Monarchy79

12 minutes ago, Marc in Calif said:

But that's his entire MO here in these forums! 🤣

Be nice. 

These forums allow people to express their experiences, and in some cases allow people to vent. 

 

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I applaud your astute observation of this reality.

One of my friends who is of Caribbean/African descent has always taught her teenage son that his behavior represents his entire race so DON'T screw up.  The chain of negative perceptions of race will only be broken by those who don't allow prejudice to saddle them with a predetermined destiny.

Behavior 

11 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

There’s a reality of numbers …

There's a reason why there’s a “model modify” stereotype for some as well … too few examples of interaction for most  and if they are of similar nature, it gets grossed up in the population as well 

 

The problem with the “reality of numbers”, is that it’s selectively used to draw “scientific” conclusions and generalizations towards black men. 

For example, in many discussions on crime, the easiest “statistic” that people use to make the generalizations that black men are pre-destined to be criminals is that they are “a small percentage of the US’s population, but are the highest percentage of those conducting crimes”. Because of this, I’m looked at as a potential criminal, simply because of this statistic.

However, the profile of a lone-wolf, IS terrorist of a middle aged white man;

The world’s most prolific serial killers are white men; and 

The highest demographic of child predators are white men.

Yet, no one (of any race) carries any fear or discomfort around white men at all.

Jeffrey Dahmer, the Craigslist Killer, Stephen Port (the original Grindr killer), and Mark Latunski (the Grindr killer who mutilated his victim), are all widely known, yet no one (of any race), will have any reluctance to hook up with a white guy in the middle of the night anonymously from an app, because white men are generally assumed to be harmless, regardless of data or statistics. 

On 4/16/2023 at 5:57 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Just a reminder from my OP - we do have a lot of studies (ethnographic) on this area, but only from the provider PoV. They make interesting reading.

You can find a LOT of these on the Internet; I found these 2 the best:

Surviving the Streets of New York: Experiences of LGBTQ Youth, YMSM, and YWSW Engaged in Survival Sex (urban.org)

Chicago_0.pdf (innovatingjustice.org)

The NYC study really delved into the issue of race. One brutally honest quote from an interview with a provider:

 

Additional translation from the “street level Hooker” from this study…. 
 

“I can snooker a white guy out of $200.00 by shortening time, but I can’t pull that B.S. with a black guy…..” 

Further, I’ve seen quite a few posts on threads where people complain about providers shortening them on time. 
 

Kudos and respect to any customer (black or white) who has the balls to call out any provider who is trying to pull stunts like this for a fast and easy buck. 

On 4/21/2023 at 6:21 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

This is become, and has always been: a pet peeve. RentMasseur is particularly prone to this, I find. But other sites like Adam can have more than their fair share of it. For example on my Twitter I posted:

#1 If you KNOW you have a budget, don’t ask what an escort/masseur charges. Save the guessing games and make an offer.

#2 My rate is in my ad OR website. Repeating it is extra work=fee

#3 I know my worth. Don’t gaslight me.

I know there was a recent discussion about haggling that I didn’t get to “in time”. But this isn’t about haggling. It’s about basic decency. I imagine most out there have common sense and an idea that a full service SWer is going to ask $200-$300. If someone isn’t prepared to pay that amount, they shouldn’t be approaching off the bat, asking what someone charges. They need to be saying right off the bat: I don’t know your prices (even though it’s on my site, which further proves some stupidity and inability to read), but I’m able to afford X, can you assist? Versus trying to be cunning and make me make the first move. 
 

Also, it’s not like I walked up to said person offering to sell him something. Said person came and DM’d me. If someone knows they can probably only afford a certain amount, common courtesy would be to simply INCLUDE an offer. For example:

 

Notice how he had time to say everything else, but didn’t have time to say what he could afford to pay. This is just time wasting and playing guessing games. 
 

Meanwhile, I’m supposed to be able to afford to visit a different city: spend on commuting, hotel and pay my bills at home, off some phantom amount less than what I charge. But I’m too expensive? Okay...

I feel my prices are decent because couple weeks ago, I had 4/5 back to back bookings in a couple days, who all paid what I asked without trying to talk me down or say it’s too much. And the other day, met a great first time client who sent deposit ahead, booked the room/session and was accommodating from before to after the appointment.

If they can do it, there shouldn’t be any excuses from others not to maintain proper etiquette. 

Always remember that you can’t impose your standards or beliefs of etiquette onto others. 

Carmax doesn’t haggle, 

Neiman Marcus doesn’t complain and never explains….

… and neither should you.

If you provide your pricing to a potential client and he responds with what he “can’t afford” and what he thinks you’re “worth”, simply don’t respond. 

 I wouldn’t even waste my time being offended. 

