Jamie21

If you don’t feel enlightened …then use some lube?

I think the analogy is a fair one. Alcoholics affect others massively (try living with one) so do drug addicts (most crime is drug related). I agree with you about the waiting for each partner to react. That happens. It’s a choice though. You choose to do it safe, he wasn’t compelled to do so. Similarly I don’t insist anyone agrees to my choice. If a client wants to top me with a condom that’s fine because I choose to agree they use one if they want to. If the client wants me to top them with a condom then I simply decline, and it doesn’t happen (and as I said, it’s not part of massage anyway). It’s all free choice. It’s very easy to avoid the risk of catching something: you avoid all human contact.

I use grapeseed oil. Tastes fine. Lovely for massage, good for the skin.

I agree with you.

Oh well I must be doing it wrong then. All these years and over 1000 clients and now I learn I’ve been doing it wrong 😬.

I’m cut, some clients are too. If playing with a cut cock you do need a bit of lube sometimes.

Good! It’s important when hiring that things are clear. I wasn’t thinking your reply (or any reply) was judgmental. My stance on BB is fairly academic anyway because almost all my work is sensual/erotic massage so I don’t offer to top or bottom as part of that service. Sometimes it happens of course but never as an expectation.

Maybe I misread it but I didn’t feel it was really judgmental (but then I’m thick skinned, I don’t care if anyone judges me!). I like the range of opinions on here. Some people focus on extreme safety some much more open to risk. Who knows what someone’s background is that leads them to their position. If they express it as judgmental on others then I think that says more about them than the person they’re judging.

I think you may be an outlier. It feels different to me. It’s also really annoying in the moment to try and open the condom with oily or lubed up hands (I know this is a first world annoyance but still….it kills the mood). Plus many bottoms like the load in them…which actually I find kind of difficult but that’s a different discussion! Also…isn’t all sex mental? If it’s just a physical act you’re missing something. It happens in the head. The brain is the sex organ - that’s where it all happens and where you focus if you’re really wanting to get it on with someone, not their cock or ass. Bareback sex is elemental, it’s in the head.

Yes that’s correct, it doesn’t go ahead.

I know Prep doesn’t protect me against other sexually transmitted infections (by the way…STI is the term used now). I understand the risks and make a personal decision (as with anything). People should be able to take informed choices about this. I choose not to use condoms when I top (and if the person I’m with doesn’t choose that then we don’t go ahead). It’s always got to be a personal choice. Similarly I choose not to smoke for example or to drink alcohol. Those are my choices made on health grounds. I’m always surprised by those who are censorious about people not using condoms but who smoke and drink both of which have serious health consequences for both themselves and others. Why the focus on sexual activity and not on other lifestyle choices?

Yes I’ve found clients from this forum. I always ask new clients where they found me. A few say it was from here, which is fabulous. It’s a good place to interact; well moderated and generally respectful. I’ve also made some good connections with other providers.

In that respect…yes!

If you’re making porn no one uses condoms in that. 99% of the guys I film with are bb. If you put out a condom film it bombs so it just doesn’t happen. Also you can trust that guys who make content are getting tested regularly (if it’s your work you test regularly because if you catch something you’re out of work for a couple of weeks). If you’re at a party usually those are bareback only these days although in my experience the parties are where it’s most likely you might catch something (along with sex clubs). Also, if you’re being hired by clients and you’re not confident they test regularly and many guys who hire intermittently don’t seem to test regularly then it’s just simpler to ask them to use a condom and be on the safe side.

It depends what you’re offering, how you describe it, and on the laws in the jurisdiction you work in. I’m on RentMasseur. On there I list as offering sensual and erotic but not therapeutic. There’s no generally accepted or regulated definition of what sensual or erotic is (this is debated at length in many other posts on here!!! ) but therapeutic is regulated and one needs a license and insurance to practice (at least where I work in the UK) and any sexual activity would invalidate your license and your insurance. So therapeutic massage is very different from sensual / erotic massage. One does not need a license to offer sensual / erotic massage and because of the sexual elements it is considered sex work. Within certain parameters it’s perfectly legal to do sex work here in UK therefore I don’t have concerns about law enforcement and as long as I’m not advertising therapeutic massage it’s not necessary to have a license. That said I do have formal massage training because I think it’s important to know how to give a good massage and to avoid injury (to myself and my client) and be aware of any contra indicators for massage…things like varicose veins etc. I also have insurance which is now available here for certain kinds of sex workers. I think it’s generally understood that masseurs advertising on RentMasseur are offering more than therapeutic massage (just look at the pictures and the inferences in the masseurs description and profile!). They just need to be a bit careful about how they promote it if the jurisdiction they work in is hostile towards sex work.

