Jamie21

It’s a common misunderstanding. If you see a guy calling himself a masseuse then he’s probably not very good. Don’t hire.

It’s not an excuse, they shouldn’t ghost but some do, and it’s because they’re paying (or would be paying). Customers feel like they can call the shots.

I’ve a client who is a side. In his case it literally is that he likes laying alongside and cuddling. Some hand work on his cock but that’s it, no sucking, nothing internal. He likes watching me have sex with other guys, but doesn’t want to participate. I think there can be all sorts of reasons for this. Perhaps it’s a fear of catching something, or it’s some past trauma or bad experience of being penetrated. Some guys are very small so it’s difficult for them to top or to get pleasure from it. Sometimes it’s just a fear of things being ‘dirty’. Religious issues or social conditioning can also make some guys rule out penetrative sex. Maybe it’s not gay if they don’t penetrate. All sorts of reasons exist. With my client we don’t explore why, we just accept it and enjoy the time because it does help you to find other ways to be intimate.

Happy ending is the client reaches climax. Most clients have that minimum expectation of a sensual massage. A small number of my clients don’t expect that but 99% want it. But they also want a great massage. You have to provide both. It’s no good doing a poor massage and then a hand job, nor is it good doing a great massage but not touching his cock! I’m fine to provide the happy ending in any way they like whether that’s hand job or bj or body contact etc. Most clients want to interact with me. I usually say they’re welcome to interact with me as much or as little as they like and see what their expectations are. Usually that has been agreed at the booking stage anyway. Then it’s up to them. Some will suck me, some want to do more. I think it’s important to be clear about what’s ok and what isn’t included and let them do whatever they like within those parameters.

That’s it. And I always send a confirmation message the day before the client’s meeting because people tend to forget or change their mind.

Maybe some do, probably most don’t. I still think they’re just enquiries until the moment they’re in front of you. What goes on in their mind and in their world is nothing you can control. All you can do is control how you think about it.

I think maybe you’re investing too much hope in what are mostly just enquiries? I get lots of people asking about availability etc, even guys who book but then change their minds on the day. It’s annoying but normal for people to simply go quiet when I reply with rates or availability. Therefore I simply don’t build up any expectations of a booking or even of a client actually turning up until I open the door to them in person. Anything before them standing in front of me is just a ‘maybe’. and my expectations are zero. Of all the enquiries I get only around 50% turn into a real session. The other 50% are window shoppers, the perennial undecided, the hopelessly disorganised and the ones who get off on the thought of a session but who can’t cope with the reality. I think this is the milk that one has to accept if one wants the cream. So I accept the milk and enjoy the cream.

I hate to be asked for a discount. It makes the session (if it happens) awkward. I have a simple rule, no discounts, ever…especially if my client asks for one. So the answer is always ‘no’. The rate is advertised, so I think if you don’t want to pay it please don’t approach me. Some might see that as inflexible but I think in this business you need really strict boundaries. For regulars I’ll go over on time (if possible) but never discount on my rate.

This is an interesting point. I agree a table massage is better but I don’t require clients to have it on the table. Often if I do an out call in London either the client’s hotel room isn’t big enough or it’s not possible for me to get my table there (as in there’s nowhere to park). So I’m fine to use the bed if the client is because otherwise he’d not be able to go ahead (assuming he can’t make my studio). I agree that a bed massage is more likely to develop into an escort style session than if a table is used, but I think that’s up to me to manage.

I love it when flakes reach out again, sometimes years later. They’ve forgotten but I haven’t (yes like @Vin_Marco I also keep the records!). All the same red flag signals are there in the message too…do they never change? I string along the chat for a bit if I’m bored, and just in case they are genuine. Then when and if it gets to confirming a booking I say “when you last booked you didn’t turn up / you messaged last minute saying you couldn’t make it etc so on this occasion I need full payment in advance please”. At that point they usually either go quiet, or come up with some reason to say they aren’t quite ready to book but they ‘definitely intend to’. Then I don’t hear from them for another year or so until they come across my profile again… I know the signs of a flake, they’re so obvious. Most of them never get to actually book because I’ve screened them out. If they do book a session I always do a check in with them 24 hours before the sessions and if they don’t confirm at that point it’s cancelled and I don’t make any commitments for it. I don’t do last minute bookings unless I’m already at the venue and it’s immediately following another client. If they don’t turn up then I’ve lost nothing. Last minute late evening bookers are usually flaky. For my modus operandi a deposit is not necessary. I don’t travel out of my home city, out calls are at the client’s hotel or home, and for in calls if the client doesn’t show up I don’t incur cost. I do agree to front up cost (for a few clients I pay for the hotel or venue) for trusted regulars and I just include the costs in my rate. Here’s the crux of it: I think those ‘clients’ who think all sex work is somehow low rent and done by people who are desperate are the ones who are most likely to flake. If you appear like this in how you run your business then they’ll definitely try to take advantage of you. However if you present and take a professional approach to the work (which in my view it 100% deserves) then you will attract respectable clients who will be reliable. Those clients are the best and they become regular. Run things professionally, have a consistent business model (including deposits if necessary), communicate properly and business like, have clear pricing and policies about what you do, be on time. All these things tell the client that they’re dealing with someone reliable and it makes you much less likely to be treated badly. You’re doing a job most people simply can’t do, so know your value and don’t let anyone disrespect that.

