Jamie21

Data is valuable! Plus I’m kind of nerdy about keeping records. But really my activity isn’t so busy that I need to keep detailed records to know what’s happening. It’s mostly by feel, and then when I look at the records my ‘feeling’ is verified. The figures are fairly steady, I saw a drop during the pandemic but it quickly got back to pre pandemic levels. Earlier in the week is busier than later, and earlier in the month busier than the end. Winter is busier than summer. Regular clients make up 70% of the business. 95% are male. 90% are in calls. I do the work part time (it’s better that way for me) and mix in some filming and more conventional work. That all had to be highly flexible because there’s no real pattern as to time of day.

I have spreadsheets. You have to keep some records because you need them for accounting purposes and tax returns. I have kept the records since I started over 6 years ago. I keep the date, duration, location, charge plus any tip, costs I incurred, name of client (the anonymous name they gave me), source where they found me (if they advised me of that) and any relevant info in case they hire again. I can also see the patterns of hire and what advertising works etc.

This is relevant. I was with a client recently who wanted me to fuck him bare as part of the massage (he’d asked when booking, and although it wasn’t something I’d promised, there was an expectation). He said he’d not done much with guys before but was exploring, and couldn’t hold back his feelings any longer. Apparently he’d been building up the courage to book for about 2 years. I told him that I don’t usually include fucking, especially for a first time client and that he should see how things go during the session, which he was fine with. Before we started he was very anxious but as we progressed he relaxed a bit. During the session he said again that he really wanted to try to bottom so I prepared him and then slid in. It must have only been about 10 seconds inside and he said ‘you won’t cum will you?’. I said ‘no, don’t worry’ (I’m able to control when I cum). But I think the thought of being fucked and the risk of cum inside made him think again and he asked me to pull out. I think sometimes clients get ahead of themselves and when reality hits they get anxious. Especially if they’re inexperienced. In the end he was happy with me unloading over his face as I brought him off.

Occasionally my clients want to top me (it’s infrequent, most I see are bottom!) and if that’s the case I appreciate they ask before the session. It’s kind of too late once he’s inside because some guys aren’t very able to control it.

I’ve a friend who is also in the industry, he describes himself as a ‘sex engineer’. It’s descriptive of the work: working with clients body and mind to improve their sex life. However it feels a bit mechanical for me. As a masseur I consider the work to be as much on the client’s mind as it is on their body. A therapeutic masseur is just working the muscles but a sensual or erotic masseur is working the body and working on what’s going on in the client’s head. Therefore sex therapist sounds good. I genuinely think that the work should be valued more by society. Terms like whore and prostitute have been imbued with too much negative baggage for them to be used in a benign way unfortunately.

I don’t think you did anything wrong. I must admit I probably wouldn’t recognise clients outside of context (unless they’re regulars) and if I do see a client I discreetly nod and then ignore them. I’d expect the same back. I did once get seen by a client at a naked beach in Mykonos but I count that as being in context! I was walking along the shoreline with a friend. Once we’d found somewhere to settle I looked at my phone to see a text from the client ‘Jamie, did I just see you at Elia beach?’….I replied and asked him where he was. Turns out he was with his husband on sunbeds about 50 metres away so once I checked it was ok I went over and said hello, and he joked that he only recognised me because I was naked. The husband knew he hired. Small world.

It’s 99% likely to be a scam. I bet there follows a request for bank details to be supplied for payment. Be highly suspicious.

Rent boy gets used here quite widely. I describe myself as sex worker. I think whore or prostitute does have some unfortunate baggage but I don’t mind being called those names. What I have noticed though is that clients don’t like to be referred to as a client! If I’m referring to others then they’re ok with the term but if I’m with a guy and I refer to him as ‘my client’ then he doesn’t like it, so I avoid it now.

Nice idea. I might use it. Although I do ask clients to shower before their massage. I like the idea of wiping feet because I do sometimes suck toes (it can be immensely sexy, some clients love it).

