Jamie21

Text (or messenger app like WhatsApp or Telegram) is best because it’s faster than email. I like to text the client on the day to confirm (or remind them!) the appointment and that is much easier if I can do that via text over email. People don’t check their emails often and usually don’t have their in box set up to notify them of a new mail. Whereas with text or messenger it tends to get noticed faster plus you can be confident it was delivered.

In the UK we have VAT (value added tax). It’s 20%. I should add that 🙂

Ugh yes that’s so annoying. I’ve a website where I invite guys to apply to be in a porn movie (that’s a different thread!!) but there’s a field for them to put in their email address if they want to be contacted by email about filming sessions. It’s amazing how many emails bounce back because the guy put in the wrong email. I guess I should amend the form so that they put it in twice and the form checks they’re the same. But I find that annoying myself when I have to do that!!

Rule number 1. Know your value, set your rate and NEVER discount or compromise on that.

Ah ok. He’s probably found a way around OF rules or perhaps it was before they tightened up their processes. I’m glad you were ok with it.

OF are strict about getting release forms and ID for anyone appearing in a movie. Did he get those from you before publishing it?

Not wrong in any way whatsoever!. He’s unprofessional and wasted your time. It’s his fault and he should refund you the deposit. He should have turned up just before 7, as arranged or should have messaged you before 7 if for unavoidable reasons he’d be late to give you the option to reschedule to later or refund you. This should just be normal professional behavior and you shouldn’t put up with any lame excuses like “I was asleep”.

Welcome back to the industry. Interesting that you feel the need to return; I think it’s very difficult to leave the industry voluntarily. All sorts of reasons (money, lifestyle, excitement) but mainly because of the connections and people you meet, and that’s why it’s sad to hear of you losing your benefactor- sorry to hear it. I hope your return is successful. I’m very discreet too. I don’t have direct face pics on my advertising (but everything else is on show!). However, I think in this business many clients are looking also for a glimpse of your personality too as well as your face. It’s really important that when clients meet you they not only like the visuals but they feel comfortable with the person inside. If they hire someone who’s pretty, but is an asshole (or weird) or indeed can’t do what they offered because they’re unprofessional, then they’ll never come back and they’ll spread the word about him. This is why I have a website where I put more info about me, and insight into my style and how I think etc. I’ll also share face pics with clients who ask via the contact details on my website. If they like what they see on there then they’ll book and I’m confident it will be a great session. It also stands you apart from many in the industry who unfortunately aren’t very professional. The ‘pretty pics here today gone tomorrow’ guys playing at it wouldn’t bother setting up a website. Good luck! Be interesting to hear on here how things go.

Very few clients provide reviews in my experience. I’d rather if they’re happy that they come back. I do appreciate a review but I suspect that many potential clients are a bit suspicious of profiles with lots of glowing reviews. Massage is a very personal service, one client my love my style and approach, another not so much. As long as there’s nothing unprofessional about how I go about the work (and I’m sure there isn’t or I wouldn’t have been going for 5 years + with lots of regular clients) then I’d rather clients didn’t leave a review. If there’s something they really didn’t like I’d prefer to know it direct so that I can fix it.

I once met a guy in Mykonos (he was there on holiday, as was I) who told me he had had laser hair removal many years earlier which had gone horrendously wrong, leaving him with red scarring in lines all over his torso. I looked closely (as one must do….all over 😉) and yes I could see the damage it did, although by now it had faded so unless prompted one wouldn’t necessarily notice it. He’d complained at the time, been compensated and recovered but he said it was a horrendous experience. Be very careful to find a qualified and competent practitioner if you’re having laser!

Exactly 👏

Clients have sent me particular items of clothing they want me to wear. I’ve no problem with that!

I get asked if there are cameras occasionally. Some clients are aware of my filming work. I tell them definitely no cameras are present. Any filming has to be with consent, release forms etc. Plus if they’re coming for a sensual massage then they wouldn’t find the filming style session very relaxing - there’s too much stop / start, the lights are too bright, there’s no music etc. Then there’s some who want a picture or short video taken on their phone as a kind of souvenir I guess. I agree with @BenjaminNicholasthat that kind of thing needs to be discussed beforehand. It’s very awkward to have it thrown at you mid session “oh please just get my phone and take a picture of this”. I have to climb off the table (it’s usually at some climactic point 😂) rummage in his bag or trouser pocket for his phone, try and not get massage oil all over it, work out how to use it…. I’m fine to do it if agreed beforehand but only a quick pic or 30 seconds video, and no face shown. If they really want to be in a porn film then I tell them that’s possible but they’ll need to come to a separate session specifically arranged for filming. They’ll need do the release forms and ID (that puts people off) and wear a mask. Plus they need to be able to perform on camera.

Free range eggs? I’d be really annoyed if the omelette wasn’t made with eggs where the chickens are free to wander around the farmyard.