Best option is to ask for what you want: fun, dinner, movie, more fun etc from x time to y time and ask his rate. He’ll give you an all in rate, he won’t break it down by segment. If the cost is too high for you then shorten the session.

I’ll give you my opinion on this once you send me a donation (details below).

I was referring to the economic concept of perfect competition. Perfect visibility of prices and perfect knowledge about product enables the market to work without distortion. The distortion caused by illegality and the difficulty of being able to advertise openly and for buyers to compare value means that the price might be over or under the true market rate depending on the level of knowledge that buyers and sellers have.

The only challenge to that is that in most free markets all the players have good information on price and product. Because in the US the product is largely illegal that does mean the market can’t operate as efficiently as it might otherwise do. For example rates aren’t freely visible, nor is the product. This gives some opportunity for the price to be manipulated.

Demand and supply. Nothing to do with what you think you’re worth or need. The market decides the rate. You and your clients decide whether or not you’re participating in that market. Nothing else is relevant.

This is not a red flag for me. It’s surprising how many clients have a thing for feet! I’m size 11 (UK size) 😉. All the others I concur. Especially the unsolicited dick pics and the nonchalant responses which imply lack of commitment to keeping the booking. But the biggest red flag is a message that just says “hey”.

Posting an alluring nude pic to get attention…., you’re thirsty ( as in horny) and you see a mirage of an oasis offering to quench your thirst. That’s a thirst trap!

I don’t have many routines. Every day is different and I prefer it that way. The only consistent first thing in the morning is to have a cup of Yorkshire tea and see the news. The rest of the day could pan out in myriad of different ways, which is good because I like options and variety.

I think it’s a very difficult distinction to pull off, over a sustained period of time. I had a regular client who I’m now friends with (holidays together, meals out etc, recreational sex) and I found it difficult when he was booking me as a client after our friendship had developed. It happened gradually; over time we became friends whilst he still hired me. After a short while of this I had to tell him I wouldn’t charge him any longer because I found it awkward. He accepted that. I think he found it awkward too. Now the relationship is simpler. No money changes hands. I think it could be possible to have a kind of dual relationship: Paid companion on one hand and friend on the other, but it’s not one I’m able to sustain.

I never see clients at home. I like to keep it separate. I use a studio I rent for seeing clients, or visit them in an outcall. Where I live isn’t somewhere clients would easily visit. My work studio is extremely convenient for clients because it’s in central London. I’ve never felt unsafe, probably because I’d decline a client if I got a sense that they were threatening. I’m also very aware of my surroundings and able to defend myself (martial arts). That gives me a degree of confidence, and a better ability to assess risk. I think it also helps that I’m working in an environment where the work is not unlawful. If sex work was unlawful here then I think there would be more risk for the sex worker. If I’m in trouble I’ve recourse to the police. That is less of an option if you’re working at something that’s prohibited.

I guess it could be that since you enjoy watching them then they are playing up to that even more? I definitely get more turned on by the fact that my client enjoys watching me with the other guy and it spurs me on. It’s got nothing to do with whether the guy watching is hot or not. I don’t think you can mandate that the provider kisses you with the same level of intimacy / intensity as he kisses the other provider. That’s just unrealistic and will make for an awkward situation. You should focus on your responses rather than trying to see whether you are getting the same degree of intimacy. If you’re into it then as long as you hire good professionals then they’ll be as into you as they are each other.

I see some regular clients and do feel affection for them. When you share intimacy regularly with someone it does create a kind of bond. I’m able to compartmentalise it though; it’s a transaction despite me trying to make it not seem like that (at least up to the point where I ask them how they’d like to pay!). I think some clients might like it to progress further and that’s the most difficult part of the work. I had a client tell me he loved me after a session. It wasn’t a comment made ‘in the moment’ at climax but was afterwards as he was dressing. That made it even more difficult to respond to. I didn’t expect it and didn’t know what to say. I just gave him a cuddle and said nothing, which actually said it all… and he realised it. He was a regular (one of those every 3 months clients) but I’ve not seen him since. I wish I had handled it better but it really surprised me.

This situation would have thrown me. Doing an out call there’s enough unknown variables without adding the prospect of two clients when I’m expecting one. I’ve had surprises occasionally (like the client’s wife and kids being upstairs during the session!) but I think I’d draw the line at ‘oh here’s my partner and he’s joining’ regardless of what the partner looked like or whether I had a good prior relationship with the client. In fact if I had the kind of relationship with the client that you describe I’d be disappointed that he had sprung it on me like he did. You seem to have taken it with equanimity!

I get hired sometimes for that. In the sense that it involves being with the client with no expectation that sex will happen. It usually is simply spending time with them. We’ll probably be naked, we’ll do some massage, we’ll eat, chat, just cuddle. It’s important to them that there’s no explicit agenda. So much of people’s time these days is scheduled and structured I think the opportunity to just chill with someone who is like minded is welcome. Of course most of the time because the session is unstructured and relaxed then some kind of sex does happen. Whether that’s full sex or just intimacy but because it’s not the purpose of the session it makes it all the more fulfilling.

I think you dodged a bullet. Prices should be clear, but if there’s a mistake and you asked for clarification and got a response like that then that tells me he’s probably not the kind of guy you’d want to see.