If the client is just a bit green and probably anxious then I’m fine to indulge them in longer discussion. Even though most probably won’t book, a few do (I’m estimating about 20%), those kind of clients are great to see when they do come. So it’s worth talking with them. Everyone has to start somewhere don’t they? Practical questions are ok too although if they open with ‘how much is it?’ then I’m 95% confident it won’t happen. At the end of the day it’s very easy to quickly identify the time wasters, and to cut them off.

You are being naive! It can start off rather innocently: ‘hi can you tell me about x or y during the session, I’m thinking of booking’…. this question gets asked despite your advert or website being quite clear about the activities. However some clients like to ask…so you answer with some detail without making it salacious. Then they say ‘will you do x to me?’ ….you reply ‘yes x can be included’. Then comes back ‘can I do x to you?’…’yes you can’. Then a picture arrives of a part of his anatomy ‘do you like my x?’. By now you know it’s a time waster and he’s sexting. I reply ‘if you’d like to book a session please let me know when and how long for’… Other ‘clients’ (they’ve never booked but they keep saying they’re ‘definitely booking once they’ve saved up / got a free day / visit your area / lost weight etc) message regularly to chat and ask questions about the work: ‘hey how’s it going? What pants are you wearing today?’ ‘Any clients today?’ or they’ll send a cock / ass pic for comment ‘waiting for you’ or ‘I need your cock’ etc. It’s like they think they have a special relationship with you. Other times you get clients who did visit text some time later (it’s usually weeks afterwards) to say how they enjoyed it (which is nice!) but then they also want to talk about their session and kind of deconstruct it: ‘did you enjoy it? Was I your best client?’ ‘Tell me what you liked about me?’ This is awkward to answer because sometimes it’s hard to remember any details but you don’t want him to think he was just another client. I keep some notes now (to help me for potential future visits) so I can remember what he liked etc. So I hope you can see that handling enquiries etc can take up a lot of time! I’d say only 50% of enquiries end up with a client booking. The rest just don’t happen for various reasons to do with window shoppers, schedules that don’t align and those shopping where they can’t afford it.

Some would say that’s an attraction. You could increase the price based on how many loads have been deposited.

Imagine being the last client of the day in a day where he’s had 10 30 minute sessions….

Maybe the solution is to keep the price the same but provide less for it? Have you noticed how some groceries or chocolates / sweets (candy for our US cousins) are getting smaller? They keep the price the same but almost imperceptibly the size of the product gets smaller… So I suggest keep your rates flat but maybe only use 80% of your dick when fucking the client? (I mean they’re still getting a lot more than average). Or in the small print of your advertising define an hour as 50 minutes? Perhaps speed up the clock in your bedroom? Maybe when massaging your client lop 20% off the length of each effleurage stroke? I think there’s lots of options to shave the service to maintain profit margins 😉. Seriously though…I don’t mean to make light of the issue @Jarrod_Uncut. I think it’s a genuine problem in this business. My rates have more or less stayed the same for 4 years. I think it’s a problem because the market is competitive and clients can be fickle. My costs have increased substantially especially recently. The worry is however that if you put up rates you’ll lose business. So you put off the increase until it becomes impossible and then you apply a big increase which clients notice. Maybe the answer is to do what many businesses do any apply an increase annually. Ultimately I think if you back the quality of what you offer then you should reflect that in the price.

You’re very understanding. As a provider I’ve had incidences where I’ve bottomed for the client and unfortunately it’s been a bit messy. Even if you think you have prepared thoroughly and are confident about being clean it can happen. Therefore I try to be understanding and not make a drama out of it.