3 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

You’re on to something, but those generalizations are a bit steep. Don’t fall into the trap of believing and manifesting certain things to be true. It’s simply not.

 

 

I definitely don’t manifest these stereotypes, not to apply them to how I view or judge people. 

My posting was based on observations of things I’ve witnessed in life, from conversation to posts on this forum. 
 

I make a conscientious effort not to apply generalizations to others, because I hate when it’s done to me (and it’s done to me a lot). However, I do enjoy debunking those generalizations and watching people embarrass themselves in the process. 

On 4/16/2023 at 10:20 PM, Rocca said:

In my experience, I have not seen much variation in price based on race or color. I have seen variation in price based on age, and maybe fitness level. Ive seen older men charge a little less, and Ive seen older men who aren’t as fit charge less. 
Guys with model/actor looks are going to charge about the same black or white. Guys with average looks charge about the same black or white.

There may be a twist to this… The average looking white guy is now a “niche”. And many command higher rates… 

Remember, Paul Rudd got voted “sexiest man alive”, and the COVID pandemic gave more empathy for the “dad bod”. 
 

On 4/11/2023 at 7:24 AM, pubic_assistance said:

I just don't understand negotiating rates. You're not buying a car or a home. You're asking a human being for his time and attention. How tacky to tell someone of any color that they're worth less ! 

Agreed!!! It’s so disrespectful. 

On 4/17/2023 at 12:56 PM, DWnyc said:

Agreed.

However there is difference in the association with exclusion when these identities are proudly stated.

This is why most US colleges will have an African American or Hispanic or Asian etc student club but not one for whites, primarily because there is no need when the entire campus, not to mention the country, is open to them and when no effort is needed to find demographic peers.  

To paraphrase Matt Damon’s character in The Good Shepherd, “the rest of you are just visiting”.  Now I don’t believe that … America is perhaps the greatest example of constantly welcoming and empowering incredible diversity, but it neatly sums up a lot of attitudes and realities. And that’s why it matters how and why difference and preference is expressed. 

America welcomes diversity, but not equality. 
 

On 4/7/2023 at 1:21 AM, DWnyc said:

I heard from more than one white friend (clients) who have said something on the lines of, given stereotypes of higher rates of crime (violence, drug use etc) among African Americans, they will avoid that demographic in providers since such meetings are already fraught with risks.

At least he’s being honest. A lot of white guys (and even other minorities feel this way). As a black man, I understand the generalizations and how they evoke fear in others. But I find it disturbing that generalizations ONLY stick to black providers or clients. It’s as if Jeffrey Dahmer never existed. 

I think that one of the biggest privileges of being white is that you are not chained to the screw ups of others in your own race (you’re treated as an individual). 
When your are black, you are connected with every crime, affliction, and bad experience that every group has had with a black person in their entire life. 

12 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

I couldn't say, but there is no rule that says Asian guys aren't subject to internalized raciscm.

Agreed. 
 

I just find it hilarious (and hypocritical) when men of various ethnicities call white men racist for having a preference for white men, when they have the  exact SAME preference…. 
 

I find this to be very common…. 
 

This topic is a bit more layered and complex than people are realizing. Although the rest of  the world of business is quite clear that there’s a racial hierarchy, the sex/“personal services” area is a bit different; and it takes more than just one’s ethnicity to determine what type of rates they can charge…. From what I’ve witnessed:

1.) An average looking white guy can probably command a higher rate than an average black guy, BUT a good looking black guy with a BBC can charge more than an average white guy. 

2.) a Latino guy in his home land (brazil, Puerto Vallarta, Dominican Republic), will get lowballed due to the saturation of competition and the currency exchange rates, but he can come to the US, oil his sexy body up and offer unskilled massages with his uncut pinga swinging by around, and command a higher rate than a white dude with training. 
 

2.) White guys however have longer shelf lives. Other groups get older and “fade out” the business. White providers morph into “daddies”, and capitalize off of that easily. For example…. a white twink can morph into a twunk and then into a daddy; but you rarely see that progression with other groups. 

3.) Then there’s the “niche” effect….

black “thugs”, get paid more than white “skaters”, but a young white twink can command more of a higher rate than both of them. A white guy that gives you “redneck, white trash” vibes can also compete with the black “thug”, in rates. 

Then factor in such things as age, body type, hair color, etc. For example, if you’re a white guy, and have a hot body, are within an “appropriate” age range, AND have a rare physical attribute , such as being a natural blonde (like Nordic blonde, where even your pubes are bright blonde) or a natural redhead (ginger), then you’ll be able to command top dollar. 

All in all, whatever your ethnicity is, find your strengths and capitalize off of them. 

