all sorts of time wasters, cheap clients and those who know the price of everything but the value of nothing. I certainly don’t want those kind of clients. If they do somehow contact me their first question is often “do you do discounts?” or “what’s your best rate?”. Those clients don’t get to book. When I first started I had an enquiry from a client who asked about my rate. He said he really wanted to book but my hour rate was too much for him and would I discount? He said he’d “definitely become a regular” (a common phrase used by such clients by the way). I declined to discount it so he went away….for a week..and then asked again. Same response “no discount, sorry”. Eventually he agreed to the rate and booked an hour. I was surprised that he actually turned up on the day, but he did…and had the massage, which he said he enjoyed. I always ask for payment afterwards and at this point he says “oh I’ve only got £x on me, is that ok?”. I said “no, we agreed £y but I’ve a card reader so you can pay the balance (about 40% short of the agreed rate) by card”. He said “he didn’t want the transaction appearing on his account”. He then promised to pay the balance next time or to do a bank transfer when he got home. I declined that and told him I’d walk him to the cashpoint where he’d draw the balance and pay me. That’s what we eventually did. Total waste of time. Lesson learned: never book ‘low rent’ clients.

Rule 1. Never discount. Rule 2. Refer to Rule 1. I’ve occasionally broken some of my rules (such as giving time wasters a second chance) but never broken rules 1 & 2 and I have absolutely no regrets about that.

I can sometimes (not often) see 3 clients in a day. These are massage sessions where my focus is on the client and their climax but clients often want to reciprocate and I’m fine with that. Some of my sessions are escort type sessions where the massage goes onto ‘full service’ as they say! If it’s important to the client that I cum then I do but many clients aren’t expecting me to and that’s fine with me. I prefer that they tell me if they want me to cum. Where it’s difficult sometimes is if the client wants me to cum in his mouth as he sucks. Unless he’s an expert at it (I’ve only met one guy who set the bar on that.. he was unbelievable ..but that’s a different story!) I struggle to cum by being sucked. I need some hand work to get me there! It’s the specific requests that can be challenging, like “I want you to cum same time as me and shoot it on my face”. So I’m trying to get him off with one hand, work out when he’s close, get me close but not too close with the other hand, aim at his face. It’s not easy!

Don’t worry about it. He’s not able to hack you just by having your number. Clearly he’s unstable if simply being unresponsive to a message causes such a reaction. You’ve done the right thing by blocking him. Just be vigilant about any texts from unsolicited or unknown numbers and don’t open attachments from them (as you would do normally anyway). I think you were correct to report it to RM.