This. Turn him over and ride him until he ends happily. You can massage his pecs at same time. That’s what I’ve done. Works fine.

A few clients like to discuss things in a phone call. How old fashioned!!! It tends to be older clients but I think it’s quite nice to talk. You can get a better idea of what he’s like and have a proper discussion. The only challenge is finding an appropriate time and location for such a potentially explicit discussion. Alternatively I do have WhatsApp and Telegram and Signal (which is very discreet indeed) if any client is concerned about privacy. As for law enforcement well that’s not a concern here given sex work is legal (within certain parameters).

You did the right thing, don’t make a big issue of it. It happens…. I recall one occasion when I wasn’t fully clean for a client. He’d been going a while in various different positions and as he pulled out I felt a sensation that I knew wasn’t good, and let’s just say a lot of cleaning up was needed. Thankfully he was fine about it, and we were nearly at the end anyway. Sometimes even with the best efforts it happens. When it happens if I’m on top it’s often just a little bit which can be washed clean and we carry on. One can’t make a big thing of it because it makes people feel bad and that ruins the atmosphere. I find if there are concerns about possibly not being fully prepared it’s best to stick to one position and once inside stay inside 😉.

It’s fairly annoying to be asked what is included in ‘erotic’. I’m not worried about law enforcement (where I work there’s no problem with selling sex). The problem is that it’s like trying to guess what the client wants…is he an anxious first timer who’d be put off by some of what is listed or is he a more sophisticated client looking for something niche? How do you pitch the response? Sometimes it’s simpler to just respond with rates, direct them to your website or advert and leave it to them if they want to book.

Yes, I agree. But he asked the question so I gave my opinion. Now he knows what to say and more importantly how it’s likely to be received. I know where he’s coming from because I get anxious about social interaction too.

“Hi, I’d really love it if you were ok to do a short video of our session, just for me so that I can view it between our meetings. Is that something you’d be ok with and if so how much would it be?” Something like that. I get asked for ‘extras’ occasionally and it’s almost always a painful experience because the client is reticent about asking. They drop hints, or talk around it…and it’s frustrating! Just ask it straight, be polite but be clear about what you want. Your provider will 100% not be offended or upset. They’ll appreciate you being direct.

I’m always happy to give a nice rim job (as long as he’s clean!). https://content.invisioncic.com/k323430/monthly_2024_10/IMG_7973.jpeg.5550abcd566bb0789d35d29e4ce2cd8c.jpeg

I’ve looked at the model and I couldn’t make it work. The job is fairly precarious anyway so to make it more random by constantly moving makes it even more precarious: your costs go up and you need to always find new clients. I’m lucky, I’m based in the middle of the biggest city in Europe. I don’t travel and get enough business because it’s London. However I still have a second income (Onlyfans etc) and other non sex industry work to reduce the variability of massage work and not rely completely on it. I think the only way you can make the model work on the road is to have a second job that requires travel and you do the massage or escort work whilst travelling. Only fans type work can be possible with that because you can do collaborations with guys when you visit their city. Lots of guys just travel around the world filming for their platforms, and they see clients off the back of that. However if the only reason you’re travelling is to do the massage or escort work then I think it’s too precarious (unless of course you’re in the top 0.1%).

Interesting observation. I think some clients make assumptions about providers, and when they come across things that challenge those assumptions it surprises them. During chat after a session one regular client told me he was surprised I was so educated 😂. This client happens to like having his arse slapped with a paddle and flogger. I told him “I went to public school, so of course I understand all about bending over and having your arse whipped”. (Note for Americans…public school in UK is private school as in fee paying). Sometimes clients just assume you’re doing this because you have no choice, they don’t realise it’s a vocation.

Everyone has a market. Understand it, own your identity and be confident. Your market will find you.