On 4/7/2023 at 12:35 PM, Rudynate said:

I have never made a formal study, but if you look at ethnic preferences in profiles on hookup sites, it seems fairly common for guys to list just about every ethnicity EXCEPT Asian.  

And Asians exclude other Asians themselves… 

When was the last time anyone heard or saw an Asian vocalize a specific preference for another Asian?

I’ll wait…. 😎

On 3/16/2023 at 7:43 PM, Unicorn said:

 The drive to seek sexual activity is like the drive to seek out water and food.

Fleece Johnson would agree….

On 3/16/2023 at 2:45 AM, Unicorn said:However, this is a vaccine rife with side-effects. 

I completed my second dose in August of 2022.

The only side effect I had was mild itching (at the site of the shot) for one day, and a scar that faded in three weeks.
 

Further, 

The Monkeypox became somewhat of a “scarlet letter” of diseases, and came along with stigmas. 
 

Catching it, reflected a narrative of being a sexually-irresponsible, reckless deviant. No one wanted to have that image (even if they were all of those things). 
 

Add to that, being quarantined and locked away from one’s livelihood (earning money) scared the crap out of people too. 
 

This was one disease that no one wanted to catch. I’m glad people took it seriously. 

On 3/14/2023 at 4:29 PM, ThroatCummer said:

You're good.  It died out mostly because "the gays" (read: me! lol) all fucking mobilized because we know how to handle a freaking virus. 

Personally I believe that there’s a “twist” to this comment, as I personally believe that we gays mobilized only because the Monkeypox had drastic physical/visual impacts. if Monkeypox didn’t have the side effects of those terrible rashes, it would have grown to Pandemic levels. Gays weren’t mobilized in the name of vigilance. The Gays mobilized in the name of VANITY.

I know this, because I did too. 
I went full on celibate until a month after I got both shots. 

The easiest way to help with sex addiction is to discipline yourself to avoid “triggers”, like porn, hookup sites etc, and find another “addiction” to replace it…. Preferably an addiction with benefits, such as working out, or a craft related hobby that requires, time, study and review, and possibly volunteering or and extra job. 

they key is to be so inundated with other things that you won’t have time to be triggered by the incessant desire for sex. 

Idle time is a major issue for any sex addict. 
 

Life lesson:

Men, in general are shallow and critical on appearance. And being in a group that’s exclusive to men (the “G” in LGBTQ), it’s going to amplify it. 
 

Whether it’s your level of femininity/masculinity, skin color, race, hair color, eye color, body size, body shape, economic status, intellectual acumen, age, zip code, car type, profession, political affiliation, or style of dress, someone is going to be a cruel critic. 
1.) Grow a thick skin

2.) ruthlessly defend yourself to those who insult you to your face 

3.) ignore & block haters/critics online

……and live your best life. 

I think that Kissing (in any situation) is extremely YMMV….

So many factors involved, extending far beyond general attraction… specifically dental health and oral hygiene. 

A lot of guys simply don’t brush, floss and rinse enough… you’d never notice until you get close enough to kiss them. 
 

29 minutes ago, Pensant said:

Ditto. I’m always impressed when someone takes such bold steps to improve their looks. I had a large Adam’s Apple that had some loose skin around it and got that taken care of. Since I’m a compulsive work-out and cardio kind of guy, the compression mask I had to wear was a bummer but at least I could go on 5 mile walks.

I’m in absolute agreement with you!!!

The only problem with that is politics is going to rear its head in other forums (it’s happening now).

22 hours ago, Wanderoz said:

Long dry spell still!

It’s time for you to try him. Take the plunge. We’ll gladly appreciate your feedback!!! 😁

Just don’t have sex until you are fully healed. 
even if you’re not conducting any oral action, your facial expressions from sex can impact recovery within your face.

Just consider this to be a point of temporary celibacy. 
 

Sex will always be there. 
 

Congrats on the surgery!!! 

4 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

As I believe I shared on one of these pages, a potential date flatly refused to even talk with me after I stated I have my own massage therapy practice. In his mind massage = escort. 

That’s a reflection of HIS ignorance, not on the general assumptions of massage therapists. People with common sense know the difference and act accordingly. 
You should be thankful that this potential date displayed his stupidity early on… 

3 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

As I believe I stated, state law prohibits my advertising on masseurfinder and others, so that's a non-issue.

My pique was at the original question of the topic: masseurs that go all the way, why not go to an escort? The question inferred that a massage is code for something sexual.

Nothing ridiculous in being proud of my profession. I bring a lot of relief and satisfaction to my clientele.

And yes, there is room for all when it comes to types of bodily manipulation. But don't call an apple an orange just because they are both fruits.

The irony of all of this revolves around your screen name. The  “Mr. Humphries” I remember, (licensed or not) would definitely be one of the naughtiest masseurs in the industry…. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