Sad. Ok so an anecdote doesn’t mean it’s common…but here’s my experience of meth use. I’ve a provider friend who I’ve known for years. A beautiful intelligent and sexy guy. We met at a porn film shoot (an auspicious start!). We were not scheduled to film together but the director guy saw that we had connected so put us together. The shoot was as if a fireworks factory went up. We became friends, we saw a few clients together, did more films, had fun. Our orbits were different (I’m older, have some different interests) but as is the case in London, and in the gay scene especially, it’s a city village and we came across each other from time to time and kept in touch. We’d exchange helpful information on the business with each other (although my client base and modus operandi was a bit different to his). We’d also make recommendations of guys to film with (the Onlyfans collaboration circuit 😂) and share stories. There’s some experiences it’s better to talk about with another sex worker. Over time I became aware that he seemed to be going down a route that took in the London party scene and clients who liked PNP sessions. However he seemed to be ok with it and was having fun so I didn’t say anything. Then one time we were chatting via text and somehow ended up booking a weekend away together, as a chill out and break. We’re both kind of impulsive like that. The plan was, relax, shoot a film, eat, sight see, do random stuff. On the break I noticed he’d disappear into the bathroom for ages and he seemed to be constantly awake and slightly anxious. I didn’t ask and kind of assumed he was finding it hard to wind down. Other than that it was a nice break for both of us. A few months later I saw him and he looked like he’d aged years. He told me he’d been doing meth, including while we were away (how didn’t I notice?). He told me he realised he was on a path to destruction so he’d signed up for a course to get clean and had cut off all contacts with the circle of friends’ who’d got him into it. He asked for my help which I was happy to do. His story was that at first it was fun, and he felt he could handle it. He hid the effects of it successfully and appeared ok. Then, all of a sudden it changed and he went from ok to not ok in an instant without realising it. Fortunately he got out and is ok now but it was almost too late for him. As I said, it’s an anecdote. It’s not a controlled academic study into the impact of PNP but I thought I’d share because I saw someone who lived a beautiful life almost destroy themselves by opening a door they couldn’t close again.

That does sound like they can’t cope with it!

Wax for max smoothness. Although I do shave my balls. In the shower with foam and a razor. Works fine.

Some people can cope with it, lots can’t. I occasionally get asked but my answer is ‘no’ because I think I’d be one of those people who couldn’t cope with taking substances. I don’t even drink! Group is fine, happy to do that but once it becomes a PNP type event then I’m leaving. If you aren’t into it then best to decline

Latex gloves feels too clinical. Condom is fine if it’s just a finger or two going in.

I like the ‘get acquainted’ approach. Sounds good. Most of my clients are massage clients. Those that are anxious or new to make to male experience appreciate the opportunity to treat the session as just a naked massage. That way they can tell themselves nothing need happen unless they choose it during the session. We go at their pace. I find that working with anxious or ‘exploring’ clients probably the most rewarding and interesting sessions. It’s so fulfilling when they say they had a great time. One of the best parts of the work.

I find most of my clients who request or agree to anything in their bum are prepared. And definitely a shower before we start is important (I’m not rimming unless he’s showered!!). A few very inexperienced guys aren’t prepared but these tend to be those that describe themselves as straight but curious and they decide they want to try something in the moment rather than it being premeditated. I’ve never suggested to any client that they douche immediately before the session, or during it, especially if anything large is going inside because I know from my own experience that I need time for things to settle down. I remember one out call client I visited who had only just finished douching as I arrived. During the session it became very messy, so he freshened up, douched again and we restarted but with the same result. He got increasingly anxious so I suggested we avoid any penetration, which helped him to relax and finish the session. I’m sure had he douched a few hours earlier it would have been better.

Interesting topic. I’ve had clients ask me not to shower or use deodorant before their visit, and if possible to be a bit sweaty and worked out when they arrive. Also to wear pants (underwear )that have been worn for a day or so. Others ask me not to use scented massage oil but I think that’s more because they are perhaps visiting discreetly and they don’t want their partner to know. I don’t mind what the client smells like as long as it’s not cigarette smell. That’s quite off putting.

Most are clean, if you’re fingering a guys prostate you’re not going deep. Sometimes things get a bit messy, more usually if I’ve topped a guy. It’s an occupational hazard. Just clean up and ignore it. The client doesn’t need to be made to feel bad about it.

I’ve never been requested to use a condom for oral. That would be very unusual indeed. Clients sometimes request me to use a condom on my fingers if I’m doing prostate massage although I prefer to do it without a condom on. I find most clients are fine to not use condoms these days (which is also fine with me). I like the session to progress naturally and the act of putting a condom on, possibly multiple times, is just not conducive to that. But the client’s requirements are priority so they call the shots in this respect. Some are very anxious about catching something which really inhibits their enjoyment. I think if you’re that anxious then probably best not to hire. Just be sensible, test regularly, don’t do highly risky activities and get on Prep.