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Escorts Say the Darndest Things


glutes

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During the midst of exercising my amazing (or so I thought) oral skills:

 

"Do you know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow?"

"What kind of law do you practice?"

 

Wasn't sure whether to laugh or just bite down really hard.

When in doubt: bite.

 

My personal trainer usually offers me an arm to get up from the bench. He put his arm out the other day, and I went for it with a bite. well, feigned. Scared the shit out of him.

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That is a real thing. I gave a friend my old iPhone after the antenna died on it. He can use it for texting and internet, but it won't place or receive calls.

Sounds reasonable but it seems like he could also have a phone that took/made calls. I'd think that's a good tool for an escort. But he could have been broke. IDK. I think he also refused to share a picture so it didn't work out.

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I'm dying..  :D Some people, I wonder if they even think about things like this before they speak..

I'm dying..  :D Some people, I wonder if they even think about things like this before they speak..

well, they live in a world where they bang with dudes for money, I don't really think boundaries are something they worry about too often. Which is why I love em' lol. #straighthookers

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A number of years ago, I engaged a young man, who was very new at escorting. He was attractive and billed himself as an experienced bottom. It became obvious that he was indeed a rookie; after a few moments of enjoyable thrusting, he glanced back at me and said, "After you cum, do you want to get some ice cream?" Ah, youth.

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Exchange with a Brazilian escort in Europe just last week:

 

"Why do you have two identical iPhones?"

"Because my wife would be pissed if she knew I was fucking girls."

"Um, you mean guys?"

"No, she's ok with me fucking guys, she just doesn't like when I fuck other girls, but I really like pussy."

"Oh..."

Brazilians in Europe are a law unto themselves.

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