With hotels (and any kind of business like that) I find that I get a lot of flexibility if I can make friends with the people on the desk. There’s a couple of hotels I use for filming (I know, it’s quite different from staying overnight - these are day use rooms booked from say 11am to 5pm). I see some of the same people on the desk each time I use it. I get friendly with them: ask how they are, wait patiently while they do the check in, use their name (it’s on their badge). A few times they’ve assigned me a room that’s inappropriate for filming (not much space, bad angles etc) and I’ve asked to change it. Obviously I don’t say “can I have a more porn shoot suitable room please?” 😂, but I make some issue about the light or noise and ask nicely if they have another room. They always help! These people have to deal with all sorts of awkward customers every day so it’s good to be really nice and they remember it and reciprocate. If you can build up a relationship with them it’s amazing what ‘rules’ can be flexed to make life easier.

I find hotels usually ok, you get what you pay for. I like a window that opens (so many are sealed shut, and the room becomes hot and stuffy), decent toiletries, lots of towels, a comfortable bed, tea and coffee making facilities and a gym (even if it’s small). The shower has to have a hand held detachable head (if you know…you know) and there must be places around the sink to put stuff. Finally I don’t want to have to spend 20 minutes working out how to use the lights. If they provide all that I’m happy.

No, because you’re their customer. You have to fit to their model. If your model doesn’t fit them then don’t use them, find someone else. I’m not trying to put you down rather I’m trying to explain how I see it.

I’ve never travelled to the Palm Springs event unfortunately. But I do use hotels and try to comply with their terms. I guess it is an inconvenience to check out when the hotel’s policy requires you to, but I have a choice not to use the hotel if they are strict about enforcing the rule. I hear that it’s also an inconvenience to pay a deposit to an escort for many clients. You apply that deposit rule for good reason, based on your experience. I think the hotel check out rule is similar. They apply it for good reason otherwise if they relax it and allow 4pm check outs many more of their clients would take advantage of it and there’d be no time to clean the rooms. So in their mind they have good reason. I think the same principle applies: you require deposits and are strict about it: they require check out promptly and are strict about it. If you don’t like their rules don’t use them. Similarly clients who don’t play by your requirements don’t get to meet you.

No, I said “it appears that your operating model doesn’t work”, based on your own comments. I’m suggesting that using hotels as a venue is a fundamental flaw. Hotels aren’t going to change their operating model because the check out time clearly works for them (as in their whole operating model makes them money). But I guess most of their clients are using the hotel for the main purpose it’s intended rather than using it to host clients. I don’t think they’ll change how they operate to appeal to the travelling escort market so you have to adjust your expectations around what’s possible within their model unfortunately. Also I didn’t offer any solution because I know you don’t want suggestions (that’s based on experience).

Not sure why not being fully out would be a problem? Straight people can get HIV too. If you’re not doing bb sex then yes of course there’s less need to use prep but it is still possible that a condom breaks or other sexual activity presents some risk. If you’re on several medications your medical professional should know and can advise on whether it’s safe to use prep. Plus you get a 6 month check up when on prep to ensure no adverse effects (at least you do where I am - UK). So yes there are reasons not to use it but I think on balance it’s probably best to use it if you have regular different sexual partners.

No I think those guys are referred to as ‘stable boys’. These guys lead the stallion to cover the mare 😉. Yes definitely. I default to bareback, it’s normalised. Fortunately PrEP is available on the NHS. No excuse not to use it unless you have a medical condition that precludes it. But do get tested regularly! That’s important if you’re active.

It appears that your operating model doesn’t work? Although I guess you might come back with examples of times when it does work of course…. But I’d suggest that if it doesn’t work > 80% of the time then it’s not effective and you need to change something. The world won’t change to suit you; you have to change to fit the world. I don’t travel so I’m not going to offer any ideas except to say that if I book a hotel room (I use them for filming) then I use DayUse which provides rooms by the hour. Usually at affordable rates and at convenient times.

I have the same approach. There are a few clients who have pain in the ass characteristics: - making bookings and repeatedly cancelling or rescheduling so I spend loads of time scheduling. - having extremely demanding requirements (like wanting to over choreograph a massage). - booking for difficult times. Example I say I’m available up to 4pm on Tuesday…and he then asks for 4:30pm (done on purpose to exert control). These clients pay more than my standard rate. I don’t mind what they look like. In fact I like the variety of different clients, big, small, older, younger, different races and colours etc. It’s the wonder of the job, the opportunity to find out that despite all the outward differences there’s some things that apply universally.

I don’t care what their physical appearance is. Most clients don’t disclose what they look like and I don’t ask but I’d guess around 20% send a description and a handful send a picture. In my experience clients are accurate in their description if they offer it.

This is very insightful. I wouldn’t speak for others but my experience of sex work is that if a client is having a great time because I made them feel good about themselves then it’s a huge turn on for me. That in turn helps the client to feel approved of because I’m turned on and then we are into a nice virtuous circle. In my experience guys want to be approved of and women want to be desired. That’s essentially what you’re doing. If doing that is a turn on for you then sex work is a good vocation. I do use viagra (or other similar things) because it’s a kind of reassurance. In this business you can become somewhat desensitised to sex. Viagra helps in that sense.