Jump to content

Escorts Say the Darndest Things


glutes

Recommended Posts

After texting me that he was on the way:

 

Him: On the way. Do I need to bring anything?

Me: just lube and stuff

Him: I don't have condoms. Do you?

Me: No

Him: Damn. Let me see what I can do.

Me: Ok

Him: What's your opinion on BB?

Me: Not a fan. I always play safe.

Him: OK. I can stop

Me: Thanks

 

This was in early August and, at the time his RM profile said "Safe only". It now says "Anything goes".

I've since seen some BB porn that was recorded before our meeting. o_O

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I arrived on time at the escort's apartment. After about 30 minutes of wine, conversation, and some serious carnal interaction, the doorbell rang. He seemed very surprised, and we agreed he should at least go take a peek. Then I hear the door open and muffled conversation.

Escort: You're way too early, so watch tv 'til I'm done.

He returns to the bedroom. Me: WTF?

Him: My next client is early. He's really hot - you want to make it a 3-way? I won't charge you any more!

Me: Thanks, I'll pass. Here's half.

And as I was leaving, he didn't protest the reduced amount. He just greeted the waiting client and told me to come back some time. Hell, I didn't get to come the first time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some gems here (including a few from the client side).

 

After I sucked his dick and ate his ass, I try to kiss him. But "sorry, I don't kiss after oral sex".

 

That's surprising to me - a shower beforehand usually makes things... palatable (for kissing, before and after)

 

Yes, I always insist on a shower right before I do any rimming. shower.gifIt's not only hygenic but I usually get to do the soaping up (yay!).

 

So, often the escort is perfectly happy to kiss afterwards. http://www.ourgtn.org/public/style_emoticons/default/asskiss.gif

 

But I respect them if they aren't into it.

 

Yeah, it seems to me that an escort who refuses to make out after getting eaten out is tacitly expressing a lack of confidence in his pre-session nether region hygiene. Rather than a blanket 'I don't kiss after gettin' rimmed,' I'd hope escorts who are not comfortable with that prospect would find the politesse to bring up in advance whether a client they are otherwise cool mackin' with post-buttmunch would mind freshening up their lips/mouth/tongue post-rim and pre-muggin'.

 

A wee bit awkward to broach with a first-time client perhaps, but IMO preferable to the buzz kill of either asking a client to do so after he's been rimming me or saying a flat no.

 

I think Austin Powers' thoughts on the subject apply all around: "I know before I'm on the job I like to give my undercarriage a little, "How's your father?"" :p

Edited by BigRic
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
I arrived on time at the escort's apartment. After about 30 minutes of wine, conversation, and some serious carnal interaction, the doorbell rang. He seemed very surprised, and we agreed he should at least go take a peek. Then I hear the door open and muffled conversation.

Escort: You're way too early, so watch tv 'til I'm done.

He returns to the bedroom. Me: WTF?

Him: My next client is early. He's really hot - you want to make it a 3-way? I won't charge you any more!

Me: Thanks, I'll pass. Here's half.

And as I was leaving, he didn't protest the reduced amount. He just greeted the waiting client and told me to come back some time. Hell, I didn't get to come the first time.

 

Was the client hot?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When he's done look at him and say: "Hummm.... Maybe 50 more."

 

http://media.gettyimages.com/videos/young-man-athlete-doing-push-ups-street-fitness-gym-exercises-and-video-id546649378?s=640x640

He may mean it. Once a guy asked me whether his pecs were the best I'd ever seen... When I smiled and said nothing, he jumped out of bed and did 50 push ups.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Klingon/Vulcan with a splash of Romulan/Antarian.

 

Exchange between myself (M) and a young man (YM)...

 

YM: I'm sorry. I have to ask. But, what are you?

M: Beg your pardon...

YM: What are you? Obviously you are not like me...

M:I am classified as a mammal within the order of primates. More specifically, my species is Homo sapiens. In short I am a human; much like you.

YM: umm... I meant what is your race...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...